


Breathe Me In

by DammitDameron, HJMoriarty



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awkward Flirting, Death, Enemies to Lovers, It is Star Wars..., M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Probably Against Regulation, Sass, Secret Relationship, Trauma, Undercover
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-06-05 11:33:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 173,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6703051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DammitDameron/pseuds/DammitDameron, https://archiveofourown.org/users/HJMoriarty/pseuds/HJMoriarty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>~ This was all happening so fast, but it felt perfectly right. It felt like, if the pace was at all slower, neither man would be interested in this thing between them - not to say that they were only in it for the bouts of sex, but that they would much rather tango than stand and sway back and forth. ~</p>
<p>An undercover mission sends General Hux into the heart of the Resistance to gather information regarding the rumors of a certain map, leaving him to stand toe-to-toe with Commander Poe Dameron. As they clash and fight, tooth and nail, past traumas reveal themselves to prove that, perhaps, the light and dark sides are not so different, after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Welcome to the Resistance

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!  
> Feel free to comment/contact the authors here or over on twitter ( @JustGeneralHux and @DammitDameron )  
> Cheers and love~

Days like these used to mean something so special to the Rebel fighter; the Resistance had reached out and recruited new fighters. A few of the more promising ones had been allotted to learn beneath the prodigious command of none other than Poe Dameron, himself. The first couple times he had been turned loose to fresh, new pilots, Poe had treated it like a ceremony of sorts. Early to rise, he would have numerous events planned out, starting as minuscule as welcoming the new potential squadron. Dameron had a lot to live up to with his name and he wanted to ensure only the best for those he would be in charge of.

But that all quickly lost its appeal. Case in point, the day had arrived again. Only, instead of meticulous planning the evening before, Poe had been seen down at the pub on base, enjoying the rarely allowed downtime. His current squadron knew when to draw the line when it came to Poe, and these new ones wouldn’t. He basically felt ‘on-call’ 24/7 the first week of training, meaning the new pilots would seek him for advice throughout all hours of the night. Poe simply wanted to enjoy what version of freedom he could, while he could.

The late night also meant a late morning. Poe awoke with a start, bolting up in bed with a gasped, “oh, Force!” He scrambled to ready himself for the group he knew was already standing at attention on the tarmac awaiting his arrival. That meant he wouldn’t get to shave. Or find decently readied clothing. To say Poe looked a mess would be an understatement. But it worked for him. It showed his more carefree, laid back approach to life on base. Sure, things were building out in the galaxy, things not so swell, but that was there. Here, he felt more at home. Or, the most he could, at least.

Hopping off the back of a vehicle, Poe finished shoving his wrinkled shirt from the day before into his pants, trying to at least exude an ounce of decency for this meeting. He could see the group shift from a more relaxed appearance to that of soldiers lining up before their drill sergeant. “At ease,” he teased, his hand lifting to brush back his unkempt curls. “Ah, so let’s see what the recruiters claim to be the cream of the crop…” The pilot began walking down the line of newbies, giving a stern glance to each and every one of them. “You lot understand why you’re here, right? This isn’t pilot academy. If you think you’ll get a chance to fly one of /my/ ships and call it a day, you are sorely mistaken! This isn’t going to a walk in the park, neither! You were assigned to _me_. And if you don’t know who _I_ am, I suggest you start paying attention.”

Down the line, Poe heard a male mutter to the girl beside him that he was the best pilot in the Resistance. That curved the Rebel’s lips up into a smirk.

“Damn right, I am.”

Among the men and women lined up to listen to the supposed 'best pilot of the Resistance' talk was a tall male, thin and wiry. His head was tilted slightly, jade eyes - almost silver - tracked the Commander’s movements with an icy gaze. Fiery hair was hidden, mostly, under a loose beanie-beret style hat. The frost in his eyes was reflected in the snow white color his skin and the chilly aura he gave off. A red eyebrow quirked at the pilot's response to a whisper. How incredibly unprofessional.

To say that General Hux had found himself in a Resistance base happily was by no means true. The First Order needed someone to infiltrate enemy lines. Someone who would not be quickly recognized, but was highly skilled. The ginger had pulled the short stick. He was hardly newly appointed to the rank of General, but was still vastly unknown. The majority of his involvement in the First Order was working on secret and classified projects that kept him out of the public eye, let alone the spotlight, and instead had him pulling strings like a puppet master. More, Supreme Leader Snoke trusted him to carry out the mission or die in the process. And that was the true selling point. Put an informant in the mix who would not easily leave the system when they were set free.

While Hux would give his life and soul to the Order - and in many ways already has - he was not happy to be standing in line with the scum around him. Commoners, rebels, distractions, worthless - all of them. The pilot talking was no different. But he was commanded to keep his head down and act his role well - pretend to be a new recruit and pull information like a torturer pulls teeth. With more finesse, of course. It was an easy decision, as well, to determine where he would enter from. The Resistance was desperate for new pilots, despite what the curly haired commander was saying in his opening speech. If you had any background in flying at all and weren't recognized for being on their stolen and out-of-date list of First Order members, they snatched you up with so much as a second glance. It wasn't hard, really, and that almost disappointed the ginger. With that kind of security and background checks, once their weapon was built, the Rebels would crumble without so much as a protest. The red beam of Starkiller would be the last thing they saw.

The ginger ducked his head to keep from meeting the eyes of his 'mentor'. Play shy and nervous - he could do that. He could pretend and act his part without hesitation. None of this was difficult. None of the mission would be complicated. It was routine. And he was a damn good soldier.

The rabble of potential pilots before Poe was less than decent. Impressive, most certainly not. They looked as though the Resistance picked up the first hodgepodge of nobodies that they could find. The Rebel Commander had to roll his eyes, fighting back a sigh of disappointment. Just once, he wanted someone assigned to him that intimidated simply by pure look alone. Was that truly too much to ask for? Nobody in the lineup even dared catch his eye. They were looking at their feet, off to the side; anything to avoid the scrutinizing gaze of their Commander. Which Poe didn’t mind one bit. They seemed easy enough to whip up into shape. Maybe he’d be finished before the first week was even over.

“And what, might I ask, do you think you’re going to bring to my squadron, newbie?”

Poe had stopped directly in front of a pale-skinned male, taller and thinner than himself. He slowly lifted his gaze from the male’s boots, up his lithe body, then finally settled it on his face. This one, too, avoided his gaze. Shy, perhaps. Intimidated. Poe got that frequently, though to those who knew him, he was one majorly laid back fella. Darkened eyes narrowed on the natural disposition this potential pilot held; was that a sneer hidden just beneath the down-turned lips? Distaste, perhaps, lingering in an unenthused gemstone-tinted gaze? Something wasn’t sitting well with Dameron when it came to this guy. He stepped a bit closer, getting much more into the stranger’s personal space as he inspected him more thoroughly.

Hux tried to keep his head down, tried to keep his gaze averted, tried to keep his stance relaxed and open, but the moment the Commander stepped closer, the General's eyes trained on him. There was no way the dark haired man could know about him. No possibility that the dark eyes watching him with a fire could melt away his defenses and see the dark agent of order that hid in the false pretense of a student. To have someone of lower rank, more, to have a Rebel so close and defiant caused the ginger's instincts to take control. He barely bit back the sarcasm and scowl that wanted to be let loose on the pilot. Instead, he schooled his features, feigned a nervous smile, and responded. "Hux, sir."

He debated his answer to the annoying question presented to him. He hadn't had time to read the man before him, couldn't quite decide what the man wanted to hear. He could lower himself to be starstruck -- the moment he even considered that option, his pride and loathing toward such rabble-rousers crumpled it up like paper and threw it to a far corner of his mind. He didn't care if he was undercover, he would not just roll over for the Resistance. The ginger scanned his gaze over his mentor. Golden skin, sculpted features, unruly hair, and piercing eyes. The man's muscles were mostly hidden under clothes, but the few hard lines that Hux could see told him about the man's physical state of being. The man had joked about his piloting prowess, so the General twisted his snark into a response.

"Well, I'm certainly bringing you a new hair color," his false smile turned into a smirk for a moment before he turned serious. "I'm here for the cause, Sir. Willing to put my life down for a greater purpose."

He watched the slightly shorter man like a hawk for a few seconds before dropping his gaze to the floor. This pilot, he already could tell, was going to make the mission frustrating. For some reason, the commander had honed in on him and, now, within the first few minutes of the operation beginning, Hux was already on thin ice. Fine. Be it so. He could play this game of chess, pit the dark and light against one another as the two kings of the sky battled one another on the ground. He glanced at the pilot, then immediately back down.

“Sarcasm should have been your answer, _Hux_.” Did this newcomer truly feel as though he could waltz right into Poe Dameron’s squadron with such sass and snarky comments? It made the pilot scoff, “tch,” then start circling around him, eyeing him from head to toe. There was definitely an odd something going on with this feisty redhead...the lifted gaze that held such unhappy emotion that, also, quickly fell into an almost shy look… “Well, it would appear right now as though a different hair color is all you can offer me.” The pilot’s steps halted when he was standing in front of Hux once more. “Clearly, you are no match for physical combat. How would you handle yourself if one of the Order’s brainless monkeys approached you and your blaster malfunctioned? Could you even throw a punch to at least make your opponent whine?” Had it been any other circumstance, Poe’s eyes would have gladly scanned that slender body for other reasons, but those sort of thoughts couldn’t happen in a situation like this.

A few of the recruits nearby in line sniggered, while the others, the smart ones, remained silent with their gazes dropped. Poe wasn’t stupid; he knew there was much more to strength than just basic, first glance appearance. And where some lack physical strength, they greatly make up for it with their smart wit and quick thinking. This was merely a tactic of sorts. A way for the Commander to weed out who appears to be a sturdy brick ball but quickly crumbles under the first sort of pressure. To see who could handle themselves in an uncomfortable position. He was going to make a lesson out of the male if nothing else.

Around them, a gentle breeze kicked up. The trees set off to the side surrounding the tarmac shivered, sending leaves to noisily fall around them. That same breeze lifted some of Poe’s unruly curls, causing them to fall in his eyes. But he didn’t allow that to deter him. His gaze remained locked on Hux’s expression, even if the jade depths didn’t lift to meet his own charcoal orbs. “Tell me, _Hux_. Could you handle yourself in a situation surrounded by three, four, five of their greatest fighters? Granted, that’s not saying much. I’ve seen toddlers in a playpen fight more ruthlessly than I’ve ever seen a member of the Order fight. The lot of them are nothing but spineless, mindless, brainless fiends. So, then again, maybe you could handle yourself against them.”

The ginger bristled as the pilot spoke about his Stormtroopers and then challenged him outright. It was true that his armored-clad soldiers may not be the most effective, but they were mere pawns in a greater plan. They weren't even worth actual names - just numbers in a coded system. His hands clenched behind his back. He knew this tactic - had done it on his own officers multiple times. The rebel was trying to see if he would crack. If that's how the Commander wanted to play, Hux would rise to this verbal provocation with his own strategy.

He leveled his mentor with a hard gaze, frozen and cold. He had to be careful. Get under the man’s skin and into his mind, of course, but he had to keep his own background and motivations leashed and held back. The recruits that had snickered at the previous words had mostly fallen silent. The gentle wind was strong enough to shift his hat uncomfortably.

He smiled, an idea slipping into his mind. He reached up, calm, to pull it off. “Could I handle myself against First Order soldiers, Sir? I would hope so. Muscle does not make the man,” he tilted his head. The hand holding the hat ran through his hair, smoothing it, before dropping behind his back. "But, then ‘handle’ could mean a great many things, including, for example, standing toe-to-toe with a superior officer and forcing his attention to focus only on what you want him to see,” his other hand tapped a finger on the pilot’s still-sheathed blaster, where it had secretly moved to rest while he purposefully pulled attention to revealing his hair.

The collective sound that surrounded Poe had his cheeks flaring up with heat and his brow furrowing with offense. Of course, the moment Hux had outwitted the Commander, the other recruits all responded with an almost daring, “oooooh!” that weighed heavily with baritone mocking. Charcoal eyes flashed even darker, mimicking an orb of onyx as they narrowed into small slits on the redheaded male trying to outwit him. With a clenched jaw, Poe tried to come up with some comeback that would take the attention off of Hux and put it back on him. But, try as he might, he was rather impressed, enough to leave him speechless. And that, above all else, pissed him off.

“Take your hand off my blaster, Recruit.” The Commander’s words were angry and full of stern demand. What bothered him the most was how focused his attention had gotten to watch that slender hand brush through locks of hair that were previously concealed by the hat. And Hux _knew_ it would quickly steal his attention. Poe’s jaw clenched even more as his nostrils flared, then he abruptly took a step back and turned away from the recruits. Somehow, he had to regain control of the moment. If the others saw how easily manipulated he was, then they would eventually end up taking full advantage over that. A Commander couldn’t be great if he didn’t gain the respect from his squadron.

“The X-Wing!” He finally decided it best to just change the subject completely. “Should I pass you as pilots, will become your new home! And if you haven’t had any experience flying one before, or even something vaguely similar, then you probably have no business standing here on my tarmac!” The pilot tried to keep a loud, attention-drawing tone to his voice, hoping it would snap them out of their amusement from the little mishap and back onto his leadership. “You will do more than just pilot a simple craft. You will be in charge of weaponry, engaging fully in battle, and maneuvering in ways you never dreamt possible. I have rules you must abide by!” Poe finally turned back around to face the mangy lot, hands clasped tightly behind his back. “If you _puke_ in my Starfighter, you will be banned. If you _break_ any piece of my Starfighter, you will be banned. If you _crash_ my Starfighter, you will be banned. And by banned, I mean permanently. There are many roles to fill here on this base. Standing here doesn’t mean you’re qualified as a pilot.”


	2. The Test

The smirk Hux wore and flashed each time his 'mentor' locked eyes with him was closer to a Cheshire grin than a sneer. He didn't care that he had to reveal his wild card so early - everyone, literally everyone, was thrown off by his hair color the first time they saw it. He had grown used to having to do things such as repeat his orders to new recruits on their first days. No, he was content and pleased to have knocked the cocky pilot down a few notches. A man beside him gently bumped his elbow against the ginger's. Hux glanced at him and the recruit gave him a smile and nod, whispering, "That was bold, man. I'm Rico."

He nodded back, "Hux. A pleasure."

The First Order General had long since tuned out what the Resistance Commander was saying. Green eyes scanned his surroundings. The Order had received a rumor that there was a mysterious map that led to something that could help these rebels turn the tides of the war. He needed to find a way to the source of that rumor without the dark haired man breathing down his neck. With that thought in mind, he turned back to Rico. The man was shorter than Hux with chestnut hair and hazel eyes that shimmered with uncontrolled excitement.

"So what made you want to be a pilot, Rico?"

Never, in all his years dealing with recruits, had Poe been so blatantly unnerved before. His words soon fell to silence as he adapted an uncaring appearance; hip jutted to one side, arms folded over his chest, and brow quirked in mock curiosity. With his attention now drawn to Hux after the little charade he pulled, Poe flicked a gaze over to him, only to find him immersed in a conversation with the recruit beside him. After a moment of watching them, the Commander decided to clear his throat to let himself be known. When he felt stares returning to him, he chortled, eyes once again narrowing in on Hux. This man was proving to be more of a nuisance than anything useful.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” The Rebel pilot feigned apologetic, bringing a look of shame to his expression and placing a hand over his heart. “Did I…I didn’t mean to disturb social hour! Forgive me, Hux. Please. I wouldn’t want to upset you.” For a brief moment, his bottom lip jutted out, very reminiscent of a scolded child and he dropped his line of sight to the ground. But then a sneer replaced the sadness and the heat returned to his rather puppy-like eyes. “If nothing I have to say to you is too important, clearly you’ve heard my speech a thousand times before. Would you care to step up here and recite it to the others?’

A smirk curved the corner of his lips as he quirked a challenging brow in the ginger’s direction, daring him to disobey. “That wasn’t a suggestion, Hux. Get up here and give my speech for me.” Poe stepped to the side and made a motioning signal at the spot he was just previously standing in, alerting the other pilot to step forward and proceed. “We’re waiting, Princess. Losing valuable sunlight here.” The Commander was going to make it his personal mission, now, to crack the foundation holding together Hux’s rather porcelain looking skin; he was going to open him up and expose him for all that he could.

The redhead's amicable smile fell away and he glanced at Rico, then at his mentor. Was the man really calling him out _again?_ Challenging him, even though the General had already put him in his place? Additionally, did he really just try and scare Hux by asking him to make a public speech in front of a handful of people? The ginger was used to that sort of presentation - in fact, he was used to speaking to thousands of people, rather than just a squadron. He gave a look to his neighboring recruits before slowly approaching the Commander.

"As you wish, Sir," He answered, turning to face the other pilots. He thought about his words carefully. How, exactly, was one supposed to give an introductory pep talk to their enemies without saying the wrong thing? He cleared his throat, shooting a final glance at the shorter man beside him - a last minute way for the Rebel to get out of this game - before speaking. "Today is the first step in changing the galaxy. Today you - men, women, human and not - stand against the terroristic reign of the First Order, an organization that does not differentiate between right and wrong, but rather slave and enemy. They will do whatever they can to intimidate the Resistance - to make you bow before them." He tossed a sneer to his mentor. This was his stage, his element. He was an orator, a strategist, a leader. Only after all of those was he a soldier. It was his job to control the masses and rule above others. This was no challenge, it was a bloodbath.

"To kneel is to retreat. To die is to give yourself to the cause. To survive is to rise and fight again another day until the last breath is drawn in this war. Sacrifices will be made, hardships come daily, but if you accept the opportunities given to you, work hard to perfect your trade, and fly into battle beside the, heh, best, then these obstacles and pain will not be made in vain." He turned to the Commander as he concluded, emerald eyes clashing with onyx in a collision of gemstones and hard edges. "Welcome to the Resistance."

That would become the second time that day that Poe had been silenced into pure humiliation. Of course it turned out to be an amazing speech; only a fool would challenge someone to go up against a hungover male stuck out in the blazing sunlight to a contest of wits and vocabulary. The rest of the recruits seemed thoroughly engaged now though as they cheered and clapped like Hux had just won some victory. Truth be told, though, that Poe found himself…inspired, in an odd way. Had he not already been well involved with the Resistance and he was approached by someone giving that speech, he easily would have dropped whatever he had going on in life and joined without second thought.

“Oh. Force…" Rolling his eyes, Poe had to look away once more. Twice now. TWICE. He had attempted to stand up to his fiery nobody and was quickly smacked right back down into place. The Commander was beginning to doubt _himself_ now. It seemed at the moment that nothing he could do would deter Hux. Nothing would break him into a picture perfect pawn in the war. No. There was too much backbone with him. Too much… “You, me. X-Wing, now.” He seethed through gritted teeth, giving his head a swift jerk in the direction of his own customized X-Wing. “You spit a mean game, Pal. You may have them convinced you’re something special, but the true test will be once we get up in the air. Go.”

"On your mark, Sir," Hux chuckled at the seething commander. It had taken almost no effort to bring the man crumbling down. He turned his back to the troops, giving his new rival a toothy smile - a Cheshire cat mimicking the crescent moon - and began to make his way in the direction previously indicated. Murmurs, whispers, and footsteps followed him. Truthfully, he had not flown in a while and he knew that he would have to remember the logistics of it rather quickly. Undeterred, he approached the craft. He glanced at the under-wing and the identification information found there. 'Poe Dameron'. So that's the man's name. The General hummed, then climbed into the cockpit. He very purposefully took his mentor's helmet and strapped it in place before the man could enter the X-Wing with him.

Perhaps the ginger was being petty. Perhaps he had put his mission aside to instead goad the pilot into a partial state of submission. Perhaps he really shouldn't be playing with fire when he completely expected to be burned for it later. Perhaps none of this mattered anyway and he was going to upstage Dameron at any chance he could get.

Hux adjusted his seating - long legs finding a comfortable position, one hand of the driver's stick, the other flipping on the control panel to check the readings. His brow furrowed. These were not the normal controls or the standard settings and steering. In fact, not much of the ship was regulation. Most of it seemed to have been taken apart and changed and built from scratch by a mechanic that deeply cared for the craft.

So that's how this was going to go?

"You can't beat me fairly so you put me in an altered environment. Clever," he whispered to himself under his breath. "And annoying."

The shorter Resistance fighter had to nearly double his speed to simply keep up with the longer legs the redhead possessed when they walked to the ship. He was beginning to feel at a complete disadvantage with everything; wit, speech, speed, size. So, needless to say, the pilot was already fuming when Hux had ascended the rope ladder leading into the cockpit. That wasn’t what he wanted. Or needed. Any more advantages given and Poe might as well just hand over his entire squadron to the command of this sarcastic nitwit. It didn’t help, either, that his cockpit simply wasn’t engineered to accommodate two pilots. It was very much made around him, solely. Had he not allowed his emotions to get the best of him, he would have taken his chances in one of the trainer X-Wings that had two separate seats and controls for him to take over if need be.

Wedging himself uncomfortably behind Hux had Poe feeling more embarrassed than anything. It was like trying to jam an incorrect puzzle piece into a random slot; it just didn’t fit. But he managed after several not so accidental kicks to the ginger’s long legs. “Half expected you to be up in the air and back by now,” he growled with annoyance, smacking the side of his helmet that currently resided on top of Hux’s head. “Pendejo…” After receiving a helmet for himself, he simply sat back, motioning wildly for Hux to do something. “Really. All talk and no action? Have to admit, I didn’t see that coming, Mr. Know-It-All.” His taunting words truly were nothing more than childish, but he hated to be upstaged by anyone. Especially in front of a group of strangers he was meant to impress, intimidate, and command. 

The redhead grumbled little nothings - half formed curses and insults that he bit back just before they could be fully vocalized. At the mockery, Hux took control and turned the ship down the tarmac, driving it slowly around the recruits who had gathered onto one side to watch the grudge match come to fruition. "All talk, Commander, is what led you to feel the need to take me off to the side and challenge me, again. As it stands, _Sir_ , the score is in my favor."

He shifted around. The small space was obviously not used to holding more than one pilot. More, it wasn't used to having two men shoving and kicking at each other in pathetic excuse to get comfortable while accidentally hitting each other. Hux put an end to the push and shove fight they were having to, instead, be the mature one of the two. He pushed his weight against his mentor once more before straightening his back, leveling his shoulders, and acting professionally. More or less. He drove them down the runway, picking up speed until he could flip on the thrusters and take them airborne. He piloted them just above the trees surrounding the base, making sure to mentally map out everything for future battle plans. The Resistance had cornered themselves in a thick forest, nowhere to run and everywhere to hide and wait for an ambush. How sweet of them. They were practically defeating themselves.

A fear surged deep within Poe’s body and rooted itself permanently inside his gut; they were in his own personal X-Wing. The one he had slaved over during any allotted down time. He had put more blood than tears into this Starfighter than anything and now it was completely in the hands of a stranger. One that he had poked and prodded and angered, threatened, challenged… All within less than an hour of meeting. He had never allowed himself to show such emotion to any of the recruits, especially not so quickly! His big mouth, once again, got him into a predicament he easily could have avoided. Poe blamed his father for that annoying trait within him. Kes Dameron was quick to defend his pride and put anyone to rest that dared make a mockery. It was only natural his offspring would get stuck with the same problem.

Trying to be as subtle as he could, Poe’s hands lowered to his side, grabbing onto anything that could possibly keep him alive if they were to crash. And his heart was telling him that a crash was very much possible. Not only did he know _nothing_ of Hux’s piloting abilities, but he had rerouted his steering and his controls to properly suit him. It was so far from normal protocol, that not even his best pilots could handle his Starfighter, if they had to. Granted, he could use this moment as a teaching opportunity in the end…maybe that could help deter the other recruits from assuming him some hot-headed imbecile. Without meaning to, Poe’s eyes began to shut as they were lifted into the air, and when he finally convinced himself that they hadn’t crashed, he opened them up again.

The General clicked on his radio. "Anything you wish to see, Commander, or did you just want to have a heart to heart?"

“Oh, thank you…” the dark-haired man breathed out before whispering a small prayer in Spanish. As soon as he heard the radio in his helmet click on, he sat straighter, the best he could, and tried to recompose himself. “Huh?” Oh, real smooth, Dameron. “Oh, no...Uhm,” regardless of whatever anger or sadness or heartache Poe felt on the tarmac, the moment he became airborne, it all seemed to drain away. The sky and the stars truly were his second home. And they had that comforting ability to reground his rampant thoughts and allow him a moment to just breathe. “This is more than just a challenge, Pilot. This will be your determining test as to whether you remain or not. So, I suggest you show me what all you can do.” The Commander’s words were much softer spoken now as he turned his head to the side, watching the beauty of the surrounding land stretch out before his very eyes. 

The ginger had the nerve to scoff at the other man's words. A test to see if he could stay? Fine. "You already know my name, Commander, you might as well use it," Hux huffed. The controls were different, here, the space too closed in for a proper sitting position, the air too warm with two people forced into a place that should only hold one, if that. Regardless, the General never backed down when someone questioned him. He had graduated the youngest of any Academy graduates, ever. He was now the youngest General in the Order and the most influential. He didn't get to where he was by rolling over, and he certainly didn't get here by skimping out on flying lessons and mastery. After all, he controlled the stars with his aerial tactics and strategies, he had to know how to at least hold his own while flying to be able to win wars in the air. "Hold on, Flyboy."

With that as his warning, Hux spun them to the side, rolling them and spiraling them into air. He felt the thrill that came with being out in the field rather than behind a screen and let the adrenaline rush through him. Poe wasn’t given ample time to boycott that downgrading nickname Hux huffed his way. With little to no proper warning, they began the ascending spiral. The grip Poe had on the side of his Starfighter tightened even more until his knuckles flashed white, not enough blood able to reach them. Dameron's jaw clenched so tightly that he was sure his teeth were going to break. 

The ginger struggled for a few moment with the controls before adjusting to them and taking them through a few more maneuvers. He wasn't entirely comfortable behind the wheel. Wasn't really used to driving instead of ordering. Wasn't really used to not being in constant control and having his demands followed. But he dug down inside himself and went back over the books he read and practice runs he did while in the Academy. 

The moves weren’t exactly perfect; they were anything but. But the guy had style, Poe had to give credit where credit was due. Truly, he was not expecting any of the new recruits to be able to do any tight barrels, or a rather smooth spiral. The Rebel pilot could sense a great deal of hesitancy with Hux’s actions, but that could easily be dealt with over the course of rigorous training. Had it not been the red head spitting words heavily dripping with sarcasm, Poe would have been greatly excited to welcome the pilot into his squadron.

After a few loops and dives and twists, the General leveled them out. He purposely jerked the craft, seeing if he could shake Dameron at all. “Ay dios mio,” the stockier man breathed out after releasing his death grip on his safety bar a second too early. That jostle made his heart nearly jump out of his throat and he was prepared to reach around the male and right his wrong doing. But, when he determined it was a move made in pure jest, he scowled. 

"Did I pass?" The paler of the two smiled over his shoulder, devious and knowing. His skills may be rusty, and he may not really enjoy piloting at all, but he still knew that he was the best recruit that had stood in front of the rebel pilot this morning. Pity for the Resistance that he wouldn't be staying long.

“If the test were on showmanship and pilot cockiness, then yes, you passed.” Regardless, Poe was going to allow this man a chance to return the following day to continue with his training, but he didn’t want to come across as too eager or too accepting of his decision. Sweat trickled down the side of the Rebel’s face, slipping from beneath the helmet to get stuck on his stubbled chin. Reaching up at the tickle, he brushed it off and cleared his throat.

This man, this recruit, could become the perfect threat. He clearly had a brilliant mind that he wasn’t afraid to use. His skills were, though a bit shaky, decent and could easily be trained into something lethal. Smart thinker, quick witted. A man like that turned over to the enemies could prove a grave mistake for them. And Poe couldn’t allow his bitterness and his anger towards him risk that. So with a sigh, he nodded, though he knew the male in front of him could not see. “You passed, Hux. Good job.” A simple truce would suffice, for now. Three times that morning he had challenged the other, and three times Hux came out victorious. Poe, though hot headed at times, knew when to lick his wounds and move on. And this was one of those moments. 

The General chuckled - a low noise that lilted across the radio feed. Well, wasn't that delightful. The sound of defeat that clung to each of the Commander's words was a sweet victory. It was perfect and exactly how a Rebel should sound when talking to a leader of the First Order. Hux made a wide loop in the air, slowly taking them back toward the hangars. This was why no one challenged his rule and order. His bite was a bad as his bark, and he had every means to back up his words with action. More, he was a quick study - able to adapt to situations that would normally rattle or break lesser men. He simply shifted his stride and moved onward, stepping around the things he couldn't do and countering them with those which he excelled at.

It was, after all, just a large-scale, metaphorical chess match. And he was not afraid to put his king into play. On the contrary, he lived for the game of war and the miniature battles that made up the overarching narrative. This mission, this rebel pilot, this undercover operation, were nothing more than a part of the collective whole. 

More than anything, Hux knew he should accept the victory and move on. He had won the battle today, there was no reason to push for a war. It was time to go back to being a recruit and keeping his head down and getting the information he needed. All of these things he should do. None of these things he actually did. Instead, he cocked his head slightly toward the smaller man, a smirk etching onto his pale lips and a glimmer painting his visor-covered eyes. When he spoke, his voice was less of a taunt and more of an insult, his disgust for the Resistance drying and cracking over each word. "For the supposed best pilot, Commander, you are easy to impress and please." Then his words dropped lower, the radio popping in his ear as it garbled part of his speech, much like another helmet he was used to encountering while he commanded the Finalizer. "Are you certain _you_ would be able to defeat First Order soldiers?" He twisted the mocking question back onto the other man, spurred on by his own pride and small victories.

The anger that began to surge within the Rebel’s body was a deep emotion he hadn’t felt in a long time. His lips pinched up into a snarl so badly that his teeth were exposed, only adding to the menacing appearance he had going. “Land us. Now.” Those three words were all Poe responded with, knowing damn well that if he were to retaliate, it wouldn’t be terribly pretty. And truthfully, he wasn’t looking to get into _that_ much trouble so far. No other words left Poe’s mouth as they landed back on the tarmac. Without hesitation, he removed his helmet and opened the hatch to the cockpit. Roughly, he shoved past Hux and jumped down with a grunt, not even bothering to fuss with the rope ladder or wait for help to get down. Taking the spare helmet he was given, Poe lifted his arm and threw it angrily down onto the pavement, watching has it shattered into several pieces.

Hux pushed the exact wrong button. No one dared challenge him on his abilities to fight and protect what he held valuable. No one ever dared call him out like that. Especially not some punk new recruit that had no idea when to keep their blasted mouth shut. Every step Poe took was with thundering anger, the rest of the recruits scattering to avoid getting in his way. He didn’t look back. Not once. Not caring if the redhead was following or not. The way he was feeling currently, he would turn and land a solid punch right into that cocky expression. Oh, Hux boiled his blood. And he wasn’t going to stand for it any longer.

No one dared stop him on his path to find Leia. He was sure steam was billowing from his ears and flames shooting out of his nostrils. No, this problem had to be fixed. And fast. If he was smart, he’d wait a little bit, simmer down and cool off before barging right into Leia’s office and speaking through a haze a red. But then again, this was Poe Dameron. The man who lived on different emotions and acted accordingly. Finding her where he expected, Poe shoved through the door, barely giving it time to slide apart, then slammed a heavy palm down onto her desk. “I want him gone. He’s rude, condescending, cannot take orders seriously, is continually trying to show me up. I want him on sanitation duties. Make him scrub the fuckin’ bathrooms if you want, no me importa. But get him off my squadron before I estrangularlo con mis propias manos!” 

-//-

Hux, meanwhile, had watched the professional pilot storm away, watched as his students scattered around him, watched as the man retreated and handed the ginger the trophy of victory. His cold grin was back, ice in his eyes and encasing his very being. Next time the curly haired Rebel faced him, he would know not to cross the General. He would know his place, regardless of how accepting he was of it or not. The First Order had shoved the Resistance into a corner, the king had been surrounded and the game ended in a swift checkmate.

The ginger hopped out of the X-Wing, suddenly surrounded by a few of the other recruits who had wandered over to him. Rico was among the group, a lopsided smile on his face as he approached, practically vibrating with his energy. Hux forced his features to soften as he hid his military persona once more. The small group bounced up to him, patting his back and lightly hitting his shoulders.

"Man, that was sick!" Rico laughed, hazel eyes sparkling. "Like, day one and you just wrecked shop!"

The General rubbed the back of his neck, his act back up. "Well, I mean, I'm not going to be talked to like that and just let it slide."

"And where did you learn to speak like that? I got chills, man. You should be a recruiter! I bet you could talk over First Order officers to the Resistance if you pitched them something like that," the brunette laughed.

They continued talking, and one by one the rest of the group introduced themselves and joined in the jokes and praises. Hux went along with them, putting his hands in his pockets and keeping his answers more or less lighthearted. It was only when they invited him to the base pub that his mistakes donned on him. He had drawn too much attention. Probably pushed too hard, if the destroyed helmet on the ground was any indication. He bit the inside of his cheek. If he was kicked out of the ranks or reassigned to another location, the mission would be prolonged and possibly a failure. The more time he spent here, the more he stood out. The more he stood out, the more suspicious that people would become. He followed the other pilots out of the hangar, determined to keep himself under more control - more militant and less obvious.


	3. What Have You Lost?

For nearly an hour, the angered Rebel paced back and forth in front of a highly unamused General Organa. With as long as she had known Dameron, she was used to these little episodes. Poe didn’t like it if anybody outshined him at his own game, plain and simple. Too many colorful comments were made in regards to the scene that played out during his initial meeting with the new recruits. Poe had put Hux on blast, majorly, and when he finally collapsed in one of the chairs facing opposite of Leia, he was ready to hear what all she had to say about it.

“Give him time.”

Alright, that was the exact _opposite_ of what he wanted to hear. He was prepared for her to side with him on matters. But the way she saw it, Poe finally had an opponent that could match him on his own level. Too often, Poe came out on top simply because the challenge wasn’t there enough. With Hux, Leia was sure they were going to pull out the best within one another. Much to the pilot’s dismay, instead of Leia even once acknowledging anything he said about Hux that may have been accurate, she turned it around on him, scolding him. And there he sat, defeated and slumped in the chair, feeling much like a child getting reprimanded for tattling by the old schoolmarm. 

By the time Leia finished laying into him, Poe sulked out of her office feeling very dejected and actually a bit ashamed for how he handled things. He barely made it around two bends before running into one of his closest squad mates. “C’mon, man. You and I have a date with the pub tonight,” he growled, pulling the other male in the proper direction. He didn’t speak up once until they had settled themselves in a corner, away from the majority of the crowd. With having his gaze lowered, Poe hadn’t realized more than half of his new recruits were in there enjoying themselves. With _him_. But when he lifted his line of vision to put in his order, dark eyes connected on fiery hair and he felt his heart drop into the pit of his stomach.

“Force…”

\--

The ginger worked the room, gliding from group to group as he made a mental list of potential allies and contacts. He knew how to network and to draw people to him at social events - he was an aristocrat, after all. His entire upbringing was one gala to the next and one dignitary after another. He made snide comments and sarcastic remarks, his comments growing more pointed as the alcohol flowed into his unsuspecting peers' blood. As he moved, Rico followed him like a shadow, hanging off Hux and keeping a friendly arm wrapped around him. The General used it to his advantage, pulling the other man along and looking much more approachable as he went and expanded his social base.

"Don't look now," his companion warned, "but your favorite Commander's here."

Jade eyes scanned the room, landing on the hunched figure of Poe Dameron. That was one conversation he wasn't ready to have. He had already made himself too blatant and too much like a beacon. He needed to lie low and stay on the outskirts of the rebel pilot's vision if he didn't want another confrontation.

"So it is," he returned, taking a sip of his whiskey. "I think it's for the best if I just steer clear of him. Let him cool down before humiliating him anymore."

"I swore he was gonna punch that smile off your face today," a woman, who they had been talking to, laughed. "He was so pissed after you did your little speech. What did you say to him up in the air?"

"And where did you learn to fly?" Rico added.

"Nothing much," Hux ignored his human accessory. "We had a feeling sharing moment, I decided to meet his family, he decided to meet mine, and we hugged it out," he snarked in response, making his audience laugh.

\--

“Isn’t that your new lot of recruits?” The burly male beside Poe asked, both men watching the group chatter excitedly and carry on without a care in the world.

With a scoff, Poe rolled his eyes, “unfortunately. Pathetic, right?”

“I dunno, man.” Rhys sat back in his seat as his larger arms folded over his chest. His gaze remained on the group, nodding. “They don’t seem half bad. You had a chance to break em in yet?”

“Tch…” Leaning forward so his elbow rested on the table, Poe supported his chin in an opened palm. “Just Mr. Popularity over there,” his pointed gaze remained locked on Hux. “Check this…This pendejo tried to outshine me three, Rhys, _three_ different times. In front of my recruits.”

Rhys gave out a short laugh, only wishing he could have been there to witness such a thing. “Let me guess. You threw a little temper tantrum, which is why you’re sitting in here, pouting. Am I right?”

Dameron remained silent at that until the barmaid came to collect their order. Last thing he needed to do was lose himself in the numbing liquid again for a second night in the row. He would certainly need to have himself better collected for the morning, especially if he were to smack that pretty, porcelain face right back down to where he belonged. On the bottom, like the rest of the recruits. As four smaller glasses were set before them, each filled to the brim with an amber liquid, the Rebel Commander let out a great sigh and reached for one. “Bottoms up,” he grumbled before knocking it back with ease, never once dropping his gaze from the red head striking up conversations far too easily.

“What do you think he’s over there yapping about?” Poe finally broke the silence at his table after both had gone another round. “I don’t… I don’t like it. He’s probably over there mocking me, don’t you think? As if he didn’t get enough of his chuckles out on the tarmac earlier. Now he’s got to come to _my_ place of relaxation and turn everyone against me.”

Rhys couldn’t help but roll his eyes with annoyance. “Ey! Ginger! Red!” he finally called out through the noise of the pub that was steadily filling up. Lifting a large hand into the air, he waved Hux over. “What don’t you find out for yourself so we can get on with the night, eh?” He huffed, motioning a second time for Hux to come join them at their table. Much to Poe’s protest.

\--

Hux glanced across the room when a man called out what he could only assume to be an uncreative nickname to get his attention. His eyes ran over the man in question, sitting on the other side of a table as his mentor. He didn't want to go near the Commander. He wanted the opposite, actually. Wanted to stay away and not ignite another round of grudge matches between them. He had already put the Rebel in his place, already forced him to bow to the power and backbone of the First Order, and already come dangerously close to throwing the mission away because of his inability to stand down when challenged. He had done enough today and was now regretting agreeing to come to the bar, even if he had made progress with the recruits. He even got a better picture of what he was up against in gaining access to important information.

"Go on, man," Rico let the General go and shoved him forward in the same motion. "You don't say no to a Commander when you're just a recruit. Especially not when you're a recruit that pissed another officer off."

"Here's an idea, I don't go over there, pretend I didn't hear the guy, and instead just leave," Hux retorted. He didn't need another Resistance pilot scrutinizing him, but would it make him more obvious if he didn't respond?

With a sigh, the redhead steeled himself and slowly sauntered toward the table. He paused a few times along the way when someone else approached him. He kept each spontaneous chat short and kept moving forward, bit by agonizing bit. When he reached the destination, he put a small smile onto his face, reaching out a hand to the stranger. "Hux."

The man's grip was tight when he took the outstretch greeting, "Rhys. Good to meet you."

"A pleasure," The General stated. "How can I help you?"

Had General Organa not warned Poe to maintain a professional image when it came to his recruits, he would have had a few childish faces to make as Hux made his way over. But, instead, he kept a rather uncaring, bored expression to him, only lifting a brow briefly in acknowledgement. To avoid saying anything that would further get him into trouble, he reached for a glass of water brought along earlier and began sipping at it; slurping a bit loudly would be putting it more properly.

“Have a seat, Hux.” Rhys had absolutely no reason to detest the new pilot, so he wasn’t going to act unfriendly towards him. Whatever issue was going on strictly remained between Hux and Dameron; he wasn’t one to take sides over petty concerns. “So, Dameron here kindly told me that you--"

Poe had to interject at that by not so subtly kicking Rhys as hard as he could under the table. “Look, what happened, happened. Pretty boy over there thought he’d try to outsmart me. Little does he know, I can make his life a--"

“-- ceasefire, Commander!” Rhys cut him off with his naturally loud, booming laugh.

Poe’s scowl returned as he settled back in his seat, arms folding over his chest. His eyes cut to the side and his knee began to bounce up and down in a nervous tic.

“Now, today sounded to be a rather rough day for the both of you. Poe, with just a simple nod or shake of your head, answer.”

“Yeah, but he--"

“Nyeah! _Nod_ or _shake_ your head!” After Poe huffed and nodded, Rhys continued. “Tomorrow is a new day. Hux, I would kindly appreciate it if you didn’t get my buddy here so riled up. You see, I actually have work I need to get done at night, so I can’t keep letting him pull me to the pub anytime someone hurts his feelings. Think you can do me a solid on that?”

Hux had to steel his features as he watched the two officers interact. Dameron was obviously sore and sulking, but Rhys had an air of playfulness and inherent joy about him. Behind that charm, however, was something that demanded attention and respect - but perhaps that also was because of the size of the man. He was probably as tall as the General and probably also twice his size. He was built like a brick wall - one that was portly and soft around the edges, but, still a wall - and probably just as movable, were he ever to be crossed. The ginger turned green eyes to his Commander before looking back at his newest acquaintance.

The ginger nodded respectfully. Rhys felt like a military man after his own mindset - the man held himself carefully, even as he relaxed. His shoulders were straight, back upright, regardless of how he lounged in his seat. He acted like he owned the place, and for that, the General had to give the Rebel some kudos.

He was still Resistance scum and would bow or be destroyed, but, regardless, Hux was willing to give credit where credit was due.

"I apologize for making you have to deal with a moping Commander, Sir," the redhead sassed, causing a smile to appear on Rhys' lips. "And I apologize for him taking you away from your duties because he had a recruit show him up three times on the first day." His icy gaze shot to Poe as the man began to speak. "Look a the events of today, Commander. You called me out, focused on me to be an example for the rest of the squad, and then challenged me multiple times to try and humiliate me." Hux smirked. "I did not _try_ to outsmart you. I succeeded."

Rhys' hand was heavy when it fell on his shoulder and his deep laugh was hearty. "Damn, Poe, you've got a firecracker in your ranks!" The man threw his head back, jostling the undercover General as he chuckled. "He's a player!" The large man smiled, but gave Hux a look. "I like you, kid. But help me out and lay off a bit, okay?"

Hux locked his eyes with Poe's, gemstones clashing once more, as he answered in a growl. "Yes, Sir."

Poe felt as though he should have been granted an award for how well composed he kept himself; even after Hux verbally lashed out on him like that. Worst of all, _in front_ of his closest friend. That made the pilot seethe with unmatched anger and he clenched his fist tightly. But Rhys noticed and gave him a swift kick to the shin beneath the table to warn him to keep it cool. “Remember what happens to firecrackers, kid…” Poe had such a lethal amount of venom dripping from his words that it made even Rhys frown. “They explode into a thousand bits of _nothing_ , then fizzle out. And just like that, their existence meant nothing but a pretty build-up and an amazing explosion. You’re playing with fire, kid. Make sure you don’t get burned.”

As Poe spoke, he began to lean in close and closer to Hux with narrow eyes. So, with the last of his words, he scowled then dropped back into his seat, looking away once more. “Wow, alright, so if that wasn’t morbid,” Rhys turned in his seat, ignoring the moody pilot he arrived with to focus his attention on Hux. “Look, don’t let Mopey over here deter you, alright? If you’ve got that skill, then you’ll go places. Regardless of what piss poor attitudes try to tell you. Just…like I said, tone it down a little bit. You want Poe as an ally in the end. He’s saved my life more times than I’d care to admit. He might not excel with welcoming parties, but at the end of the day, he’s a decent man.”

It seemed as though Poe was completely missing every little bit of positivity spoken about him and could only focus on the negative; his mind was too far shot for the day to do much else. So he scoffed, making himself known once more, “looks like your precious little girlfriend over there is getting a little antsy without you to lean all up against. It’s not good to make yourself seem so desperate on the first day, fair warning. Friend to friend advice.” He flashed him a smile, though it was more snarky and sarcastic than anything else.

"Let's talk about desperate," Hux retorted instantly. He was done with this pilot. Done with the cocky _Commander_ who was certain that the _General_ of the First Order was going to amount to nothing, going to be forgotten, going to be nothing but dust in the wind. "How desperate does it seem for a commanding officer to challenge a first day recruit over and over and over? How desperate must you be to try and assert dominance, even when you are beaten? How much insecurity must you hold to feel that you will amount to nothing if you can't outwit one recruit?"

Hux was frozen over, each word spoken calmly, but laced with a cold anger that spiked into jagged edges. He would not have this scum question his worth or power or abilities. Nor would he play nice if all the man wanted to do was irritate and fight for who would order who. The kings danced on the chessboard as the ginger sat across the table from the curly haired man.

The First Order would not be intimidated by this man. He would not bat his eyelashes and play shy and innocent if the man was out for blood. He wanted a battle? Hux would give him a fucking war.

"How desperate you are to be known and remembered, to have your name written in the stars, to have everyone starstruck over you, Poe Dameron, if one recruit can bring you to your knees," the General growled out.

“No, he didn’t,” Rhys muttered under his breath, feeling utterly useless at playing devil’s advocate at this point. So, he stood. If the two wanted to duke it out and beat the other to a bloody pulp, well, it’s been too long since the pub saw a good brawl. “By the time I return with my drink, you two better have kissed and made up or I swear to all things Force, I will beat you both senseless myself.” And, like that, the larger male was gone.

The Rebel Commander was thrumming with anger that seemed to nearly pour out of every pore on his body. His leg now bounced uncontrollably up and down, his fists clenched so tightly that they flashed white once more, highly reminiscent of the grip he had earlier during the flight. Poe had never once questioned Leia’s motives or fought her on a decision, but he just could not understand how she thought that the two of them would ever make a good match. Both were obviously too outspoken for their own good, and both seemed to have problems remembering their place in the greater scheme of things. Regardless, he couldn’t just sit there and allow this nobody to talk so ruthlessly to him. To speak so degradingly and treat him like he’s lower than a speck of dirt beneath his boot. No. Poe couldn’t keep his mouth shut any longer. To hell with professionalism.

“You know what I challenged you, you whine-ass? To see if you had the balls to be here! Coming in here with your goddamn nose stuck in the air so high that if it were to rain, you would drown. You think I singled you out for any specific reason? Well, I sure the fuck did. That’s not called desperation, pal. It’s called weeding out the weak from the strong. You may have outwitted me in _one_ tiny little aspect on your first day, but that does not mean one bit that I feel threatened by you or that you left me with insecurities. You are nothing, recruit. You here me? Nothing. I don’t give a _shit_ what kind of home life you came from. I don’t care if you shat gold while eating the greatest delicacies in the galaxy. I _don’t care_ if you thought yourself to be the greatest pilot of your own damn hunk of bolts and metal. Here, you _are_ NOTHING. Not until I am through with you. And then maybe, JUST MAYBE, you’ll have a decent strain of pilot inside you. And just so you know, pretty boy, my name has been written in the stars more times than I can count. It _will_ be a name that you remember until you take your last damn breath. I don’t need anybody starstruck over me, kid. And I sure as hell will never drop to my knees for you. If that doesn’t fly with you, then you can take your crying ass back to whatever no good little planet you hail from.” 

Hux smirked at the words instead of sneering. Check, Dameron. "Keep in mind, Poe, that I am the _nothing_ that had riled you up to the point of breaking. You sit here before me, Commander, wrapped around my finger as I play your anger like a violin." He leaned forward slightly. "Do you feel powerful, now? Do you believe yourself to be the alpha? Have you asserted dominance?"

Despite his words, the ginger was bristling and crackling. Poe was walking on thin ice - while he was not going to reveal anything, was not going to blow his mission and his true status, he would not back down now. Nor would he allow the pilot to bow out gracefully, either. He would run the rebel into the ground, clip his wings and keep him landed forever. By the end of his time here, Dameron would understand that he could not control the ginger, could not defeat him in any means.

It was like this - the Resistance pilot could play in the clouds all he wanted, hop from poof to poof and make believe that he was the king of the skies. Hux ruled the stars. He would not bend. He would not bow. He would not break. He would match the pilot step for step. He would make Dameron fall in line.

The ginger hummed. "Or have you realized that you are less than this 'nothing'?"

Poe wanted to sink his fist into the pretty face so badly. It was like an itch buried deep inside his knuckles that began to spread throughout his hand, up his arm, and throughout his body. He was never one for brute physical violence like senseless fist fighting, a firm believer that such energy and passion could be honed it to better use in battle, but boy, oh, boy did he just want to shut him up. “I am not less than you,” was his simple answer, his heated onyx eyes locking firmly on the jade ones before him. Slowly, the tremble in his knee began to lessen and his fists began to relax. “I’m sure wherever you come from, you aren’t terribly missed, are you?” Now his voice was much softer, almost melodic as it pried deeper into the cracks he was so desperately trying to get to with Hux.

“No, you’re so used to being someone’s bitch, aren’t you. You were an absolute nobody in your past doings. Probably some refresher cleaner. If even that…” His head tipped to the other side as his lips spread into the tiniest smile. “It sucks to be a nobody, doesn’t it? Seeing all of us that actually mean something in life. Those of us that actually serve a purpose…I get it now.” His smile continued to grow in the most mocking way that it possibly could. “You thought you would come in here, make yourself seem all big and bad and just step right up into a position of worthiness. Cute, Hux…I admire your spunk. But, you’ll never be a somebody. Nobodies like you will forever remain…A nobody.”

Everything about the ginger suddenly steeled, his eyes flashing almost silver in the lighting around them. He went completely still for a long moment before suddenly snapping straight, all his focus shooting back into his military persona. The people around them has started to grow quiet and shift away from the arguing officers. Hux’s smirk dropped away, one brow quirking upward as his lip curled.

"Where I came from, Poe, would not be in existence without me and I am nobody's bitch," he sneered, sitting at his full height to literally and figuratively look down on the pilot. "I didn't come here looking for a Commander who projected his own tales of woe and his own self issues onto his recruits. I was hoping that Resistance leaders would be too sure of themselves for such petty deflection and defenses." He paused, head tilting, reading the other man, scouring for clues and hints in his body language and his words. "Tell me, Pilot, what are you afraid of? Not being good enough? Your cockiness would certainly be a good means of over-compensation. Being replaced? Your brazen attitude toward challenges and your inability to accept defeat would attest to that. Or perhaps something else. You don't like defeat. Which would mean you're afraid to admit that you have lost." Hux stopped, understanding dawning on his expression. He smirked. "What have you _lost_ , Dameron?"


	4. This is Your Starfighter

The emotion that washed through the Rebel’s body had him torn in many different directions. Though it felt like an icy cold chill was traveling down his spine, his flesh had never felt more heated in all his life. His jaw clenched with such power that he trembled. But, for once, he was at a loss of words. Oh, he had lost plenty leading up to this point. But no one ever dared make mention of it. Those around him knew better. There had been a dark depth in Poe’s life that he had to force his way out of. And even though he knew the recruit knew nothing about it, he still couldn’t help but feel as though Hux had reached into his chest, gripped his heart, and ripped it out. 

Rhys appeared the moment Poe stood abruptly from his seat. He dropped the glass to the floor, causing it to shatter noisily, and further adding to the silence already consuming the pub. He had overhead the last bit of what Hux had said, but he knew it to be enough. So before Poe could launch himself at the ginger, he began shoving the Commander towards the exit. “GO!! Dammit, just leave! Get out of here!” He yelled, struggling with a livid pilot. When Poe finally had enough, he stormed out on his own, needing to get away from everyone possible. 

Rhys turned once more and approached Hux, though not out of the same anger Poe had. “Look, you’re new here, kid. But you could have easily been the better man and said enough is enough. Words cut deeper than a knife sometimes, and you just opened a wound in him that didn’t need to be touched. I suggest you keep your head down and stay out of his way tomorrow, regardless of what he comes up with. Be the better man, Hux,” he reiterated, sounding more like a lecturing parent now than anything. 

The General nodded at Rhys words of caution, but kept his defenses raised. He hardly felt bad for the cocky pilot. They were waging a war. What did he expect? Losses were as common as leaves on a tree. They happened every day. If a soldier could not accept loss, then their days were already numbered. The guilt and doubt and sorrow for a lost pawn could overwhelm and push people to rash decisions. But if the Commander wanted to hold onto lives lost in battle, so be it. The redhead made a mental note of his weakness for future reference before turning on his heel and striding back to Rico.

"Yo, man, that four times you've bumped shoulders in a few hours," the recruit said upon his approach. "That's hard core."

"And unnecessary. And inconvenient. And, frankly, a waste of my time," the ginger snapped. The pub was still hushed. "I'm going to bed. Have a wonderful night," he stated to his false peers. "Cheers."

With that, Hux left. When he was finally away from prying eyes and nervous smiles and could no longer hear the eager, energetic words coming from the bar, the ginger lashed out. His fist collided with the stone wall a few times in his anger. Reckless. He had been reckless and conspicuous. He had practically painted a target on himself and stepped in front of a firing squad. He had kept a cool, unfaltering facade as the pilot tried to pick him apart, but the truth was that he had struck too close to home. He triggered Hux's defenses and the need to deflect attention elsewhere. That damn Commander had stirred memories of a time not-too-long ago.

He sighed and looked down at his bloodied knuckles. Upon his return to his shared, barrack-style room, he make quick work cleaning and bandaging his hand before falling into a fitful sleep.

\--

Back in his quarters, Poe did everything _but_ settle down. His small bookshelf was his first victim; with a swipe of his severely shaking hands, everything residing on the shelves ended up messily on the floor. Then with a great yell, he turned, landing one solid punch against the wall. No damage befell the sturdy establishment, but the pain reverberating through a now bloody and swollen knuckle helped calm the irate pilot down immensely. As he dropped down onto the small loveseat his private quarters had, he fought back a heavy sob. No, he wouldn’t allow Hux to dig underneath his skin like that. He couldn’t allow himself to be reduced to a crying, pathetic mess. Not after one day, no.

But what has he lost? He’s lost plenty. Growing up and raised to be a fighter, he learned to accept his loses and move on with life. Poe was a child of the Resistance. He’s seen friends come and go. He’s been forced to handle death at a very young age. But what he _lost_ , he wasn’t prepared for. It wasn’t a downfall of a war. It wasn’t a loss associated with any fighting. It was simple life’s cruel humor once again reminding him that nothing was permanent. That there was nothing worth holding onto and developing happiness for. Poe lost a lot. And he refused to let anyone use that against him.

The Rebel fighter hadn’t meant to succumb to his exhaustion right there on the tiny sofa, no blankets and no pillows for him to use, but it happened regardless. As he woke the next morning, still clad in yesterday’s attire, boots and all, he sat up with a pained groan. The crick in his neck felt as though someone had jammed a blade right into his muscle, making it impossible to move his head. His body ached from remaining curled up on the two cushions offered by the piece of furniture, but worst of all, his knuckles had a constant heavy throb to them. He knew he was late. Again. But this time, he didn’t care. To have to deal with Hux when he was still battling the escaped demons in his mind made him want to curl up in bed and hide forever, but he knew that wasn’t an option. So he slowly trudged his way into his refresher and stripped down, needing a good, long shower. 

\--

Hux, meanwhile, had awoken before any of the other recruits. He was used to having to be awake and ready within a moment's notice as urgent messages and requests for his presence lit up his datapad. He stayed in his horribly hard and bumpy bed for only a few moments before he couldn't stand the feeling of something that managed to be less comfortable than military-grade furniture. He took a quick shower in the dark and dressed. He wanted his uniform back. Wanted the status that came with it and the lack of annoying Commanders who questioned his authority and rank with every breath. When he slipped into the hallway - dressed in loose, black pants were held to him by a simple belt and the light grey shirt given to him by the Resistance that hung from him, the sleeves too long and fell just past his knuckles - he looked down at his injured hand. He tested the movements, wincing at the pain it produced. Nothing was broken, that much he could tell, but the ginger made a mental note to, next time, lash out at something that was actually movable.

He ate a small breakfast, nothing more than a fruit bowl he found in the main mess hall, and sat alone in the hangar to watch the sunrise. Footsteps approached him and jade eyes turned to greet the pilot from the night before - Rhys. They chatted, even though Hux had never seen the point in small talk. A hand suddenly rested on his shoulder and the General had to fight the urge to move away. He wasn't used to people approaching him without fear, let alone being touched in any manner.

"You're crazy you know that, Red?" Rhys stated.

Hux wanted to tear the nickname from the man's mind and shatter it before ever being referred to in such a way again. "I've heard," he responded instead.

"Look, man, all I'm saying is that Poe's a great guy, he is. But, wow, you messed up last night. Just, for your sake, keep your head down today. Eyes to the floor. And don't rile him up," the pilot shook him when he didn't answer quickly enough.

"No promises," the ginger's answer got him a light knock to the head and a chuckle as the other recruits began to file in and wait for Dameron to make an appearance.

\--

There was no breakfast to be consumed. No idle chitchat to brighten his morning. Poe barely touched the coffee he had sitting on his small kitchenette counter, steaming away with not a care in the world. He moved about his small, private living space like that of a robot. No emotion reached his features and he paid absolutely no mind to what clothes he wore for the day; though he did manage to actually pick something clean this time. His stubble had been razored away to nothing, but he did nothing to tame his black curls that hung, unkempt, in dull eyes. What Hux said hurt and Poe simply couldn’t shake that unnerving feeling. As he made his way down corridors, he kept his head hanging low. The jacket he wore covered enough of his knuckles so that the injury wouldn’t be terribly noticeable unless someone searched for it. As people passed, they offered him kind "good morning, Commander"s, but he could barely mutter a response. 

Stepping into the hangar bay, he knew he was late. Much later than his appearance the morning before. This time, there was no pep in his step. No hustle in his movements. Those who didn’t step out of his way in time simply got bumped into with a muttered, "sorry" from his down turned lips. He didn’t do it to be mean, but simply because he didn’t look up in time to avoid the collision. Approaching his recruits, his gaze didn’t lift to acknowledge them, nor did he seek out the fiery recruit that put him in such a funk. Instead, he walked past them and motioned with his head for them to follow. 

“An, uh.. An important part of being a pilot is to know your craft both inside and out.”

The previous day, he had let his emotions swell up to the point of blinding anger and had failed tremendously at being a good Commander and instructor. One recruit, unfortunately, received all his attention that day as though the others weren’t even there. He couldn’t allow it to happen again this day, so he spoke to them all as one single unit. There’d be no singling anybody out.

“So, as a Rebel pilot, your main craft is the, um.. X-Wing. It’s.. It’s a good Starfighter.”

His words held no interest, though he tried hard to force himself to care. His mind, however, refused to let go of that disheartening question from the night before.

A sick sense of pride settled inside of Hux as he watched the Resistance pilot. The man was tired, worn down, utterly defeated. How had one question done this? The General was good at reading people, good at picking them apart in a way that rivaled that of Snoke's apprentice, but without the need for magic tricks and dramatic entrances. He glanced across the hangar to where the other Commander was working on his own ship, lost to the world except when he would look at Poe, obviously worried for his friend. 

Around him, recruits nodded at every word that Dameron spoke, eager and awestruck. Hux couldn't care less as the man rattled off facts that he was simply using to fill the void of silence. The passion from yesterday was gone, the pushed enthusiasm completely extinguished.

What had he lost that made him break?

The ginger turned again to Rhys, who was now watching him. The man gestured, pointing first at Hux, then raising his head, pointing to his mouth, and pointing toward Poe. He shook his head - the other pilot wanted him to say something, ask something, but he had no idea what. The man put his arms out like a plane, then motion in front of himself in a steering fashion, then held up one finger.

Plane, drive, one? Oh. Green eyes rolled, one of the reasons that he had accepted the mission so easily was because it got him away from babysitting temperamental children with no anger management and a knack for random destruction.

"Sir," he finally called out after receiving a glare and less subtle gesture from Rhys. "When did you first fly?"

“So, the thrusters…”

It took the instructor a moment to realize someone had spoken to him through his babbling off random facts and useless bits of information. Darkened eyes finally lifted to scan over the crowd of recruits. He knew exactly which one had asked him the question; beneath the sneer and condescending tones of ‘I don’t give a shit’ sat what could possibly be an accent. Poe had picked up on it when they were in the X-Wing together and it became nails on a chalkboard to him.

“Why do you care?” He mumbled, wanting to just ignore him completely. But he felt a tossed wrench hit the back of his calf and he glanced over to where Rhys sat on the mechanic’s creeper, glaring at him. Then he realized that the other recruits were exhibiting genuine curiosity, so he sighed and nodded. “When I was six, my mother began to take me up in her A-Wing Interceptor. I would sit in her lap and she would let me hold her hands as she steered. That’s when I first began to learn how to handle the controls. When I showed promise, she let me take my first flight. Granted, she was right there with me, it wasn’t as though she let me go up on my own.”

The more he spoke of his fond memory, the more cheerful his tone began. Almost as if it was the light drawing him out of the dark fog clouding his mind. 

“Was your mother a fighter too, sir?” Another recruit called out, causing Poe to actually smile.

“Both my parents were. My mother was a Lieutenant, and my father a Sergeant. It was my mother’s love for piloting that sparked my own passion for it. I lost her when I was only eight years old and made a vow to myself then that I would do whatever was in my powers to become a pilot as great as her.”

Hux hummed at the small tidbit of information regarding the pilot losing his mother. Was that his pain? Was that the reason that there was a fire behind his dark eyes? The ginger couldn't quite understand that, not with the family he was raised in. He had cut those ties long ago, with good reason, but he still held a few, choice, fond memories of his mother. Jade eyes watched as the dark-haired man came back to life, the vacant area in his eyes slowly igniting with renewed energy.

He half tuned out the ongoing question and answer session, it wasn't helpful to him, really. It was just another thing to distract him from his goal. He caught the thumbs up that Rhys sent him and wondered, briefly, if the other pilot was the key to getting the answers he needed. Surely Commanders would be privy to information about mysterious maps that led to destructive forces. He tagged the thought as one to ponder and test later, perhaps after the man had a few drinks and his tongue loosened. Until then, the ginger would lie and wait.

He scanned the potential ranks around him, taking in the sight of the recruits basically thrumming with excitement as Dameron retold various stories about his first experiences in an X-Wing. He locked gazes with his mentor for a long moment before breaking the stare to look away again. 

'Keep your head down,' he thought. 'Don't draw attention. Don't make the first move. Don't push, just resist.'

There was something lilting and natural in Poe's voice, some accompanying accessory that seemed rarely used and majorly regulated except when the man's own giddiness drew it out. It was something foreign, but Hux couldn't quite pinpoint the sound. Perhaps he wasn't the only one in the room muffling his normal accent to instead take up another voice all together. There seemed to be a metaphor somewhere in there, but the ginger tossed out the romanticized thought as soon as it came to better focus on what Poe was talking about.

It was only after the pilot had realized his shoulders were held a bit straighter and his chin a tad more lifted did he let his personal stories drift off. He didn’t want to open up to anyone, didn’t want to connect with anybody else on a personal level; not with the war really getting started in full swing now. He had dealt with enough catastrophic loss in his life...he didn’t want to add to the list of heartache. “Alright, so I feel as though now is a good time for you guys to get a better, more up close look at what it is you will, hopefully, one day be piloting. I’ll call you up, one by one, and give you a more proper look.” 

The first recruit he called up seemed to be an entire bundle of nervous energy. He could nearly feel the girl tremble beside him, though he wasn’t fully sure if it had to do with him entirely, or just her being so close to the Rebel Starfighter. Of course, anyone standing beside one would instantly feel over half their original size shrink away; the simple power behind the design alone was enough to make anyone be struck with awe. But her nerves seemed to get the better of her, and she could hardly ask a simple question with the way her voice shook. So Poe chuckled and rested a comforting hand on her upper arm, giving it a slight squeeze of reassurance before sending her back to the group. The next recruit he called up was a male who appeared as though he never smiled in all his life. Every word the instructor spoke, this recruit would counter with "mmhm…. Mmhm.. .Right, mmhm" to the point where Poe finally had enough and sent him back.

Third in line was none other than Rico; the male Poe watched hanging all over Hux at the pub. He smirked, and beckoned him forward, giving Hux a quick glance before ignoring him all together once more. “What are you here for, kid?” He asked him with an actual kind tone to his voice. “You, uh.” He scratched behind his eye, studying the sharp features and gentle looks the other male had. “Didn’t plan on coming here and finding love, huh? I’ve been watching you...You get pretty friendly, don’t you?” There was no condescending tone in his voice, no mocking underlayings. No, Poe was genuinely curious. His hand pressed to Rico’s middle back as he walked him further away from the crowd. “Last thing you want is to open yourself up to that kind of hurt. As a Commander, a friend. When you allow yourself to develop feelings, you are giving your enemy a chance to place a target right upon your back. And even if it isn’t you they destroy, the damage will be the same. You get what I’m saying?” Over his shoulder, he flicked another look to Hux, quickly looking away once more. 

The ginger in question cocked his head at the pilot's flickering glances. He spoke to Rico in quiet words and his acquaintance responded in vigorous gestures, both declining whatever was being said and acquiescing at the same time. The recruit returned to Hux side, head down. He shot the General a small smile before looking back to the floor. As another student was called up, the brunette spoke.

"I'm not bothering you, am I?"

"Not at all," Hux stated simply, even though he wanted nothing more than to be away from the crumbling base and shivering recruits of the Resistance. "What did he say to you?"

Rico's blue-ish eyes rolled, then glanced to the side, then finally met the jade watching him. "Get outta my head, man. I saw what you did to Commander Dameron at the pub. I don't need you reading me like a book, too."

"Hardly trying, Rico."

That got a smile and a chuckle. "He thought I was being flirty and told me that being in love leads to enemies having a place to hit you, or some shit like that."

A red eyebrow arched. That was rather cynical and pessimistic for someone like the curly haired pilot, whose energy seemed to take flight with a simple flip of a switch. It was true. But still unexpected. He watched student after student walk with his mentor, a few girls swooning at his every word and touch, a few men who were obvious fans, a few others who actually had some dignity and acted professional in the militant environment in which they were in. Hux wasn't really pondering anything as he silently stood, Rico still yammering on about one thing or another, switching from topic to topic about as fast as he could blink.

"And, man, just to warn you, there's only you and one other person who haven't seen the ship, yet," Rico whispered to him. "Might wanna get ready for round five."

Hux sighed, straightened his stance, and silently hoped that the Commander would assume that he had a close enough look at an X-Wing when he piloted one yesterday. The last thing he wanted was a walk-and-talk.


	5. Truce?

Only one student remained. Hux. Poe debated how he should handle it; first thought would be to ignore the ginger, state he’s already had a first-hand experience yesterday, why bother wasting any more time? But then he didn’t want to come across as petty. Somehow, he had to regain his level of professionalism, as difficult as that was going to be. Especially with how sour and distraught Hux’s simple question had left him. Poe was so ready to pummel the taller male into nothing. So ready to throw away everything he has built up over the years for one moment of his defenses being dropped.

“Hux,” he beckoned him forward, staring him dead in the eye.

His stance changed significantly as he cleared his throat, refusing to watch the ginger step forward. Instead, his eyes remained glued to the underbelly of the X-Wing in front of them. Childishly as it may have come across, Poe wasn’t about to look into the eyes of the man that had brought his most painful memory to the surface so easily.

“The X-Wing you flew yesterday was vastly different than the one you see before you, as I’m sure you already know.” Considering you know everything, was what the Rebel fighter had _wanted_ to continue with. “Unless you labor day and night for hours on end completely deconstructing your Starfighter and building it from the ground up, then I doubt you’ll have to fly what you experienced yesterday.” Considering if the two of them were the last left in battle, he’d rather his own X-Wing go up in flames than ever see Hux behind the steering mechanism once again.

At the other end of the hangar, Rhys and General Organa watched warily, having a couple guards on standby in case fists started flying.

"Customization has a fatal flaw, Dameron," the ginger tried to keep his voice level, eyes trailing over the craft in front of them instead of the man talking to him. He was determined, now, to not lower himself to the petty argumentative behavior of the Rebel. He was better than that and had all last night to dream about it. The pilot had gotten under his skin, and that could have been detrimental, had Hux misspoke. "While it allows for you to optimize your vehicle to your own preferences, it also means that the craft must be in a constant state of updates and upgrades. It is a constantly unfinished project." He stopped his train of thought. We was supposed to be parading around as a student, not lecturing his mentor like a leader.

He risked a glance at the Commander. He was tense, obviously still angry and not cooling down any time soon. He acted differently - the energy and closeness he had with his other students did not carry over to the redhead. That was something that could be seen from a few star systems away. Hux cleared his throat. The General was not a mechanic, nor was he a foot soldier, but strategy and technology were his kingdom.

"For example," he offered, uncertain how the information would be taken. "Your fighter's wings could be slightly adjusted. If you added functional panels to each side that could be raised and lowered at will, you could use aerodynamics to cut quicker and turn sharper without losing power or having to reduce speed."

He turned his attention back to the training X-Wing in front of him, gesturing with a pale hand tracing the wing closest to him. "Here and here. It would be a long process to install the technology, but it would give you more control."

Why the hell was he giving the pilot this information? He suddenly questioned himself. That was actual advice that he offered freely to his enemy. Granted, a better turn radius would not help the Resistance in the long run. Nothing would once the First Order's newest weapon was completed, but it was a matter of principle. A matter of the art of war. Information was not traded freely between sides. Hux mentally kicked himself. Now was not the time to think strategy and outcomes. Now was not the time to give handouts and aid to scum. His charity was nonexistent for the Rebels.

"Forget I said anything," the ginger muttered.

It would have made the entire situation so much easier had that advice not actually been decent. Poe was very certain that Hux came from more than just a simple background. The way he spoke, the way he held himself, and the general air around him screamed something more. Which had the pilot thinking; was the fiery, untamable redhead here for a specific reason? Narrowed eyes finally focused on the profile of the other male; sharp features concealed a stern gaze. Had Leia purposely paired the two of them together? With her thought process of Hux being able to counter Poe’s intelligence, had she known of this man prior to him joining? Of course, that was a bullshit thought. Dameron hated when people adapted to the ‘everyone is out to get me’ way of thinking, so he brushed it away without second thought. It was a chance meeting. One the Rebel Commander was more than anxious to end. He’d have to find a way to stick the sass with someone else.

“I appreciate your information, Pal. But keep it to when it’s absolutely needed, alright?” As he turned his back on Hux, giving him a simple gesture of the hand to dismiss him, Poe frowned. He’d be mulling over those ideas for a while and more than likely attempt a way to execute them. “Hux, wait a minute.” Clearing his throat, he turned back around to face the redhead. “Stay behind after I dismiss the rest of the class. I need to have a chat with you. It’s not a suggestion, either. I suggest you, for once, try and follow an order. I know you’ve got this—“

He decided it best to just drop it. Petty and childish weren’t two adjectives he cared to have associated with his name. Sighing, he glanced away and uttered the two words he would rather drink acid than have to say to this man. “I’m sorry.” His hand lifted, briefly patting Hux’s arm, before stepping away and moving back towards the X-Wing to attach a ladder for climbing.

The last thing that the General wanted right now - conflicted and annoyed with himself as he was at the moment - was to discuss anything with the Rebel. He scowled at the idea. Regardless, he was surprised to hear the apology, and his sneer dropped away. He cringed when his mentor touched him, feeling as if he had been contaminated by some sickness at the pat - as if the Resistance was a contagious plague.

"Yes, Sir," he answered, adding mentally 'I can't wait until I give the order and destroy everything you consider dear.' Instead, he dropped his gaze and mirrored the man's sentiment. "I apologize as well. I was out of line." It wasn't hard to fake a groveling exterior, he saw it often enough in his own men when they cowered before him - the nicknamed 'Ice General'. He watched the Commander finish hooking on the rope steps and decided to take his leave.

He disappeared back into the crowd of recruits, all of them giving him a questioning look. One man - his sleeves ripped off to show his muscles, hair badly styled, and stupidity shining in his eyes - grunted to someone close to him. "Why can't we all have a ginger bitch?" 

The oaf was on the ground before he could see Hux move. Rico's arms secured around the General's chest, pulling him away from the group of goading idiots. The man was on his feet and trying to get in Hux's face as soon as he could orient himself. The brief moment of surprise that ran over his face was satisfying. His already damaged knuckles throbbed, bleeding through the bandages and onto the cuff of his sleeve.

"You wanna go, Punk?" The moronic bag of muscles growled. "Come on, then!"

"Walk away," Rico whispered in his ear. "Walk away, walk away."

The redhead jerked out of his companion's arms, standing tall and daring his opposition to make a move for a few long, tense seconds. He breathed and then, slowly turned his back to the other recruit.

"Yeah, run away, Princess."

Hux drew his shoulders taut. "You should really stop talking."

The commotion caused Poe’s head to jerk behind him, half ascended up the rope ladder. Oh, how tempting it was to sit there and watch the shit get beat out of the cocky redhead. But as the scene progressed, Poe sighed. He heard the guards rushing forward to break up the little powwow before things escalated too far out of control, but the Commander quickly turned and waved them off, wanting to see how things would resolve on their own. His footsteps descending the rope ladder were slow and uncaring. He dropped down the final couple of steps and approached the disruption seemingly without a care in the world. 

As soon as he saw Brock extended both his hands and give a rough shove to the back of Hux’s shoulders, though, he had seen enough. The Rebel fighter sprang into instant action, putting himself between the two before anything further could be done. He pushed Hux back in a cautioning ‘stay out of the way’ shove, then threw a mean right hook, catching an unsuspecting Brock in the jaw. “You think I really want someone that would turn on his own teammate and attack when the other isn’t looking on _MY_ team?! Ey?! Ya done, pendejo! Ya done!!” As Poe’s angered words boomed around him, his more natural accent had finally come out. “You dare attack a comrade who has their fuckin’ back to you?! Ya think that’s bravery? Ya think it shows ya being a badass?! No. It shows a _pansy_ , Brock!” 

Nobody had expected Poe to actually take a swing on the recruit. Hell, he wasn’t expecting it himself; but with all the building turmoil within him, it sort of just…happened. And, man, did it feel good to get that explosive anger out of him. Granted, the fist he had just connected with Brock’s rather strong jaw was the unfortunate one that found itself landing against a wall the previous night. The pain, however, seemed to calm him. The searing throb spreading across his entire hand.

Brock wasn’t entirely sure what to do. His hand had lifted to cradle the newly acquired injury, but thinking he had nothing left to lose, he lunged. Poe was half a second too late to stop him, and the two landed rather painfully on the ground below. With the quite larger male on top, for a moment, all Poe could do was use his arms to shield his face. He had to maneuver his legs around the large form before finally being able to flip them, securing himself on top. 

Rico made sure to stay between Hux and the fight, still nudging the ginger to just leave, to walk away. To leave and come back another day to pick up the strife between he and the Commander. Still, he turned, looking over the brunette’s shoulder as the pilot seemingly defended him. For what?

Yes, it was a pathetic move for the larger man to keep trying to instigate a fight with a man who was walking away, but it wasn’t exactly unheard of. More, Hux could easily take care of himself. It was true that he wasn’t the strongest person in the room, but what he lacked in strength, he made up in speed and cunning. Had he wanted, he could have put Brock on the ground and underground before anyone could stop him.

Perhaps that’s why the only reason he wasn’t back in the fight was the hand on his chest that urged him away.

But this was all an incredible petty situation, wasn’t it? This was an outburst of pent up rage, not an actual defensive maneuver. And that annoyed the General - to see a soldier such as Dameron lose control. He shoved Rico away from him, moving back into the brawl, authority in his every stride.

“Commander! That’s enough!” Hux growled, struggling for a few moments to get a hold of the man’s shoulders before roughly pulling the pilot away and off the larger recruit. “Enough!”

The only decent hit Brock got on the Commander was a knuckle graze against his upper lip. So as Poe stumbled backward from Hux’s pull, he reached up, smearing the blood that dribbled out of the tiny cut. “Te mataré, hijo de puta. Besa mi culo, puto!! Vete a la verga culero!” The colorful Spanish insults rolled so easily from the Commander’s lips as he watched Brock struggle against the other two recruits holding him back. Rhys had rushed forward and had his own strong arms holding Poe back, though the instructor wasn’t making any effort to advance.

“Enough, Poe!! It’s over!” He growled in his closest friend’s ear, giving his smaller torso a quick shake as if to snap him out of it. 

“I’m done!!” The Commander yelled in response, pushing out of Rhys’ grip. “And you!! You’ll NEVER fly as a pilot here!!! You’re FINISHED!!!!” 

Dameron was red in the face as he turned around, shoulder pressed to Rhys' shoulder. His body trembled greatly with the overwhelming anger as he once more brushed the back of his hand against his bloody lip. The portly man wanted to question why he didn’t allow Hux to get beaten to a bloody pulp like he had expected him to the moment the fight had started, but decided he would question his companion at a later time, once emotions were calmed.

The guards stepped forward and made quick work to escort Brock from the premises. Poe had no idea what would become of him, nor did he care. They could lock him in a cell for attacking a Commander, force him to do grunt work, who knew? But the Commander couldn’t muster the courage to turn around and face his squadron after that, so Rhys sighed, dismissing them for the day. 

The First Order Officer watched Brock be led out. The man spit and swore over his shoulder, threatening to join the darkside. How funny it would be if he did, how satisfying it would be to stand in front of the rash soldier in full uniform and wielding his rank. He started to leave with the other recruits before halting his exit. It would be easy to sneak away, now. No one would question why he did, after the ex-recruit had acted out against the ginger and after Dameron retaliated so quickly.

But he was never one to retreat. Ever.

Hux stood far enough away to not intrude on the commanding companions. When Rhys gave him a warning glance, he used a pale hand to dismiss the concern. He would not turn tail, even now. The pilot had ordered him to stay and as much as it irritated to do as he was told by an person of lesser rank, Hux would do so. He waited, silent, until Rhys walked up to him and fixed him with a hard look. He was imposing, when he held himself like that.

"I'm just gonna say this once, Red: do _not_ push him," the Commander hissed in a whisper, no room for argument. "He saved your ass, don't make him regret it or he won't help, again. And I have a feeling that you like picking fights."

"Yes, Sir," Hux answered and was suddenly left alone with the seething pilot. "You wanted to chat, Dameron?"

“Force…” With the fight that had taken place, Poe had nearly forgotten that he had asked Hux to stay behind and talk to him. He certainly was in no mood to have a heart-to-heart, but knew that he couldn’t let this moment slide. There was so much negativity brewing between them. So much anger and, Poe didn’t want to say such an extreme word, but, hatred. “Come on… I need to get this taken care of.”

Though his back was to Hux and knew the ginger couldn’t see him motioning to his lip, he did it anyway. The pilot began walk deeper into the hangar, ignoring the stares of the mechanics and other pilots that still lingered around on his path to one of the refreshers nearby. It was a larger one that could occupy several at once, so Poe wasn’t terribly concerned about being in a tiny cramped space with someone he still wanted to pummel into oblivion. 

Poe wasn’t sure if Hux was even following him or not, nor did he stop to check. If the ginger had made an effort to hang back after he so clearly had a chance to run, then he was sure he would follow. Once inside the refresher, Poe stepped up to one of the mirrors above a sink and looked at his reflection long and hard. The blood on his lip had already clotted, forming a small scab, but he still had to wash off the remaining blood around it. 

“What’s your deal, Kid?” He finally spoke to the redhead, looking up through the reflection at him. “In all seriousness, where’s the attitude come from? Why do you feel such a need to prove yourself?”

There was no anger in his voice, just genuine curiosity as he turned the water on.

"Generally speaking, it probably comes from people to call me 'kid,'" Hux sassed instantly before looking away. He crossed his arms, biting his tongue to keep his snark in line.

The ginger was not a fan of small talk. He was less of a fan of heart to hearts. They could get messy too easily and last forever when between the right, or wrong, depending on the perspective, people. He cleared his throat. He knew the tragedy of his own past and how he had been shaped into a man who was more weapon than human, but he never talked about himself. Never told a soul about the traumatic experiences that he overcame to get where he was, now. And he didn't plan to start with some scruffy pilot who didn't care about being on time or controlling his emotions.

Hux met the pilot's reflection with his own gaze. In the mirror, they looked completely black - pupil merged with iris and blended into one, burning coal. He offered an apologetic look for his snipped reply before shrugging.

He could have made up a grand tale of insecurities and strife for the character he was sent here to play, but, instead he answered vaguely, curious to see how the pilot would react to a cryptic answer that could suggest a magnitude of things.

"Life has a way of roughing people up, if one isn't careful enough or can't let go," he didn't bother to hide his accent anymore. Dameron had probably already picked up on it when Hux ordered the fight to an end, back in the hangar.

There easily could have been so much more to that answer, and Poe frowned at the subtle vagueness. He sighed, bending over to bury his face into his palms that he had cupped water in. The coldness of the water contrasted greatly with the heat his face still held and it made his entire body shiver. Standing straight once more, the now murky water seeped through his fingers as he parted them and looked into the mirror. Water droplets clung to his features, slowly pooling into larger beads before dripping from his face. The hair directly above his eyes reacted to the saturation by forming an even thicker curl that hung in his vision.

“I don’t quite buy that you were simply ‘roughed up’. There’s more to you than meets the eye, that I am sure of.” A darkened gaze locked on the reflection of a deep green, Poe quirking a thick brow in the process. Turning, he briefly lifted his shirt and dabbed at his face, glad to have found the scab remained in place and did not reopen. “You seem to enjoy the spotlight being on you. And you certainly aren’t one afraid of conflict or confrontation. That right there shows that its not just a simple ‘roughing up’.”

"It may very well be more than a simple roughing up, Commander," Hux agreed. "But I'm certain that it's not something that you and I are close enough to discuss."

Leaning back against the sink, Poe adapted to a much more relaxed posture; his legs kicked out before him, one ankle hooking over the other. His arms lifted and he folded them over his chest, studying Hux’s appearance with a wondering eye. “General Organa seems to think there’s much more to you also. I tried to have you transferred to another squadron, believe me, I tried. But she thinks we can seem to benefit from one another. But if that’s the case, we need to figure this out. This…Between us,” he motioned a quick hand between the two of them.

The idea of the Resistance General approving of his influence on the pilot made the ginger chuckle and he turned away from Poe. He didn't like the dark-haired man's attention being on him, didn't like the way those dark eyes roamed over him and picked him apart. He didn't like the idea that Dameron could see his figurative seams, stressed and fraying as the thread came undone.

But that concept - the idea that the woman, Leia Organa herself, thought that Hux and Poe would make a good team and was so sure of her opinion that she refused to transfer him...that was a curious thought. And he filed it away. She had given him almost free reign to push and prod, raised him above the other recruits, and inadvertently handed the undercover General her greatest pilot. Supposedly.

Organa was one of the very few people, of course, that knew Hux had ties to the First Order, though she believed he had defected and spilled secrets and gave classified information about the Order to the rebel scum. She thought he was nothing more than a soldier looking for a cause.

"And stepping away from me," Hux deflected as he glanced over his shoulder to the pilot. "You are not all that meets the eye either." The ginger glanced away and down, unwrapping his injured knuckles to inspect the damage.

Eyes comparable to anthracite trail down from seemingly porcelain features, down the lithe body before finally centering on the glaring red skin surrounding jagged abrasions. With eyebrows knitted, Poe watched as Hux poked and prodded the area, further evaluating the damage he had more than likely inflicted on himself. “Run in with a brick wall?” His words rolled out with minimal amusement, his gaze still cemented on the injury. He was certain that the redhead had not partook in the fight that escalated in the hangar bay, so there was no plausible way his angered knuckles could have resulted from that. Extending his own bruised hand out before him, his eyes bounced from the vast differences, mentally comparing them in his mind.

A tiny, almost unnoticeable smirk began to tug at the corner of his lips, his eyes lightening some in appearance. He had done that to Hux. Maybe not physically, but it now glared obvious that their encounter the night before in the pub had pushed the other male into sending a fist flying into an inanimate object. Oh, that thrilled him far more than it should have. But at the same time, deep within him, the thought pulled at his heartstrings. One day, and both had been reduced to explosive anger. They had gotten under each other’s skin with so much passion that neither one could control it. Perhaps Leia was right. If they were to channel that energy into something better, who knew… They could eventually become the power team of the Resistance.

“As you said earlier, Hux. There is far more beneath the surface than I can only guess you’d never care to know about when it comes to me. But, we are nowhere near friendly enough to even indulge in any of those stories.”

One thing people learned quickly when it came to war was how to pick something that holds dear to an opponent and twist that one thing so vividly that it destroys them without hand was ever lifted. Potentially, Hux could become one of his best comrades, his power person in his squadron. But as it currently stood, he was an opponent, and it would take a great deal of work to change that. So to let him in on any part of his persona would be handing over the keys to his untimely demise. Dramatic as it may be, Poe just wasn’t ready for that. 

The General hummed in response to the pilot's words, more or less ignoring the jab that the man sent his way. He strode to a sink, a few away from where the Commander was leaning, and let the water run over his knuckles. He watched the clear liquid drain pink, washing the scrapes with care before twisting off the faucet and drying his hands on rough paper towels. He made a noise - he might as well be running sandpaper over his hands with how low quality it was. He understood military-grade equipment and bedding and furniture, but he could get better paper towels from the recycling bin in the First Order than this.

"So we're at an impasse," the ginger stated. "I don't want to talk to you, you don't want to talk to me, and your General wants us to be boon companions." He threw away the tissue-like paper and leaned a hip against the sink he was just using, watching Dameron.

This man talked about Organa like he knew her personally. Like he trusted her and was trusted in return. And didn't that just work out perfectly? The highest ranked person in the Resistance just handed over her favorite toy pilot to the General of the First Order in exchange for battle plans that made no difference in the war. He was here for information, that much was true, but also made the perfect distraction -- 'No, no, look over here at where the Order is gathering their armies for an attack on the Republic. Don't look at the giant planet destroyer, don't pay attention to all the research the Order is doing on sun-harnessing.'

She had made an appearance today, too. She was showing her hand, showing how much she cared about the cocky Commander and how much she cared about them either getting along or fighting each other tooth and nail. Hux was more than willing to use that against everyone here. After all, if she cared so much, it was likely that she close enough to have told Poe everything about the war. Perfect. He could use that.

"So what do we do, now, Sir?" The General questioned. "Call a truce and see how long it lasts before we're back at each other's throats? Place bets on who will break it first?"

The last thing the Commander wanted to establish was a truce between them, but if he were to follow Leia’s orders and play nice, it seemed to be the only reasonable thing to do. Though… Placing wagers on who would be the first to crack and lash out on the other _did_ seem rather enjoyable. So much so, that it had the Rebel fighter smirking at the thought. But no… That would just imply that they would never be able to work through their differences and settle things maturely. So Poe sighed and allowed his smirk to fade away.

“I…” After inhaling a deep breath through his nostrils, Poe forced the words to form and adhere to one another in his mind then forced them to reach his lips with as much sincerity as he could muster. “Apologize. I apologize for singling you out on the first day. I apologize for saying anything less than favorable about you.” Ah, there’s the professionalism Poe knew himself to have. The more he spoke, the more natural and fluid his words became. “I apologize for treating you any differently, and I apologize if I made you feel as though you were anything less than welcomed here.”

There. That wasn’t so hard. His eyes shut briefly, heavy lids concealing the dark orbs behind, before they reopened and he extended his hand as a peace offering. “Truce?” Even if he was attempting to clear the air between them and hopefully dull down that fiery distaste towards one another, there was still a lingering feeling of uncertainty he held towards the ginger. Something still didn’t seem right, but that emotion would be worked through at a later time. For now, he needed a level of understanding between them. For his sake. And for Leia’s command.

The outstretched hand became Hux's focus. Eyes looking at it as though it somehow had offended him by even existing. Of course he didn't want to have a truce. He wanted to destroy and conquer and, more than anything, he wanted to leave. He wanted to be back in charge of the Finalizer. He wanted to be back working on classified projects with Supreme Leader Snoke that would end not just the war, but even the slightest whisper of rebellion or resistance to the reign of the First Order.

The aforementioned Supreme Leader would also do more than break and destroy him if this mission was a failure. He had already started on the wrong foot. As annoying as he was, Dameron might be the key to getting the information of the supposed map. But a cautious treaty with the pilot meant that he would have to be even more careful. He would have to traverse around him like the General was on thin ice.

In many ways, he already was.

"Apology accepted, _Sir_ ," the redhead couldn't keep the sardonic tone from his voice as he reached out and took the man's hand. "Truce. For now, at least."

Hux pulled his hand away as soon as he had given it to Dameron and pulled his sleeve tightly over his fingers, shielding the broken skin in a makeshift bandage until he could return to his room. He started to move around Poe before he stopped, genuine curiously guiding his words.

"Why do you hide your accent? It came out in the fight. Which I suppose I should thank you for, but, honestly, I could have handled it." The General knew why his own was being hidden - he was undercover, needed to fit in not draw attention to himself and risk exploitation.

The question was the last thing he was expecting the ginger to retort with and it had him frowning slightly. His brow knitted together, he mulled over his response for a moment. “Perhaps the same reason you try to conceal yours.” He had caught a hint of the British twinge to the redhead’s voice before, but even through the rush of the fight, he heard it booming in full force. “Too many questions are asked if I let the full hit of it come out. For the most part, I conceal it well enough. But, as you saw…” He shrugged, keeping his eyes fixated on the male before him. “When my emotions get the best of me, sometimes it just… Happens. Accents, I’ve found, tend to lead a path to your past. Certain dialects can pinpoint exactly where you are from. And when it comes to war, that is not information you want readily available.”

Poe very rarely ever spoke Spanish on top of that. His accent did have ways of coming into play when he least expected it, but he was far more advanced at concealing the other language. Only in moments of passion, severe frustration, or boiling anger did he allow the other part of him, the hidden part, come out. Once, he had a lover who also spoke Spanish and in the privacy of their shared quarters, they would indulge the other and speak it freely. Once. And that part of him was the part he never wanted to visit again. That was the time he opened himself up far too much and had endured indescribable amounts of pain. The part Hux so quickly threw him back into the previous night.

Just the simple memory of that time in his past brought a visible shiver to his body and he quickly looked away, his lips once more tugging down into an all-too-familiar frown. 

"Accents can also designate a time long lost," Hux added. "A past which one does not want to remember." He paused. "I do not hide my accent because people ask questions, Dameron. I hide my accent because I don't like people making assumptions about me."

Well, he hid his accent, here, to keep people's eyes off of him. He wanted to blend in, while undercover. However, when he stood in front of his men, his accent was just another extension of his persona. It set him apart, but also made people believe there was nothing else to him but the militant aristocrat who knew how to speak and crumble civilizations. And he was fine with that. He didn't mind coming across as cold and two dimensional. Let people think what they would, so long as they feared him and followed his orders unquestionably.

Hux watched as a small drop of crimson welled up on the pilot's lips as he frowned. He turned his gaze away, back to the mirror beside him. He ran a hand through his red locks, and frowned, himself. Brock's taunt to him still rang in his ears. Ginger bitch. If he hadn't been held back, he would have done more than land one punch. If he had his blaster, the ex-recruit would be dead. If he was aboard the Finalizer, the idiot would have become Kylo Ren's new chew toy.

"We are not so alike and not so different. I give our truce until tomorrow at midday before we break it," the General snarked. "And I think we both know we'd defect before working as a long-term team." Just from two different sides of the war, he didn't add.


	6. Are You a Dancer?

“Good to know how much confidence you have in us.” Any simple movement of his lips had a pain shooting down his chin. Even the most basic vowel shape sparked a sudden burst of pain. A dribble of warmth caused his tongue to dart out and a bitter iron tinge coated the tip. “Shit…” Turning back around, Poe instantly saw in his reflection the cut had reopened; it would certainly be a nuisance for the next few days. A constant reminder of a failed recruit. No, a reminder of him stepping up and standing up for a man he simply could not stand. And Hux’s recent declaration of their inability to hold the truce only further cemented his dislike towards him.

“Look, I’m willing to make an effort on this. Even if you’re not. This is about the bigger picture; not just petty playground dislike towards one another. I pissed you off, you pissed me off. Big deal. We’re both adults, I’m assuming? I know I am. You, I can’t be too sure.” His dark eyes flicked to the side, watching from the corners for a brief moment, studying him. Then he cut the faucet back on and cupped a palm full, bringing the cold water up and meeting halfway by bending over. Water cascaded from his palm after it touched his mouth, some of it tinted pink as it fell back into the sink.

With a sigh, he stood straight and reached for a paper towel, deciding to just dab at it rather than rub the entire area raw. The blood had to clot, form a new scab. But he didn’t want one big enough that would just open up once more at the simplest movement of his mouth. “Vete al infierno,” he grumbled under his breath, Brock’s face flashing through his mind. The Rebel fighter truly hoped Brock was sentenced to the lowest grunt work imaginable. A bad attitude like that simply wasn’t needed around there. Like a bad fuse just ready to blow.

A slight shiver ran down Hux's spine and he crossed his arms, feigning a chill. He mentally kicked himself - 'Stop. Control. Head down.' He dropped his gaze away from his reflection, glaring at the sink before turning around and pacing away the mirror. He stood, silent, one hip slightly cocked in a stance that he would never allow himself be positioned in on the Finalizer.

He needed the information. Needed the pilot to get to that. It shouldn't be as hard as it was to just swallow his disdain for the Resistance and fake a friendship, but his pride was standing before him in full First Order uniform. "Mac galla," he cursed the last few days and the place in which he found himself under his breath. He was stuck, now, between failure and success - accepting the offer of unsteady peace or continuing to push and prod into action. Reluctantly, the ginger closed his eyes, still facing away from the Commander and stated, "Put ice on it when you’re back in your quarters. It will slow the bleeding and keep the swelling to a minimum. That will help your lip. Your inner conflicts that came out when you tried to beat that spineless ingrate into the ground...well, ice probably won't do much for that."

The ginger braced himself before sliding his eyes open and fixing a new expression on his face. He softened his features, tension dropping out of him completely as he imagined it draining into the floor and vanishing. The General turned back toward Dameron, head tilted slightly and a teasing smile on his face. His eyes were alight with mischief and his crossed arms dropped so he could slip his hands into his pockets. Vulnerable, pseudo-open, and approachable. He gave a shrug.

"I will /try/ to uphold our truce, Commander. It will, of course, be tempting to break it, seeing as I've bested you so much in just two days," He added a chuckle to take the edge off the words and let his lilting accent completely reveal itself to the dark-haired man. "But nevertheless, I will try. I apologize, too, for going out of my way to rile you up. It was unprofessional."

Ahh, there it was. Poe was seriously wondering when Hux would offer up his own apology into the mix; better late than never, he supposed. “What was that?” Eyes widened, Poe replayed the two words that came from the recruit’s mouth. Two very, very foreign words. A language he was quite unfamiliar with. “Before you went all Dr. Ginger on me. Thanks, by the way, but please, enlighten me.” As he turned to face the other male once more, Poe leaned back against the sink, both hands behind him and gripping the edge. He adapted to a relaxed appearance once more, finding it very intriguing that Hux was able to speak a different language. Granted, he could have easily misunderstood him as he spoke something differently. Or maybe Hux just grumbled something incoherently. Cleared his throat.

Regardless, just the simple thought that someone else could speak another language intrigued him. Even if it was this comrade of his that he was steadily growing to dislike more and more and more as time passed by. He didn’t want to think of them sharing something else in common; even if it wasn’t the same language that they speak. Arms folded over a broad chest as Poe awaited the other male’s response. Languages were a big turn on for him and he didn’t need anything softening him up to the guy. No matter what the outcome, even if Poe did begin to gain some respect for him, fact remained that Poe, himself, was on the red head’s shit list. There was just too much negative right off the bat for anything good to ever spawn between them, Poe was certain of it. 

"What was what?" Hux questioned, at first thinking that the pilot was mocking him about the overly formal apology he offered. He replayed his words, before he went 'Dr. Ginger'? Before he talked about--oh. The ginger shrugged again. The Commander seemed much more relaxed, now, but the conversation was losing purpose and getting dangerously close to being small, idle chatter. It was a waste of breath and time. Though, the General supposed, he had more time than he knew what to do with on the Rebel base. Why not indulge someone he would soon never see again?

"Mac galla?" He clarified, then translated. "Son of a bitch." He chuckled, finding it funny for the first introduction made between Dameron and the language was a curse. He had met many people across the galaxy who spoke many different languages, but his mother's language was unmatched and unknown by everyone he had ever met. "It's an old language, extremely rare. I only know of one group of people who actually know it. I suppose I'm a dying breed in more ways than one." He gestured to his fiery hair. "The last generation."

Not only was Poe utterly entranced at learning of a whole new, rare language, but he was also insanely giddy that the first words he heard in aforementioned language were swears. “Mac galla…” He muttered to himself under his breath before an actual genuine smile spread wide across of his lips, “I’ll have to remember that one!” With a soft chuckle, he thought for a moment; did he want things to mellow out with this male? Here they were, standing in the middle of a refresher, more than likely with Rhys pressed against the door on the other side listening, discussing languages. All he had wanted originally was a simple, ‘I’m sorry, you’re sorry, ta.’ And that’s it. Not for an actual conversation to develop between them.

“Hijo de puta,” he offered with a smirk. Standing straight for a brief moment, he crossed opposite legs and settled back against the sink, falling into a comfortable, more natural stance. “Same as your...What was it...mac galla? Though, my mind automatically defaults to one particular swear. 'Pendejo.' Not quite sure I should tell you what it means, considering I’ve used it towards you quite a few times,” he chuckled, shaking his head, “my apologies by the way. But, basically, jackass. First swear word I ever said. Four years old. My father was working on a droid that we had that malfunctioned. Shocked himself. Not more than three seconds after it came from his mouth, guess who repeated it. Got my ass nearly beat for it.”

When he realized how deep into his memory bank he was going, Poe’s expression almost instantly sobered. That was a memory he would normally save for a good friend or someone he felt comfortable around. So why did it feel so comfortable telling it to Hux? “Sorry, you probably don’t care one bit.” His apology came with a saddened sigh and he stood straight once more. “Look, I don’t mean to keep you. If you’ve got some place you need to be, no need to humor me by staying. You’re welcome to go.”

"No, I want to know," the ginger stated before he could filter his own words. Why did he say that? Swapping childhood stories was not exactly critical to the mission. But, for some reason, the Resistance pilot was easy to talk to - perhaps it was because he so easily talked. Or perhaps because his expressions were so genuine and readable. Or maybe it was just the aura around the man. He was charismatic, certainly. Magnetic. Hux would not deny that the Commander knew how to work a room and draw people toward him. He was a social butterfly and that trait, apparently, stretched to when he was standing in refreshers with undercover officers of opposing forces.

"Besides," the General fell back onto his teasing and sassing to push the conversation away from where he now stood and pondered the pilot. Making friendships with his enemies was certainly an awful idea, regardless of whether they met again in person or not. "Do you really think there's any pressing matters for me? My mentor let the entire squad of recruits off early because he picked a fight with a, how did you say it, pendejo?" He shrugged and glanced away. "I'm not humoring anyone, Sir. You should know by now that I'm not one to shy away from speaking his mind. If I wanted to leave, I would have."

That should not have comforted him in the slightest. But to know Hux didn’t jump at the opportunity to abandon him brought his smile back just a smidgen, even if he attempted to conceal it. “In my defense, technically, I didn’t pick the fight. I simply…butted in to _your_ fight.” His words were laced with sarcasm at his expense and he grinned, lifting his shoulders briefly before chuckling. “And yes. Pendejo. Very, very classic example of what that word stands for. One thing you’ll learn about me, Pilot, is I do not do well with cowards. Had he been brave, he would have forced you to face him. I didn’t think you weak, or that you needed to be saved. Truthfully, that kind of shit pisses me off. Plain and simple. If he was so willing to attack a comrade whose defenses were down, who knows what kind of person he would become in the heat of the battle.”

So now not only did they stand there and talk about old family heritage, stories of childhood memories, but now Poe bashed a fellow fighter. Regardless of if what he said was utterly true, no questions asked, he should have just bit his tongue and kept it to himself. “Ah sh...Sorry, I...Mierda…” Pinching the bridge of his nose, the Rebel Commander hesitated for a moment, “I’m rambling now. It’s...It’s been a long few days, I’m sure you can tell.” Poe felt entirely comfortable around Hux at the moment. His posture proved that, his word vomit proved that. But his expression held confusion. Why? It felt like he was talking to Rhys. Like nothing was off limits. Lifting his gaze to Hux’s features, he smiled. Maybe Leia’s hunch was right after all…

"I'm rather used to people rambling and talking my ear off," Hux waved the apology of with a dismissive hand. It was odd to be so laid back and even amicable to the pilot, but it was a nice change of pace from having no one to talk to at all. Of course he had peers and other officers, but the closest thing he had to friends were Captain Phasma and Kylo Ren. Neither of those were healthy options. He looked around the room they were in.

As much as he had started to not mind the pilot's presence, the location of their bonding was pulling the scowl back onto his face. "Not to sound any more snobbish than you already think I am," the ginger began his request. "Do you mind if we move this talk away from the lovely smell of toiletries, cheap soap, and something else I'm not willing to ponder? Preferably somewhere with comfortable seating that doesn't remind me of bad life decisions?" Hux smirked, purposefully choosing words that made him sound prudish and overly haughty. "What should I call you? Do you prefer to be addressed by rank or name?"

The suggestion was actually a damn good one and giving a quick glance around their location, Poe smirked. No matter how much headway he thought he was getting the with red head, that snobbish, ‘better than thou’ attitude just reminded him of his dislike towards the male. But he decided not to dwell on it and just give the man the benefit of the doubt; they were, after all, conversing freely in the refresher.

“You now know of my first beating and first swear word. I think we’ve surpassed official titles or ranks.” Stepping forward, he led the way from the room, smirking as the door slid open and Rhys quickly stumbled back.

“Oh, I was, just had to…” But the knowing look of his friend made him roll his eyes and brush past Hux on his way in.

“And in all fairness, I don’t think you can ever make yourself sound any more snobbish. No offense or anything, but I mean. Come on.” Poe chuckled, waiting until Hux had stepped up towards his side, the two of them now walking beside one another. “If you’re used to people talking your ear off, is it because you’re never given the chance to talk? From what I saw yesterday, you certainly have no problem with speech. By all means, I’m all ears. Talk away. I won’t stop you.”

A little inside look into this man wouldn’t hurt. If he’s to open up and become friendly with him, the more he knew, the better. 

"It's less of a forced silence and more of a willful vigil," Hux stated simply as he moved with the pilot. At his real post, he rarely spoke outside of giving orders, only voiced the necessary and kept his mouth shut other than that. He found no need to connect to other people. More, he couldn't stand stupidity, so his options were highly limited. "I give speeches often, but I don't talk about myself."

Wasn't it Dameron who had told Rico that getting involved with others was a danger? That was the harsh reality of war. Everyone against you was an enemy. Everyone with you was a liability. The safest option was to keep to yourself. Never open up, never face loss. Rather, never face grief over loss. Lives being extinguished was something that was unavoidable.

Still, the Commander obviously wanted a shared story in return. Hux flickered through his memories, trying to find one that was either happy or unrevealing. He shivered slightly and put some space between his mentor and him. The pilot was not the only one with a past he didn't want to dip into.

"I was never..." Hux started and stopped. He backtracked and started again, differently. "My mother used to take me stargazing. That's how I was introduced to her language. She would tell me the stories in her old tongue and then teach me bit by bit to understand it." The ginger met eyes with a recruit who seemed confused to see him walking with Dameron and not fighting with him. "Some of my fondest memories are laying out on a beach or on our balcony and listening to her."

Listening to Hux recite his tale of his mother had Poe smiling fondly. A part of him ached for lost time with his own mother, always feeling as though she was taken from him far too early. But at the same time, another part of him felt extremely guilty because he was glad he didn’t grow a deeper bond with her over the course of time, which would have made it far more difficult to lose her. But he, too, remembered stargazing with his mother, laying in the crook of her arm with his head resting on her shoulder. Both pointing up at the twinkling lights dotting the inky evening sky. Watching as clouds drifted over the moon and giggling over what images it resembled.

“Times seemed far more simpler then, did they not?” The Rebel pilot chuckled sadly, stepping through the opening leading into a lounge. There were only a few others residing in there, though no one paid them any mind as they entered. Off to the opposite side of where the others were sat a few chairs and a loveseat. Poe took a seat in one of the chairs and rested his foot on the opposite thigh. “You know, I was never sheltered from the fighting. Both my parents, as you heard earlier, were very much involved from the get go. Damn. I even promised my father I would one day rule the entire universe,” the dark eyed male laughed as he rubbed at his brow, giving his head a shake. “But even then, I never could have fathomed that things would have turned out the way they did.”

The Rebel’s mind instantly switched gears, bringing his thoughts to the First Order. To everyone who ever thought they were more superior, deserved more, attempted to own more… “Wonder what their thought patterns are. Just…about anything,” he muttered aloud as his thought more about. “What makes them tick. Not even on an opposing side. I’d give nearly anything for an opportunity just to sit down with one of them and chat. About anything. Just to see what makes them so much more different than us.” But he gazed up at his recruit with a quirked brow and laughed. “Stupid thought. Believe me, I get it. But still…Can you just imagine?”

Hux was warily looking around the lounge as the rebel spoke, barely listening to the other man as he perched on one side of the couch, sitting catercorner to the pilot. He looked down at the end table that separated them, green eyes tracing the worn lines and cup-circles that were stained into the top of it. He hummed when Dameron started to talk about the First Order and turned his attention away from the ruined tabletop and to his mentor. The man's dark eyes were practically ablaze with his curiosity about the thought process of the General's own side.

"I don't have to imagine," he stated, mind checking out at the most inopportune moment. He quickly backtracked, trying to play off his slip up and make the statement flow into a misdirection. "I've talked to a few of them in my life."

'Smooth. Brilliant. Well done, Hux,' the ginger thought to himself. 'Keep the attention on you and the conversation on your armies. That's the perfect way to stay undercover. Why don't you continue with 'by the way, did you know that the Order is building a massive weapon called Starkiller?' I'm sure that will keep you completely off the Resistance's radar. Idiot.'

"I mean," the General could feel a slight heat rise in his cheeks the more he tried to back his way out of the situation and continued to step on his own toes. "My family is aristocratic. High society. You meet a lot of people at galas and balls - both good hearted people and...less savory folk." He glanced away, trying to will the blush of anger and embarrassment toward himself away. Stop it. Play shy. He was already blushing, he'd just pass it off for being shy about his upbringing and maybe the Commander would buy his act and half-truths. "They are," Hux coughed. "They are an interesting bunch."

The heat that surfaced to Hux's cheeks was downright endearing. It gave the other male an almost adorable appearance and Poe found that, whether he would ever admit it to himself or not, he actually liked it. The sight had the pilot's lips curving up into a soft, appreciative smile and he had to force his darkened eyes to glance away. He had been told in the past by previous lovers that when he felt at ease, or enticed by something, his regularly charcoal stained eyes turned into a lighter shade; a vast difference. And the smile cemented to his lips surely would have reflected obviously in his gaze.

Clearing his throat, he decided it best to not dwell on such matters, not wanting to feel softened up to his comrade. Admiration was the first step down a slippery slope, after all. "You were raised in galas? And balls?" The thought of being a young child forced to endure that sort of torture had Poe feeling sorry for the pilot-recruit. His parents never forced him to go to any of those gatherings, and he is eternally grateful for it.

Hux turned back to the pilot with a small smile and a shrug. “Both my mother and father were well known aristocrats. And both came from old money. So, we were constantly invited to events. It became routine.” He glanced away again as he sat further back on the couch and stretched his legs out, crossing them at the ankle.

Another thought came to mind that had Poe quirking a curious brow. "Can you dance?" The chance of finding another trained with a background of dancing was rather rare. Poe was never one for the slower ball dances, but a dancer is a dancer, regardless. His favorite would forever remain the tango. Salsa being a close second. He knew how to do the more formal, slower dances, but was utterly enchanted by the passion and fire behind the other two dances. "Being around such events, I'm sure you're at least somewhat familiar with dancing." Of course, he could be making a vast assumption, but curiosity got the best of him.

The ginger was not certain what the look in the other man’s eyes meant, but it was unsettling to have someone stare at him with anything other than fear or respect. People knew better on the Finalizer than to keep eye contact with him. They learned – one way or another – to bow their heads and avert their eyes to stay away from his icy wrath. Admittedly, it was nice to finally talk to someone that wasn’t stuttering and tripping over their words. It wasn’t something he would want to happen often, but it _had_ been a long time since he last held a conversation with anyone.

“I can dance, yes,” The General finally answered. He not only had the ability to dance, but he greatly enjoyed it. He loved to spend time stepping to a beat, swaying as one with another person, and letting the music swirl around them and keep the partners closer. Dance was expressive and passionate and unifying. It was intimate and enticing – a tangle of limbs and turns and motion that swirled together to create a thing of beauty.

Hux didn’t try to hide the light that flickered into his eyes, turning them more silver than green, or the softness of his expression. “It’s one of my favorite things to do. Dance, I mean.” He adored the romantic connectivity of the waltz most of all, but could not deny the beauty of the fiery passion found in a tango or the almost militaristic motions of the Pasa Doble “I rarely have a chance, anymore. But I love it.”

So the Commander and the recruit had a lot more in common than Poe ever would have anticipated. And it made his insides twist around itself. His smile faltered and he dropped his gaze as he pondered how he would respond. Of course, he could easily admit to his love of the dance as well and let their conversation spiral towards that. Or he could just avoid it altogether as a selfish attempt to keep himself distanced from the ginger. But deep inside, he was excited. Someone else shared his passion, and as rare of a moment that was, a part of him wanted to show his excitement.

"Doubt the dancing nowadays is anything like you're used to, huh?" The Rebel fighter decided to joke lightly instead, not drawing any attention to his own passion for it. Nowadays, the dancing seemed senseless and overrated. He rarely allowed himself to indulge when they had their dances. In fact, he rarely went to the dances. Instead, he would find solace in the pub, thankful a large majority of the regulars were otherwise occupied.

In fact, Poe found himself becoming more and more withdrawn from a lot of the activities that took place on base. They weren't frequent, which made it seem all the more concerning that Poe would find reasons for himself not to go. He had been finding much more enjoyment by sticking to himself. Relaxing in his quarters, trailing the woods surrounding the buildings and discovering new things. Truthfully, Poe found more comfort deep in the trees, lately, than with a group of people.

Hux rolled his eyes as he thought about what was now designated as ‘dancing’. Grinding and obscene humping motions in public were not dance. They were the sex-fueled motions of desperate men and women who had grown tired of their own hands at night. Perhaps that was harsh, but to even place those rhythmic undulations of bodies into the same category with the finesse of a salsa or the complex kicks of a quickstep was insulting.

Force, the ginger sounded snobby even in his own head.

“What dancing? The art is dying nowadays,” He responded to the jest. “No, I’m used to ballroom and styles like that – foxtrot, salsa, waltz, tango. Though I’ve also been to places that praise the Pasa Doble and contemporary dance.” He shrugged. “Am I to assume that you don’t idolize the newest version of dance, either?”

Did the pilot dance? That would be a surprise to the General. He didn’t meet many people who enjoyed dance, let alone knew how to do it. He had gone out of his way while on his ship to teach a few officers, as well as Captain Phasma, the basic steps of a few styles, if only to give him a reason to step into that musical partnership for a few brief moments. “Are you a dancer, Dameron?”


	7. Adrian Rodriguez

Damn…

“No.” The answer came out gruffly, accompanied by a huff and flared nostrils. He didn’t want to open up that part of him to Hux. He didn’t want to allow the other to know any more about him than he already willingly gave up. Why had he even suggested they meet up after the other recruits were dismissed? A simple ‘ey, apologies’ could have easily sufficed! But no. He defended Hux. Prevented him from getting booted from the program as well as Brock. Willingly passed over memories of his that he didn’t _ever_ give up to recruits. And now this?

“Not any more, at least. Maybe in the past. But…That part of me is gone. It died a long time ago.”

Way to sound bitter, Dameron. The look on his face matched the sour tone to his words. Oh, he loved to dance. Given the right partner, he’d probably consider dancing once more. He hadn’t, not since… Shivering at the overwhelming memories now plaguing his mind, Poe glanced away, giving himself a minute to recompose himself.

“Dancing these days is.. Nothing more than pathetically gross. It’s an excuse for idiots to grind against one another. The last party we had here, this girl, this barmaid, she thought it was perfectly acceptable to just walk on over, turn around, and press herself against me, I mean,” laughing softly, Poe shook his head, “ahh, it was…disgusting. There’s no class. No self-respect anymore. So, no. I don’t dance anymore.”

The sudden change in mood jolted the General out of the happy daze he was in - the daydream that he could have a normal conversation about something that interested both parties involved. It hurt, though he'd never admit it, that the pilot was willing to ask him questions, but seemed to close off all communication if the same was asked back. Hux cleared his throat, straightening his position and bringing his legs closer to the couch. Of course they couldn't get along forever. They were enemies and, sooner or later, they would both be certain of that.

It was obviously time to say goodbye and part ways. Better to go deal with whatever each had to do that evening and restart their relationship of student and teacher in the morning, but on a better, less challenging note. The ginger had overstayed his welcome, and like a good dinner guest he would take his--

"What made you stop dancing?" Hux questioned before he could be polite and excuse himself. He dropped his gaze. "Never mind. You have your reasons, and by the looks of it, they're still fresh on your mind. No need to tell a recruit you just met if you still haven't come to terms with it yourself. I understand the sentiment, intimately." He paused. "Sorry. Over-observation. Most of that was supposed to stay in my head."

He should leave, right? He glanced at the Commander, at the fire in his eyes at the way his body was positioned. Yes. Yeah. He should leave. Hux slid forward in his seat to perch on the edge of the cushion. "Good talk. I should go before I completely trample on our truce and have us back to fighting."

“It…” Shut up, Dameron. Don’t give in. Don’t mind the fact that you’ve been aching for someone to talk to, someone that actually shows interest and is willing to listen. Ignore that you’ve hidden your passion for dancing for so long now, that you nearly forgot about it yourself. No, forget all of that. And just shut yourself off to everyone and everything. Be the hardened shell of your former self that you’re slowly turning into. No one will care. Do it. “You’re right. I haven’t come to terms with it yet…”

Sighing heavily, the pilot slumped down in his chair, feeling his mood completely shattered now. It wasn’t meant to be like this. Truly and honestly. Whatever this little bond he was forming with Hux…it wasn’t supposed to be. Not with the man who was so quick to one-up him in front of all of the other recruits. Not the man who can easily out sass him in a heartbeat.

He made no mention to Hux speaking of leaving. He focused, instead, primarily on that burning ache building deep within him to finally have someone to talk to. But if he got desperate enough, Rhys would listen. Halfway. To an extent. For a little while. Poe often felt like he was annoying someone when he tried to speak passionately about anything. The subtle eye rolls others would do, or that tiny, almost unnoticeable huff of boredom; oh, he quickly picked up on all of it. Though, he hadn’t noticed it coming from Hux, yet.

The ginger was unsure what to do. The military man - the one that was undercover and spying - wanted to leave for he had already gotten too close to the enemy. The man behind the mask of militant behavior was curious about the pilot, for this Commander was not all that he seemed to be - he was a mystery that needed to be solved. The true self behind all those smoke and mirrors - all the deflections and misdirection - wanted to know that Poe was alright. The small, withered shred of humanity within Hux felt for the man who he seemed to have much in common with.

Perhaps the best explanation was that Poe Dameron was what General Hux _could_ have been, had things been different. Maybe that was what this fascination was: kindred spirits who, by the forces surrounding them, walked two very mirrored, but different, paths. Both shaped by some tragedy. Both hardened by experience. Both devoted to the war. Both fighting for what they deemed was right and willing to give anything for it. Both untrusting and unsure, but willing to put up a front of security and confidence to banish outsider's concern for them.

He should leave.

But he couldn't.

Hux reached out slowly to the man who reflected him too much and rested a hand against the rebel's knee - a reassurance, an understanding, an acceptance. He waited for dark eyes to meet his own before he stated in determination and nervous urgency for the pilot to recognize that he was not alone. "The sentiment, Poe, is completely understood."

The touch alone would have sufficed enough to ease the pilot’s ache. But the deepened connection their eyes had and the words of understanding had his heart clenching. Though saddened greatly, his lips once more pinched up into a smile. His hand outstretched and rested on Hux’s, giving it a gentle squeeze of thanks, even if he didn’t voice the words out loud. Such sentiment was behind Hux’s voice, it was eerily calming, and Poe was deeply grateful for it.

“Can we go somewhere else to talk?” Suddenly, being around others, even if there were only a few on the opposite end of the room, just wasn’t cutting it for the Commander. If he was going to allow himself to remove a few bricks of the wall he had built up around himself, he damn sure was going to make certain there was only one person around that he would grant access to. Just a simple peek through one or two broken bricks. That’s all.

Without waiting for an answer, the Rebel fighter stood, the hand on his knee falling away. He stepped around the furniture, keeping his head low as he made his way back towards the door. As soon as it slid open, he stepped out and to the side, waiting with baited breath to see if Hux would follow. If the red head had decided not to, he made a vow that he wouldn’t hold it against him. 

Hux wasn't entirely sure if his goal was to keep the conversation going or to just tell the pilot that he was accepted, but as Dameron stood and made a quick exit, the ginger forced himself to pause before automatically following him. He took a breath. This wasn't about the mission anymore. He could only lie to himself for so long before he was aggravated by his own excuses. He had offered support because whatever the rebel wasn't saying struck a cord deep within the General. He had hit a note that was so sorrowful that Hux's own melancholy song played back to him.

He never got close to people. Never opened himself up - not anymore. He built up his walls not to keep people out, but to see if anyone cared enough to get in and they didn't. People didn't care about his own past, his own abu--experiences. They only cared that he did his job and did it well. He liked to think himself a king, but he knew he was more like a rook - still a powerful piece, but easily toppled and replaced. He stood slowly and walked toward the door. It was time to go. It was time to recollect himself and to re-frost. He needed to get back in his own mind and out of Dameron's because this was dangerous.

But was the pilot not a key target? Did that not make him part of the mission?

No, he told himself. That was another excuse.

When he stepped into the hallway, Dameron looked defeated. He looked that the wind had been taken out from under his wings and he was in a spiraling freefall with no way left to fly. Hux took a breath. This was a mistake. This was going to get him into trouble. This was going to get him _caught_.

But he saw too much of himself in the pilot, and, so, he spoke his own death toll, "Where are we going?"

Poe couldn’t speak; he felt as though he were in a trance, or paralyzed by the moment. Whatever it may be, he took to the halls wordlessly. His dark eyes refused to lift from the floor, his mind putting him into autopilot. Turn after turn, he wound them deeper into the base, through one corridor, into the next. The crowd began to thin out, the halls expanding into a far more military appearance. A few guards stood sporadically at this point, signifying without words or actions that not just anyone could enter these premises.

At the far end of a corridor, sectioned off in the corner, at a door a great distance from the others, Poe stopped. He lifted his hand, pressing his fingertips to a blank pad that quickly beeped to life. Colors danced across the small touch screen and the pilot drew in a pattern for his password. With two quick beeps, the pad flashed green and he waited for the doors to his private quarters to slide open.

As soon as they did, he stepped in and a few lights kicked on. His place wasn’t anything grand, but he made it his own. Over the years, he had collected quite the few items while visiting all the different planets and made a conscious effort to display them aesthetically pleasing to the eye around his place. Nothing stood out vibrantly, but it was enough to make it his home; even if it was nothing compared to the home he used to have. In the end, these were but simple barracks. His status in the Resistance allowed him privacy, and Poe made sure to take full advantage of that.

“Uh, so yeah… Just, uh. Make yourself at home,” he shrugged, motioning at the loveseat and recliner chair he had in the small, makeshift living room. Stepping into the even smaller kitchenette, he dug around in a cooling compartment and produced two non-alcoholic beverages; to get drunk, or even slightly tipsy at this point would only prove more chaotic and destructive than good. Poe took a moment to mentally freak out on himself for leading Hux back to his quarters before stepping back out to pass over the drink.

To say that Hux was riled up and screaming on the inside was a complete understatement. Their long walk, the guards posting around this area, the private chambers. All of this was a recipe for disaster. He was so far in the proverbial deep waters that he couldn't even dream of touching the bottom. Why had he not listened to reason? Why had he agreed to go with the pilot? Why did he care? Wasn't he supposed to be cold and ruthless? Wasn't he the Ice General? Didn't he want this planet, these people, to either bow before him or to be erased from existence? Not just wiped out. Not just killed. He wanted to make sure that they never existed in the first place. He wanted to make it so that the stars themselves would not bear witness to their lives.

The ginger took the drink with a small smile, taking a sip before making a noise between a scoff and a laugh. "Ginger ale. How fitting." He glanced over at the loveseat, then the recliner. This wasn't good. This wasn't meant to happen. He made his way to the end of the small couch - as far away from the chair as possible - and took a seat, letting Dameron dictate how close they were going to be. Was that another metaphor? Probably. He'd think about it later when he wasn't desperately trying to find a way to not be suspicious and still care and not care and open up himself all at the same time.

One thing was certain - this wasn't going to work. He could either open up, or he could be inconspicuous. He could either be undercover, or he could care. If he got close to the pilot, he would find himself arrested and thrown into the cells, here, awaiting interrogation. If he left, he would sever the ties he had with the first person in _years_ that he felt any kind of connection to. He could either be himself or be alone. He could be captured or he could be free.

He wanted a third option. Wanted his thinking to be a fallacy of the false alternative, but there was no third choice. This was it - black or white, dark or light, enemies or friends. He could either be here or there. He could either help or hurt. In every instance, he could only do one.

Hux looked up at Poe from where he sat. "Going to join me or just stand and continue to creepily stare at me from across the room?"

“I’m still not entirely sure what's going on.” Lifting his hand that is no longer holding one of the glasses, Poe rubbed nervously at the back of his neck. “Ah, mierda…” He finally sighed, figuring there was no turning back at this point. Taking nearly half the drink in one gulp, the pilot finally stepped into the living room and set his drink down on a small coffee table. He stepped over Hux’s legs, careful not to kick him, even on accident, and approached a bookshelf that was easily overloaded with items. An upside down picture frame resided on the very top shelf and Poe reached up to grab it.

As he flipped it over, a soft, nearly dreamy smile overtook his features. His free hand brushed away the dust that had accumulated on the frame as he studied the picture. Himself, tightly wrapped up in another male’s long arms. Both smiling with award winning smiles. Happiness evident in both their expressions. A time lost too soon, most certainly.

Looking over the frame, he spotted Hux and that smile quickly faded. “Here.” Was all he muttered as he passed over the picture, then dropped down into the recliner with a deep blush. He wasn’t going to explain any more than he absolutely had to, but Hux wanted to know. The taller male had asked what it was that Poe lost. He asked why Poe had quit dancing. The answer was simple, and it was all right there in that small, fading picture. 

The ginger studied the faces he saw smiling back at him and he frowned. He looked at Dameron, a slight tilt to his head before he drew his gaze back to the picture. Who was the tall, lean man that was wrapped up in the pilot's arms? The man's smile was blinding - so full of life and joy and some deeper connection to the younger version of the Commander. The picture was worn, and there was a crack at the top of the glass, as if it had been thrown. The man's smile was reflected on Poe's face. They were so close to one another. There had been a thick dust on the image when the pilot first turned it over. There was so much warmth and life and joy in the photo. The frame was upside down.

Hux suddenly dropped it onto the table like he had been burned. His green eyes flickered and focused on anything other than the picture and the man who had become his reluctant companion. He shook his head. He hated seeing ghosts from the past. Hated feeling like lives could transcend their own time and linger in the present. Hated when memories took shape and became nightmares. His left wrist itched under his sleeve. Images of bruises on pale skin flitted across his mind. Sensations of phantom pain and unyielding pressure pushed down on him, lit up his skin in a way that only the living past could do.

"Who was he?" The General grit out. He needed to get out of his own head. This wasn't safe. "Who was the man with you?" His wrist itched more, almost burned. "What happened to him?"

The pilot was expecting questions, that much was a given; he didn’t expect to randomly pass over a picture and not have the other curious as to the true nature of it. What Poe _wasn’t_ expecting, however, was how difficult it would be to _answer_ the questions. And he didn’t think Hux would seem so deeply intrigued by it. As he lifted his gaze to finally look at the other male once more, he saw a flash of emotion in the alluring green eyes. An emotion he wasn’t familiar with. One he had yet to see on the recruit in the couple of days now that he’s been around him.

“You asked me what I lost,” Poe finally was able to answer with great reluctance. “It was him.” His line of sight dropped onto the table where the picture was residing, catching the image of Adrian smiling up at him. “You asked me why I quit dancing.” A soft sigh escaped from Poe’s mouth as he reached out, flipping the picture upside down once again, unable to look at Adrian’s smiling face any longer. “It was because of him.”

Almost every aspect of Poe’s life changed the day Adrian died. That fiery passion behind his eye disappeared, his desire to do much of anything drifted away. He even found he couldn’t bring himself to get into an X-Wing for nearly two months afterwards; his once favorite thing to do in life, now a big fear of his. He knew he had put too much of himself in Adrian… Knew it the first time they made love instead of just raunchy sex. Knew it when he slid that engagement ring down Adrian’s slender finger. But what he didn’t know was exactly how much of himself he had lost the moment Adrian left him. How much he has yet to get back.

Hux's eyes caught the movement of the frame being flipped over and suddenly that was all he could focus on. He shook his head. He knew what he heard, comprehended every word spoken, but he couldn't...he didn't want to accept it. Didn't want to look at that picture and see a version of Dameron that was so different than the one before him now because that meant he had been so dramatically changed by one person...one man who was there and then gone.

The ginger made a low whining sound as he shot into a stand and walked away from the couch and the picture and the Commander and the phantom memories that swam around in the air between them. No. He would not do this. He would not open up again. Especially to someone he should hate. He wasn't going to connect to someone he would inevitably meet on the battle field. He would not jeopardize the entire mission because this man reminded him so much of himself, had they both lived different lives.

"What...was his name? What was he to you?" The General scratched at his arm through the loose sleeve. 

He was chosen to go on this journey because he wasn't supposed to be human. He was supposed to be robotic, unmoving. He was supposed to be untouchable. He was supposed to be unwavering. His walls were supposed to be too high up for people to even _try_ and get in, but Dameron was coming very close to scaling them. He could feel the man climbing up them, could feel the toes of his shoes digging into the stone and brick, could feel his hands finding cracks to hold and inadvertently making them larger, deeper. Hux kept his back to the pilot.

The way Hux was reacting had Poe a bit alarmed and he glanced over his shoulder, watching him with baited breath. For a moment, he assumed the other male was about to make a run for it. About to abandon him to wallow in self-pity like he so deserved. So when the questions continued, he was taken aback quite a bit. “Oh…” Settling more comfortably in his seat, the pilot rubbed at his forehead, feeling the onslaught of a migraine forming. He sighed, wondering just how deeply he wanted to get into discussion with his new companion. Not at all, to tell the truth, but he had allowed himself to open up this much.

“Adrian Rodriguez.” The name sounded so foreign coming from his mouth after all this time. He could remember nights spend in his lover’s arms, laughing over the thought of them getting married. Poe Rodriguez. Adrian Dameron. It took them about a week to finally decide on the idea of Poe taking his last name. Though he hated to let the Dameron name die out, taking Rodriguez as his own made Adrian happier than can be. So it was a no brainer after that.

What was he to Poe..? That had the pilot’s heart thumping like mad. His blood ran cold and he swallowed hard. “Wh-What was he to me..?” Everything. Simply put. “He, uh… W-We..” His voice cracked so he paused for a moment, allowing himself time to regather his wits. “My fiancé.” Hux would probably understand that more than if he were to simply say ‘everything’. “We… We were together for quite a while.” Years, in fact. Many years. The longest he had ever been with anyone before. 

The ginger felt his heart stop, felt the absence of a beat, a pulse. He felt his world shift for a moment before he shook his head and forced his vision to balance out again. 'Stop it! Stop having so much in common with me! Stop being so similar! Stop making me feel like I could tell you your own story by telling you parts of mine!' Hux wanted to scream at the pilot.

"Adrian Rodriguez..." He repeated the name that Dameron spoke, as if that would give it life again. As if that would make all this better. As if 'Adrian Rodriguez' could somehow replace 'Marcus Abati' in his own mind and everything would be wiped clean. As if a name of a ghost had any meaning to the living that never knew it existed before this point in time. Hux rubbed his hands over his face. 'Come back, he's not here, come back to yourself,' he thought.

"I'm...sorry...for your loss," he grit out each word as he tried to stop the world from spinning. He didn't like to be out of control, didn't like that he could _feel_ everything. The past was the past, so why couldn't he let it go? Why did the pilot's sorrow resonate and harmonize so well with his own? He wanted to run away and hide. Wanted to recollect himself and harden his defenses, again. Instead, the General spoke again. "How did...How did he...What happened?"

“I-I can’t….” Poe was certain at this point that he wouldn’t even be able to recite the tale of losing Adrian to anyone, even if his life had depended on it. It was just too much of a painful moment to revisit verbally; bad enough that his sleeping, exhausted mind would sometimes force him to go back to the moment he discovered his world had come crashing down, quite literally, and was gone. Many nights afterwards, he would wake up to himself screaming, sweating bullets, then lose himself into a fit of sobs.

Sitting on the edge of the seat, Poe hunched over all the way, as much as he could, and clasped his hands behind his neck. It was a way he was taught years ago to counteract a growing panic attack. About the only thing that proved to work when his emotions started to get the best of him. The pilot let out a trembling breath after a moment, his eyes shutting in pure shame.

“Ask anybody that’s been on the base long enough, they’ll know… I just, I can’t… N-Not right now….” Another trembling breath left Poe’s dried lips as an embarrassed hue tinted his cheeks. “Ask Rhys, he could tell you...”

For nearly the first month after Poe had lost his fiancé, Rhys took it upon himself to move into the other pilot’s quarters. If it wasn’t for him, none of Adrian’s stuff would have ever been packed up. Poe wasn’t even entirely sure he would still be around if it wasn’t for that man. But he would never admit that to anyone. No matter what. Not too long after Rhys had returned to his own living quarters, Poe decided he couldn’t stay in that home anymore. Not alone, not without Adrian. So he moved to the one he currently resides in. One much smaller. Much more equipped for just one single male. 

Hux heard the tremble in each breath and he shuddered. He knew that feeling - Damn it! He knew it too well - and how it was to not be able to speak or draw a breath. He scratched his arm again and forced his own panic to calm down, forced his own ghosts to stop whispering to him, forced his own mind to stop asking questions about what he should do or could do because he already knew what he _would_ do.

"Breathe, Poe," he murmured, keeping the quiver out of his voice as best he could. "Breathe in." He paused for a few moments. "Breathe out. Again. Breathe in." This was stupid. This was wrong. This was going to get him caught. "Breathe out." He shouldn't care, couldn't let himself get to close, had already done too much. "Breathe in." He needed to get out. Needed to remember the point of him being here. "Breathe out. One more time." He was standing on crumbling cement. "Breathe in." He had already made his decision. Already dug his own grave and rang the bell. "Breathe out." The pilot was too much like him, yet so different, too. Cut from the same cloth and then sewed into different ragdolls.

Before he could really figure out what was going on, Poe had found himself breathing in rhythm to Hux’s instructions. There was no fear, no anger, and no embarrassment as he listened to the soothing tone of the other male’s voice. Following his lead was rather easy as well, which had Poe questioning why this man had settled for the position of a fighter pilot and not aimed for something much more in depth and honorable in a leader’s position. When he realized his breathing had calmed and mellowed, his mind drifting onto the other subject, he let out a terribly long sigh.

The redhead finally turned back to his mentor - this fucking pilot that had somehow scaled his walls and now stood atop them, waiting to overtake Hux completely. This man that had hair like messy ink drops and skin like parchment. Whose eyes told a story of sorrow and pain without ever needing a quill to write a word.

"I won't ask, unless you want to tell," green eyes tracked each breathe - each rise and fall. "I know...I understand...everything. This is your tale to tell. No one else." The General sighed and slowly moved closer to the other man, resting a pale hand on a shaking shoulder. "I know what it's like to not want to talk about the past, for fear that it will bring the pain to the present."

The warmth of the comforting hand brought a sense of calm washing over the pilot. His body still trembled some, but it had significantly calmed down. Hux had been so amazingly understanding. And so… Where was the sass? The snarky remarks and the ‘better than you’ attitude? Poe almost wished for that man he had met back on the tarmac. It made it so much easier to stay unattached and blissfully numb to it all. But now, with this. With the ginger caring and making a conscious effort to help his aches and woes…?

“Thanks, Hux.” Poe’s words were spoken with deep sincerity. His voice still wavered and had a bit of a crack to it, but it was much more reminiscent of his normal tone. As he slowly began to sit straight, he kept his gaze lifted and locked on Hux’s deep green eyes. “I, uh… I..I’m sorry, I...” What could he possibly say to that? They were supposed to hate each other, not _get_ each other! Not understand the deep sorrows the other had once felt! Poe felt more of his wall crumbing away; an entire portion now lay shattered at their figurative feet.

He fought so hard for the words to speak, sensing Hux had needed some comfort as well. But as his mind pulled him in several different directions, he allowed silence to fall between them as he lifted his hand and covered Hux’s with it. Much like he had earlier with the pale hand residing on his knee.

“Look, I know I’m not exactly your best friend. And I get it, I do. I was… For lack of a better word, a dick to you. But, um.. My door is always open if you need someone to talk to.” 

"Your door at the end of a labyrinth of hallways and behind about three heavily guarded areas? I'll keep that in mind," the ginger retorted, trying to bring back anything that resembled the banter and sarcasm they had once showered one another in. But why try? This man was already inside his head. He had jumped the defenses and now stood knocking at Hux's mental door. The General, meanwhile, was still hiding under proverbial blankets and hoping the stranger would go away.

His pale thumb had started to rub itself back and forth over the pilot's shoulder absently in gentle motions that didn't even register to it's owner. He swallowed, the knocking growing louder. "I...It's a long story." He stated, mental-self peaking out from under the covers and staring at the door. "And not a pretty one." He glanced away from Dameron, breaking away from near-black eyes and intense emotion. Green eyes flickered to the arm that was still at his own side, then focused on some random place on the floor.

Now wasn't the time. Perhaps never would be the time. But definitely not now.

The hand that covered the ginger's was almost too warm and he tightened his grip on the Commander's shoulder before relaxing the hold again, resisting the urge to both pull away and press closer. He needed someone to hold him up at times, it was true. Like when he was alone in his quarters aboard the Finalizer, listening to his own mind replay scenes and screams until an angry Force-user banged on the actual, physical door to his room and yelled at him to shut his head up.

"It's a very long story."


	8. Summer and Winter

‘Long story’, when it came to Poe at least, almost always meant, ‘don’t want to discuss it’, so he wasn’t going to push. Hux had been nothing but understanding and caring about Poe not opening up any further, so he wasn’t going to be the asshole to force him into speaking. So instead, he resorted back to what he knew best. At least lately, that is. “I’m sure if you convinced them hard enough, the guards will believe you’re worthy enough to waltz back here on your own.” Sarcasm. But even as he looked up at Hux, he winked. It just did not seem right to be upset with this man any longer.

Whatever happened between them in front of the others, that wasn’t them. Not as they currently were. It was some part inside of them that needed to make a point - some part that desired to be bold and stand out. Poe almost couldn't even recall what alerted him to Hux’s presence in the first place. It was a feeling of distrust and resentment. But for what? Had Poe just taken the time to get to know him in the first place...

“I was so hungover…” Oh, great apology. The Rebel commander sighed. “I know that doesn’t excuse how I treated you. And I know we already got our kum by yahs out and made the truce. But, there you go. I had no reason to single you out like that, other than the fact that I was pissed off to begin with.”

Did that properly clear the air between them? Probably not. Did Poe _want_ to clear the air between them for good? He wasn’t sure. Yes and no. Yes, because he felt he finally connected with someone like he had been aching to do for a long while. And no, because he finally connected with someone; something he’s been dreading for a long while. Connections ultimately meant heartache when it boiled down to it. Nothing was permanent. That’s all he was sure of. 

"Well, from what Rico seemed to suggest of your talk to him, I'm rather good at flirting my way into people's lives," a red eyebrow arched as Hux spoke, his gaze flickered back to the pilot and then away again. The knocking at his mental door continued and he swallowed. "But, I'm surprised, Dameron. A hungover Commander on the first day of training? How unprofessional." His tone was teasing, trying to push the conversation in a different direction.

Did that damn recruit not know how to keep his mouth shut? “Should’ve known he’d go crying to you the second I spoke to him. For the record, I accused him of being the flirt.” The pilot wanted to keep a strict tone of jest to his voice, but with the way his cheeks were heating up, a red hue surely staining them, he worried his voice held more worry to it.

Everything the ginger did, no matter how innocent or consoling, just kept going back to a darker square one in his mind. Back to a different picture with two different smiles and two different faces. That image gave way very quickly - blurring around the edges until only one of the two was smiling and the arm that held the other wasn't quite as innocent as it was before. It was a vicious cycle. It always started somewhere else. Always spiraled out of control and then came back to the start.

The General pulled away - the metaphorical door cracking open- and Poe felt a pang of remorse when the warm hand pulled away from his shoulder. It was like a comforting anchor keeping him from diving headfirst into the deep end, and as Hux walked away, he had to hold back a whimpered little sound. ‘Keep cool, Dameron,’ he scolded himself, clearing his throat to rid himself of that needy sound. The ginger slipped back over to the couch, sitting closer to the Commander, now. His eyes landed on the upside-down picture frame that resided on the table in front of him. He reached for it again, pulling it back toward himself and looking at the image. Pale fingers traced over the lines that made up Adrian, gently outlined the photograph like he could somehow feel the life and bring the man back. He tilted his head, his breathing slowing as he falls into a state of almost-trance before he blinks and lowers the frame so that it rested in his lap.

"I wish I could have met him," Hux murmured. "Wish I had something to say that could make the hurt go away, but that's a silly thought." He finally met Poe's eyes for a fleeting moment. "I wish I could return the favor and tell you everything."

As Hux studied the frame, the dark-haired man felt his heart beginning to race like mad. Adrian’s ghost would always be there until he found some way to accept what had happened and move on. But honestly, the pilot had never once considered trying to move on. He’d rather hold onto whatever pathetic glimmer of Adrian still remained, even if it was anguish eating away at his insides and turning his heart into crumbled cement.

“There is no favor to return, Hux…” Poe offered him softly as he stood and sat beside him on the sofa. He reached for the picture frame with nimble fingers and moved it back to the coffee table, keeping the image face down. “I’ve basically given you a poorly summarized abridged version of one chapter…”

Sitting this close to the other male, Poe’s lifted gaze studied the much clearer details on his profile. The bright red hairs shaped over his brow line, some a blond so light they were barely noticeable. There was some stubble, a 5 o’clock shadow trying to appear, perhaps. The shape of his nose wasn’t smooth lines and perfect curvature; a sign that it had been broken at least once in his life. There was just the tiniest little bump, just there. Poe’s eyes slowly drifted down it, admiring the rounded appearance of the male’s lips. But what caught his attention the most was the jade orbs glancing away from him. It reminded him of a planet he had been to, once, that was just coming out of the deep throes of winter. White blanketed the entire area, but some spots began to melt away. And beneath the slush resided a perfect green blade of grass. New life. Hope that the winter harshness was melting away and Spring was around the corner. A resemblance that could bring that hope for warmth to anything, and finding himself gazing deep into the depths of it, Poe saw that hope.

The pilot radiated heat and warmth and, contrastingly, reminded the ginger of a summer day. Ah, and that was a metaphor he was willing to ponder now that the picture was taken away from him. Poe Dameron was a man of extremes - he was either completely ignited and sweltering, or he was gentle and warm, much like the degrees of the sun. Like summer, he was also steady, perhaps not in his moods, but in everything else. When he locked onto something, he was unrelenting. More, and positive, now, he was also very open and bright - he drew people to him and his charm, when he wanted it to be. There was a sadness that lingered on him, much like leaves dying on a tree as autumn neared, but he hid it under sunshine and clear skies. The man was blistering - able to peel away layers of defenses to see inside a person and, once there, he warmed everything he touched.

"But you gave me a summary nonetheless," Hux retorted, and reached over, turning the picture face up before casting his gaze to Dameron. "I know what ghosts feel like. I hear my own when it gets too quiet. And I think about how things were and how they could have been. I constantly argue with myself, flipping and debating between thinking that there was something I could have done...and nothing that would have changed the outcome."

He leaned slightly against the curly haired man. Taking in warmth and in return giving back cool calmness. He debated with himself, even now. "There is so much blame when something goes wrong. So much doubt and self-hatred. So much...reflection about what makes up a life and what makes life worth living." He shrugged. "And that never goes away. Not really."

The General stopped himself from talking, biting down on his bottom lip in an attempt to keep his own thoughts to himself. To keep the man beside him from seeing through his shattered armor - broken and bashed again and again, held together by willpower and used tape. He was coming dangerously close to opening up a part of his own memory that he dared not touch. A part that he had never discussed with anyone. And that, honestly, terrified him more than anything.

“The worst thing you can ever do to yourself is ponder on what could have been. Believe me, I’m the biggest culprit when it comes to that. It turns you into a statue of your former self.” His eyes never once strayed away from Hux’s face, even as the other male settled more against him. Out of habit, though, his arm lifted and draped across the back of the small loveseat, his fingertips lightly brushing against Hux’s shoulder. His gaze slowly dropped to watch the way the red head’s mouth sucked in his bottom lip. To see the white teeth clamping down on pink lips, causing the immediate area to darken some.

“Have you ever tried to face those ghosts in the silence?” The pilot asked with genuine curiosity, his voice elevated in pitch some. “Other than going over all the possible different outcomes of whatever happened.” He assumed Hux had a lover, like he had. One that meant everything to him. If bringing up Adrian got the recruit’s icy exterior to begin to melt away, then Poe could only assume there was a similar past behind him.

And the thought made his heart stutter. Just another reason why Poe was thankful he forced himself to make that truce. The more he got to know of this male, the more he realized how much they had in common. Even if it was nothing positive; ghosts of the same nature, trauma of a lost lover, whatever. It would be nice to have someone to tackle all of that with. Someone that understood the pain behind it all.

Absentmindedly, Poe’s fingers began to brush against the ends of red hair, lightly twisting the locks around his fingernail. It was a comfort to him. Something he usually did when deep in thought, upset, or just in need of a little more contact. He didn’t realize he had started doing it, or he would have quickly jerked his hand back. The gentle touch at the back of his head both calmed and startled Hux. He wasn't used to softness or any kind of contact that didn't have a motive or a dark edge. He fought down the urge to tense or to jerk away - but just barely. He bit his lip harder for a moment before he let it go, running his tongue over the stinging area before finally attempting to answer Dameron's question.

The simple response was 'yes.' The complicated response was 'in a way.' The truth was a resounding 'no, please, help.' He had fought and screamed and grappled with everything that happened to him, and he always came up empty. He always just felt worse, because there had to have been something he missed. There had to have been a way out. There had to have been something he did or did not do that had made what happened possible and ongoing and...

It always went back to being his fault.

"I never..." He cut himself off, pausing and starting again. "I don't have to face them in my silence. I faced them directly in their own bodies. It is not the dead that haunts me, but the living." Hux stopped. They had come this far, hadn't they? What was the use of cryptic words and half-answers. "My ghosts come in the shape of my father and...and the shape of my ex-fiance." His smile carried no mirth. No joy.

Ah… So there _was_ an ex-lover involved. But the way Hux was carrying himself as he confessed about his father and ex-fiancé didn’t bring an ache to Poe’s ache that sang about lost love. No, he was quick to catch on to the darkness that stretched the unhappy lips into a smile. Something had gone wrong, seriously wrong. And as much as Poe wanted to pry into Hux’s mind to dig deeper and deeper, he knew it wasn’t his place to force any information out of him.

“Your father and _ex_ -fiancé?” What could have possibly happened in the past that led to such bitterness etching the male’s face when speaking of them? Were they First Order affiliates that were unhappy with him joining the Resistance? Being his parents were Aristocrats, was Hux’s ex-fiancé one, too? All of them unhappy that the redhead decided to branch out and seek a life for himself?

The more the pilot contemplated it, the deeper the furrow of his brow became. His fingers never ceased toying with the soft red hair, but, instead, grew a little bit bolder. As his finger twisted, he collected more than just a few strands around his fingernail; he had a decent lock winding around his entire knuckle. But even so, he had no idea that he was even doing it. Now, it seemed to be a subconscious effort to comfort the both of him, not just himself.

“Are they unhappy that you signed up to fight with us?” Curiosity finally got the best of Dameron, so he asked the question softly. Showing he was fully intrigued and willing to listen, but maintaining a tone friendly enough to show Hux genuine care. 

The ginger almost laughed at the question, almost broke down completely at the innocence that laced it. Had he actually joined the Resistance when he graduated the Academy, his father would have disowned him completely - and he's not sure if that would have been such of a bad thing so much as it was just a statement of fact. But Hux could never see himself, here. Not in this ragtag group of soldiers that desperately held onto the belief that they could make any kind of difference in the long run. Yes, they won their battles, but this war was too mighty for the thrown-together group, with their makeshift weapons and hand-me-down fighter planes, to ever dream of a victorious outcome.

No, his own past was not as simple as breaking away from his family or going against his lover's wishes. Ex-lover. 'Ex' was important. He's gone now. Well, more, he's no longer directly influencing Hux's life.

"That is...a loaded question, Dameron," he answered instead. Cautious, again, as his mind cleared, thanks to the simple touch in his hair that did not demand anything in return. "I am not...unhappy that I chose to fight. The war has become my home." His head tipped back slightly against the pilot's hand as the General tried to find the best way to explain, while not outright admitting that his loyalties were not what the man believed.

There was a spark of sadness that came from that thought, and the redhead was more than slightly shocked by it. No. Stop it. He was getting in too deep. He needed to harden his heart, to freeze over. But as much as he tried to go back to biting winter and unyielding cold, summer rays kept melting him.

"My father was an asshole," he stated firmly. "My...my ex...he...my father was an asshole," he whispered.

Something just wasn’t all there with Hux’s response. Sure, he had answered the question Poe had asked him, but it feel oddly incomplete. The last statement more so than anything. The redhead was prepared to speak of his ex, but quickly and almost nervously resorted back to the topic of his father. “I get it, fathers are assholes sometimes.”

He wasn’t dismissing the other male’s statement as a simple ‘it happens, get over it’, but he was trying to understand _his_ version of it. Was Hux’s father stern? Overprotective? Overbearing? There was just too vast of a grouping of the word ‘asshole’. Plenty of times, Poe had thought the same of his own father, and the two of them had an otherwise amazing relationship. But fathers just had this way of getting under their children’s skin. Was that what Hux had meant by asshole? He was dying to know, but didn’t quite know how to approach the topic without sounding too nosy or pushy.

“And… Your ex..?” The shorter man's words trailed off with that one. Poe wanted the other male to know he could talk to him if he needed to, but he fully understood that some ghosts needed to remain unseen and not thought of. A large part of the pilot got the feeling that Hux _wanted_ to open up to him to some extent, but was either afraid or unsure how to. “I’m guessing he was an asshole too..?”

Hux grabbed his own wrist, pulling it protectively against his chest in a way that made him curl forward slightly and out of the reach of the hand that was once playing with his hair. How was he supposed to even start talking about how, no, Marcus was not an asshole – he was so much more than that. He was unredeemable. He was despicable. He was cruel. He was manipulative. He was…he was…

And his father…Where does he start there? The beatings or the verbal degradation? The ginger did not know gentle touches and smiling photographs. He did not know vulnerability without having it taken advantage of. He did not know warmth without a burn. How does he look at the pilot, who had lost his love, and tell him about his past of loveless loss?

Stop. Freeze. Harden. Collect. Control. Calm.

He wasn’t supposed to break. Wasn’t supposed to be weak. Wasn’t supposed to need anyone. Because all of that was dangerous and he was already feeling the thin ice beneath him cracking and turning to slush.

More – voicing the events of his past meant that he could no longer pretend that they had simply been the dark fantasy of an unstable mind. It would be real and that would mean…that would mean he would have to face it.

“Feuch nach cuir sibh mo dhèanamh,” Hux mumbled, both to his own mind and to the pilot beside him. “Chan eil iarraidh. Eil sibh ag iarraidh fios a bhith againn.”

A heavy frown began to weigh down the corners of Poe’s lips once he heard those foreign words being muttered with such defeat. The way Hux had pulled away from him alerted Poe to how close and personal he was getting with the other male, so he swiftly sat back, giving the redhead some obviously much needed space. “I-I’m sorry, I…” It bothered him that Hux had said something in a way he could not understand him. Was it a confession? A declaration of hate or uncomfortableness? He would never know.

Leaning forward, the pilot rested his forearms on his knees and sighed. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. Don’t feel pressured into telling me anything. Ever. At any point. When you’re ready to talk, if you ever get to that point, just know that I am here. One of the worst feelings there is...is feeling like you have no one in your corner rooting for you. Shit can get pretty lonely around here. Just…”

With a sigh, Poe shrugged his shoulders. At this point, he just felt like he was repeating his words over and over. He could say them a million times, but they didn’t mean anything to anyone unless Hux actually believed him. And simply repeating them wouldn’t do anything to get the redhead to accept what he was offering him.

As he turned his head to the side to glace a wary look to his companion, the Commander noticed the way Hux was cradling his arm. He noticed earlier, as well, that he seemed to favor that part of his body. His brow furrowed, he began to reach out, lightly brushing his fingers against the sleeve. “Are you injured? Your arm, you’re holding it like you are. Can I see?” If Hux needed medical attention, he wasn’t going to allow his selfish need for company keep him from seeking the appropriate care. 

Hux immediately stiffened as the pilot's fingers brushed over his arm. He jerked back and away, standing quickly. "Tha mi duilich. Tha mi duilich," he whispered, trembling. His mind was still stuck somewhere between the past and the present. His body left carelessly too open. He took cautious steps backward.

He was too close. He needed to be closer. He needed to run. He needed to stay. He needed support. He needed to be alone. He needed to--

'General!' A gravelly voice, muffled by distance, and aged and hardened as the creature who it belonged to, shot through his head. It ripped into his mind like blaster fire and he flinched back before turning and bolting out of the pilot's quarters. 'You are trying my patience! I demand a report! Tonight!'

Snoke's presence left him as he walked, eyes to the ground, through winding halls and mostly empty corridors. He picked up the pieces of his mental wall, now shattered and splintered. He imagined a deep frost - a blizzard that was so thick and torrential that no one could see through the white to anything inside of it. Little by little, his back straightened again and his smirk re-adorned his lips. By the time he was back in his shared room, he was quipping and snarking at everyone around him.

He sat on his own bed, Rico plopping down beside him, as they joked about the happenings of the day and the ginger made jokes about the long time he spent with the dark-haired Commander.

***

“Hux!!”

The redhead was out the door before Poe could even process what was going on. He jumped up and began to follow after, but as he stepped out of his quarters, he hesitated and just watched the other male briskly walk away. That right there, watching his retreating form, was a giant slap to the face. It was an iced clench squeezing at his heart. A heavy weight dropping onto his lungs, knocking the breath out of him.

He opened up to him. Perhaps not fully, but he told him things he never should have. Showed him things - Adrian. The picture.

“Erggh!! You’re a damn fool, Dameron!!!”

A heavy palm slammed into the corridor wall before Poe swiftly turned and stormed his way inside. He was livid. Anxiety coursed through his veins and pumped heavily into every bit of his body. Trembled hands gripped at his hair, tugging hard enough to pull some strands out. His breathing was so hard, his nostrils flared.

But as darkened eyes glanced to the picture, he felt resentment. What a fucking idiot. Bringing some stranger back, showing him a stupid picture of a dead guy he once loved. He probably looked like a raging lunatic. And the words he said to him… The comfort he offered him.

The pilot could only imagine Hux back in the recruit’s quarters, laughing at his expense. Telling them, especially _Rico_ about Adrian. About his past, his heartache. Laughing with them as they mocked his patheticness and his undoubting new status as a damn loser. Hux. The man just sat with, trying to make feel better. Oh, how quickly that changed.

He was reminded too painfully _why_ he disliked the recruit in the first place. All that anger began to resurface. All that resentment they had talked through. Glancing down, he noticed the cup Hux had been drinking out of, and, suddenly, Poe slapped it so hard off the table that it shattered against his wall, staining it with the drink. It was like the glass was now filled with poison.

Poe felt like a complete and utter fool. This was exactly why he didn’t allow anyone to get close to him. He gave Hux valuable information he could easily use against him. Maybe that’s why Hux couldn’t speak of his own past. Because there was none. It was a complete act built up in the ginger’s mind to earn sympathy from Poe. To get him to talk more. And that’s why, when Poe switched the conversation to him, prodded more and offered him a shoulder to cry on, he left without any explanation.

Pacing around his small living space, the Commander tried to simmer down the boiling anger inside him. He had made a decision. Something he had to do in the morning before meeting with the recruits. It was the only thing he could think of to help him deal with Hux again. The thought had him beginning to calm down to an extent. At least enough for him to find sleep as the night wore on.

***

Back with the other recruits, Hux had changed into sleep-ware and was lying across his bed, his brunette shadow still perched on his mattress as if he was a gargoyle, sculpted to keep watch over the ginger as he slept. The General chuckled at the romanticized thought. He waited for the majority of his roommates to fall asleep before he sat up.

"What's up, man?" Rico murmured from his place.

"Nothing. Just gonna take a walk. Clear my head a bit before heading to bed," Hux turned so his feet could plant themselves on the ground. He rolled his shoulders and stood, the other man following in suit. "Can I help you?"

"Nah, I just thought that if you were heading out, I should probably vacate the premises. You got a mean right hook. I ain't gettin' on the end of that," the brunette shoved the General's shoulder. "Did Dameron really just want to ask you about Brock?"

Hux nodded. "You know, liability and conflict reports. Regardless of whether that oaf is thrown out or he's transferred, there's paperwork involved."

"I'd hate to be the guy who all the reports go to," Rico whistled.

"That would be the General," the ginger stated simply and turned to take his leave.

He wandered around the base for a long time before sneaking outside into the quiet of the night and the forest that he saw while he was in flight. He made his way into the thick woods, stepping quietly as he ducked and weaved and made sure that he wasn't followed or in any kind of visual range. Once he felt safe, or at least confident, he pulled out a small communicator and raised the microphone.

"General Hux, Mission Report One, Operation Number 51218," he rattled off progress and various facts. Dictating his future plans and his experiences - conveniently leaving out the majority of the past few hours. "Over and out." He finished and made his careful way back into the base, glancing up at the night sky forlornly before ducking back inside and slipping under the scratchy covers of his not-so military grade bed.

He stared at the wall and felt cold. Distant. Alone. Like the starlight that twinkled just above their heads. He curled in on himself and silently wished for warmth, for sunlight, for rays of tender touches and un-pressuring words. He knew that he had lost the right to ask for that - to dream of that - before he ever closed his eyes and fell into a fitful sleep.


	9. A Break

Sleep found the pilot rather easily, but it wasn’t a very restful one. Much like what had happened in the past, Poe found himself awakening to the sound of his own screaming. Then seconds later, sobs. He cried until there was not another single tear left in his body and his throat felt raw. But even then sleep did not find him, again. After forcing himself to get up and workout, he showered, feeling much more refreshed. Then, he dressed and took to the corridors with determined steps.

The sun, at this point, hadn’t even considered beginning to rise, so the base was eerily quiet, other than those who worked during the night and slept the day away. Even as he approached the General’s office, he knew she wouldn’t be in there, but that little fact didn’t stop him. He helped himself in and took a seat in one of the chairs to begin the long wait for her appearance.

Just as he suspected, he startled her greatly. To the point where she pulled a blaster on him. But once her nerves settled and she scolded him for giving her such a fright so early in the wee hours of the morning, she sat down and allowed him to speak from his heart. He wasn’t necessarily asking to completely hand over his recruits for good. Just that he…needed a break. The Commander, with great shame, admitted he wasn’t entirely in the proper mindset. He knew he wasn’t able to give the recruits the proper training that they deserved.

“Day one, I was late…and hungover. I challenged Hu--a recruit. Day two, well, you saw what happened…”

Leia listened to him without saying a word, allowing him to plead his case, though she had already known the answer she was going to give him. “One of our contacts have secured a hefty bundle of supplies. I need someone I can trust to go retrieve it.”

Poe nearly jumped at the opportunity. Not only would it give him the desperately needed time to himself, but he would get to put one of his biggest loves to use; flying. He’d be lightyears away from Hux and the other recruits. It was a win-win situation. So he thought.

By the time Poe finally made it out onto the tarmac, he was accompanied by Leia and was decked out, head to toe, in full flight gear. Rhys saw them approaching and cut them off halfway; it wasn’t the attire one would use while simply training the other pilots. Their words didn’t reach the group waiting for Poe’s arrival, but the look of disappointment flashing across Rhys face surely did. Poe pulled him in briefly for a one armed hug, then continued to walk towards the tarmac, not even bothering to look up at his team as he passed.

Leia followed behind, but stopped when she reached the group, being the one to have to break the news to them that Rhys would be taking over their lessons for the time being. 

Jade eyes tracked Dameron's hasty retreat to his custom X-Wing from the group of trainees. Hux turned his attention to General Organa, who delivered swift and vague information of their Commander's sudden mission. Her brown eyes never left him, as if her entire speech was being given to the ginger and not a group of recruits. Rhys stepped up afterward, energetic and practically bouncing. He gestured for the students to follow him.

"Hux," Organa's voice rang out just as the undercover General started to walk away. "Stay back for a moment."

'How many Rebels am I going to have to be scolded by before everyone just leaves me alone?' he thought as everyone moved around him and trailed after their substitute. He watched as their true mentor's ship shot away from the base and into the almost cliche, cloudy day.

"I'm not going to shake my finger at you, I just want to talk," the woman stated at his silence. "I will never understand how you were brave enough to break away from the First Order, but I'm grateful to have you here."

Hux's attention snapped to her, taking in each detail he could file away. Warm brown eyes held a flame of defiance and a hard edge that came from years of being at war and having to call hard decisions. Wrinkles around her eyes from smiling. A hard line to her lips from demanding respect and giving orders. An openness to her that made her feel as though she was everyone's mother as well as everyone's boss. She did not dress in uniform - simple pants, an undershirt, and a vest, instead adorned her sturdy body.

"Thank you, General Organa."

Her eyes softened after he spoke. "You've caught the eye of my best pilot, as I'm sure you know. You stood out to him and that may have made things hard for you, and I apologize for that." She paused. "But I think that if you two could only put aside your differences, you would be able to see just how similar you are."

Hux turned his gaze away, "Two sides of a coin, Ma'am?"

"Not even that different," Organa smiled. "You remind me of someone I once knew. A man who was unbreakable and quick-witted. A man who never liked to know the odds, but always calculated them in his head. He rubbed a lot of people the wrong way, until you got to know him." Her eyes drifted over him and Hux could feel his skin crawl. What did she see? What could she know from just looking at him with eyes that reminded him of someone else? How deep into his mind could she pry? "You're a good man, Hux. I know it. You were dealt a bad hand, but you'll never fold." She gestured to the sky. "And neither will he. Try to get along, won't you? Get to know one another? You may be surprised at what you find."

She dismissed him after that, but, instead of joining the recruits, the ginger turned on his heal and left the hangar completely.

***

The thrill of the travel greatly surpassed any negative emotion building within Poe’s body. He wasn’t necessarily in a rush to accomplish the mission, so the pilot made no effort to speed things along. Imagining it to be like taking a relaxing road trip, minus all the traffic, where a person could either take the freeway and cut their travel time in half, if not more, or take the scenic route and enjoy their time away. That's exactly what Poe was doing. Had Leia said it was crucial for him to arrive as soon as he possibly could, perhaps he would have made a greater effort.

As he navigated through the stars, the pilot’s mind kept drifting right on back to Hux. He struggled to keep any ill thoughts from reaching his head, but he just could not put to rest the idea that Hux had been lying to him during that entire moment they shared in his quarters. Even with all the emotions simmered down and no longer as intense, the Commander still felt like a foolish jerk for opening up to him.

It bothered him to picture what it would be like when he returned to his training duties. Would his recruits look at him in a completely different way? He couldn’t fathom that Hux _wouldn’t_ tell them about his problems. It drew an annoyed sigh from the pilot’s lips. One thing he did know for a fact, through it all, was that Hux was wrong about when their truce would break. It wouldn’t be upon his return…No…the ginger broke their truce the moment he fled through Poe’s doors. 

***

The version of Hux that stalked the Resistance halls was not a man pretending to be a recruit, but a First Order General who wanted blood. He had given up his icy calm to take up crackling lightening that immediately had people stepping out of his way. He didn't need to be reminded of his failure to stay isolated. He didn't need to think about just how close he had been to opening up so fully to Dameron that he might as well have held up his wrists for the prisoner cuffs to be placed around them. He hid away for the rest of the day, tucked into a small corner of the base - some little nook he found as he wandered around in circles.

He was dangerously lost. Not physically, although he had taken quite a few random twists and turns. No, it wasn't that. He hated to admit it, hated that it was the truth, but Hux had no idea what to do, anymore. The mission was slow, but he had obtained more information as he continued to talk and network. No, it wasn't that. He was...tired. Even a brief glimpse of safety and support led him to both wanting more and being afraid of his own sense of security around a man who he was supposed to hate.

He wasn't stupid. He knew that the rebels were just as human as he was, but it was easy to demonize an opposing army when he never saw them in combat. It was easy to see them as nothing more than agents of chaos in a galaxy in which he was trying to bring order. He curled into a tight ball, resting his chin on his knees. He wanted a confidante, but he drove the only person who had ever cared away. But could he really be blamed for that? Yes. Of course he could. It always came back to being his fault.

The ginger heard footsteps approach and he swallowed down his conflicting emotions. "What happened to Adrian?" He asked as soon as Rhys was close enough to hear.

If there was one question that Rhys was fully unprepared to answer, it was that exact one. It had his steps faltering for a brief moment, confusion etching his appearance. “Well, good evening to you too.” He sassed as he stood in front of the balled up recruit, glaring down at him. “I’m going to take offense next time I’m awarded custody of your group and you bail first second you get. C’mon, I can’t be _that_ much worse than Dameron, can I?”

A chuckle rumbled deep in the rotund belly of the portly man, but Rhys made no effort to move any closer to him or move down to his level. “Adrian, ah…” Remembering the sudden question fired at him as he approached, the amused smile faded and Rhys nodded. “Adrian. I’m assuming you know who he was to Poe?” Of course he had to know. Adrian’s tale wasn’t one that was so freely tossed around from one cadet to the next.

“We all thought Poe was going to remain the Resistance’s poster boy until the Resistance died. Until Adrian came along. And Poe nearly lost it,” the heavier set man chuckled fondly at the memories. “He sure gave Poe a run for his money, I’ll tell you that. It’s what attracted him to Adrian in the first place. This rivalry. Kind of reminds me of…”

Glancing at Hux, Rhys cleared his throat and decided to let that thought end there. Last thing he needed was to start any new rumors or ideas that didn’t need to be started. “Adrian just had this gold heart. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him mad. Not that I’d want to, either. Fiery guy, he was.” Much like his original comparison. “Once they got together, everyone knew it would last. You probably wouldn't have recognized Poe back then. We’re talking permanent creases by his eyes from smiling and laughing so much. But…As I’m sure you could guess, tragedy struck. It, uh… Geez, how long was it. It wasn’t too long after they announced their engagement. Adrian, he…”

Rhys stopped for a moment to clear his throat. Adrian’s death affected everyone, not just Poe. “It was a training flight, actually. I was in the hangar when it happened. Didn’t see it, but from what others have said, Adrian went up and something malfunctioned. The explosion was so loud. Deafening, like a bomb had dropped. I don’t know what Poe was doing at the time, but no one dared go find him and break the news. It was chaos. We tried so hard to extinguish the flames. They, Poe and Adrian, had this little thing, like a date thing, where Poe would always meet him for lunch after a training flight. I’m sure you can imagine how it went once Poe returned to meet Adrian for lunch.”

Hux pulled himself tighter once Rhys grew quiet. He processed the story bit by bit - dissecting each word, each inflection, and studying it, taking it apart, and putting it back together again. He nodded slowly as he pulled away the extra details to keep only what he wanted to know - a flight gone wrong, one minute there and the next...nothing. No one told Poe, immediately. He found out over what was supposed to be a happy meeting.

The ginger's lips curled into a snarl, his body rippling and tensing in a way that was far from confusion and fear and much closer to rage and intent. It felt wrong for him to hear this all from a second party, but he needed to know. Needed to see what was hiding behind worn pictures in cracked frames. He slowly unwrapped his arms from around himself and rolled into a stand. Engaged one day, separated by death soon after. Two smiling faces full of love and joy and every-fucking-thing that should make up a relationship. 'Once they got together, everyone knew it would last.'

"Don't say it kind of reminds you of he and I," the General's voice was low, calm, but when he turned his silver-green gaze toward the rebel pilot (pale, stout, wrong color eyes, wrong hair, _wrong pilot_ ) they were lit with cruel anger. "Don't suggest it. Don't think it."

"Hux--"

"Don't. Commander. Don't." The ginger watched as Rhys struggled to stay in place. The man was no doubt trained well and could hold his own in a fight of strength, but Hux was used to breaking people down and forcing them to bow to him on a much deeper level. The pilot finally found his spine and military training and met the cold stare directly.

"Look, you asked, Red. You wanted to know."

"And now I do. Thank you, Sir. I apologize for leaving. If you don't mind, I'm rather tired and--"

"Don't give me that banthashit," Rhys cut him off. "You might be able to dick around with Poe while you're out there with all the other recruits, but don't even try to jerk my chain. What I just told you - that goes no where. You got that? Poe trusted you enough to talk to you, at least a little, about it. Don't fuck that up."

"Agreed," Hux stated easily, stepping around the portly man. "Goodnight."

***

Three days… That was all Poe could allow himself to be gone. But those three days, he had put to good use. As he began the descent down onto the tarmac, the pilot felt the tension slowly building back up inside of him. Rhys was further down with the group, who now all seemed to focus on him. Like a bunch of little kids who had never seen a X-Wing landing before in their lives. A few men had rushed out, readying a sturdier ladder against the side of the starfighter as Poe stood up and removed his helmet.

Without even meaning to, his eyes began to dart around at all the bodies, finding himself searching for one in particular. But the second his gaze even neared Hux, he hardened his features and looked away. No. There was no one there to care that he made it back alive. No one to greet him and admit to them missing his presence. And there never would be.

“You’ll find the supplies in the back compartment. Tell General Organa the contact got attacked and we lost over half the stock before I even got there. She won’t be happy, but we got what we could. There’s medicine that needs to reach the Medical Bay immediately, and a great deal of rations to bring to storage.”

Finally deciding to descend the stairs, Poe allowed the other men to jump into action, forming a sort of assembly line up the ladder to handle all the product that had been brought back with him. Rhys had begun jogging across the landing to get to him, but the Rebel pilot was in no mood to talk about anything that had happened before he decided to abandon his current responsibilities to take on the small mission. So he lifted a hand, dismissing him as he began walking in the opposite direction.

“Poe! Poe, wait!”

Poe’s steps only quickened. He needed solitude once more. Already aching to be back in his craft and far away from any other living souls. He knew what Rhys wanted to verify; to see if Poe had indulged into another deep, dark secret that a very select few knew about. Which only pissed him off even more. He didn’t need a babysitter. He didn’t need anybody breathing down his back; if he wanted to screw his life up, it was his choice to do so. Regardless of what anybody else said.

Green eyes tracked the returning and retreating pilot. Rhys was concerned, that much was obvious by how he had trailed off in the middle of his sentence to lumber over to his friend. When he was dismissed almost immediately and that made Hux cock his head. Rico's arm dropped to it's normal place around the ginger's shoulders.

"Boss is back, huh?" The brunette hummed. "I bet you're just overjoyed."

Hux shrugged as much as he could with the weight of his companion's arm on him. "Back and, yet, not here." He watched the portly Commander slump as Dameron walked away from him and out of the hangar. "Ever isolated."

"Man, who would want that? Maybe the mission didn't go well," Rico guessed, but the ginger gestured over to the assembly of people to reject the claim. "That doesn't mean it went perfectly. I mean, honestly, when do missions go smoothly?"

"Never."

"Exactly. Something probably blew up in his face, ya know?"

The General clenched his jaw at the wording as Rhys turned to slowly walk back over to the recruits. "Take notes for me," he stated to Rico and then started to approach their substitute.

"Are you really going to leave class, again? Red, you gotta know that --"

"I'm going after him, Sir. You are welcome to stop me, but, honestly, I don't think you will," Hux stared down the stocky man. Predictably, he slowly nodded and stepped aside.

"Hey," the Commander took him by the arm as the General tried to pass him. "You don't get another chance, you got that?"

The ginger shrugged him off and briskly walked across the hangar, speeding up his strides until he was close enough to clearly make out Dameron's curls and quick gait. He moved as fast as he could without breaking into a jog, twisting and ducking around people in an effort to not slow down. "Poe!"

The pilot’s tense shoulders were just beginning to relax when suddenly he heard a voice. _His_ voice. Then almost instantly, his entire postured tensed right back up. He didn’t realize that his steps had slowed down some, but as he ignored the call of his name, he continued walking. If he wasn’t in the proper mindset to handle Rhys, his closest friend, at the moment, then surely dealing with Hux was a _huge_ problem just waiting to boil over.

So…He did what any mature, professional adult would do in a situation like this.

“I can’t hear you!”

His steps quickened once more, swiftly maneuvering around the crew briskly unloading the supplies and running certain ones back and forth. With the end of the hangar in sight, Poe damn near started jogging, slipping through the doors right as they slid shut from someone else’s exit. He took the brief opportunity to be out of Hux’s direct line of sight to start running, full speed, until he could abruptly turn a corner beginning another long corridor.

Thinking he was safe and out of anyone’s radius, he let out a deep, heavy breath and leaned back into a wall. His face buried behind dirty palms as he forced himself to take a few calming breathers. Returning was a mistake. He told himself that every time he left the Resistance base to do anything. ‘Just go, Dameron. Leave. They’ll think you died. Got kidnapped. Whatever. Just go away for a while.’ But the proper little fighter soldier in him forced him to return each and every time. 

Meanwhile, Hux hit the door as it closed just barely before he could reach it. He didn't wait for it to fully open, again, instead deciding to slip through it as soon as his slender body could. He looked both ways down the hall, but the pilot was gone.

"I see you're back to acting like an adult," the ginger grumbled. 'Okay, focus,' he told himself. He didn't know where the Commander had gone, but he knew where he would eventually end up. The General recalled a mental map of the part of the base he had wandered about in, pinpointing where Dameron's room was and turning on his heel to go in that direction.

He didn't even know what he wanted to say to the pilot. Didn't know why he was so bent on finding him and even trying to reopen conversation with him, but, still, he wanted to. And that should really give him pause because wasn't it against _everything_ he stood for? Shouldn't he not care? This wasn't advancing the mission. This was a personal deterrent getting in the way of his focus.

But he wanted to. So he would.

Hux had just gotten lost - turned around in the maze of halls and rooms and storage areas, when he turned to find the man he was searching for huddled against a wall. "Hey," he said quietly, approaching slowly, cautiously. The man looked less angry and much more...conflicted. "Commander Dameron, I...Are you alright?"

“Por el amor de...” Poe felt his blood flash to cold the moment he heard the first syllable of Hux’s voice. He growled, standing straight, and getting himself a good, decent look at him. The anger softened briefly as he fought through that emotional connection they had established, but then Hux’s previous, sudden disappearance flashed back into his mind and he scowled. “No estas permitido… Perdon.”

He knew his emotions were swiftly raging out of control; anger, fear, confusion, hope, longing, despair, hurt… Just to name a few. But he sighed and swallowed hard, focusing his mind to think properly and form a coherent, Basic thought.

“You don’t get to care,” he finally spat out, pointing directly at Hux’s face. “You don’t get to just storm out like that without a fucking farewell or _anything,_ then expect to be able to care later. No, it don’t work like that, Hux. So, just turn around and walk off, like you seem to be so damn good at doing. Because I’m not buying your bullshit anymore.”

Clean cut. Don’t beat around the bush, don’t give in to the tempting desires. Just end it.

The ginger visibly flinched at the words thrown his way. He knew that, knew he deserved nothing less that cold rejection and harsh emotions. But that didn't make sense. He didn't leave the other night because he was running from Dameron, he left because he was running from himself. He had started to fall apart until Snoke had stabbed into his mind and demanded his attention.

Hux didn't argue, he didn't need to. The pilot was so far passed irritation and anger. And he had a right to be, if he thought that the General left because of something that happened between them. He glanced away for a long time, trying to decide what to say, trying to find a new angle, a new strategy that would lead to a better outcome, but people were not the same as battles. People didn't have formulas that made them easy to solve. Jade eyes dropped to the floor, then flickered back up to the seething commander. Where does one start when there's nothing left to say?

"Tha mi duilich," he repeated the words from the night before. "Tha mi duilich...means 'I'm sorry'." He looked away again. "Rhys told me...everything. Or, rather, he told me what happened, but I think there's a lot between that and 'everything'. And..." Hux stopped himself from rambling anymore. "Tha mi duilich." He hesitated. What the pilot needed was a show of good faith. He brought his left arm up, sighed, and dropped it. "You asked me about my arm. I don't...need medical attention, but am willing to let you look at it. If you want. I think I do."

No, it… It wasn’t supposed to be like that. Poe was fully prepared for Hux to do as he barked at him to do: just turn and leave. But for Hux to stay. Apologize? And Rhys, he asked Rhys? The thought of Hux knowing even _more_ about Adrian made his heart begin to race like mad. So Hux knew more and came to seek him about it. But was it out of pity? Did the redhead truly feel like Poe was pathetic enough at this point to _need_ friendship? A companion? A buddy-ole-pal?

“I don’t need a pity party,” he growled, but his smoldering dark eyes flicked down to the wrist that was briefly held out for him to see. Truth be told, he was deeply curious as to what the deal with the arm was. But if it wasn’t an injury… A tattoo? But why would that bother him. New, perhaps? Maybe he went out with his stupid little recruit friends -cough, Rico- and it was bothering him? New ink did tend to itch and burn sometimes… No, that was too dumb of an idea to even pondering any longer.

So, a slow, unsure hand slowly reached out and he brushed his fingertips against the smaller wrist once more. It was the action that had Hux bolting so anxiously the night before. Worse came to worse, Poe would get that privacy he so desperately sought.

Hux inhaled sharply when Dameron's fingers grazed over his sleeve. He swallowed around his want to run, to flee the alien touch and hide away so no one else could ever get that close again. But he forced himself to remain mostly steady. His wrist did flinch away from the pilot's hand, and there was nothing he could do to stop that.

"I'm not offering you pity," the ginger stated. "I'm not offering you anything. I'm telling you what happened while you were gone - reporting to you as a simple soldier should to their superior officers." He paused as another Rebel passed by the corner they occupied. "I'm not offering you anything," he repeated. "I'm just giving it to you."

It was a subtle difference, but one that was nonetheless there. The General found that the galaxy worked in subtle shifts. Bare separations and slight alterations. The art of war was mastered in details. This was no different, but, for some reason, the stakes felt higher.

"Not here," Hux requested. "Someplace private."


	10. Rubik's Cube

It was beginning to feel an awful lot like a repeat of the night before. Sighing in defeat, the pilot nodded. “Alright, come on.” There was only one place close by that he knew they would receive the adequate privacy it now seemed Hux needed. So, for the second time, he began to lead the redhead back to his private quarters. Silence thickened around them, making the situation entirely uncomfortable. Poe had his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jumper as they walked, his shoulders slumped forward.

Once they arrived and stepped in, Poe motioned at the little loveseat once more. “Just, uh.. Make yourself comfortable, I guess. I’ve got to change real quick. I’d say you can kick back and relax, take your shoes off, but my guess is you’ll be running out of here again, so best to leave them on.”

And without another word between them, Poe slipped into his bedroom, groaning when the door slid shut behind him. He took his time to change into something far more relaxed and more comfortable than the bright orange flight suit; deciding on a simple pair of sweat pants and a dark tank top. As he stepped back out, brushing his fingers through his hair, he startled to see Hux had stuck around.

“Well, I wasn’t expecting that.”

This time, he made no effort to get them drinks or offer him anything that would make him feel more at ease. Instead, he dropped down into the chair close to where the recruit was sitting and gave him a ‘well, let’s hear it’ sort of look. 

Hux wasn't sure how to take the pilot's words or to what, exactly, they were referring, so he ignored them. The ginger glanced at the seated pilot, then away, back to the Commander, and then to a random point on the wall. He felt...under fire. Felt like this was less of a time to open up to one another and more of a time for Dameron to cut him down the middle and pry inside.

The General curled forward, resting his elbows on his knees and deeply sighing. Hux didn't know what to say - for all his oratory skill, his words completely failed him. Was there anything to say? Was this even something he should be doing? He hadn't known the Commander long and they weren't exactly friends, why was he baring himself to the other man? Hux didn't trust people. Not anymore. He had used to. That's how it all started.

Jade eyes looked down as a pale hand slowly rolled up the sleeve on his left arm, bunching it up just above his elbow. He hesitated for a long second before revealing the inside of his forearm to the rebel pilot. Two horizontal scars were drawn across his wrist - faded after years, but forever marked into his pale skin. A deeper, jagged scar ran vertically from the bottom of his hand, all the way to the crook of his elbow. The slightly raised skin of it stood out like a crack on the porcelain that surrounded it. Green eyes closed as Hux shifted in his seat to make it easier for Poe - when had he started thinking of him by his first name? - to see and to touch. He trembled.

Dark eyes, filled with compassion and heartache, studied every little freckle and hair adorning Hux’s arm. They scanned over the two smaller scars before slowly traveling up the much larger, more noticeable one. There was no questioning where these scars came from. It wasn’t simply a cut one got during day-to-day activities. No…These were self-inflicted. At some point in his life, Hux felt low enough to take something sharp and potentially deadly to his own flesh. More than likely with the intention to kill himself with that large one.

Licking his lips, Poe felt his throat suddenly go dry. He wished he never mentioned Hux’s arm in the first place. Wished their apology had ended in the refresher down back at the hangar before he left on his mission. This was too much. The recruit knew everything about Adrian, and, now, Poe knew this piece of history from the redhead’s life. At least two more heavy secrets still clung to them in their silence; Poe’s unfortunate method of coping, which he wasn’t completely through with, yet, and the deal behind Hux’s father and ex-fiancé.

Both of those topics would need to wait for a later time. Poe would gladly listen to anything Hux had to tell him about his past that led up to this, but he was definitely not about to indulge him in _another,_ fucked up aspect of his fucked up life. No, that secret was best left unvoiced. If he ever resorted to that method again and Hux found out, so be it. But he had gotten rather good and distancing himself until any obvious proof of it was gone.

“Hux…” It was then that Poe realized he didn’t know the other’s proper name. He couldn’t just be ‘Hux’… There had to be more to ‘Hux’ than just that. And it just sounded so pathetic falling from downturned lips. What was he supposed to say? He knew how others had reacted in the past to his form of self-loathing and depression remedies. Did Hux want him to act disgusted? Scold him, mock him? Tell him how 'pathetic' he was and how life was worth so much more to that? Because it wasn’t true. Any of it.

“I get it… I…I understand.” He finally admitted with a soft sigh, his unsure hand reaching out. A calloused padded thumb rubbed against one of the smaller ones, tracing the path that Hux had once taken. “I don’t think any less of you, if that’s what you’re thinking. We’ve all been there. And _this_ is how you chose to cope. It doesn’t make you any weaker of a person, or any less of one. I’m….”

Just say it, Poe. Admit it. You’ve opened up to him so much already, grown oddly attached in the past few days to him because of it. “I’m glad you’re still here.” The words he spoke were the exact words he wished someone else had said to him when he revealed his more destructive thoughts.

A shuddering breath wracked the ginger's frame at Poe's touch and words. He had been expecting much worse - he had been told to expect much worse, the thought that he wasn't worth any kind of life had been burned into his brain over and over and over again until he had left to join the First Order. Not even then, it wasn't until he had rose through the ranks that those voices were silenced for good. It wasn't until he was General that the other things stopped, too.

"I...sometimes I wonder if I'm glad that I'm here," Hux admitted, gaze still not willing to meet the pilot's eyes for longer than a few fleeting seconds. "But...I understand regret. And loss. And...love, to some extent. I'm not going to tell you that I know how you feel or that everything happens for a reason or that things will get better because all of that is banthashit." He paused. "But...I will tell you that...I'm glad you're here, too. Glad to have met you."

It was a hard truth, but a truth, nonetheless. And, really, what was harm in admitting that when he would sooner or later be torn away from all of this. He would _have_ to leave, so why not take some time for personal healing and support along the way? What was the use in hiding secrets from a person he'd never see again.

"My ex-fiancé made...he pushed me to the point where I did this to myself," the General stated. "I can't imagine what Adrian's death pushed you to do...but...I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you are, more or less, safe."

Swallowing hard, Poe lifted his gaze once more to try and focus on the sullen green pair avoiding him. To hear that a lover was what pushed the redhead to the point of no return left a sour, almost nauseating feeling in his stomach. A lover was meant to lift you up when you were at your low points, and hold you higher when you were at your best. But if Hux had been pushed to the point of opening his own flesh to drain himself of his own blood, than that means his ex-fiancé was abusive either mentally or physically. Or… Force forbid… Both.

“Did he...Ever hurt you?” He couldn’t fathom even imagining someone laying an angry hand on Hux. Even if the redhead pissed him off more times than not, he’d never lash out to that extreme. “Or was he just mentally abusive?” Perhaps that’s where Hux’s hardened exterior came from. His need to put others in their place and take control of the situation.

Because he was coming from a situation where he was losing control faster than he could keep up.

That made Poe’s heart race and he wanted to just tug him close and hold him. And that bothered him more than he would ever admit. That need to be close to someone was rearing its ugly head once more, leaving Poe feeling lost and a bit more than just lonely. Not wanting the conversation to be turned onto him again, wanting Hux to have the option to explain even further, Poe decided to only respond to the recruit’s caring words with a tiny smile and a simple nod of the head.

The ginger pulled his arm back and away from the pilot - not in a hurried jerk, but a slow tug. He traced his own scars with pale fingertips, looking down at the marred skin. His head was starting to cloud again and pressing against the self-inflicted marks helped him focus - which was, probably, completely and utterly unhealthy and probably, also, an awful habit to continue, but...it helped.

He swallowed and bit his bottom lip as he thought about Poe's question. Had Marcus ever hurt him? He wanted to laugh. He wanted to cry. He wanted to cover his face. 'Hurt' was too nice of a word. No...Marcus had not hurt Hux. Marcus broke him - shattered him like a broken porcelain doll and then ground the pieces into dust and threw them into the wind. He didn't talk about this - had _never_ talked about this - because no one could help. No one could change what happened. No one could change him. The cracks were all there, just waiting to break apart.

He strove for unity, for order, for complete and utter dominance because he didn't have any of those.

"He..." Hux stopped. He dragged a fingernail down his arm, tracing over the existing line. "Yes." He felt his breath hitch, but he swallowed the panic that was rising and spreading through him. "He..." The General broke off, again, frustrated with himself and snapping. "Faigh e còmhla, Hux. Chan eil e an-seo. Chan eil e an-seo," he shook his head. His voice changed when he berated himself. "Stad a chur air a bhith mar seo. Stad a chur air a bhith cho lag agus briste."

Poe’s brow furrowed deeply as he listened to and watched the display before him. It was very obvious that he may have struck a chord within Hux; one that pushed him to the brink of some terrible emotion. Sighing softly, he stood and transferred over to sit beside Hux on the couch. As much as he wanted to sling an arm around him and hold him close, he resisted the urge. Doing so could only be detrimental to Hux’s stability right now, and he didn’t want to add any more anguish or misery to the redhead.

“You do realize I don’t speak that language. Though, I was able to understand _one_ word of what you said.” A tiny chuckle worked its way up the Commander’s throat at his awful attempt to lighten the mood some. He needed to bring Hux back down to his level, to get him to lose some of the panic. Not knowing the man truly made it difficult; everyone had a panic button, basically, that when pressed, helped ease them from a building up attack. Poe, if you ran your fingers through his hair, kissed behind his ear, or simply held his hand with caring would help counteract the nearly inevitable outcome.

Leaning forward, he rested his arms on his legs and turned his head to look over at the man beside him. “I won’t judge you, I promise. We all have our ways of coping. That doesn’t make any of it right, or anyone better than the other. It’s just simple fuckin’ fact, you hear me? Some are more damaging to the inside, while others are visible on the outside. So don’t think I’m looking at you like you’re broken or useless. Because you’re not.”

The words 'broken' and 'useless' rang out the loudest in Hux's mind. They weren't directed at him, but he was so used to them being synonymous with his being that they caused a small noise to escape him. He wasn't here. He couldn't hurt the ginger anymore. The General shifted and fitted himself against Poe. He needed something solid and warm and breathing to remind himself where he was, not where he came from.

"Sorry...it just," Hux sighed, slowly putting words together in the right order. "Fall into it...when I...get panicked or overwhelmed. It's a tic or something."

The pilot was right. Everyone coped with tragedy and abuse differently. What helped one person might only hurt another and vice versa. The ginger had never been one to open up to people, making talking and discussing his past a near impossibility. Being in the First Order, of course, also meant that he didn't brush shoulders with many people who were trustworthy or therapeutic. Most people on the Finalizer would probably use his past against him, if given the chance. People in the Order didn't care about each other, they cared about success and victory and other abstract war concepts that were somehow operationalized and reported.

"I want to answer your questions...want to talk...but need a moment. I've never...to anyone," the ginger itched his wrist. He would come back to his own tale of woe once his mind had cleared and his body stopped telling him to 'get out, run, go, hide.' "How did you cope? What proverbial poison did you chose?"

“Wow. Uh…” The pilot chuckled nervously; very, very nervously. One of his biggest fears about opening up with his issues was being seen as a pathetic, worthless junkie. Which is basically how he felt about himself more times than not. Adrian would have been so disappointed if he were alive, to see what a loser Poe had become… He wanted to tell Hux in order to let the man know he could speak to him about anything, but at the same time, he still had the inkling in the back of his mind that somehow, this would all be turned against him. That it would be used to degrade him in front of others.

Glancing down, Poe noticed the redness forming from the nails scratching at the scar. Without thinking twice about it, he wrapped an arm around the lithe torso, holding him even closer, then cupped the bothersome wrist in his palm. He reached across with his other hand and began to gently stroke at the area with two fingers, keeping Hux from being able to hurt himself any further.

“I… Look, if I tell you this, it _has_ to stay in this room. I don’t know what sort of relationship you have with the other recruits, especially that overly clingy one you seem interested in…” Poe was losing focus; the anger of jealousy swelling up within him. “Just as I would keep this a secret for you, you need to keep mine a secret, too. I can’t stress that enough. I don’t go around every day bringing people back here and do…” He gazed down at the warmth pressed tightly against his side, trying to hold back a small smile. “This.”

Hux shivered as the pilot's fingers continued to pet and caress his arm. It was a gentle touch, not like the rough presses and clawing scratches that the General, himself, normally applied. He was almost unsure what to do, with Poe so completely wrapped around him - not restraining, not pinning, just embracing and petting. His eyes tracked each movement of tan fingers against his skin. It was a stark contrast to see it, there. Winter and summer. He turned his head to look at Dameron, only then realizing how close they were when the movement brought him just a few inches away from the other man.

"Relationships?" The ginger furrowed his brow. "With Rico? No. No, no, not at all. He's sweet and will make some other energetic and annoying person happy one day. But, no." He smiled slightly at the idea of how quickly the other recruit would run away if he knew just _who_ he clung to on a normal basis. "And I haven't said anything to anyone. I know the difference between private and public information. I don't entirely believe that you keep your hands to yourself on a normal basis, but that's really not for me to pry into either."

To offset the snark and bite of his words, Hux pressed closer to the pilot. What could he say? Sarcasm and spite made people hate him, but at least that meant he was left alone. It was his front line of defense - an automatic weapon that powered on whenever he felt too raw and open.

"I'm not going to tell anyone." Jade eyes dropped down to his wrist. "My lips are sealed."

Poe wasn’t given much time to process the stuff said about Rico. With Hux’s face was a mere inch or two from his own, he gasped lightly. Feeling all the blood pool in his cheeks, he cleared his throat and quickly looked away, trying desperately to lessen his blush. When he felt like he had good control over the redness staining his skin, he turned his head back to look at Hux and sighed.

“You guessed right when you said poison… I, uh… There’s this drug, not really well known.. It’s called Galactic Tar. I dunno why, it’s nothing like that. Um. Well… It’s basically traded among travelers. Very, very potent. The tiniest bit will put you into another universe, really.” Reaching up with his free hand, Poe scratched at the back of his neck in a nervous tic. “Fuck, I’ve never really explained this to anyone before.”

The pilot sat up a bit straighter, but made sure to keep Hux tucked perfectly against his side. He couldn’t look at him anymore at this point, shame far too prevalent in his mind to risk facing the disappointment he’d surely see.

“You probably haven’t heard about it, I’m guessing. But, uh… It’s this crystalized substance. A lot of folks like to melt it and inject it into themselves. But, uh...” The more he spoke, the more his knee began to bounce up and down. He fidgeted uncomfortably and winced. “I, um. If you snort it, it really fuckin’ hits hard. And fast. Fuckin’ knocks you out… I’ve gone an entire week unconscious before after just two bumps…”

He felt his heart beginning to thud wildly and erratically and he groaned, shutting his eyes. Scrunching his face up, he fought through an unmistakable pang of desire. That insatiable urge. An addiction too strong, too demanding.

“F-Fuck, I-I mean.. I’m a fuckin’ junkie? Ok? Un perdedor. Completar puto perdedor.”

His arm pulled away from Hux’s body and he hunched forward, both hands slipping into his dark locks. Growling out a scream, he pulled hard, fighting through that burning, singeing his insides. The pilot’s breathing began to increase as well, like an angry bull… But once the pain peaked and began to dwindle away, he sighed, feeling himself start to relax.

The ginger watched his mentor talk himself into a near-panic and then crumble just as suddenly as he had built himself up. He had heard the name of the drug before - Galactic Tar. A few of his officers - the ones that didn't last long due to either them breaking under pressure or their skulls breaking for a much more physical reason - had spoken about it. He had never tried drugs of any kind - he learned quickly that he had to always be aware of his surroundings and always be ready to fight or flinch.

"You're not," Hux stated simply. There was no judgement in his tone. There was surprise, of course - the poster boy of the Resistance used crystallized drugs as a form of escape, how could that not surprise him? But, he couldn't look down on self-destructive tendencies without being hypocritical.

The General reached up slowly - not entirely aware of what his impulses wanted him to do until his fingers were already carding through dark curls in an attempt to soothe.

When he first arrived at the rebel base, Hux had seen Dameron as a Rubik's Cube - an overwhelming problem that had 43 quintillion possibilities. Slowly, the colors were falling into place. The bright smiles in the picture were white. His anger was red. He was the best pilot in the Resistance - his profession dressed him in orange. He was warm and open like the yellow sun, but when he expressed his truest emotions, it was obvious that had shed many blue tears in his life. White, red, orange, yellow, blue. Hux didn't know what the green side represented.

"You're not a junkie, nor are you weak, and nor are you a loser in any way," he watched the pilot. "You're just broken." He paused, considering what would help the man the most to hear. His fingers tangled in thick, black hair and gently massaged Poe's scalp. "It still...it still helps sometimes, when I...when it's really hard, sometimes just one or two cuts sets me straight. We're fucked up, but not defeated."

It became damn near impossible for Poe to focus on anything at the moment other than the entirely too comforting sensation of those slender digits running through his hair. His breath came out trembled, though he desperately tried to keep it steady. He didn’t want Hux to know how much this affected him, so he swallowed hard and nodded. But then he let out another trembled breath, this one accompanied by a soft groan of appreciation, and his head drooped forward even more.

“It’s easier to say than it is to accept, isn’t it?” A wry laugh escaped Dameron as he finally sat straight once more, the movement causing the comforting hand to drop away. “Once a junkie, always a junkie. Isn’t that how the quote goes?” The pilot’s tone was laced with bitterness, but he sighed out his frustrations, not wanting to take it out on Hux. Not when the man had been nothing but utterly compassionate and caring towards him.

His mind mulled over what the redhead had said about his cutting. It irked him deep down to know that Hux still fell back to that comfort in times of need, but he fully understood that desire. “It… Has been a while. I, um… When Rhys tried to speak to me after I arrived…” He made a motioning gesture with his hands, trying to get Hux to understand the connection. “Anytime I leave upset. It’s like he thinks I’m this weak, lost puppy. I can handle the cravings just fine. Tar isn’t something you get over with time. The detox is one of the worst experiences you can ever imagine. I keep trying to remind him of that. That he would _know_ if I got a hold of some while I was out. Being so drastically ill for days on in. Puking up every little bit of liquid you have inside of you, until it is nothing but blood coming out. I spend a week unconscious, then another week too sick to move. Imagine being curled up in a tiny little ball of your own bile.”

He knew he was painting a rather pathetic image for Hux to picture, but he _had_ to make him understand.

“He cares, I get it. Whatever. But, fuck, man, you know? It’s like… Back off! If I snort, then I fuckin’ snort. It’s not the end of the world.” He wasn’t even sure where he was going with this anymore. Was he still trying to convince Hux? Or was he trying to convince himself that what he did was fine? “It’s been a long time since I’ve last done it. Almost a year, to tell you the truth… Almost a year..” He sighed, gazing down at his feet with a shudder.

Hux had a very distinct feeling that Poe was no longer talking to him - that all the words the man was throwing around were more to himself than they were to the ginger. So he placed his hands back into his own lap and waited for the pilot to calm down and finish talking to whatever ghost he was envisioning the General to be at the moment.

"Poe." He finally cut the Commander's rambles off. "It's what you do. I'm not here to disapprove of any of your methods. If I was, I would start with your knack for tardiness and your inherent lack of teaching skills." He offered a teasing smile, much more at ease now than he was before.

He felt like they were playing tag. Like only one of them could be breaking down at a time and only one of them could be level-headed. It felt like a give and take - a game of support, like two soldiers on--

No. They weren't going to be a team. They wouldn't battle _together_ , they would battle each other and--

Hux didn't like where that thought was going either, so he gave up on both of them. "A year is good. That's a long time. Longer than me. I," he paused to recount the time in his head. "Last time I cut myself was four months ago." Jade eyes looked down at his wrist. "I know how to do it so that it doesn't even leave a mark. So it's deep enough to help, but not enough to damage. Practice makes perfect, I suppose."

'Four months, wow.' That urge Poe had been feeling earlier to hold Hux tightly within his arms was returning. He gazed down at the redhead with a newfound respect for him. He never would have guessed that the man hiding behind the mask of sarcasm and confidence would ever be hiding such a secret. He shouldn’t have been so quick to assume in the first place, though. That was his first mistake. The ginger shrugged and glanced away, subtly shifting closer to the pilot - still seeking protection from the shadows that licked at the corners of his eyes and the demons that clouded his mind with words of spite and degradation. He turned his head so he could see the pilot's face, trying to riddle out what the man was thinking. Hux dropped his gaze, then brought it back up.

"You asked...if Marcus hurt me. Do you really want to know the answer to that?" The General questioned, offering Poe one last escape route before he bared more than just a few physical scars to the other man.

The Commander's shoulders lifted for a brief moment, before dropping back down, slumped, with a sigh. “I do, I’m not going to lie,” he admitted. It was like a story being half read before the book gets destroyed, leaving the reader anxious to find out what happened next. He knew Hux wasn’t a book to be read so easily, and this wasn’t just a simple story being told. But he felt like he had to know at this point. Pieces were starting to come together on the mystery of this fiery redhead. He couldn’t give up now.

“But, listen, Hux… Uh, what you said earlier, about how long it’s been since you’ve…” His hand lifted once more to rub at the back of his neck; his gaze lowering down to the wrist in question. “Next time, i..if it happens again. Will you, uh… Just find me? Before you do it? I mean, not so I can stop you, I-I’d _rather_ stop you, but I won’t, but just so I can be there? N-Not while you’re _doing_ it, but close enough in case… You never know, your hand might twitch and all it takes is, just a little, a tiny… Anything can go wrong, that’s all I’m saying.” 

The redhead cast his gaze on the lines that decorated his arm like war paint. Why would Poe care enough to be there? He understood the feeling of being kindred souls, but the pilot knew nothing about him, really. He knew the bits and pieces that the ginger had been willing to talk about - he was about to know a lot more, if Hux could only bring himself to talk about it, to vocalize it. But to want to be there for the General - ah, that was another thing the Commander did not know - was a concept that was both confusing and unsettling.

"I know what it's like for there to be a fine line between life and death," a pale finger traced the longest scar. "But I could say the same for you. All it takes is one too many. You might just, accidentally, mix it with the wrong thing. It only takes one bad batch to poison every buyer." The ginger turned his gaze from his wrist and back to the dark, endlessness of Dameron's eyes. "I will find you, if you find me. Either both of us are in this, or neither of us are." He stated firmly - a little of his rank's authority seeping into his tone, for better or for worse.

Then he paused, silent.

"It's not...it's not a pretty sight, when I do _this_ either. It hurts - burns almost. And there can be a lot of blood, even if it's done right. It's eerie to see your own life drip down a drain, but...afterward, it's like a high," the General described. "Everything fades away and it's not painful anymore and...it feels like you're floating." He swallowed and shook away the images and phantom sensations. He needed to focus. Needed to steady himself. He needed to feel the encompassing support that made up Poe's presence, but he was too prideful to ask. "Right, so. Enough of that. You want to--You'll be the first person to hear this, ever, so bear with me if I...Right."


	11. You're Safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning for this Chapter:  
> Past abuse and past rape (mentioned, not detailed)

Poe wasn’t entirely sure if he should feel honored that such a tale had yet to be heard by anyone else before, or guilty for asking the man to speak about it. Did no one care enough to ask Hux about his past? Did no one lend him a caring ear? Or did he simply lock that part of his life away into the depths of his memory in hopes of never having to let the memories resurface again? If that was the case, he definitely felt a little more than guilty for dipping into this part of his past.

“It’s fine, take your time, Hux.”

The arm slung lazily around Hux’s shoulders gave him a gentle, reassuring squeeze. In the process, he pulled him a bit closer to his body, greedily enjoying the warmth of another person while he could. He wasn’t joking when he said he didn’t do this often; it had been quite some time since he last sought somebody’s company. His flirtatious attitude was merely a front he put on, trying to come across as much more confident and proud of himself than he ever could truly feel.

Hux was taken out of his debate of what to say and what not to say by the realization that he was not tempted to pull away from Poe. He had never liked touch - not after...well, he was about to get to that. He would normally go out of his way to stay _away_ from contact - in fact, he had to keep himself from immediately pushing Rico away any time the recruit saddled up to him. But, here and now, the arm around his shoulders and the body pressed against his side...well, it wasn't so bad.

The ginger cleared his throat. "Marcus," Force he hated that name, "was a soldier. I met him when I was at--when I was still growing up, just moved out from home." Oh. The General paused. "Background information. When I said my father was an asshole, I wasn't joking. Sometime when I was...young, he took it upon himself to beat the man into me. As I got older...it got worse. We went from a few hits to him tossing me around and...throwing me into things while my mum would cry and..." He turned away, eyes stinging.

This wasn't supposed to be the hard part of the story. This was the part he had already come to terms with. This was the part that he had accepted and grown from.

Hux's laugh was bitter. "When I...came out...he, heh. He threw me down the stairs and said that no son of his was going to 'spread his legs like a bitch'. He told me that if I wanted to go anywhere other than a brothel, I should rethink my sexuality." He bit his bottom lip as he sifted through the memory. "I told him that I couldn't change myself and he...he threw me around and, finally, I blacked out." Hux tried to stop the tears that were welling up in his eyes. "He put me in a coma for three days."

Poe listened with a heavy heart. Try as he might, he could not avoid the mental images that surfaced along with Hux’s story. Imagining the redhead much younger, more than likely a lot more frail looking than he currently was, being treated in such a way. It had him frowning more and more until finally, his lips simply adapted the look of a displeased scowl. One thing Poe never had to worry about was the coming out story with his parents. His mother passed away when he was still a small child, and he hadn’t fully come to terms with his sexuality while his father was still around. But he could see how difficult it could have been for Hux to have to deal with not only coming out, but dealing with his father’s unyielding anger.

“Spread your legs like a bitch..?” That made the pilot scoff; while he primarily topped in his relationships with men, he never once made them feel like they were ‘his bitch’. And the few times he bottomed for a partner, he was never made to feel like that either. “Is that how he saw your mother? I’m assuming so. What is the difference between you seeking a partner, and them going at it?”

He scoffed once more, rolling his eyes. Homophobia always brought out the worst in people. It made them suddenly hypocritical. “Three days…” Hux was rendered unconscious for three entire days, simply because of his desire to be with men instead of women. His own father put him into that state out of his own irrational fear or hatred towards someone else’s sexual relations. Without realizing it, Poe hugged the redhead tighter against his side before slowly lifting a hand to once more start toying with the red locks of hair. 

Hux turned his gaze to the ceiling, trying to collect himself in the light fixtures and dust. He blinked and rubbed his eyes. He nodded, answering all of Poe's questions at once before pausing. "He loved my mother. Never laid a hand on her, that I know of, but...I don't know. He never listened to her, either."

The ginger glanced again to the lights, then to the ground, and finally settled on looking at his wrist. He was grounded, there, entranced for a silent moment before he swallowed and continued. "I left the house as soon as I was able - as soon as I had a way out. I got an education at the place my father worked and...well, we didn't see much of each other, then. That's where I met Marcus." A sad smile flickers over his lips. "He was...Marcus was a soldier, true and true. He was strong and...and loyal and commanding at times, but normally softspoken around me." He sighed. "He was everything I ever wanted...and when he proposed, I thought it was a dream."

The General bit his bottom lip as his smile turned watery and his vision clouded with tears. He hated this - hated that he still was so sorrowful over a man that he _should_ hate with his entire being. He hated that, somewhere, deep down, he still loved the Marcus that he had first met.

"I should have seen the signs," he whispered. "It should have all be so obvious to me. I should have known that I was stuck in that damn cycle. But...he started talking me out of being around people. Started telling me that they were bad for me or they wanted to fuck me or...any number of things, really. And I listened to him, and one by one...I left everyone in my life for him. I stopped having reason to go out, so I almost never left our house. It started to feel _wrong_ to leave the house." Hux shifted so that he could turn to face Poe easier. "In just a matter of weeks, I let myself be completely trapped by him."

Everything Hux had mentioned, Poe could easily picture; though he had never been in such a relationship, he wasn’t too naive to think bad people like Marcus didn’t exist. He had seen some of his companions over time fall victim to such behavior, and more often than not, it made him wonder what kept the abused around. Having never been in such a predicament, Poe simply did not understand that there was much more involved than just basically saying ‘screw you, goodbye’ and leaving. He didn’t comprehend just how deeply the abuse could get, forcing the victim to believe they truly weren’t meant for anything better.

“How long did you stay with him like that?” Poe asked softly, catching the hurt that crept up behind normally fiery jade eyes. The pilot found himself staring for quite a while, losing himself in the captive emerald color. The pale skin around his face made the color of his eyes pop out even more and it brought a gentle smile to his lips.

With Hux facing him a little more, Poe moved his hand so that it would play with the hair hanging over Hux’s ear. He twisted the strand softly, gave it a little tug, and then tucked it back in place with the other strands. He truly hoped that such a manipulative person like this Marcus had found an untimely, unfortunate end to life, but he hoped even more that Hux was able to escape his clutches at an earlier time. But judging from the scars adorning the redhead’s wrist, he was sure that wasn’t the case.

Hux tilted his head into the comforting touch. How long did he stay? Too long. Too late. By the time that he had finally left, the galaxy had shattered around him and stars had fallen to break on the earth around his feet. He was a soldier, himself, but...he needed to be more. He needed to have been the cold General that he turned into. But, at that time, he was still too young to have been so cynical about everyone around him and so willing to pull a trigger to end a life.

"Two years," the ginger answered. "Not two and a half years after his first...Marcus and I were together for a total of...almost five years, starting in our first year of schooling." Fuck, he had wasted so much time. With that thought Hux shook his head, disgusted at himself. "One night, he got angry and threw a bottle against the wall behind me. He left, came back crying and saying that he was sorry...A few days later, he shoved me into a wall...A few days after that, he hit me."

Green eyes turned away. He was so broken. So stupid for not walking away. So blinded by his heart that his mind rationalized the abuse as accidental...as his own fault. It was his fault. He shouldn't have made him angry...

Hux stared at his own lap as he pushed forward. "We got into a fight...about...a few weeks later and he...grabbed me and said that if I ever thought about leaving he would...would lock me up so I could never..." His voice broke as his jaw trembled. "I'm sorry." He didn't know what he was apologizing for, but it was about to get worse. He knew how the story ended. Poe didn't. Not yet.

"I only tried to leave once...and he," he stopped again, the tears in his eyes coating his lashes and making slow lines down his face. "He caught me before I could. Told me I had nowhere to go. That no one cared...and...he...and he dragged me up the stairs..." He could still feel the tight grip, could still his own angry and terrified shouts. He could feel the floor against his cheek from when he was dropped at the top of their ascent. "And...he took me into...the...our room." His breath shook. In his mind's eye, he could see it all so clearly. He could feel it, like a phantom's breath. He had tried to fight, but wasn't strong enough. Tried to get away, but wasn't fast enough. He wasn't _good_ enough and that only pushed him in life to gain power, demand control and order, and lash out against all who stepped out of line.

He had _begged_ and pleaded that night, but it fell on apathetic ears. He had screamed for it to stop, cried for it to have never happened to begin with. The ginger twisted to hide his face in the crook of Poe's neck. "My fucking fiance raped me."

The pilot didn’t react instantly to the sudden face pressed warmly into his neck. He was still trying to process the bomb dropped of Marcus raping Hux. Rape was one thing Poe stood against so intensely that he felt his body stiffen, his jaw clench, out of pure anger. But the moment he registered that there was a teary face pressed into his flesh, he tried to relax some and twisted fully so that they were chest to chest, and wrapped both of his arms around the redhead’s trembling body.

“It’s alright, let it out,” he whispered into Hux’s ear as a heavy hand traveled up and down his back in a comforting manner. “Shh, I’ve got you… He’s not here.” Unsure if his comforting was actually working, he continued to do so, cooing soft, reassuring words in the distraught recruit’s ear. “You’re safe with me…You’re safe.”

Shutting his eyes, Poe rested their foreheads together and let out a trembled breath. He couldn’t imagine a lover, a fiancé, doing something so brutally extreme. To take a piece of another like that. Especially one you are supposed to love, care for, and protect no matter what. Poe’s grip tightened around Hux as he felt the anger towards this Marcus fella returning once more. He prayed Marcus was dead; if he ever came face to face with him, he’d make sure Marcus felt the same pain he’s put Hux through. Beat him until he’s barely a broken shell of his former self. He didn’t deserve mercy.

Hux - the ice General of the First Order and Commander of the Finalizer - crumbled as Poe whispered reassurances to him and soothed him. He wrapped his own arms around the pilot, fingers clawing into the fabric of Dameron's shirt as he shook and cried for himself - for his loss of childhood at his father's fists, for his loss of support when he awoke from that coma, for his loss of love and trust and all the pain that he went through that he never let himself mourn. All the things that built him into what he was today - the war lord of the stars that demanded unification, because when people were free to do whatever they wanted, he found that they would move forth without remorse. They would hurt and break and if Hux held all the power and control in the galaxy than no one would ever be able to get that close to him again.

Minutes were spent with him tucked, there, against his pseudo-mentor, whimpers and sniffles shaking his frame. He couldn't do this...he couldn't go back and hate this man. He couldn't order anything against him. Not after what they shared with one another. Not after the connection that had bonded them to one another. Not after he had solved five out of the six sides that made up the mystery of this puzzling pilot.

He was signing his own death certificate in the long run, but, now, it didn't matter. He needed this support. Needed someone who understood and didn't try to _fix_ him because he was not in pieces, anymore. He was broken and bent and had more than enough unhealthy habits, but he did not need someone to come in and pretend they knew what was best. He just needed someone who would accept him and be there to pull him back when he got too close to falling off the proverbial ledge.

When he finally pulled back, he wiped his eyes with his sleeve and kept his eyes lowered. "That's why I did that to my arm. It was after...well, that wasn't the only time. But a long time after he...I just...I couldn't take it. I had everything planned out, everything ready...and about two seconds after I did this," he trails a finger over the vertical scar. "I decided that I didn't want to...I didn't want to die a victim. So I called for an emergency droid and...here we are."

“But you made that call.” The breath of relief that accompanied the pilot's words as they slipped out before he could even contemplate stopping it. Even though Hux had pulled back some, Poe made no effort to unwind his arms from around the body still trembling with emotion. He needed this connection, this comfort just as much as Hux did. “You knew, somewhere deep inside of you, even if you didn’t realize it at the time, that you were, and still are, worth _so_ much more than what that asshole did to you. You’re not pathetic, Hux. You’re not broken…You’re not someone’s punching bag, o-or someone’s warm body to spill in whenever they please. No… You are strong. You,” He chuckled sadly, glaring playfully at him. “Are feisty. You stand up for yourself. You don’t take shit from others. You put _me_ in my place more than once…Hux, you have the potential, from what I’ve seen of you at least, to be somebody really important.”

'Not that he wasn’t already,' Poe thought. The redheaded recruit had found that weak point in the Commander's wall and burst through. He was there to stay, regardless of what happened to them once they parted ways after this and went about their day. If they went back to their loathing of one another, even if purely for appearance, Poe couldn’t despise him any longer. Hux was, more or less, cut from the same thread as he was.

No, he didn’t go through the physical abuse and mental abuse that Hux had, but he had his own share of woes and downfalls. They both sought comfort in a relief that was damaging and dangerous for the both of them. And they both seemed to have found an unusual comfort in each other now.

Hux simply being there with him brought a warmth that he had not felt in quite the long time. Physically, yes, the heat radiating from Hux’s lithe body was very welcoming. But there was an internal flame growing as well. Catching the green eyes with his own charcoal stained gaze brought a fluttering warmth to his heart. Was it possible Poe was beginning to develop a tiny bit of emotion towards the ginger? He sure as hell hoped not…

But that inkling was there in the back of the mind. No, they were stuck with one another now, no matter what route their friendship took. And knowing the trials Hux had been forced to go through before, Poe made a vow to himself right then and there to ensure no more angry hands reached him. His mind instantly switched to Rico… He’d make sure to keep an extra eye on him.

The General smiled, uncharacteristically, softly, tears still shining in his eyes like pieces of broken glass. He leaned forward, not trusting his own voice to give his thanks, and hugged Poe tightly. He was as conflicted - now more than before - about what to do about the pilot. He had scaled Hux's walls, knocked on the door, and now had made himself at home behind all of the General's well laid defenses.

But perhaps that's where he was always meant to be. They were mirrors of one another - set up to reflect perfect images of their own lost soul. Even the war saw them mirroring the other's movements every step of the way.

Hux pulled back - this wasn't how it was supposed to happen...but he would be lying if he said that he wasn't glad it turned out this way. On a whim, he pressed his forehead against Dameron's in a way that his mother used to do, when they were alone and his nightmare-ish father was nowhere to be found. She used to whisper him things in her foreign language that were like secrets on her tongue. She used to give him life.

"Chan eil fios agam ciamar a 'toirt taing dhut," he murmured, then translated. "I don't know how to thank you." Jade eyes glanced to the side and then back into the dark depths in front of him. "You have done more for me in a few days than anyone has in my entire life. I--" What he wanted to say, he couldn't. "I hope I can return the favor. Anytime you need me...you damn, cocky pilot." He added teasingly.

The closeness that their current position held had Poe’s breath caught in his throat. Had it been any other situation, and other person, the Commander would not have hesitated to close the very minimal distance and kiss him. The thought alone, though, brought a gentle warmth to his cheeks that he was sure radiated into a blush filled with shyness. “You don’t have to thank me,” he whispered, feeling Hux’s warm breath gust over his lips, causing him to shiver and pull back slightly. Blinking a few times to refocus his gaze, he cleared his throat and nodded.

With a soft, almost nervous chuckle, Poe rolled his eyes. “I’m not cocky. Just…I have a lot of pride in myself.” He grinned, feeling a little less tempted now that they weren’t pressed so tightly against the other. It was a loaded statement, actually. No, he had no pride in himself. Especially not after confessing to everything he did. The pilot exuberated pride which obviously radiated into cockiness, but inside, he was a torn, unsure, self-loathing mess. But he couldn’t let others in on that; he’d be eaten alive. A pilot had to be strong, had to be cunning. Not thinking about sending his Starfighter into a nosedive until he collided with a cement wall.

“I mean it, Hux… We might not have gotten off on the greatest start together and I don’t even know if you want to consider us friends or not… But what I offered you, I meant it. It wasn’t a heat of the moment pity invitation… If ever, _ever_ you get even near that point again, come find me. I don’t care what I’m doing. If I’m in a meeting with Leia, or even off on a mission… Just… Find me, please.”

"You don't have pride in yourself," Hux stated, completely ignoring all other parts of the conversation for the time being. "You're cocky because you overcompensate for how you feel." He watched Poe carefully, now that they weren't pressed together and the ginger wasn't completely overcome by waves of conflicting emotions. "I know you, Dameron, even if you don't want to admit it."

He didn't mean it as a challenge or an insult. Rather, the General knew exactly how it was to put up a front so that no one would ask if anything was wrong. The greatest lie a broken man could ever tell was that he was fine...and people lied all the time. Hux had lost count how many people he had dismissed. How many times he deflected potential friends by cutting them away and tossing them into the wind.

No...he knew exactly what it was like.

Every day, Hux had to walk around with his back straight and head held high. That was his cockiness - his General persona was his greatest mask. If people were too afraid to approach him, they were also too afraid to pry, and that's what he had always wanted. He never wanted someone to seek _him_ out, he wanted to find someone that _he_ would chase. And he did.

"And I already told you that it went both ways," the ginger murmured as he pulled back further. "I'll find you if you find me. It's a yes or a no, but I'm not willing to go half way. Take it or leave it." He drops his gaze, "For better or for worse, you're stuck with me, at least in that regard."

How could Poe deny that? Truly, he could not expect Hux to seek him at his moment of weakness and despair, but allow Poe to remain locked in the void alone. “It’s…” Sighing, he shook his head. He was going to argue and say his situation was a lot more complicated when he sought his own dangerous release. But truthfully, it wasn’t. He was just making excuses for himself now. So with a pained look in his eye and shame etching his features, he nodded. “It’s not pretty, when it happens. I’m warning you now. If--When--No, if. If it happens, and I reach out to you…Nothing I say or do will be from me, do you understand? It’ll be… It’ll be bad… There’s blood. There’s always blood, from the crystals, they, well, they burn as you breathe them in. I’ll be sick. I’ll be completely out of it, if I am even still awake by the time you find me. I’ve never done it here, I’ll tell you that. You have to travel to find it, and usually by the time I get there, I’m so… Desperate, I find a place and just… Do it. Wake up days later and have no recollection of where I am.”

Poe’s words trailed out. Why was he explaining himself to this man? Would he truly seek him if it gets to that point of desperation again? Or was he simply agreeing to appease the redhead and make the deal even? Sighing, he moved forward a bit more on the sofa, leaning closer to Hux in a subconscious effort to secure the warmth the other radiated. His hand lifted to lightly play with a lock of fiery red hair once more, twirling the strand around a stout fingertip.

"You really think that, after everything that I've seen both in my own past and in the war, that a description of a drug will scare me off?" Hux snapped. His eyes flashed when he narrowed them, but they didn't harden. "Let me tell you, Poe, about blood and bad." The ginger had no idea where this sudden strength had come from - perhaps he was just pushed so far past the point of no return with this pilot that adrenaline had started to carry him.

"The night I did _that_ , I tried to stem the bleeding. I wrapped a white towel around my arm and watched it stain all the way through. I was so delirious when they found me that I was watching from out of my body." He softened his features. "When I made those twin marks, I was more careful, but still debated if I actually wanted to survive it. I made them too deep." He sighed as he remembered it all, but was too tired to express any emotion other than a quiet sadness. "You can't scare me away, Poe. That's not how this works."

He let the silence between them hang for a few moments - words suspended in the air above their heads. When he spoke again, it was with a smile and a tilt of the head. This grave feeling around them, the serious tones, all the things they had shared back and forth with one another...it needed to stop. The ginger was exhausted - mentally and emotionally - and wasn't in the mindset, anymore, to stay on such somber topics. "You seem to be highly drawn to my hair, Dameron, did you know that?" He put his best snark forward as he joked, desperate to lighten the mood and get away from this odd closeness growing between them. "Do you have a ginger kink?"


	12. Who Moves First?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note: Smut is coming in the next few chapters. Please note the rating.
> 
> Cheers and love!

The Commander had felt like a child being scolded by someone of esteemed importance. He frowned, turning his gaze away from him with a soft sigh. It was true, everything Hux had mentioned… So why did it feel so difficult? But listening to the redhead’s description of what he had gone through brought a gentle shiver to course down his spine. In his attempt to ward off the other, he had honestly forgotten about the stuff Hux had seen with his own doings. So he nodded in agreement, deciding it best to just leave the conversation at that.

The kink question, however, brought a deep warmth to the pilot’s cheeks. Fuck…

His hand instantly jerked back and he turned away from him, sitting straighter on the sofa with his gaze forward. Last thing he wanted Hux to think was that he was developing any deeper feelings towards the man. They shared a fucked up connection on some things, but he didn’t want to put any other uncomfortable images into either of their minds.

“Wh-What? Wh-Why would you think that?” He swallowed hard, scowling at his own stutter that appeared out of nowhere. “Sorry, no, it’s… It’s a... Mierda, a comfort, sort of… I don’t know. Do you...” he tugged at the neckline of his tanktop, feeling suddenly overheated and uncomfortable. “I didn’t even offer you a drink, do you need a drink? I-I need a drink.”

Standing, Poe wasted no time in walking away from the living room and into the kitchen, feeling his eyes widen the more his cheeks heated. Wow… After everything they had just discussed, everything they confessed to one another, a simple playful jest reduced him to a nervous, stuttering mess.

Hux watched the man hastily retreat from the living room with amusement written across his face. The joke was meant to be all in good fun. He didn't expect the man to have any interest in a relationship of any kind - especially not now. The ginger turned his attention away from the place Poe had disappeared into to instead try and refocus his mind once more. He was tired - exhausted, really - but he wasn't sure if he was ready to leave and go back to a cold room where he had to pretend to be happy and stable and _fine_.

And he really didn't want to be touched and hung off at the moment.

Well, not by...

That was a dangerous thought.

The ginger ran a hand through his own hair, ruffling it slightly while pushing it away from his face. He liked being free to _not_ style his hair and harden it with gel. He understood regulation and the need to conform to standards while he was in command of his armies, but he often missed the natural softness of his red locks.

Carefully, quietly, he followed the Commander's path into the small kitchen area - well, he wouldn't call it a kitchen, but that was probably him just being 'snobby' again. "You know it was a joke, right?" Hux stated as he broke the silence. "I didn't mean it like...I wasn't going for a proposition or anything. And I don't mind it, really." He stopped trying to explain and instead turned so he could lean a hip on the grimy counter nearest him. "But, yes, a drink would be...I could use a drink."

“Obviously it was a joke,” the pilot retorted with heavy sass in his voice. His body stiffened the minute he felt the presence of the other male and he kept his gaze lowered and completely avoiding of him. Moving around in the small, useless space, he tried to avoid bumping into him, though it proved a difficult feat. “An alcoholic beverage of some sorts?” He offered, already reaching for a bottle of aged whiskey for himself. “Or would you rather keep it simple. Some, uh…” Finally turning his head back to gaze at him, he smirked. “Some ginger ale for the ginger?”

Wow, Dameron… That joke could not have been anymore pathetic and immature, could it?

Clearing his throat, he decided to turn his attention back to the task at hand. His cabinets were rather sparse with items, so he reached up for two glasses from the top shelf; the two from the previous night still sitting dirty in the tiny sink he was allowed. In the process, his body stretched and he hand to stand on his tiptoes, forcing his muscles to harden and his tank top to rise up.

Hux can feel his gaze drop to the exposed muscles before the can consciously tell himself to not do so. If he was completely honest - and he wasn't by any means - he would admit that the pilot was attractive - all lean muscle, smooth skin, and graceful movements. The man was basically a sculpture come to life and kissed by the sun. His eyes were the color of the space between stars and sparkled with energy and fire.

And that was enough of romanticized thinking for the night.

The ginger stepped forward, reaching up and over the slightly smaller man to easily take the glasses from off of the shelf. "Did you get a step ladder to put them up there or do you just like a challenge, regardless of whether it's rational or not?" His hand bumped Poe's in the process and he quickly put the cups down and went back to his place against the counter.

His arm still lifted, Poe’s head turned to the side, noticing how close Hux had become once more when their hands brushed. Stepping away from him, he simply rolled his eyes at the playful jest and moved over to the small refrigerator-like storage at reached in for some ice. “Actually, I have an entire assembly line of sassy, smart-mouthed recruits that I keep in the back closet to use as a stepping stool. Would you like to join them?”

Flicking a sarcastic grin Hux’s way, Poe filled both glasses with the frozen substance, then returned to the counter. Though extremely thankful to have someone he could open up to and divulge all of his dirty laundry with, he was grateful to have the atmosphere around them calmer and more at ease.

“You never answered the question, Hux. You feel the need to increase your gingerness? Or are you going to drink like the grown-ups?” He was already pouring the whiskey over his glass of ice, watching the amber liquid fill the glass to the brim. Before he recapped the bottle, he took a swig of it, enjoying the warmth as it moved down his throat.

Jade eyes dropped to the pilot's throat as he swallowed. The General dipped his head slightly and looked away. "I think I'm ginger enough - both in regard to color and sensitivity." He reached over and stole Poe's already poured glass, slipping back out of the kitchen and into the living area.

“Excuse you. Rude!” Poe called out, in pure, amused jest, as the redhead wandered off with his own glass. Grinning faintly to himself, he filled the second glass full of ice with the woody liquor, then recapped the bottle and placed it back in its little alcove, hidden out of direct line of sight.

The paler man glanced behind himself as he walked, deviousness sparking in his mind once more. He made his way back to the love seat, taking a sip of the whiskey before putting the glass down on the coffee table and plopping down so that he was stretched across the couch. He shifted and wiggled around until his back rested against one arm of the couch and his feet were propped up on the other. He reached and picked his glass back up swirling the amber liquid slowly and taking another drink.

As the Commander returned to the living room, he frowned to see Hux spread out on his couch; not because he didn’t want the recruit to feel secure and safe there, but because he wasn’t ready to part with the close warmth. He debated just moving back to his spot, lifting Hux’s legs and forcing himself back onto the sofa, but perhaps this was a subtle hint that the other wanted some space?

Feeling his once-smile fade more, Poe took a seat in the chair and kicked his feet up onto the coffee table in a much more relaxed way. “So, I’m curious. How was Rhys at running the training courses?” It was asked less out of genuine curiosity, but more out of competition to see if he was the preferred pilot to keep control over the recruits.

Hux tracked each of Dameron's movements, trying to decide whether or not this was the reaction he wanted or if he had somehow overstepped some invisible line. He took a sip of his drink before answering, sass still clinging to his voice. "I'm not the best person to ask. More than half the time you were gone, I didn't attend his lessons." The ginger placed his glass on the tabletop before twisting to see the pilot better. "Which I probably shouldn't admit to you, all things considered."

The General hadn't paid attention in the one class he actually made an appearance in, either. Rhys was enthusiastic and charming, in his own friendly way. He encouraged interaction and did his best to remember everyone's name he came in contact with. Except for him. He was always 'Red' in public.

"He's a good teacher. Very observant and easy to talk to - he and Rico got along splendidly because of that. The other recruits seemed to like him well enough. Probably because he didn't make any of them do speeches on the first day of class," Hux was teasing, now, but he followed up the joke with a shrug. "I think everyone was waiting for the 'best pilot in the Resistance' to return, though. Be prepared for hundreds of questions."

As Poe sipped at his drink, he listened and nodded. He could not contain the subdued scowl from making an appearance at the mention of Rico, and he rolled his eyes. It would seem as though Rico was hell bent on making friends with every damn person on base. He couldn't prevent Hux and Rico from forming any sort of friendship and/or relationship, but the thought of the overly cheerful recruit trying to hone in on his best friend, however...that could be stopped.

“Ah, geez…” The Commander hadn’t even considered the slew of questions the other trainees would have when he made an appearance the next morning. He had promised Leia that he would return to his duties soon after his return, but now he was considering allowing himself just a few more days to not do anything. The last thing that sounded enjoyable was facing a firing squad of nosy questions seeking every tiny little detail of the rather simple and short mission he was sent on.

It was eerily comforting to know Hux had decided not to attend every lesson in his short lived absence - it had the smirk reappearing on his lips. “Well, I expect you to report to lessons bright and early tomorrow morning. If I’m stuck being there, then you’re stuck being there.” As the Rebel fighter lifted his glass to his lips to take another drink, he shot the redhead a playful wink over the brim.

Green eyes rolled in reaction to the words and the wink, but the amused smile that played on the General's lips downplayed it. "No promises at all," he snarked a reply, taking his drink back up and sipping on it.

He was, of course, used to much higher quality drinks. His stash on the Finalizer could probably pay for a new and unused X-Wing, but, then, he was born and bred in high society. Just because he was in the military did not mean his tastes would wane or that he would accept anything less than the best, luxury-wise.

"But know that if I'm not in class, I'll sleep in enough for the both of us," Hux gave a secret smile that was hidden in the alcohol as he took another drink. He pulled his legs off the arm of the chair to instead plant them on the floor in front of him. His curiosity spiked again, and he followed the impulse to see what reaction it would bring. The ginger leaned back against the couch and brought one foot and then the other up, crossing them at the ankle, to rest on top of Poe's legs. He took another drink as though nothing was out of the ordinary with the reaction, but kept a sharp gaze on the pilot.

Dropping his gaze down to the weight applied to his legs, the pilot swallowed hard. His grip tightened just slightly more around his glass as he studied the way Hux had made himself much more relaxed and comfortable; at his expense. But, truthfully, he didn't mind at all, not in the slightest bit. But, not wanting Hux to think anything about the situation, especially after his major fail in regards to the ‘ginger kink’ question shot at him earlier, Poe simply shrugged it off and made no mention of it whatsoever.

“Just know, kid. If you decide you do want sleep in, get a few extra hours of rest… You will find me coming to your quarters and waking you up personally.” There _was_ meant to be a playful threat to his words somewhere, but to Poe’s dismay, it came out more as a friendly offering.

Oh, this wasn’t going the way he planned…

Was it possible opening up to Hux and allowing Hux to open up to him took away that edge he had had previously? Deciding he didn’t even want to fathom that idea, he shrugged it off as well and put the blame on the liquor. Before frowning at his glass, realizing he wasn’t even halfway through drinking it; so definitely not the liquor. Force… Rolling his eyes, the dark-eyed male took a big chug of the drink.

"You mean to say I would get a personal wake up call by _the_ Poe Dameron? The pilot all the recruits are pining for?" The ginger placed a hand over his heart in a mock swoon. He jostled the pilot's legs with his own as he dropped the joke with a grin. Taking another sip of his drink, Hux could start to feel the edge of tension in his mind start to seep away.

This was something that the General had not experienced for years - this relaxed conversation and easygoing company. He didn't expect to feel secure around another person, or at least not to the point of being so open. Yes, he was used to interacting with people and he grew up in an environment that taught him at an early age how to be personable and effectively work a room, but this - whatever this was that had formed between the rebel and the spy - was more than just networking. He didn't exactly know what it was, and the thought made his mind cut back to what Organa had spoken to him about and what Rhys had suggested but never verbalized.

He set that thought aside to ponder at a different time. He took another drink and hummed at a new topic idea. "Last time we were like this, we talked about dance. What's your favorite style? Obviously not new age," Hux swished his hips as he referenced all the grinding done in clubs. "Do you prefer ballroom?"

Poe was not expecting Hux to move his hips in such a manner, so when his gaze caught it, his eyes widened significantly and he felt a flash of heat cover his face for a brief moment. “No, no, definitely not new age crap,” he chuckled nervously moments before taking another swig of his drink. “Ballroom is alright, I don’t think I’m fancy enough to do it any justice.” His legs lifted briefly, forcing Hux’s to jostle, and smirked at him.

“Tango. Tango would have to be my number one favorite dance. Well, no, let me rephrase that; _if_ I have the right partner that can keep up, then it is my favorite. But I’ve tangoed with partners with two left feet and it...” Laughing faintly, Poe shook his head, “it wasn’t pretty. I guess other than that one, I would have to say a good salsa. But, then again… With the right partner, a waltz can be more than enticing.”

With his gaze now focused on Hux’s face, the pilot smiled warmly at him. “Is ballroom your flavor of choice?” He could only imagine it to be true; if Hux had grown up attending fancy galas with his Aristocratic family… His mind, beginning to cloud over with the warm haze of intoxication, began to imagine Hux in a fine suit, his body pressed tight against… No, clear that image, don’t even begin to fantasize!

"Ballroom is less of my flavor and more of a forced taste. I grew up on the dance floor, so I had to learn the steps," the ginger responded, uncrossing his legs and then crossing them the other way. "But I know quite a range of styles. Tangos and salsas are something I quite often did with many people."

Hux shrugged, looking down at his drink before swirling it a few times and taking another, longer sip. The edge of tension had completely smoothed away and vanished, replaced by a growing warmth in his mind. He relaxed further and leaned his head back against the cushions as he thought back to all the times he'd danced in his life.

"I prefer the waltz," the General stated as he pulled himself back up so he could sit more comfortably and still look at Poe. "If I have the right partner. The waltz is an intimate dance...it's two people playing off one another completely and fluidly. If you have someone who can't keep up, well, then it loses all grace." He chuckled. "I don't remember the last time I actually danced. I tried teaching other people on the--the planet I was on. Messy."

A laugh filled the space between them as Poe rested his head back against the seat, his eyes fluttering shut briefly. “You want to talk about messy? One time, Rhys and I,” he had to paused to laugh once more, the image of the burly male filling his hazed over mind. “Ah, man…” A third soft laugh happened before Poe shook his head and looked to Hux with a wide grin. “We were at a party Leia had thrown in the hangar. I, of course, was just off to the side, not really paying any attention, so Rhys came up to me. Asking all these questions of why I wasn’t dancing, why I didn’t want to, blah blah blah.”

His grin widened even more, “so I told him, I don’t rub my crotch against other people and call it dancing. Well, long story short, we came back here, to my quarters, both drunk off our asses. And he told me to teach him how I dance. So.”

The pilot motioned at an old fashioned record player he had stashed away on the book shelf, a good selection of records resting up against it. “I put on a good tango. Pushed the furniture out of the way, and--” He snorted his laughter this time, his grin completely overtaking his face at that point. “Tried to teach the fucker how to tango. Oh, Hux. Fuck. You say messy… Try imagining that man stepping _all_ over your feet. I almost dropped him when I went to dip him. And it ended with him in the refresher puking.”

Hux grinned and chortled at the story, watching the way that the smile Poe wore, now, lit up his eyes in a way akin to a spark starting a fire. It was addictive, contagious, and the ginger soon found himself reflecting the smile as intoxication and happiness warmed him completely.

"The last person I tried to teach to dance is a six-foot-four Amazon of a woman," He smiled fondly at the memory. Phasma was one of the few people that had actually came to him at the start of it all, before he broke down and sought her out, the need for a dance partner too great for him to hold off on an offer for long. "She walks around with so much grace and confidence," he chuckled as he spoke. "The first few times were disastrous, with her and I both getting frustrated and walking out."

The ginger laughed at the memory of their constant bickering while in hold. "But she got it, eventually. And she was good." He took a sip. "Now imagine this woman walking up to you, determined and imposing, and saying 'I will not follow anymore' and then taking up the lead position. She got the steps right, but after the first time she tried to do anything fancy, our feet got tangled up," his smile brightened. "And we went crashing to the floor. And I mean crashing and we stayed there and argued about whose fault it was for about five minutes before we just lost it and started laughing."

A brilliantly drunk idea popped into Hux's head when his eyes wandered and landed on the record player again. "We should dance!"

The Rebel pilot was thankful to see the switch of mood in the redhead; the distraught both had recently fallen into seemed to have melted away. There was a much more relaxed atmosphere around them now, something filled with joy and amusement.

The look residing on Hux's face brought a stutter to the Rebel's heart. Watching that natural, golden smile taking over, the skin around his eyes crinkling. Hux looked absolutely.... Breathtaking. And it made Poe sigh perhaps a bit too dreamily. Blaming it on the alcohol, he let the thought linger in his mind.

But the sudden idea of dancing piqued the pilot's interest and he quirked a brow. "You want to... Here?" It was impossible, he confirmed that earlier with his story about Rhys - it simply was not a good dancing area. Regardless, the slighter man sounded as though he could be a great dancer, and Poe had gone far too long without it.

"You're on, Red." He smirked, giving the other male a playful wink, causing the ginger to fake a glare at the use of his colorful nickname, a new challenge frosting in jade eyes. As the pilot stood, he finished the drink in his glass and sauntered over to the record player; he knew exactly what he wanted to dance to. Selecting a record filled with tango music, he set it up and waited for the screeching violins to begin. He turned to face Hux with a heat in his eyes and beckoned him forward with one finger.

At the invitation and beckoning, he knocked back the rest of his whiskey and placed his glass on the table. Hux quirked a brow and shifted his smile into a smirk as he slowly stood. He listened to the beat of the music, stepping over to the Commander in time with it. His own eyes reflected Poe's gaze like mirrors, taking it in and refracting it back in a slightly different form - but one that was nonetheless heated.

When he finally stood, toe to toe, but still apart from Dameron, he waited, wondering what position the curly haired male would choose. They could not both lead the hold, nor could they both follow. While Hux was used to being in control - being the one who guided each step of a dangerous dance - he was not opposed to letting go every once in awhile. After all, a dance could only be enjoyed if both partners were in tune with one another. It only worked if one person moved opposite with the other - it was a balance.

"So," Hux murmured after a few long moments of staring into each other's eyes. "Who moves first?" His happily hazy mind kept talking, even though that one question was probably enough. "Do you move first? Do I move first?" He smiled at his own questions, realizing suddenly how silly they were.

The way Hux approached him made Poe shiver and gooseflesh take over his skin. He licked his lips, gazing up into the green eyes staring at him with a burning heat. His heart continued to beat on a rampage, pulsing his blood heavily throughout his body. The pilot allowed himself a moment to just appreciate the beauty of the male in front on him, starting to sway his body in beat to the music.

As soon as the rest of the instruments kicked in full force, he reached out and wrapped an arm around Hux's waist, tugging him flush against his own body. "I'll take this one, if you don't mind." Lacing his fingers through Hux's, Poe began the intoxicating dance. He moved them around with swift grace, never once straying his eyes from the alluring pair currently captivating his own.

The throbbing of the music blending in with the violins had Poe feeling entirely drunk in the moment. His arm slung around the waist pulled the redhead even tighter against his body until not even a breeze could pass between them. Half-lidded eyes refused to glance away, even as he leaned in, pressing their foreheads against one another's. Hux had staggered as he was pulled forward, but quickly fell into time with the pilot. It took him but a moment to remember the steps and the choreography of the dance. Letting the music dictate his speed, he let the Commander lead his movements, and let the arm around his waist pull him ever closer to his partner. Forehead to forehead, there was no where else to look but into the smoldering, coal eyes.

The ginger let out a small chuckle, a blush painting his cheeks with a dash of rose coloring. The world faded around him until all that was left was the music, the heat, and a clash of jade and onyx. He almost lost his footing on one step, his shoe sliding on a rug and forcing him to put more of his weight onto Dameron to keep from toppling over. His trust was not misplaced and he slipped back into the rhythm in the blink of an eye.

"Come on, Flyboy," Hux teased in a whisper. "I know the basics, show me something more advanced. This is, after all, your dance."

Feeling Hux’s body stumble into his caused the pilot to grunt and tighten his hold around the other in an almost protective manner. His gaze heated, flaring across his eyes, as he gave a simple nod to the teasing challenge. “My pleasure,” he growled before spinning Hux away from him and letting him go all together. Taking a few steps backwards, Poe stood with one hip jutted out and gave his groin a gyrating circular movement as his hands sensually rubbed down the front of his body.

The pilot lifted one hand in front of him and curled it in with another beckoning movement, narrowing his already half-lidded gaze on Hux. As the redhead began to approach him, Poe took the brief moment of lost contact to push back the nearby furniture, giving them much more room to move, and started circling the recruit with almost predatory steps; each in beat to the music.

Finally making that connection with Hux’s warm body again, he slung his arm around his waist then lifted one of Hux’s legs to rest on his side and hooked over his own leg. Their groins pressed together, Poe let slip a faint, nearly whimpered sound, then dipped the other male backwards. Poe was basically laying on top of him as much as he could while still standing and he glared down at him with a newfound desire inside him. Whether it be the throbbing of the music, the alcohol invading his system still, or that connection they seemed to have developed, Poe bent in, pressing their lips together in a tight press.

Hux almost made a joke when one of his long legs was curled around the Commander, instead, he made a soft, broken gasp. The sudden shift in gravity that came with Poe dipping him caused pale arms to wrap around the man's shoulders for support, inadvertently bringing them closer. Almost close enough to--

The General's eyes widened at the kiss. The rational part of him screamed that this wasn't the plan, that this was never going to work once he left, that he should push them away from each other, now, so that when they are _pulled_ away, it wouldn't hurt. That side of his brain was completely drown out by the side of him that tightened his hold on the pilot and slid his green eyes shut. That part of him whispered that this was always where their interactions were headed - that they had been dodging around the cracks in the proverbial ice instead of just letting themselves fall together.

Maybe it was the drink, maybe it was the dance, maybe it was just _them_ , but there was a passion between them. It was more than just simple trust. More than secrets shared, that was certain. Hux trembled slightly, then, teasing and testing, ran the tip of his tongue over the seam of Poe's lips.

The pilot had only realized what he’d done a few moments after their mouths were connected. But at that point, even with the amount of panic and the mental red flashing lights and alarms going off, the damage had been done and there’d be no point in reeling back, pretending it never happened. Or that it was a simple stumble from the dance itself. Regardless of anything his mind was throwing at him, Poe could not deny the insane rush of heat his body felt as soon as Hux began to react to the moment.

He was fully expecting by then for the redhead to pull away, slap him, and take his leave in a rushed manner once again. But when he felt those thinner arms hold onto him tighter and that intoxicating mouth actually deepen the kiss, everything else around them drained away.

The Rebel fighter stood them a bit straighter, out of the pose of the dance, and parted his lips at the seeking tongue that sent a barrage of sparks down his spine. For a brief moment, he allowed his own tongue to roll forward, teasing Hux’s, before closing their mouths once more with a soft smacking sound.

Poe started to kiss the other male with more desire, more need, as he moved their mouths against the other’s, enjoying the sounds their lips made upon breaking. Anytime his lips opened wide enough for his tongue to tease the other’s, a deep groan worked its way up his throat. By now, he had one hand tangled tightly in the fiery red locks while the other gripped the fabric of Hux’s shirt at the small dip of his lower back.

With a moan resonating in his chest, Poe stilled the movement of their lips to simply dip his tongue into Hux’s mouth, twisting his around the others with great desire. The grip in the red hair tightened, forcing the other to tip his head more towards the side so that the pilot could deepen the kiss even further in his attempt to seek as much closeness from his companion as he possibly could.

The tugging grip on his hair, the tongue currently counting his teeth, and the intoxicating heat of the pilot rushed and blended together to form an intense sensation that cause the ginger to shiver. Or maybe it was just Poe, himself, that left Hux completely reeling. The conflict inside his mind stopped the moment the kiss was first deepened and he focused solely on his dance partner.

Were they still just that, now? If neither of them were actually drunk - intoxicated, yes, drunk, hardly - if they were both more or less aware, then where did this leave them?

Hux willingly and eagerly welcomed Poe's advances and the tongue that currently was staking claim to his mouth. His pale hands wandered. One laced its fingers deep into the black, unruly curls that fell around the pilot like a crown. The other had moved to rest on the side of the Commander's neck, feeling the pulse under sunkissed skin while also keeping the man in place.

Each break for breath caused little, soft noises to slip from the General's lips, before they were silenced by Dameron's mouth covering his own. He arched toward the other man, pressing as close to him as he possibly could in their position. A slight whimper - a plea for more, for this - escaped the redhead and brushed against the pilot's skin. As the kiss was interrupted once more, Poe took the opportunity to try and properly catch his breath. Everything about Hux was entirely too intoxicating; from his warmth, to his taste, but most importantly, those small, needy sounds that passed with each break of the kiss. The pilot was beginning to discover that he quite liked those sounds and was curious as to what other noises he could elicit from this man.

Desire was passed between them with each smack of lips. When the ginger finally had enough of not being able to explore very far with his hands, he pulled back, lips still brushing against Poe's as his eyes slid open - darkened with desire. He could wait for them to step away and straighten completely, but that would mean that they had a chance to break apart and think about what just happened. And, really, that was neither of their styles, anyway. With a sassy smile, Hux kicked Poe's leg out from under him and sent them both to the floor.

As the pair went tumbling not-so-gracefully to the ground beneath them, Poe grunted and made an effort to envelope his arms around the other male's lithe body. Almost as if doing so would protect him from harm, even if Hux's little leg swipe was the reason they went down in the first place.

Gazing down at the heated, alluring eyes beneath him, the pilot felt his kiss-swollen lips stretched up into a playful snarl. "If you wanted me on top of you, darlin', all you had to do was ask nicely." His words, though husked with a throaty chuckle, were simply said in jest. He moved one hand to cup Hux's cheek, rubbing his thumb along the flush that painted his otherwise rather pale flesh. His other hand, he rested between them on the redhead's chest, feeling his heavy heart beat beneath his palm.

"But what's the fun in asking, Leannan?" The ginger teased back. It should be impossible for them to be like this - rather, it should be impossible for them to be like this and not have a meltdown that led one or both of them to do something rash.

Well, more rash than what was already happening.

Hux couldn't quite place why he wasn't uncomfortable or scared of being under the pilot. All his past experiences told him to hide, to not trust, to keep everyone at an arm's length, because that was safe and easy and less messy. But part of him - all of him - knew that Poe was different. He mirrored the man's movement and slowly slid the hand that was on Dameron's neck to rest against the Commander's chest. The beat that he found there, just under his fingertips, danced.

The General's gaze dropped to his hand, then back up to the heated gaze above him. He could see the desire taking shape in Poe's eyes as they reflected an image of his own green orbs. His other hand loosened its hold on dark locks of hair to gently pull Poe back into a kiss.

Even though he was greatly enjoying the fiery make-out they were just in, Poe was glad that Hux started the kiss back up with slower movements. It gave him more of a chance to study the recruit’s lips; feeling the way they molded against his, enjoying the soft wet sounds they made when he’d pull back slightly. His tongue decided to seek a bit of exploration on its own as it slid out, tracing the shape of the plump, swollen lips kissing his. Though Hux tasted mostly like whiskey, there was a subtle hint of Hux there too, and it sparked his arousal.

Out of instinct, his hips rolled down, pressing tightly against the body beneath him. If he didn’t put a stop to things soon, his body would begin to react greatly and he wasn’t sure he was quite ready to cross that bridge with his companion quite yet. Regardless, his tongue pressed into Hux’s mouth once more with a heavy groan, the gyrating motion of his hips resuming. Each motion of Poe’s hips drew a whimper from the ginger, mostly muffled against the pilot’s mouth.

But no… He _had_ to stop. This wasn’t… It was the liquor. It was the dance, the talking, the emotions… That’s all it could be, truly. So with a whimper, Dameron pulled back, panting lightly as he brushed a hand through red hair. “So, about that ginger kink…” He chuckled, pecking his recruit’s lips over and over, wishing he never had to part from them.

No matter how badly Poe wanted to scoop him up into his arms, carry him into the bedroom, and have at it on his bed, he _needed_ to stop. It felt wrong, being in this situation with Hux at the moment. After Hux had opened up about his ex-fiancé, confessed to being raped. It didn’t seem right that liquor was involved shortly after along with a very heated, very much wanted make-out. Even though it was so far from the truth, Poe worried that Hux may take it as him taking advantage of him.

Hux huffed a breath – both a laugh at the kink comment and a sigh for their deep kiss suddenly coming to an end. “I think you answered the question,” he murmured between chaste kisses. Both of his hands dropped down to ball in the fabric of Dameron’s shirt that hung over his chest. “Apparently, I have a pilot kink.”

That little voice in his head – the one that told him none of this should have happened – started to whisper again from whatever dark corner that it vanished in.

He was a First Order General, who was lying, tangled, on the floor with a Resistance Commander. More, he was _connecting_ to the enemy – the best pilot that Leia Organa has to offer. He had lost sight of his mission. He was diving in too deep. He knew that he would never leave the Order and Dameron would never leave the Rebels.

For some reason, that didn’t matter. Hux wanted to stay close to his perfect reflection. Wanted to know what this puzzle’s metaphorical green side was. Force…he wanted to know everything about Poe. Wanted the pilot to know everything about him.

The ginger shifted them so that he could place a few kisses under Dameron’s jawline and near the top of his neck before lying back and gazing up at the man. “I may have ruined our tango.”

“May have?” The pilot laughed, his gaze still warm, but with significantly less heat to it. He had forced himself to calm down, that fear of Hux getting the wrong impression of him too great to ignore now. But hearing that joke returned about him having a pilot kink flared his arousal once more and he smirked. “Problem is, there are more than enough pilots here for you to work your kink out on.”

Gripping Hux’s waist, he suddenly flipped them so that he was lying on his back with the recruit straddling his waist. His hands rested heavily on Hux’s thighs, giving them a soft massaging squeeze. “And there is but one ginger on this entire base.” And that’s all Poe needed. Ginger kink or not, he didn’t want to part from Hux anytime soon.

“One ginger who just happens to be sitting right here, in my living room. Lucky me.” It was nearly laugh worthy to think how far they’ve come in the few days they’ve known each other. Poe couldn’t help but wonder now what it would be like outside his walls. He deeply believed that Hux would not keep his mouth shut when it came to public sassings and if Poe were to be honest with himself, he wouldn’t want that.

The sass, the sarcasm… It was what gave Hux that appeal. Had he been a meek, shy little mouse amongst a group of rats, Dameron would have simply passed by without giving the other male another thought.

The General gazed down at the Commander, pausing for a moment to simply take the sight of the other man in. Poe had a blush that lingered on his cheeks, though whether that was from the exertion of their dance or for another reason was unknown. His unruly hair had fallen out of place, the curls now free to do as they please. The man’s unblemished skin was golden – as if he was _made_ from sunlight. His black eyes were calm, but heated – revision: they were controlled, not calm.

Hux trailed his fingers from where he sat on Dameron’s waist up to the man’s shoulders, feeling each outline of muscle on his ascent. He leaned forward, shifting so that he could rest with his forearms planted on either side of the pilot’s head. He moved to whisper, teasing and snark coming back to his tone, directly into the other man’s ear.

“I hate to break the news to you, Flyboy, but I’m not just the only ginger in this base, I’m the only one on this planet.” He bent his head to press a kiss to Poe’s throat, just over his pulse point, then one lower, where his shoulder and neck meet. After, he move back to hover over the dark-haired man’s lips. “Lucky you, indeed.”

The General took one moment to consider why the pilot's heated gaze had cooled before it suddenly hit him like a blaster fire. "Oh." He pushed himself up a bit, putting a few inches between them. "I..." He stopped, finding his words before starting again. "This isn't compensation for you listening. Nor is it you taking advantage of someone who's had a traumatic past, like yourself." The ginger swallowed, brushing one hand through Poe's hair. "This is me choosing." 

Poe’s mind was filled with a fiery haze that lingered from the kiss placed near his shoulders. With that being one of his weakest spots, he fought back the whimpered moan that threatened to escape, still desperately clinging onto the idea of ending this before it could get started into something more. But Hux shot that idea down quicker than he could even contemplate how to make it work.

“Oh, thank fuck…” He growled, reaching up to thread his fingers through Hux’s hair once more. Pulling him back down, he had their lips meet with need yet again. He used his lips to move the other’s mouth, no longer being shy or conservative about his actions.

The hand still resting on the recruit’s thigh began to grip him tighter, feeling the muscle beneath his palm. But it slowly moved up and rested on his hip before his calloused fingertips slid beneath the fabric of his shirt. Feeling the smoothness of Hux’s waist, he gave the area a soft squeeze, then allowed his hand to begin its ascent up over his warm, toned lower stomach.

Everywhere his hand touched, Poe could picture it perfectly. That lithe body, the creaminess of his skin. He could only imagine the vast difference between the pale complexion and fiery red hair that adorned the male’s body in other places. He craved to know if Hux had any freckles he could nibble, any little scars that needed special attention.

“Then riddle me this, Red…” His voice was gruff with arousal as he briefly lifted his hips, seeking more friction. “You can’t only go by 'Hux.'”


	13. Tell Me What You Want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note: This is where things start getting explicit.
> 
> Please mind the rating.
> 
> Cheers and Love - xoxo

Hux was shivering slightly – the warmth of Poe’s exploratory hand left a trail of fire in its wake and the small grinding of his hips sent a flare of desire straight through him. He was tempted to not answer the question. There was a lot of power in a name, and wouldn’t it be safer for them to eventually part only knowing half of one another?

That was a poor excuse and the ginger knew it. They were already in each other’s heads. They had connected on a level that was much deeper than just physical attraction. They made fucking promises to call one another if they ever needed to fall back on their own, unhealthy versions of relief, for Maker's sake. Setting all that aside, the General was sitting astride the pilot with the man’s hand partially up his shirt. They weren't exactly unfamiliar with one another.

The redhead shifted his weight so that one of his hands was free to trace back over Poe’s chest. He pulled free of the hold on his hair, leaning back down to press a few kisses against the pilot’s shoulder, neck, and collarbone – moving the man’s shirt out of the way by pulling on the neckline.

“My name,” Hux whispered as he moved upward again, his own hips instinctively grinding downward. “Is Armita--" He cut himself off. That was the name is father gave him and he'd be damned if he let anyone call him it again. "No. It _was_ that. It's Gavin. My name is Gavin. Math coinneachadh riut, Poe Dameron.”

“Nngh… Gavin…” The foreign words spoken to him with the heat coursing his veins from the teasing kisses and the erotic friction from Hux’s hips had Poe’s body reacting very quickly to the moment. “Mmm, oh Gavin…” His hand continued to move upwards until his palm covered one of his pecs, feeling the softened nub hiding behind it. Maneuvering his hand beneath the shirt, the pilot pinched the nipple between this thumb and forefinger and gave it a slight tug, then rolled it delicately until it began to harden.

“Gavin...” He whispered again, tipping his head back against the thin carpet he was laying on. Doing so allowed Hux much more room to navigate his neck. “Gavin…” The more he whispered the other male’s name, the more it started to come out with that little twinge of accent to it. He was feeling entirely consumed by the heat the redhead was bringing him, deciding not to dwell on anything else at the moment.

Removing his hand from Hux's shirt, Poe lightly smacked the hand holding his neckline away and worked to pull his top off all together. He needed Gavin's hands to touch him, to explore him, to kiss as much as he wanted. Every press of his lips to his skin left behind a burning reminder, causing him to shiver and groan. When he finally got the fabric pulled free, he tossed it aimlessly away, then settled both hands on the thinner hips, helping to grind him down against him once more. 

Feeling the clothed chest and finally being able to see it, press his fingers against the bare skin, were very different things. Hux groaned as Poe directed his hips and for a moment he just let himself feel the sensation. Then he came back to life. Jade eyes and pale fingers mapped Poe's torso like a cartographer, tracing over the hard lines he found, the hills and valleys of his muscles, the sun-kissed, golden skin that was barely marked by scars, even in the middle of a war.

"Fuck, you're gorgeous," the ginger murmured, bending to lightly nip at Poe's collarbone, now that he could see it properly and moaned at the way Poe's accent wrapped around his name like a caress. He dipped further, ghosting hot breath against one of Poe's nipples before placing a teasing lick over it.

He suddenly missed the way that Poe's hands felt on his chest, teasing his own nipple, rubbing his skin. The General sat up and pulled his shirt off, dropping it beside them in a way that went against his normal tidy behavior - though part of him still mentally cringed at the crumpled fabric.

There was no preparing the pilot for the electrifying sensation that Gavin's mouth brought to his body from the simple teasing lick he received. It had him arching up as best as he could against the mouth, straining through a contained groan. In the process, his fingers dug just a little bit deeper into the now exposed waist, his hips lifting up once more, lifting Hux up with him. With the creamy chest now fully visible for him to see and touch, Poe gazed up through half-lidded eyes; ecstasy clouding over his vision. Both of his hands began to slide upwards from where his pants hugged his hips, watching as tanned fingers dipped into the pale flesh. It was such a vast contrast between their shades of skin, causing Poe to feel even more aroused by this man.

“Te quiero, mi sol…” The pilot breathed out, totally entranced by his hands moving up the slender torso. “Me vuelves loco… Ay dios mio, Gavin…”

With his hands creeping up, they finally reached both of his nipples once more. He wasted no time in securing both between his forefinger and thumb, then began to toy with them; alternating every so often between slight tugs and gentle pinches.

The ginger gasped and shivered as Poe spoke to him in the foreign words that just sounded like poetry - each inflection a different rhyme, each break in speech, a new stanza. Hux's exploration was stopped abruptly at the feeling of the pilot's fingers and he bowed his back to arch into the tan hands on his chest. Hux ground his hips downward, rocking against the man beneath him. His breathing was ragged and a flush had taken a permanent residence on his cheeks. He gazed down at the man, reaching out with a pale hand to feel his heartbeat, fingers splayed over his ribs. They were such a contrast - ying and yang - in many ways.

"Thu...mo Dhia...'faireachdainn math. Dhràibheas sibh dhomh chuthach, gaol," the words fall from the General's mouth before he can take the time to translate them. He curved his body forward, shuddering, as Poe's fingers tease and cause his nipples to harden.

He leans back down, moving their hips together, still, as he nuzzles Dameron's cheek with his own before whimpering in the man's ear and pulling away to kiss him once more, pulling back to look at the man though lust-filled eyes. "Feuch, a dh'fheumas mi...tha mi ag iarraidh...cuiribh. Please..."

It didn’t matter what Gavin was saying behind the mask of those intoxicating words; so long as he spoke them in that language, Dameron would turn into a puddle at his feet. For all he knew, Hux could have been calling him every dirty name in the book. It didn’t matter, though. The way he spoke them through gasps and breathy pleas was enough to have Poe’s groin finish hardening.

The word ‘please’ however caused his actions to halt. “Please?” He husked, gazing up at the flushed man on top of him. “Please, what?” Gripping his waist once more, Poe rolled to the side, taking his place back on top of Hux. With one arm, he reached down to have Gavin bend his knee and rest it against his side, allowing him proper room to settle. His hips rocked forward, their groins pressing fully.

“Please… Stop? Keep going?” The pilot hadn’t meant for that desperate tone to hang off of every word; he didn’t want to sound so whiny, but Force did he need Hux at that point. “¿Por favor, qué? Dime, Gavin. Hablame.” Even if Hux had spoken his agreement to this earlier, Poe still did not want to proceed without the go ahead once more. He wanted him to feel safe and secure, not pressured or rushed into anything.

The ginger arched off the floor to meet the pilot’s downward grinds. He braced his hands on Poe's shoulders. Only half of the man's words made any sense to him and he made a soft noise at the other language. Those words and sounds falling from sinful lips were enough to make him quiver. He bit his bottom lip as he felt the evidence of Dameron's mutual lust and desire rubbing against his own.

"If you...mo Dhia...if you stop, now...so help me, I will rewire every part of your damn X-Wing so that it will only work for me," Hux growled, writhing beneath the pilot, and desperate for more. "Mo ghràdh, mo ghrian..." The ginger's mind started supplying words without his permission, again.

The General's hands slowly traced up to the Commander's jawline and he realized, there, in that moment of heat and lust and the start of some other warm emotion that he wasn't willing to ponder, that this one man - this Resistance pilot - had just made him fail all his objectives. Keep out of sight? Too late. Get in and get out? Long gone. Focus only on the information? It didn't matter. Don't lose sight on the goal? He didn't care. Don't get attached? How could he not? Don't get too close? Well...he was prepared to break that last objective very soon.

Was this happening? Truly..? The recruit from the first day that angered Poe in ways he never thought possible - Stood him up on his own pathetic, childish challenges, and forced him to take a mission in the beginning of his training courses _just_ to take a break from _him_? Was this the same man now pinned to his floor beneath him, writhing and nearly begging for him to take him? Just that simple thought had Poe’s cheeks flooding with evident heat.

“Usted es tan bella como la luna sobre el océano,” the whispered words fell from parted lips as Poe placed a chaste kiss to the hollow beneath Hux’s ear. His tongue flicked out, trailing up along the outer shell before he nibbled on the lobe. “Una belleza pálida…” Moving further down, he began to nibble over the pulse point on Gavin's neck. “Gavin… La luz de la luna no es nada en comparación con usted….”

Though he wanted nothing more than to leave his mark behind on pale flesh, Poe decided against it. This time. His mouth continued to travel further south, dotting his collarbone with suckling kisses before finally seeking a nipple. Swirling his tongue around the sensitive nub, his hands began fussing with the belt Gavin currently wore, sneering when his desperation made his movements more comical than anything.

The ginger undulated beneath the black-haired man, pressing up against Poe's mouth. "Dia, loisg thu...mar a 'ghrian as t-samhradh...Fuck, Poe...thu...cuiribh cho blàth. Cho math. Earbsa thu," Hux returned, two languages clashing that sounded so different and only could be translated by the one who spoke it. "Feumaidh tu. Ag iarraidh oirbh." He keened as the pilot's mouth continued to tease sensitive skin and half-chuckled at the man's attempt to unloop his belt. Gavin's own hands glided over the top of Dameron's back, drawing abstract patterns into his parchment-colored skin.

"Feuch, mo ghrian dubh, mo dubhadh," he pleaded, hands falling away from Poe to reach down and undo the man's buckle with slender, dexterous fingers before batting the pilots hands away and unfastening his own. Hux pulled the pilot's face back up to him and surged upwards for a kiss, and finally found a way to translate his last words. "Please...my black sun...my eclipse."

He needed this. Wanted this. He was always so in control. Always the leader. He so desperately needed to have someone else - no, more than that - he needed _Poe_ to take it. He needed someone he could trust, someone he cared for and who cared for him.

He kissed the Commander again and then snickered, playfulness flurrying in his eyes. "Please don't tell me we're doing this on the floor like street-folk. Have some class, Dameron."

Poe had never wanted to learn a language so badly in all his life. Whatever Hux was saying had him shivering to the core. His body flushed, skin covered in small bumps, he allowed the alluring language to increase his movements, adding more arousal and desire behind each rut against Gavin's body. But he pulled back, leaning up, and chuckled. “Oh, I’m sorry. I was kind of thinking you had a thing for the floor. Considering our painful collision with it earlier.”

The pilot gave the recruit no time to retort, though, as he was standing, his heated gaze locking on the other male once more. In a swift movement, he lifted Gavin up in the bridal hold, giving his lips a rough kiss, then began to move them towards his bedroom. Kicking his door open with his foot, he smirked rather cockily, and dropped him down onto his large, comfortable bed. The way he bounced slightly caused Poe to chuckle, and he made quick work of removing his belt altogether. Then getting Hux’s out of the way, he let both drop to the floor before crawling back on top of him.

“Now, where was I…” Poe teased, his lips once more finding the already hardened nipple. After giving it a quick suckle, he decided to continue on his path, and began to leave a damp trail of nibbles down Gavin’s stomach. When he reached his navel, he lifted his head enough to gaze up at him, smirking as his tongue swirled around the bellybutton. All the while, his hands slowly began to work open the other lad’s pants, pulling the zipper down with slow, teasing movements.

The show of strength - or perhaps it was just how easily Poe seemed to be able to lift him - increased the ginger's desire exponentially. He cried out slightly when Dameron's tongue teased around his navel, sending little spark of pleasure outward in its wake. Hux has never seen something so captivating as the man staring up at him. The way his cocky smirk still sat on his kiss-red lips. The way his eyes expressed every emotion that he felt. The way his golden skin was tinged pink at his cheeks...

Hux swallowed as his zipper was finally pulled down completely. He kicked off his shoes and toed off his socks. His breath shuddered as he whispered. "Cho breagha..."

The ginger let his head fall back and eyes close for a moment, pale fingers carding through dark hair as he bites his bottom lip and simply enjoys the sensations washing over him. Until, of course, his mind clicks again, and he chuckles, his soft laughs breaking him out of the trance he had been in for a few moments.

Hux rose up on his elbows, sassy smile back on his lips as he wrapped his fingers around Poe's jaw, pulling him back upward. "Did you just carry me across the threshold like a bride after her wedding? I'm touched. I am. Glad to know I picked a good man." The General's smile was teasing and bright - he wasn't sure how he could still joke at this point, but it took the tense edge off of him - and his hands wandered to the pilot's zipper as he held the man's gaze.

Long fingers slipped under trousers to trace over Poe's boxers. "I'm almost surprised you don't just forgo underwear." His hand moves away to rest on Dameron's lower stomach.

“Don’t sound so shocked, Gav.” Poe’s words were gruff, but full on sincere playfulness. Feeling a shiver run down his spine from the daring hand of his soon-to-be lover, the pilot grunted and bent in to kiss his with more need. “Maybe next time I’ll forgo the boxers, just for you.”

Without any warning, the Commander rolled off the warm, alluring body and stood, towering over him with a ferocious heat to his gaze. His onyx eyes took in every single detail that he possibly could before finally focusing on the evident bulge that just needed to be freed. Moving to the foot of the bed, Poe reached out and bent over slightly to finish undoing Hux’s pants completely. In a swift, confident, almost fluid motion, he had the redhead fully undressed for him and his eyes widened at the breathtaking sight before him. “Oh, wow, darlin’….” He breathed out, memorizing the way the way kinky red curls sat in a tuft at the base of his erect prick.

For a fleeting moment, Hux had the impulse to cover himself as those burning coals made their way down his body - drinking in every detail, every freckle, and, finally, pinning him with a molten gaze. Before he could decide whether to act or reject the impulse, Dameron was rejoining the redhead on the bed.

Though his movements were somewhat slowed at this point, almost predatory in the way he knelt back on the bed, Poe reached out. His roughened, shorter fingers wrapping ever so lightly around the firm thickness as he began to bend in. His lips, teasing, began to kiss on the inner side of Gavin's thigh, purposely doing nothing more than just holding his arousal, wanting him completely and utterly on the brink by the time they finally merged into one.

Hux made a sound - a half-formed word that didn't sound Basic or Gaelic - when lips contacted the sensitive skin on his inner thigh and fingers wrapped around his length. He whimpered as he ground into the tan hand, the friction causing a delicious ripple of pleasure to travel up his spine. He could feel the fabric, now, of the pilot's pants as they rubbed against his skin, adding another sensation. "Dia, Poe," he breathed, legs falling open slightly further to accommodate the man between them.

Dameron reminded him of a panther in his predatory movements - slow, fluid, purposeful. Dark gaze full of desire and hunger, lips curled into a small smirk. Gavin made a small noise and rolled his hips upward. Before fixing a similar smirk onto his own lips. "Like what you see, Poe?"

Hux lifted one of own hands to trail down his pale body from neck, to collarbone, to chest, to waist, and, finally, to its destination, where fingers tapped the back of the pilot's hand on his prick. He kept his green eyes locked with the Commander's dark ones. He bit his bottom lip, slightly, as he shifted tactics. "Please?"

A simple roll of the eyes and an increase in smirk was the only answer Hux got in response to his question. The light tapping on his hand, however, made Poe pull back and glare at him as though he had broken a trance. “Please… _What_?” He teased, his lips barely ghosting over the tip of Hux’s cock. Winking at him, he flicked his tongue out along the slit, then moved his mouth back to the inner thigh.

His hand, however, painstakingly slow, began to move up the length of the recruit’s prick, stalling with a firm grip directly beneath the crown. His thumb swiped up, brushing over the sensitive head as he gave a bit of a tighter squeeze. Another swipe, then another squeeze and Poe finally felt the first tiny little drop of pre-cum push out. That caused his smirk to widen even more. Nibbling against the creamy flesh, Poe finally bit down. His lips nearly suctioned to his leg as his mouth began to suckle, drawing blood up to the surface. Once he felt the heat pooling against his tongue, he began to move his hand in swift tugging motions, giving Hux that friction he sought after earlier.

“Tell me what it is you want, Gav,” the pilot whispered after pulling away from the hickey with a slight popping sound. He lifted his head enough to gaze at his almost-lover, that heat pooling all around his body flashing across his eyes, making the onyx even darker.

Hux's hands had fallen to the bedding the moment Poe had finally grabbed his cock. They balled tighter and tighter into the sheets the more he was teased and he writhed as the pilot's mouth sucked a mark into the sensitive skin of his inner thigh. He tried to buck into the Commander's hand - to force his milking actions to actually turn into lengthy strokes, but he didn't have the leverage.

"mac a...dìreach...cuiribh, Poe," Gavin groaned as the man stared up at him. Something flashed in his jade eyes and suddenly he was shifting and sitting up and knocking Dameron off balance so he could roll them and straddle the pilot once more.

The ginger leaned down, tantalizingly slowly, and kissed his way from the other man's jaw to his ear. "What do I want, leannan?" He whispered. "I want those damn pants off you." He moved away, nipping and kissing down the pilot's neck, he paused to hover over a pulse point. "I want you, between my legs." Hux moved downward to lick across a sculpted collarbone, hands slipping down Poe's sides as slowly as his mouth's descent on his chest.

His tongue swirled around a nipple, teeth grazing the nub in a teasing bite before Gavin gently sucked on it and then continued his path. "I want you to work me open with your fingers until I'm begging for you." Hux shifted farther back, tangling his legs with the pilot's so he could continue downward. He stopped to lick a circle around Poe's navel, feeling the muscles ripple under the man's golden skin. "I want you to fuck me until I can't remember my own name."

Poe was _not_ expecting such a sudden change in position; both physically and mentally. He had fully planned on teasing at least one orgasm out of Hux before finally succumbing to his own desires and fucking him. But damn… The way the redhead was handling him had Poe’s stiffened prick pulsating, dampening the fabric of his own pants with a few sticky clear drops of his own. He was entirely caught off guard and for a brief moment, felt like a little virginal boy; having no idea where to put his hands. The tanned hands gripped desperately at the sheets, forcing the bedding to bunch up into his palms. But then one shot down and tangled in heavily messed up red locks while the other clawed at Hux’s shoulder.

Suddenly, however, the General sat up, crawling back over his soon-to-be lover until he could whisper once more. "Is that enough of an answer, _Commander_?"

As soon as Hux returned to him, the pilot groaned, already missing the kisses being left in various places. “You have no idea…” Poe’s voice came out strained as he resisted the urge to flip him and drill into Gavin's warm body. Horny as he might be, there had to be _some_ restraints...At least at first.

Gripping the slender waist, Dameron flipped them once again, but didn’t linger very long. He slid off the bed, standing at the foot with a heated gaze locked on the alluring body waiting for him. His hand grabbed his own erected groin through his pants and gave it a few teasing squeezes as his eyes once again studied as much of his lover’s body as they could possibly take in. “So fucking beautiful, did you know that?” The tip of Poe’s tongue slid out, moistening his own lips before he bit down on the bottom swell.

“Quiero hacerte el amor…” Of course, Poe had a thousand different ways to tease and please his newest lover. And he had wanted to impress with every single move he could think of. But the heat of the moment was too grand, and the more he groped his own crotch, the more desperate he was getting. So he huffed and walked over to his nightstand to begin digging around it in, finally producing a small vile.

He dropped the vial onto the bed and locked gazes with the deep green eyes he was beginning to fall for more and more. “Was kind of hoping you'd rip these off of me,” he teased, unbuttoning the top of the pants. Hooking his fingers in the waistband, he slowly pushed them down, exposing the dominant V-line leading down to a tuft of kinky black curls; the bulge of his erection far more visible now.

Hux's eyes flickered to the bottle and then back to the man who had dropped it onto the bed. His breathing had sped up again, heartbeat pulsing in his ears. Fuck, he wanted Poe. Wanted to give himself over to the man and let the pilot work his magic until they were both too tired and too sore to move. He swallowed once before that spark appeared back in his eyes as he slid over so that he was seated on the edge of the bed.

"Dùn do chab. Feumaidh mi mi fhìn a h-uile càil a dhèanamh?" He teased in his language, watching as Poe reacted to words that he didn't understand. The General could confess everything to this man and he'd never know. Then, again, Gavin hardly understood anything that Dameron said when they weren't speaking Basic, either.

Pale fingers traced the V of the pilot's hips, trailing down as he teased the skin. "You are stunning," he whispered as his fingers replaced the pilot's on the waistband of the darker man's pants. He pushed the man's trousers and boxers down far enough for gravity to do the rest of the work.

Green orbs flicked down to the pilot's cock and he bit his bottom lip. "Impressive," his smirk returned as he wrapped a hand around Poe's erection and stroked it from base to tip, trailing his fingers downward to repeat the motion once more before letting him go and moving further back on the bed.

Gavin reclined back on his hands. A coy look overcame him and he bit his lip again, legs spreading slightly for the pilot in invitation. "How do you want me?"

A shuddering groan shook the pilot’s body as his cock finally received that very much craved touch. Looking down at Hux sitting on the edge of the bed, stroking him, gave his length another throb and he nearly cried out. But he swallowed down the sound and watched the recruit take up his place on his bed once more.

“Estirada sobre mi pene y gritando mi nombre…”

Two could play the language game. The smirk overstretching his lips once more, Poe crawled back onto the bed with almost hunter-like motions. He snatched up the small glass bottle in the process and popped open the cork, exposing a liquid inside. Laying on his side beside Hux, he swiftly flipped him over so that Hux was leaning back against his chest on his side as well, then poured an ample amount of the personal oil into his palm.

To spread it over his fingers, he first reaches down and started to jerk Hux’s cock with quickened movements, completely covering his prick in the oil. In the process, he spread it throughout his fingers, slicking them enough for him to use. He leaned in, beginning to nibble on Gavin's ear as he released his prick and, instead, moved the tip of his forefinger to press against his lover’s entrance.

“I said…I want you stretched over my cock and screaming my name…” Poe growled the words into the ginger’s ear as he slowly began to press one finger into him, unable to stop the groan of approval after feeling how tight he was. “Ah, fuck, Gavin…” Licking his lips, he began to move his finger in and out of him, slowly picking up speed, but starting off relatively slow to give the other male’s body some time to adjust to the intrusion. 

The words caused another shiver to run through the General before he was pulled against Poe. His back arched and a hand reached behind him to rest on the pilot's hip. He whimpered, the slow press of Dameron's finger into him and the imagery brought forth by the translation had Hux's shoulders curling forward as small sounds of pleasured anticipation escaped him. It had, of course, been a while since Gavin had even thought about being fucked. So, the first few thrusts of the pilot's finger were slightly uncomfortable - well, less uncomfortable and more just out of place. He breathed and relaxed, gasping happily when Poe's preparations increased their speed. He shifted his weight forward slightly and moved his hand to the bedspread in front of himself to act as a balance

Hux mewled and somehow managed to husk in a more or less steady tone, "Cuiridh mi geall dh'fhaodadh tu a dhèanamh rium sìol dìreach le do chorragan," his voice broke on a few syllables as he shifted his top leg to give Poe more room.

He turned his head so he could gaze at Poe. "I...s-said...that I bet you could make me cum just with your fingers," he translated with a quirk of his brow. He pressed backward slightly against the pilot's finger. "Take that as you will, Flyboy, the night is young."

With the way the words were falling so breathtakingly from Hux’s intoxicating lips, Poe was certain he would be able to cum without even being touched again. Everything about this man was driving him to the edge; his warmth, his presence in general, the smoothness of his body, the marks that others would deem imperfections on him… Literally, everything. He suckled the lobe of Gavin's ear into his mouth, teasing it with both tongue and teeth.

“Desafío aceptado,” he growled as his finger fully pressed into him, all the way up to his knuckle. Giving it a quick curl, he searched for the spot within his new lover that would cause him to see stars. But he then abruptly pulled out with a low, deep chuckle. “Challenge accepted…” He growled in Basic speak, his mouth now attaching itself to Hux’s neck.


	14. Verde, Green

“Challenge accepted…” Poe growled in Basic speak, his mouth now attaching itself to Hux’s neck.

Though his middle finger now began to tease the ringed entrance with the tip, Poe made sure not to let it slip in fully. He did, however, press in just enough to have the redhead feel it. Yet, once again, he pulled away and knelt, straddling the long, slender legs. The ginger moaned shakily as the dark-haired man attacked his neck with hot lips before, suddenly, Poe's touch vanished from his body. "Cuiribh--please!" He panted, first in his own language and then again in their shared one. "Tuilleadh, cuiribh!"

Dameron flipped the slighter man over onto his stomach, then forced him to lift his ass with a few pulls and nudges, giving him an utmost perfect view. As the General was maneuvered around and put on display for the pilot, a flush covered his face. A small sound fell from his lips - he was slender, yes, but not exactly small. The fact that Poe could manhandle him like this sent sparks up and down his spine.

The Commander had to allow himself a moment to properly appreciate the swells Hux’s body graced him with. “How did I not notice this before..?” He muttered, more to himself than anything, as both hands greedily grabbed and massage the pale ass cheeks. “Mierda, mi amor.” Poe was completely entranced by the image, unbelieving that his cock could possibly get any stiffer than it currently was.

Parting the cheeks, he held one apart, exposing Gavin's entrance as he pressed both his middle finger and forefinger into his lover’s body. He watched with a heated gaze as both his digits seemingly disappeared within the tight walls. “Oh mierda, oh mierda..!” His words were panted as he began to scissor his way in and out of the lithe body, working to not only stretch that ring of muscle, but also to elicit the most pleasure that he could. Pushing deep within him, he turned his palm upwards and curled his fingers once again.

The redhead let his forehead rest against the sheets and gasped as the fingers pressed deep into him and stretched him open. He had just gotten used to the push-pull of the pilot's thrusts when they suddenly shifted and--

"Fuck!!" Hux cried out, fireworks lighting up behind his eyes. He moved, bringing his hands to more firmly plant themselves under him and raising up to rest his weight onto his forearms. He made another broken sound low in his throat and bowed his back toward the bed. "Tha, mo ghràdh. Fuck, thu foirfe." His mind short circuited, rebooted, and forgot how to speak most words in Basic for a long few thrusts of Poe's fingers.

The General dropped his head forward onto his arms and clenched down on the pilot's fingers experimentally. He groaned again, spreading his knees apart instinctively. "Mo ghràdh..." His voice trailed off - his lilting accent coating every word, now, in a way that he wasn't certain even anyone in the First Order would recognize.

He grit his teeth against the pleasure that spiked through him. "Mo ghràdh, you don't--ah!--you don't have to be so gentle and cautious." Gavin raised up enough to glance over his shoulder. "Trust me, I will tell you if it's too much."

The redhead was starting to impress Poe more and more with each passing moment. Smirking, he pulled back the hand currently groping the fleshy cheek and gave it a swift smack. "How hard do you want it, baby? Hm?" The fingers concealed within his lover's body curled once again against that spot deep within him before he continued to finger fuck him with more power. Pushing knuckle deep with each thrust of his hand, Poe could see Hux's body moving forward, flaring his arousal even more.

Licking his lips, he reeled back his hand and gave Hux another sharp smack; the sight of the pale complexion, already dusted over with arousal, now turning a deeper shade of red to mimic the outline of his hand forced a sort of proud ownership to fill the Commander.

"Fuckin' damn, Gav... You have no idea how gorgeous you are, do you?"

After a quick grope to the fleshy mound, Poe leaned in and reached forward. He encircled the recruit's cock with his fingers, holding tightly onto it. As he started to stroke him, full length, tip to base, he pulled his fingers out. But he didn't let Hux go unfilled for very long.

Without warning, the pilot leaned in and pressed his tongue into his new lover's body; his senses flooding with the taste of the oil he had used. Using just the tip, he teased the loosened ring of muscle before dipping it fully in once more, now slicking the walls with his spit as well.

The tongue that suddenly pressed inside of the General drew out a whine.

The ginger was caught between wanting to thrust forward into the pilot's hand and just wanting to collapse and let the man's tongue and fingers wring pleasure from every part of his body. He ended up doing a little of both as he wriggled and writhed under the Commander. Hux shifted his weight so he could reach back and under himself to hold onto the wrist belonging to the hand on his cock. His grip was tight, but not meant to stop or hinder the pumping motions - he simply wanted something to grab that was warm and alive, instead the bedding.

The wicked tongue was driving Gavin mad as heat spread and pooled inside of him. He canted his hips, legs shaking slightly, and made a small noise as Dameron continued the in and out motions, licking and wetting and staking a claim inside of the General.

"Fuck...I can't...so good," he mumbled half-sentences as he trembled and gasped. He shook his head to try and gain some control over his thoughts, finally answering the questions asked of him, even though he was certain the pilot had come to the same conclusion. "Go as hard as you want, mo ghràdh. Don't hold back."

Damn, Poe wanted so badly to properly accept that challenge and finger fuck his lover to the point of release, but with the way Hux was so desperately moving around and the noises he was making had Poe too riled up to wait much longer. He had allowed his tongue a few more moments to taste and tease Hux's insides before he could take the lack of friction no longer.

Sitting back on his knees, he reached anxiously for the vial of oil and poured an ample amount into the palm of his hand. With slick sounding movements, Poe started lubing his own cock up while dark eyes hungrily took in as much of Gavin's exposed, arousing body as they could.

"Nngh, shit." He bit down on his bottom lip, finding himself getting lost in the moment as he jerked himself off to the sight of his recruit's body. "Flip over, Gavin."

Though that position definitely was one of his more favorite positions to fuck somebody in, Dameron felt as if the moment called for something a little deeper than just a casual wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am kind of fuck. Absolutely riddled with arousal and need, white teeth clamped down onto an already swollen lip as the pilot whimpered, his hand moving faster over his own stiff cock.

"Oh, thank the Maker," the ginger gasped when his lust addled mind realized what Poe asked of him and what it entailed.

Hux rolled onto his back, placing his spread legs on either side of the pilot's body and gazing up at him, green eyes taking in each detail of the living artwork he saw before him and groaning at the intoxicating perfection it offered. His lover's lip was red where the Commander was biting it. The man's body was taut and rippling with need and want and lust and, fuck, if that wasn't the sexiest thing that Gavin had ever seen.

Jade eyes dropped to watch as the pilot's hand jerked over his length in quick pumps that had Hux whining and reaching down to take his own cock in hand. He gave himself a few strokes, teasing himself with a much lighter grip than what Poe just had on him. The small of his back arched slightly and he turned his head to the side, biting his own lip as he whimpered. He rubbed himself once, twice more before letting go. The ginger rested his own hands on either side of his head, palms up and fingers half-curled, in an odd mocking of surrender.

That idea - the idea of _surrendering_ to Dameron, here, now - caused another wave of arousal to crash over the General, who would publicly, normally, never give in to anyone or anything.

"P-please, Poe," the ginger pleaded, turning his head back to face the other man. "Please, I...I need you."

How could the Rebel fighter deny such an arousing plea of desire? Just the twinge of need in Hux's voice alone caused Poe's body to surge with heat. His teeth clamped down even harder on his lip, breaking through the first layer and causing a metallic taste to fill his mouth. But he did not mind one bit. The grip on his cock tightened and the speed of his wrist increased until he finally cried out and let go before he got too consumed in primal lust.

"Keep beggin', love. It sounds so fuckin' hot comin' from ya."

Reaching down, Poe gripped both of Gavin's legs and had him wrap them around his waist. Then he dropped down on top of his lover, supporting himself with just one hand while the other gripped his cock once again. Only this time, he didn't give in to the desperate need for friction. Instead, he directed himself to the recruit's slickened entrance and slowly began to press in.

"Y-You sure about this...?" The pilot breathed out, his head tossing back and his jaw clenching. He would nearly lose it if Hux changed his mind, but he would stop, regardless. "J..Just say the word, and... Nnnngh, mierda...! And I'll stop...!"

Hux wrapped his legs around the pilot’s waist, locking the man in place by crossing his ankles behind Poe’s back. “Please, yes, fuck, I’m sure. Please!” His voice broke on a few syllables as his lover started to slowly press into him. He grit his teeth as his hole stretched to accommodate the Commander’s cock.

Even as Dameron let slip faint whimpering sounds, he continued to push in. About a quarter of the way, he felt Hux's tight body still resisting, so he pulled his hips back so that just the tip of his prick was in, then pushed forward even further. Halfway in, he did the same thing, finally feeling Gavin's body beginning to accept the intrusion. Gavin focused solely on his breathing, eyes fluttering closed, as Poe pulled back out, giving his body some relief, before pushing back in farther.

The final time the pilot pulled nearly all the way out, he stilled, then thrusted in fully. When Poe’s hips snapped forward, sheathing himself inside of the General, Hux’s back arched away from the bed and he cried out. His jade eyes snapped open and his legs tightened around Dameron. The paler man's hands stayed by his head, clenching into fists and then relaxing completely as Gavin’s body opened up under the pilot’s thrusts.

The insane waves of heated pleasure that consumed Poe left him crying out, his jaw hanging fully slack. Attempting to breathe properly, his half-lidded eyes gazed down upon his lover and a new heat attacked. A heat in his chest that forced his heart to erratically beat and flutter. And the more he thought of kissing the redhead while inside him, the worse that thumping heat became until he finally gave in and bent down for a rough, desperate kiss.

The General's entire body felt hot – flames of desire and that delicate pleasure-pain balance crackled under his pale skin. Poe’s lips capturing his own in a heated kiss sent sparks through his body that jolted his heart and caused it to miss a beat before falling into a faster rhythm. His hips rocked slightly as he urged his own body to get used to the feeling of the cock inside of it. His hands jumped off the bed – one wrapping itself in thick, curly hair and the other pressing against Dameron’s chest over his beating heart.

Hux broke the kiss with a whimper. “Poe, ah, love, p-please. Need you…move…fuck me…please.”

The Commander, yet again, found himself at a loss for words; Gavin seemed to have that effect on him, which truly was a rare feat. Nodding and giving his lips a quick lick, Poe grunted and moved his hips backwards. His hands moved to the smaller wrists and gripped them, forcing Hux to move them away from his body. Instead, Poe pinned them back down onto the bed on either side of his head, holding the ginger in place. Half lidded eyes covered the pale, though flushed, face with their gaze as his body fell into a rhythm.

At first, the Rebel pilot kept it to simple, full thrusts with his cock; his attempt to stay as connected with his lover as he could. A roll of his hips pushed himself in balls-deep and he grunted again, flash of heat covering his body. That sensation drove his movements to a more needy state as he picked up both speed and power. Now, their bodies mimicked their repetitive connections with loud, smacking sounds every time Poe's hips joined with Gavin's ass.

It didn't take very long for Poe's thrusting to become almost animalistic. His lip automatically pinched up into a sneer as his heated gaze locked firmly on jade eyes. Now, his hips jerked backwards before snapping forward; the action forcing the feet of his bed to scrape the floor seconds prior to the bed slamming into the wall

The grip on the two wrists moved up so he could properly lock fingers with the other male, though, with the firm grip, he also grabbed onto the sheet. "Nngh, awngh, fuck, Gavin... Oh, fuck..!" The Commander growled, his head tossing back and eyes fluttering shut in the process. "A..Ah shit...!"

The thrusts were as steady as the man's gaze and the heat inside of the ginger doubled at the direct intimacy of the moment. Soft noises accompanied each breath he took. "Poe, fuck, yes..."

A sudden deep thrust pushed the pilot's length completely into him and he cried out, arms pulling against the grip on his own as he tried to break the hold. He wanted to touch Poe, wanted to grip and bruise the pilot's skin - to leave marks of his own on the man as he did on Gavin. The sound of Poe's hips slapping against his ass mingled with their combined grunts and groans. As Dameron's thrusts became more powerful, more domineering, the ginger was practically being bounced on each thrust, kept in place only by the hands that held his own to the bedding. "Poe, please, Love--fuck!!"

The dark haired man quickly started to look more and more predatory, and the General whined, arching his head back and offering the pale column of his neck to the Commander. He had placed himself at his lover's mercy, handed him the control that Hux normally had to keep, and he couldn't find a reason to regret that as he was fucked into the mattress. One of his hands was pulling at the tan one holding it down, desperately trying to urge it toward the ginger's neglected cock without having the word capacity to beg for it.

Gavin shifted and pressed back as much as he could with each thrust. He twisted his hips to find a better leverage. "Ah!! Fu-Poe!!" He cried out, voice breaking off into a moan as white pleasure shot up his spine once again. "Fuck! More!"

Poe had no idea that he had it within himself to possibly move any faster or harder, but the moment Gavin cried out his desire for it, he found a way to grant him that wish. Sweat began to bead on his back, shoulders, and hairline from the intense workout he was getting, then trickled down his heated, flushed flesh. He could feel a burn developing in his muscles that seemed to only add to the pleasure attacking his entire system.

The tugging of the hand snapped him somewhat out of the intoxicating trance he was in and he bent in, roughly attacking Hux's throat with his mouth. His teeth nibbled the pulsating spot before his lips secured around it. A bruise was quickly left behind as his mouth found a new spot to focus on. By the time they'd part ways at the end of this, the recruit would have plenty of lovebites left behind on his skin for anyone to know he's been claimed for the time being.

While nibbling and suckling over as much of his lover's skin as he possibly could, Poe removed the grip on one of his hands to then start sliding it down between their bodies. His fingers pressed into any indent of muscle they approached until he felt the kinky coarse hairs brush against them. Without hesitation, he wrapped his fingers around the other male's cock and began to stroke him with full, rapid tugs.

Hux’s free hand shot off the bed, scratching down Poe’s chest as the man jerked, fucked, and marked him. The tight coil of heat that settled low in the ginger’s belly wrapped ever tighter as he moved closer and closer to release. He could feel each bruise being sucked into his skin and in any other circumstance he would have snarled and spit, but, now, he found himself instead gasping and mewling. He _liked_ the idea of being claimed by the man who shared so much with him.

Perhaps he also liked the rebellion that came with it, too.

Perhaps he just liked Poe.

As one more rough thrust and quick stroke made him cry out, he solidified the thought – he definitely liked the pilot. His still-pinned hand gripped his lover’s ever tighter as his free hand curled into dark locks of hair, alternating between tugging roughly and simply holding Dameron’s head in place. He pulled his hand out of the tangled hair, dropping to rest on the back of the Commander’s neck.

Every thrust, every spasm of tight walled muscle around his own cock pushed the pilot closer and closer to his own release. Hearing Gavin cry out like that, however, nearly shoved him right over that edge of ecstasy and into that point of absolute no return. “Let go, baby,” the Commander husked over a damped spot on the bruised flesh, slowly lifting his head. But he didn’t let his lips go very long without any contact. Leaning back in, he pressed his lips against Hux’s, instantly deepening the kiss into a rough make-out.

The movement of his hips got to the point where there was no true rhythm; it was simply an act of pure desperation. With the heat pooling rapidly in his lower gut, his body began to tremble. Never had he ever held out so long on delaying his orgasm in order for a partner to find relief first. He wanted Gavin to drown in pleasure before he even thought of seeking his own.

So his grip tightened as it neared the tip of his lover’s prick, making swift jerking movements over the crown. He could feel the sticky dampness pushing from the slit in great quantity now, so he knew Hux was right there on the brink. “Come on, baby...Cum for me.” He growled before dipping right back into that kiss. His breathing hitched as his head pulled back, but continued to swirl their tongues together even if there was no connection with their lips.

The ginger whined at the instruction, but the noise was quickly muffled by the pilot's kiss. He tried to hold back - more out of the simple want to be defiant than anything else - but quickly found it to be a losing battle, as well as one that he didn't want to continue fighting, anyway. He made a desperate noise against Dameron's mouth. Pale fingers pressed roughly into golden skin as he came undone, his own rocking motion stilling and just accepting each press into his body, each graze over his prostrate, each sharp slap of skin on skin.

Hux broke off their twist of tongues to shout out his lover's name, his accent heavy as it curled around the three letters. He came over the man's hand and onto both of their stomachs - splattering white over each of them. His hand shot down to the Commander's wrist as his frame shook and rippled with pleasure.

He clenched down on Poe's cock and cried out again. Gavin looked up to meet the pilot's smoldering gaze, his own green eyes slightly wet around the edges as his pleasure reached its crescendo. "Fuck, love," he gasped, a small smile quirking his lips as his body quickly started to become oversensitive. "Maker...don't hold back. Cum in me. Make me yours, Flyboy."

Even once he felt that creamy warmth coat his hand and parts of his own toned and tanned stomach, Poe didn’t cease the friction he was giving his now spent lover. But that command to fill him falling from Hux’s swollen and abused lips sent a burst of heat throughout the pilot’s body. He moved his hand, letting go of the other one he still had a grip on, and moved Gavin’s legs from around him. Pushing them forward, he nearly had the recruit’s knees touching his shoulders, almost folding the pliant body in half. Poe lifted up, kneeling on one knee, and started driving his throbbing cock deeper and harder into him; crying out from the exertion of the position. “Ahh! Nnngh, G...Gavin!! Awwngh!”

Hux's body had twitched and spasmed at each of the pilot's thrusts after he'd reached his own climax, slender and overstimulated body jerking. His voice was broken when he was folded in two, small sounds escaping him as he rode out his own aftershocks still impaled on the Commander's length. Small 'ah's fell from his lips, intermingled with variations of Poe's name. Pale hands gripped the sheets beneath the ginger as each jolt of pleasure shot through him and became more and more intense.

Breath hitching, the head of thick, dark curls tossed back as the pilot shoved as deep into his lover’s tight warmth as he could, then froze. His orgasm blazed through him with one final pulse of his prick before his essence filled the other male. A loud, throat rumbling groan filled the space of his bedroom once he began to slowly move his hips back and forth yet again, though this time with delicate, almost shallow actions, milking the last bit of cum out of his body.

“Shit… Mnngh, oh shit…” He panted, collapsing with exhaustion on top of his trainee. His lips started to lazily pepper anywhere he could with kisses without actually having to lift his head or make much movement to do so. “Shit… Fuck, Gavin…” Another grunt rolled from his lips as his cock lightly pulsated, still deep within the warm body.

The ginger was more than spent, mumbling incoherent things in a language that was neither Gaelic or Basic speech. His legs twitched around the other man, instinctively trying to settle and close.

"Fuck..." Gavin muttered, voice strained and rough. He shifted slightly, finding a more comfortable way to situate his weight, and then relaxed his muscles completely, still panting and heartbeat wild. He lazily wrapped his arms around the pilot, feeling the toned muscles tensing and relaxing under his fingertips. "Poe."

Hux gave the man a tired but content gaze, jade eyes taking in the bitten lip, glistening skin, and black eyes that shined brighter than all the stars in the galaxy. He smiled and brushed a few stray curls away from the man's forehead. Softly he whispered, "àlainn, mo ghràdh."

The pilot’s body gave one final shudder, feeling the lingering warmth fading from within his body. His lips maintained a silly, lazy grin as he reached up to cup Hux’s cheek with his palm. His lips pressed against the other swollen pair several time with very delicate, very slow-moving pecks. “Mmmm… Whatever you just said, say it again.” The words sent a flutter to the pilot’s heart; a sensation he was very quickly growing to adore. Just like he was growing to adore the redheaded male tangled up on his bed with him in a pile of lazily locked limbs.

Realizing both their stomachs still had Gavin’s essence cooling on them, Poe grinned. He unhurriedly moved his way south on the lithe, arousing body, dotting affectionate kisses to the skin still flushed with heat. The lower he got though, the more he glanced up at his lover to give him a playful wink.

Poe’s tongue flicked past his own sore lips, wincing slightly at the spot he had bit down too hard at. Keeping a lifted gaze locked the best he could on Gavin’s eyes, Dameron leaned in and did one long, swift swipe through a thick drop of Hux’s cum. As the taste filled his sense, darkened eyes disappeared behind their lids, smiling at the first taste of his lover. Then he opened his eyes once again and proceeded to lick the slender body clean.

Gavin's eyes widened when Poe moved down his body to lick at his stomach. He shivered - fuck, was there anything this man could do that _wasn't_ sexy as all hell? The ginger rolled up to recline on his elbows, gazing down at the pilot before sitting up to press a gentle, chaste kiss to his lips.

He lightly bumped his forehead against the Commander's, a playful, sassy smile falling back onto his lips. He kissed his way to Dameron's ear, whispering, "àlainn, mo ghràdh." He pulled back, reclining on his hands, and watched his lover, eyebrow quirked and jade eyes taking in the chiseled features of his face before landing on his kiss and bite bruised lips.

This all felt so natural - of course, it all happened in a very unexpected way, but he couldn't imagine it happening by any other means than unpredictable. He felt drawn to the pilot and he was very quickly finding himself infatuated with the idea of future, stolen moments. Really, he was finding himself infatuated with Poe, himself, but Hux wasn't sure he was completely comfortable admitting that to himself, yet.

A part of his mind hinted that he already had.

He repeated his words, slower, now, "àlainn, mo ghràdh." He pronounced each syllable clearly, the language rolling off his tongue and playing on his accent. "It means 'beautiful, my love.'" And, again, "àlainn, mo ghràdh."

Try as he might, Poe could not hide that gentle blush from gracing his cheeks. He returned to Gavin’s side and wasted not a single second before pulling him tightly into his arms. His lips puckered some and he pecked the tip of Hux’s nose before whispering, “àlainn, mo ghràdh…" Not even entirely sure that he got the proper pronunciation with it, he smiled.

“Hermoso, mi amor.”

The pilot’s natural accent clung tightly to every syllable in his response, making sure to speak the words rather slowly to ensure Gavin had a proper attempt at learning them. Realizing he was finding himself getting lost in the alluring green contained within the redhead’s eyes, Poe let slip a soft sigh, his lips curling up into a smile in the process.

"Hermoso, mi amor?" Hux's gaze fell to Dameron's mouth when he spoke, raising only when the redhead mirrored the pilot's pronunciation. Mumbling the phrase again to himself, "hermoso, mi amor."

Listening to the recruit attempt to speak Spanish was more endearing than it was anything else; it brought a gentle, nearly faint smile of appreciation to the pilot’s lips. With all their animosity towards each other faded, now replaced with this warm glow around them, Poe was beginning to realize how much he could actually enjoy Hux’s company. Not just in the sexual sense, of course, though that truly was a plus. But he had been able to open up in a way completely unfamiliar to him with this man. He spoke of things he thought no one would ever care to hear. And Gavin did so with full, complete understanding and compassion.

“Tienes los ojos más bonitos del mundo.”

His cheeks flushed with warmth the second his thoughts slipped out of his mouth. But when he realized they were spoken in a language Hux would not be able to understand, a sense of relief flooded over him.

“Verde. Green. Your eyes.” The Commander leaned in, his hand now running up and down the smooth back in an affectionate and comforting way, and brushed their noses together. “Did you know green was my favorite color?” Though he chuckled softly, Poe knew he was telling them truth. Perhaps it was what had originally drawn the Commander to seek singling out his recruit?

Verde. Dameron's favorite color. The color of Gavin's eyes. Green - oh. The puzzle shifted into place.

"Chan eil mi Buinidh ann do tòimhseachan," Hux mumbled, confused at how exactly _he_ was a solution to the final part of Poe Dameron. Yes, he wasn't the only thing that the green side of the cube was to the man, but...he was somehow in it.

The General shoved the thought and the meaning of his words away with a small smile. He lightly pressed closer to the Commander, deciding he would rather just stay in the moment than think about what meant what and how one thing connected to the other. Hux raised a hand to rest on the side of his lover's face, thumb gently tracing the man's cheekbone.

"Dubh," he offered. "Black. Your eyes." A thought flickered in his mind, "Or dubh ceannard. Black Leader. Your code." Gavin shrugged with a teasing smile. "I might have found the records area and read up on you while you were away and I didn't feel like abiding by my normal schedule." His eyes turn mischievous. "I guess I'm just not motivated to go to class if I don't get to fuck with you."

When Hux confessed to snooping around in his personal file, the pilot's brow quirked. Not an act out of anger or annoyance, but genuine curiosity. It made him feel rather proud to know the recruit had no interest in attending lessons without him there. Rhys must have been having a field day with that; he took it personally if someone didn’t stay involved. But then again…

“Not that I’m complaining, obviously. But you skipped lessons today, too.”

It just dawned on him that his recruits were currently in the middle of a lesson when he returned to base. And Hux was pretty quick to ditch. Yet again, apparently.

“Your ass better be there tomorrow morning. Fair warning.”

Hux's eyes had rolled when the pilot demanded his attendance at lessons. People who ordered him around always quickly realized that he would push back in every possible way, but Dameron should have known that by now, with all the times the two of them brushed shoulders and butted heads.

Poe couldn’t imagine trying to stick to his scheduled flight lessons at the moment. Being up in such a tight, confined space with the recruit he currently had lying, naked in his bed, filled with his cum, would only make for an inevitable, uncomfortable situation. Not that he was against fooling around in the cockpit of a Starfighter, but not when there was an entire squadron of potential pilots waiting on their return so they could have a go behind the dashboard as well.

“I think I’ll switch it up tomorrow. A lecture, maybe… In the conference hall. I don’t know. I’ve got a lot to go over with them that I doubt Rhys even touched on while I was gone.” That brought a sigh to fall from his lips; he wasn’t looking forward to parting from the warmth Gavin offered him. Who knew… Maybe this was just a spur of the moment thing for the redhead. Maybe when they parted ways, he would go back to disliking his Commander. Their snarky banter might return. It began to worry Poe to an extent; did he want something more between them…?

"A lecture? Well, in that case, you won't see me at all tomorrow. I have no reason to be bored out of my mind," Hux teased, his expression serious, except for the devious glint in his jade gaze. "Or maybe I'll just sit right in the middle of the room and silently judge your oratory skills against mine. Or maybe I'll just ask the most annoying questions I can think of." The ginger settled more fully where he was, arching his back in a small stretch for a few seconds before relaxing completely. "And not that I'm complaining," he stated in a mocking of the Commander's voice, "but you skipped lessons today, as well. Didn't even say hello - your fan boys and girls, I'm sure, were devastated."

The General silently watched the wheels turn inside Poe's head, watched as the man's micro-expressions flitted in his eyes. Whatever was happening in man's mind was something that Hux had a feeling would be eventually voiced - be it now or later - between them, so, instead of pushing, the ginger turned to his own thoughts.

The mission was at a standstill. It was obvious that his current contacts - or, rather, the ones he had tried to pull information from - were useless. He needed connections higher up in the command chain without blatantly waltzing into Organa's office, showing her his First Order ID badge, and demanding answers. When the woman spoke to him, it had been obvious that she knew the art of war and she had singled him out just as much as Dameron, himself, had done. While she believed his well-spun lie about defecting, it would be completely idiotic for her to trust him, and she didn't seem like someone who would make that mistake. There was the option of using Dameron, but the redhead was liking the idea less and less with each passing second. No. That was off the table. It would extend his time living among the Resistance to have to expand his network slowly until he got into the ranks of superior officers...but that also meant more time _here_ , if the pilot wanted, right?

"You're thinking so loud and hard I think the First Order might be able to hear you," Hux prodded instead of continuing his thoughts.


	15. What Are We?

The conversation currently taking place within his mind was certainly not one that Poe wanted to discuss at the moment. It was sex. What they had was explosive, pretty damn amazing, sex. They barely know each other, other than the confessions they had thrown at one another - even if those were deep confessions. Less than a week of… Friendship? Was it even considered that? The more Poe fretted on the thoughts, the deeper the crease of his brow became, completely ignoring the jest given to him by his redheaded lover.

“Thinking about what the of lecture I want to give tomorrow.” Was his final answer. Lifting his gaze once more, he locked eyes on the recruit and smirked. “Looks like it may be directed towards how crucial it is for my trainees to continue showing up for every lesson I schedule, no matter what time of the day it is. _Gavin_.” He chuckled faintly, giving his onyx eyes a playful roll. “In fact, I may just assign you a seat in the conference hall. Near the back. With a roll of duct tape waiting to be placed over your mouth.”

But the wheels kept on turning in his mind, ultimately widening his eyes in the process. “Speaking of which…” He had reverted back to the ‘time of day’ remark he made. “Oh, shit..!” Leaning in, he pecked a quick kiss to his lover’s lips, then rolled away from him. Limbs untangled as he stood, hurrying his way towards a notebook he had residing on his dresser. “Shit…” He thumbed through the pages, brow furrowed intensely in thought, his back to the recruit. “I knew it!”

In there, he had mapped out all the lessons he needed to give to ensure the potential pilots would receive the best training that he could give; not that he’s been doing such a great job at it so far. He realized he had no night lessons planned. Piloting in the broad daylight, no clouds in sight, was obviously easier than piloting at night, tenfold. Or even in a storm. “Ah, fuck me…” He growled, realizing he’d be up late rewriting everything he seemed to have forgotten, suddenly slipping right back into that Commander mindset; he knew he had a lot to make up for with the remaining recruits.

Hux wasn't sure what was in the notebook, but he hated whatever it was that broke the spell that had been cast over them. In his lover's absence, the General began to pick up the mental pieces of himself, putting them back together and stepping back in line as his militant persona took control once more. He should leave, give a report to Snoke out in the middle of the woods, and then continue his networking. Really, he should find a way to come to terms with just picking the pilot's mind and then going back to the Finalizer...

But he couldn't.

Pale fingers ran through fiery locks, pushing some of the mess back into a semblance of order. He sat up slowly, wincing and hissing slightly at the soreness that was setting into his body, inside and out. Slowly, sending a glance to the man who was still engrossed in whatever he was looking at, Gavin moved to the edge of the bed, somehow managing to find his pants and boxers, even though his shirt was nowhere to be seen. He slipped into his clothes and stood on trembling legs.

"Should I leave, then?" The ginger asked, eyes trailing down the muscular back that was offered to him. He hadn't expected the Commander to suddenly pull away. Then again, he hadn't expected many of the events of the day. "Let you be alone with your paper and pen?"

He should. He had his own work he needed to attend to. He didn't want to...but he should. He would already be up all night reworking his strategies and making mental notes of what to report to the Supreme Leader. "And, for future reference, duct tape doesn't work that well when gagging a person who also has the ability to take it off. It just makes them louder."

Gazing back over his shoulder at his newest lover, Poe frowned. He mentally scolded himself for getting caught up in his work; truthfully, though, it has just been him, alone, for the longest time. He didn’t have to worry about another’s presence, so losing himself in his thoughts and paperwork was just all too common of a thing. His features softening, he sighed. “Do you want to leave?” The hint of hope that lingered in his voice went unbeknownst to the Commander. Honestly, he didn’t want Hux to go. Not so suddenly, at least.

It truly dawned on him in that moment that he didn't know how to behave in a relationship. Even if they weren’t in anything at the moment, the atmosphere was still around them, regardless. Was Hux supposed to leave? Did they have their little fling, and now it was time to part ways? If that was the case, Poe was unhappy. He wanted his trainee to stick around. He wanted to crawl back into bed with him, hold him tight. Cuddle him all night long.

That was the biggest thing he missed about being in a relationship. As simple as it was, and probably a bit embarrassing, Dameron missed cuddling. He would never verbally admit it; hell, it brought an embarrassed blush to his cheeks just to come to terms with in within his own mind. So to ask Hux to stay behind to cuddle..? Too cliché, right?

“I…”

Just say it, dammit. Admit it. Something. Don’t let him slip away thinking this was a one time fling.

“If you want to stay…”

No, not that. Poe huffed, his nostrils flaring. Why was this so difficult?

“I would like you to stay.”

Hux was just about to duck out when the pilot finally found his words. Poe wanted him to stay? It seemed odd - they had, of course, bonded over traumatic pasts and danced both the tango and something much more intimate than that, but they weren't exactly boon companions.

They really weren't companions, either.

They really weren't anything, really.

Something about that made the ginger's heart give a sad clench. He knew that whatever he had, here, would have to be given up sooner rather than later. The mission, in all its intricacies and components, would not take forever - a few months, perhaps. Long enough for the redheaded 'recruit' to finish his training and then disappear back behind an almost finished superweapon.

He couldn't deny the spark between them. Couldn't deny the chemistry. Well, he could, but that would just be a waste of time and, frankly, an insult to them both. A nagging voice grumbled that he had let himself fall into bed with someone he'd only really known for a week. He wasn't entirely sure if that spoke volumes about how desperate he was for affection or how much the connection between them had solidified in such a short amount of time.

But back to the point: Poe wanted him to stay. Warning bells were ringing in his ears and red lights flashed in his mind - this was getting too close. This was self-sabotage. This was the stupidest thing he could ever be considering, but after everything that had happened, he _really_ didn't want to be alone tonight.

"Then I will. I want to," Gavin responded. "I may have to borrow some clothes, though," he added, slightly cheeky. "Ma tha thu chan eil dragh - if you don't mind."

There was a moment of doubt that flashed across the redhead’s face and it gave Poe’s stomach a great lurch. He swallowed hard, preparing himself to return to his stone cold exterior as soon as Hux denied his request to stay. But then Gavin admitted to wanting to stay as well and the warmth that spread throughout the Commander’s body was sudden and very unexpected. It made his heart flutter for a brief moment. The sudden stretch of his lips that showed a genuine smile was quickly taken away, Poe being too afraid of coming off too eager or excited for Gavin to stay the evening with him.

“Right, no. No, that’s fine. O-Of course.”

To help clear his mind of anything Commander and Resistance related, Poe briefly turned and slammed the notebook shut. Not just leaving it at that, he opened his top drawer of his dresser and shoved it into there; out of sight, out of mind.

“If you need anything, just help yourself. Shower, food, drink, it doesn’t matter.”

He rummaged through a couple of his drawers, finally pulling free a pair of comfortable grey sweatpants and a wife beater tank top for his lover to wear. Facing him once again, he offered him a small smile. One small enough that it may even be considered shy. The pilot returned to the bed, sitting on the edge and reaching for a pale hand to tug him back down. Unsure of where they stood in their connections, Poe decided ‘to hell with it’ and cupped his cheek with the hand not currently gripping the clothing.

Leaning in, he pressed a soft, but firm kiss to the ginger’s lips, his eyes fluttering shut. They’ve gone this far already, what more is there to lose. The Rebel fighter decided for the night, at least, he’d let himself enjoy Gavin’s company. They could return to disliking each other come sunrise if that was what Hux wanted.

The redhead was more than excited at the idea of a shower and comfortable clothing, but he welcomed the tug on his hand and the instruction it offered - 'sit down with me, stay here.' The ginger chuckled into the kiss as the seeming bashfulness that Poe had exuded vanished once more as their lips met. He pulled back to study his current lover's face. He wanted to know what had the man so riled just a few moments ago, but also just wanted to forget about anything that was outside of this moment.

Really, he just didn't want to think about what would happen at the end of all this - this night, this mission, this war.

The General moved offer another kiss to the pilot as he took the new clothes out of muscular arms. "Now, as much as I like smelling like sex and Poe Dameron, I also like to smell like soap and Gavin Hux, so I think I take the offered shower." He paused. "Care to join me?"

He didn't wait for the shorter man to answer. Instead, he rose and sauntered his way to the refresher as though he'd lived here his entire life. He hid his soreness and stiffness with a soft sway of his hips as he moved - back to teasing, back to offering sass and snark, back to seeing what he could and could not do.

He tossed a look over his shoulder - one eyebrow raised and a Cheshire cat smile. "Are you coming or are you just going to stare at my ass until the door closes, Commander?" Hux internally chuckled at his own question. Had it been any other circumstance, the use of a rank would have come with a sneer from the undercover General - a reminder to the ginger that he outranked the man and thus was better. In this case, though, it was fond. Almost a pet name.

Had he truly just been caught staring? Surely, with the seductive sway to the ginger’s hips, he had anticipated on Poe staring. Either way, it forced a heat to attack his cheeks and he prayed it did not translate into a deep red coloring. Licking his lips, he snapped his gaze up to focus on Gavin's face, and Gavin’s face alone, never minding the alluring, breathtaking body the trainee possessed. But then another wave of heat overtook his body; had an offer been extended for Poe to join him?

Oh, fuck yeah…

The Commander was up and grinning in less than half a second.

“You don’t have to ask me twice, love.”

Stepping up behind the trainee, strong hands settled over the slender, though full, hips and he bent in. His lips playfully suctioned to the warm and bruised neck as his teeth gave a little nibble. He started walking with him, though keeping as little space between his chest and Gavin’s back as he possibly could. Hux almost stumbled with how quickly Dameron pressed up behind him. It was like the man had materialized there, against his back. The ginger slowed his strides so that they could stay close without tripping over one another as they moved toward the small, mostly white room.

“Dunno, darlin’. I kind of like you smelling like sex and me,” the words came out with a heavily flirty manner and accompanied by a low chuckle. As the doors to the refresher finished sliding open, Poe gave the back of his lover’s head a quick peck, finding he had no desire to deny his lips any contact with the other male’s body. But he forced himself to break away and reach in to start the shower. The water sprayed down from the showerhead, sprinkling to life.

The sterile atmosphere of the pilot's refresher reminded Hux of the Finalizer and he curled his lip before he could resist, quickly hiding the sneer lest the pilot saw it. As Poe started the shower, Gavin unfastened his pants and tossed them and his boxers aside and placed the clean clothes he had been given near the sink. The ginger smiled as steam filled the room. "Well, there's an easy way to keep me smelling like you," he offered before he could really think about what he was saying. "We just have to do this again."

The redhead's mouth snapped shut as soon as the words were out of his mouth. That wasn't something he should have said. It wasn't something he should have thought. Was this supposed to just be one time? Were they supposed to not talk about it? Jade eyes dropped to the floor and Gavin slipped into the shower and under the spay of hot water before he could blurt out anything else embarrassing. The steam caused his cheeks to blush. The steam. That's what caused it. He tilted his head back, letting the water stream down his face and chest before he wiped it away with his hands. It was nice to take a shower at a time that wasn't at kill-me-now in the morning. It was nice to not have to schedule to use the communal cleaning stations and worry about someone looking down and seeing the scars on his wrist. And, really, besides the want for privacy, who in their right mind would want to shove themselves into a room of men - soldiers, all looking to prove themselves - during shower time? The recruits smelled bad enough when he was just in a small group of them, he didn't want to know what it was like to be around all of them.

He gazed down himself, turning his leg outward to look at the mark sucked into his inner thigh. His mind wandered, again. Caution and logic be damned, Hux wanted there to be more times. He wanted to know more about the pilot. Wanted to get to know him and see where all this took them. He wanted to trick himself into believing that there was an outcome in all this that would keep them close. He wanted to kick and scream because he knew that all of this was just a ticking time bomb. If Poe wasn't willing to suddenly switch sides, and Hux knew he wouldn't, what was the point in starting a friendship or fuckship or even thinking about a lasting relationship? The General let those doubts drain away, deciding to just enjoy what was happening. He didn't want to ruin this. He wanted to cherish this. With that in mind, he righted his smile and waited for his lover to join him.

Poe was a little more than caught off guard with that statement. It had the proverbial cogs spinning away in the pilot’s mind. There was definitely more than a few questions that needed to be addressed between the two of them. And questions _about_ the questions themselves. Such as… When were they supposed to address these concerns? _How_ were they supposed to address them? Were they even concerns worth being concerned about? The more Poe thought on it, the more confused he became with the entire deal.

Now, he decided. The answer is now.

Already fully nude, having not even considered redressing anytime soon, Poe stepped into the jet of hot water spraying down on them. He wasn’t expecting such an erotic and breathtaking sight before him. The pilot ended up stalling, half stepped into the shower, half still out, as he studied the constant drops of water hitting pale, though obviously flushed skin. Every curve of his lover’s body that he could take in, he did. Eventually, he fully stepped in and reached out, resting hands on warmed hips.

“We need to talk,” he muttered, leaning in to press a soft kiss to the crook of Gavin’s neck. The moisture of the shower water tickled his lips and he could taste the dampness. “What happened...I want to make sure we are both on the same page, here. I don’t want to do this awkward, teen romance bullshit of wondering what you’re feeling.”

Stepping back, he resisted the desire to kiss Hux fully upon the lips yet again. Something about the situation just felt… Natural. Had he been missing that comforting other person in his life that much?

“Do you..?” The Commander stopped for a moment to assess how he wanted to voice this. “Was this a one time thing? I mean, I get it. We were caught up in the moment, right? The dancing, the liquor…” Poe _knew_ he wasn’t drunk, figured there was no way Gavin could be drunk either, so truly, the liquor had no adequate role in the mix. “Or are we just going to play it by ear? Do you _want_ it to happen again?”

As his words began to fall from his lips with uncertainty and nervousness, the Rebel fighter stepped even further away from the other male. He ended up leaning about against the cooled tiled wall of the shower, folding his arms over his broad, muscular chest as he awaited Gavin’s answers with baited breath.

'We need to talk' had been precisely the phrase that Gavin didn't want to hear. The ginger stepped back and mirrored the pilot's position. So much for ignoring his doubt and insecurities. What was he supposed to say to all this? How did he even broach the subject without giving away more than what he should? Why couldn't he bring himself to just reject the Commander and walk away like he knew he _should_?

The water now fell, useless, to the floor. The patter of each drop was loud and echoed by every single drop that streamed after it. The room was sufficiently covered in steam, now to the point that it no longer looked foggy and Hux no longer could use the cloud to hide himself in. He dropped his gaze, then, deciding that he didn't like looking down, he looked back at the pilot before just turning his head to the side.

"I...don't know," he admitted, then backtracked immediately. "I don't know what to do, I mean. I would...I don't want this to be a one-time thing but...I don't know what to do. I don't know where we go." He huffed. "I'll be honest with you, Poe, because beating around the bush at this point is a waste of both of our time." The General took a breath to try and find the words he needed. "I don't...know you. But that doesn't change the fact that I want to. And that I want this to happen again."

Poe could have easily stood there, convincing himself that he was prepared for Hux to turn him down. To deny his company, laugh at how this was only meant to be a one time thing. But as Gavin began to speak, those words sounding more and more like they were heading towards the big denial he was so expecting, Poe discovered that he _wasn’t_ prepared to be done. Not in the slightest. So he stood there, heart hammering annoyingly in his chest, waiting for the worst.

But the worst never came. Nervous, almost scared eyes, flicked up to catch the jade pair looking back at him, and he felt his heart clench. He could work with that; if all Gavin wanted was to know him further, he knew he could provide that. Already, the redhead knew his biggest secret. Knew his awful past. And he knew the same about his new lover. They were already heading towards the right direction. Now all they would need is proper time to fill in the gaps, to get to know the small things about the other person.

What made Hux laugh? What would earn Poe those endearing little crinkles of joy beside alluring eyes that happened with every large smile? Favorite food? Color? Smell? Everything. They had an entire world of things to learn about one another, and truthfully? Poe was a bit excited to do so.

“You already know how to piss me off.” Smirking, he let out a large, relieved sigh. It felt like a large weight was lifted off his shoulders. “And apparently, now I know that _you_ know how to waste perfectly good hot water.”

Figuring their time spent with one another had already been filled with too much sorrow, way too much negativity, the pilot decided to keep things light and playful. As much as he wanted to press a tender kiss to those intoxicating lips, he figured he’d let Hux make the next move. Let him advance on his own free will, if he so wanted to.

As he stepped under the water, Poe lifted his hands, his muscles clenching on both arms and chest, and he ran his hands through soggy, heavy curls. “You do realize… If word gets out about what happened… You may become public enemy number one with these ‘fans’ you’re so convinced I have.”

Hux's nerves eased as Dameron brought back the lighthearted teasing. It felt natural for them to do this - to bother one another with secret smiles and light prods. Green eyes travel down the trails of water that made rivets down Poe's body. He followed a droplet as it formed in the wet, dark hair that waved and bounced like ocean water, and traveled down the pilot's back. Then his gaze honed in on the hard lines of Poe's arms. Something clicked to him.

"Stop flexing like an insecure soldier on their first day. You're a Commander, not a toddler," the ginger finally started to move again, dropping his arms as he stood in front of his lover. He reached up to replace Poe's fingers with his own as he ran them through the thick mane of hair. He smirked, almost sadly, "and I already am public enemy number one, they just haven't declared open war on me, yet."

Gavin reached over wordlessly to take the shampoo bottle in his hands. He looked at the label and sneered. So _this_ is what the Resistance thought was luxury? They might as well be putting swamp algae in their hair and calling themselves immaculate. He mumbled condescending remarks under his breath as he squeezed some into his hands and began to lather it into Dameron's hair. He massaged the man's scalp as he went, pressing light touches and gentle rubs against Poe's head as he worked.

As he helped the water work the suds out of the curls, the General hummed. "One more question, Flyboy." He murmured, leaning in to place a kiss against the Commander's cheek. "What exactly are we?"

It had been far too long since Poe had received such caring attention and he could not hold back the soft groan of approval as he felt those slender fingers pressing into his scalp. Though the water warm, Poe shivered, feeling his body briefly cover with tiny little bumps from the relaxing touch. “Nngh… Damn…” He muttered, his eyes shutting and his head lolling back. The smirk that resided on his lips from Gavin's previous jest had washed away, now replaced with lips half-parted, tiny grunts disappearing under the loud echo of the water.

The question had caught him a bit off guard. He was just thankful that they had established whether or not they wanted to carry on with what they were doing, whatever that was. He wasn’t expecting to be putting a label on it. “Soapy,” was his simple answer. One that tugged at the corner of his lips until he had a playful grin formed on them. “Wet, mostly. Exhausted, at least I am. Hungry, perhaps. Maybe. No… No, I am definitely sticking with either soapy or wet as my final answer.”

His grin had continued to grow until finally, he chuckled. “I honestly cannot tell you,” came the more formal answer, that amusement fading some. What were they…? Fuck buddies? Friends with benefits? Were they even friends? Everything was happening so out of order with them and it truthfully was rather confusing. But Poe could not deny that there was a deep connection with the other man. A connection he wanted to further investigate as much as they could. “What, uh, what would you classify us as..?”

By the time the pilot had given him a straight answer, Hux had run a bar of soap between his pale hands and placed it back where he had found it. He ran his hands over the Commander's chest in silence. What were they? Reckless. Idiotic. Dreamers. Doomed to fail. All of the above? The ginger sighed and looped his arms behind Dameron's neck, simply watching the man as the water flowed over them.

"Well done, Commander. Good to know you can answer any question thrown at you. That solidifies my lack of confidence in you," the General sardonically stated.

Regardless of his only half-meant, harsh words, Gavin smiled slightly. He moved closer to place a kiss against Poe's forehead before planting another on his lips. Perhaps he had pushed too far. Perhaps that was a question that was better left unanswered and forgotten. He hadn't really meant to ask it - it was supposed to stay in his head, not in the air around them. He felt like a blushing schoolgirl - the kind that fell over all the soldiers at the Academy.

Perhaps he should just say something so that the shower was not just filled with the patter of water and the awkward silence that now filled the place that the steam once occupied. Should he change the subject or...just say what he wanted?

"Well, if you asked me on a date, then I'd be able to easily say that we were, in fact, dating," he teased before continuing. "But, of course, we skipped over that and went right to more...intimate...events."

Dating. Going on dates. Taking one you cared for, one you wished to spend extra time with, and doing simple, fun things. A date. Dating. All of it had Poe’s thoughts spiraling out of control in a tailspin, just waiting to crash and burn. Dating? It had been _ages_ since Poe had actually asked anyone out on a date, let alone _gone_ on one. Sure, it was the proper course of action to take. And it’s honestly never too late to backtrack a few steps and try to get things back on course. But dating? There were very few things that terrified the Rebel Commander, but dating was one of them. They had already had sex. He already had Gavin standing naked in his shower soaping him up with his hands. So why was the thought of dating so…terrifying?

The fear of failure, perhaps. Especially with knowing what Hux had been forced through in his past with a lover. He wanted so badly to do everything right for him. To treat him how he deserved to be treated. And that didn’t include awkward dates that he was sure would have his recruit mocking him for in the end. Dating… Damn.

“So, we’re… Intimate, then? We, uh.” He chuckled nervously, trying to keep his mind as far away from the thought of dating as he possibly could. “We danced, earlier. So, we’re dance partners?” His smirk returned as he leaned in to press his lips against the corner of Gavin's mouth.

Dating. Fuck. Breathing in a slow, deep breath, Poe let his eyes shut, feeling water droplets cling to his long, thick eyelashes. Dating…

“Gavin, listen. I, uh… I want to do right by you. As much as I can. Obviously, we, um...” His heart was racing a mile a minute. He licked his lips, tasting the moisture from the spray of the shower. “We can’t take back what happened, not that I would ever want to. But, um… Would you, uh.” His hand lifted and rubbed at the back of his neck in a nervous tic. “Tomorrow, um.. W-Would you want to… Go, uh…” Dating. Date. The words swam through the pilot’s mind over and over, yet he couldn’t bring himself to say it. “Will you go out on a, uh, a date with me..?”

Hux's fingers were lightly rubbing circles into Poe's skin as he stumbled over words. After everything, he had to admit, he was surprised that the idea of going on a date was what gave the pilot pause. After all the truths and secrets told. After he had fucked the ginger into a daze and then brought him back out with gentle words and touches. _This_ was what the man got stuck on?

"Tha, mo ghràdh, bu mhath leam gun. Yes." The redhead pressed a kiss to the tip of the pilot's nose, then suddenly chuckled. "All I had to do, this entire time, to make you fall into a stuttering mess was talk to you about dating? Force, I wish I'd known that when you made me speak in front of everyone."

He bit his lower lip. "I...wouldn't take back anything. Maybe almost getting punched in the face at the pub. But other than that, I wouldn't take back anything." There was a breath of pause. "And I'm more sorry about that night than I'm not. I'm good at knowing how people think. I'm good at reading people and getting into their heads." His smile turns bashful.

In truth, that was one of the reasons that Hux rose through the ranks so quickly. He could break people - find their weaknesses and exploit them - just by watching and reading them. His technological and strategic prowess were just the icing on the cake, to Snoke. "Sometimes I don't realize I'm doing it. But," he handed Poe the shampoo and turned his back to the other man. "I suppose I could pencil a date with you into my busy schedule of not paying attention in class and then laying around hoping there is something to do _after_ class."


	16. Will You Tell Me a Story?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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Just the thought of Hux bringing up dating during that one fateful first day brought a warm smile back to the Commander’s lips. He chuckled, shaking his head and rolling his eyes, dismissing the playful jab. A part of him had hoped that his lover would not have picked up on his pathetic attempt to maintain a straight thought, so when he was called out on it, his cheeks flushed. Blaming it on the heat of the steam, he turned his head away.

“Oh, wait a second!” A sudden laugh rumbled in the pilot’s belly as he wrapped his arms loosely around Gavin's waist. “Pencil me in? Listen here, love.” He smirked, walking forward and causing Hux to walk backwards in the process, until he had him pinned against the wall of the shower. “You either go all in, or not at all. You can take that pencil and throw it right out the damn window. Find yourself a marker. Some paint. Write it in the sky for all I care; this date is happening.”

As he stepped away from the pilot, stopping only when he was backed against a wall and could go no further, the strategist's smile grew. Dameron's confidence was back, it would seem, now that he knew Hux's answer. The lopsided smile on bitten lips and the quirk of a dark eyebrow settled back on Poe like it was his default expression.

Strike that, it _was_ his default.

The pilot was slowly beginning to feel a bit better about all of it - the night, the date, the redhead. But now he had a whole new set of problems to face. Where would he bring Hux? It’s not like there’s much privacy on base. What would they do? How should he dress?

It wasn’t as if Poe could bring Gavin to the mess hall to have dinner with him. They’d be swarmed in a matter of minutes by other recruits, higher ups, everyone, really. Would he cook..? He wasn’t prepared to make a grand feast big enough to impress a son of an Aristocratic family. Perhaps something more romantic. A flight in his X-Wing..? No, too…Lesson-y. Huffing through his nostrils, the pilot’s head tipped to the side and he bent in, pressing his lips against Gavin’s with a firm, though gentle press.

Gavin accepted the kiss that he was gifted with before breaking it with a chuckle. "Cogs turning in your head again?" Their gazes locked. "Stop thinking. Just do whatever you feel is right - you're better that way. It's a strength of yours, your instinctual feelings and--I'm doing it again." The ginger forced his more professional side out of the forefront of his mind to return the Commander's grin. "So it's happening. I don't have a marker, paint, or god-like abilities to move the stars around, though, so, a pencil will have to work."

The tiles against his back were cold compared to the rest of the room and they pulled the heat from his skin in a soothing transference of temperature - like an ice bath after a marathon. This _is_ what he wanted, right? Yes. For that he was certain. This is exactly what he wanted, even if it ended in flames. It had been too long since he last trusted anyone or had anyone care enough...no, to care at all.

"Have any ideas?" Hux murmured against Dameron's lips.

“Mmmm,” Poe’s lips puckered some, just enough to gift the Rebel recruit a few more lazy pecks. His head tipped forward so that their foreheads were pressed together and he smiled, realizing he nearly had to stand on his tiptoes now to do so. “I have a few ideas.” Alright, so maybe his new lover didn’t have to know that inside, a thousand miniature Poes were running wild in his mind, desperately searching for any idea that might even remotely appease the sarcasm-driven pilot. “Maybe I’ll just tuck us away in some dark corner to work on a few more marks for you.”

Chuckling lowly, Poe stepped back and under the direct stream of water. He lifted his hands as he tossed his head back, shaking the soap free from the saturated curls. A split second before his eyes had shut, however, he noted several rather dark spots staining Gavin’s paled complexion and his smirk turned more into a proud grin.

When the suds were out of his hair and heading towards the drain, Poe reached around for the shampoo. With a decent palm full, he reached up and started washing the fiery red locks, making sure to massage the scalp as much as he could. 

“Wonder how much shit you’re going to get about those marks,” he spoke out once more, though this time his voice was a bit deeper, weighed down with concern and worry. “If anyone says anything to you, just let me know. I’ll handle it.” Of course he couldn’t waltz in there with Hux thrown over his shoulder. He wouldn’t be able to flat out defend him like an overprotective boyfriend, knowing they’d have to keep as much of a low profile as possible. He didn’t want anything to effect Gavin’s chances of becoming a pilot; Poe made a mental note to find out if there were any policies against dating his trainees…

The ginger hair quickly turned into a pile of bubbles and oddly sticking up locks. He ducked under the water, rinsing out the cheap product as he finally spoke again. "I think you know I can handle it as well, Poe. I have a particular way to get people to bend and break." And maybe that was too dark of an answer. Maybe the tease hadn't quite reached his voice. Maybe he should really stop almost giving himself away.

Hux hummed as the shampoo-suds washed out of his hair and down his back, leaving a smell behind that could only be described as 'soap'. He missed the spice-infused product he had. They were expensive and rightfully so. Perfectly crafted and very high quality. Much better than the liquid plastic the Resistance apparently thought was good for hygiene.

He did wonder, though, exactly what they were going to do. He completely understood professionalism. Had their roles been reversed and they were aboard the Finalizer, Hux would want everything under wraps. He had a reputation and even the thought of dating someone would put cracks in his mask. He wasn't even sure if they would want to do things like hold hands as they wandered around the halls. Poe seemed to be an odd mix of enjoying displays of affection and shying away from attention. And Hux? Well, he was someone who put great deals of care into his public image, and hardly any into his private.

"I don't think, well, no. I'll have problems, but nothing too malicious," the redhead continued his thoughts, more controlled, now. "And I'm quite fond of you adding more marks. I like you staking your claim." Gavin stepped out from under the water, wiping droplets from his face and pushing his hair back. "Is this date of ours going to be a surprise?"

A surprise to both of them, actually. A soft, breathy laugh came from the Commander as he thought about it, then turned a gaze to Hux. Giving his shoulders a quick lift, he shrugged. “I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.” His voice trailed off into a little sing-songy pitch as he flashed a toothy grin his way. Poe was expecting himself to be heavily consumed in his own thoughts come tomorrow morning, and that only surged guilt within him. He couldn’t allow himself to be off on another mental planet trying to plan a first date while attempting to give a lecture.

“But… This brings us back to our original problem. I don’t know what you like. What you hate. A few clues as to what to avoid would come in handy.” As he spoke, he reached behind the lithe body to snatch up the bar of soap. He suds his hands up before bringing them around to Hux’s front. The bar in one hand, a collection of bubbles in the other, he began running his hands up and down the pale chest. He watched as his tanned fingers covered every little indent, every dip of muscle that they came across. Gavin truly was a gorgeous male, and the Rebel fighter was glad he allowed himself the opportunity to finally see that.

As his hands moved further up and over slender shoulders, Poe lifted his gaze. Any amusement or hint of playfulness had faded away, instead replacing with a curious heat. He wanted to know every little blemish, every freckle and every little hair adorning this man. He wanted to know what parts of him would make him scream with need if he marked him there, if there were any ticklish spots he should pay special mind to.

Licking his lips, Poe had to step back and turn around to gather his thoughts once more. He could feel that heat pooling low in his gut and he didn’t want to think himself into an aroused state while spreading soap and suds over Gavin’s naked body. Last thing he wanted was for the redhead to think him some creepy pervert that only wanted him around for sex.

Hux's green eyes rarely left Dameron's hands, only flicking up to meet the pilot's gaze and drop back down. It wasn't as though he didn't think the pilot trustworthy, but each step in his life taught him to be overly cautious with people, especially when in a vulnerable state, such as being in a shower with one other person in a far corner of a base he didn't belong in. Then again, they already had been much closer than this.

When the Commander turned away, the General's own playfulness returned - or, perhaps, it was his need to possess and keep and claim. Regardless, he stepped forward, pale hands massaging tense shoulders and slowly moving to press and rub knotted muscles in Poe's back. "Do you ever relax? Or unwind in any way?" Hux kept his voice soft as he tried to work out a tight area between the darker man's shoulder blades.

As soon as the muscles under his fingers started to loosen, Gavin leaned forward, pressing a few kisses against the back and side of his lover's neck. He hovered over one area, smirk falling back into place, and nipped at it before trailing down to the junction of shoulder and neck. Once he picked his place, the ginger sealed his over Poe's skin, sucking a mark of his own onto the tan man. When he pulled back, he pressed a kiss to the bruise and stepped away completely. "You want to know me, Poe? Ask a question for me to answer."

Well, so much for keeping his arousal at bay. The much needed massage was bad enough, but then Gavin had to go and add his tongue, teeth, and lips into the mix. Leaning forward a tad bit, Poe rested his palm against one of the walls, and allowed a groan to vibrate deep inside his throat. A shiver crept down his spine that radiated throughout his body, giving him a slight chill. “Mmngh, stop…” He pleaded with no power behind his words, letting his voice drift off into a slight chuckle.

“Mmm, questions…” Turning around, Poe made no effort to hide his half-aroused cock, figuring Hux had seen it in its full erect glory anyways. He bumped his lover playfully out of the spray of the water so he could fully finish rinsing off, running his hands up and down his chest, arms, and legs to make sure no suds remained.

“What is your favorite thing to do while relaxing?” Simple enough question. A date, after all, should be somewhat relaxing. He had no intentions of keeping them busy from start to finish; he did want to take the opportunity to get to know more about this man. If they ended the night busy, together, well… Poe would not be one to object. “And don’t say relax, or I swear I will make our date sitting in your barracks staring at each other with all the other recruits staring at us.” Once the suds were gone completely, he gave his soaked hair a good tousle beneath the spray before stepping away from the water completely to give Hux a chance to rinse off as well.

The snarky answer - completely predicted by his lover - died on Hux's tongue as he clicked his mouth closed. He tried to remember the last time he actually relaxed and didn't immediately fall asleep out of exhaustion. As he thought, he stepped back under the water, fully rinsing out his hair before a dark smile graced his lips.

"How did you know that all I wanted to do was have everyone stare at us while we sat around and tried to decide if we were going to fight or fuck?" The General's voice dripped with sarcasm. "My favorite way _to_ relax is stargazing," he answered, voice almost distant as memories of his mother and he laying out on a long stretch beach filtered into his head. He paused, focusing for a moment on just cleaning his hair.

"Dè toigh leam?" Gavin asked himself. What did he like? "I like getting away from things - you know, take walks, curl up and watch a holofilm. For all of my expensive tastes, I enjoy simple things during relaxation."

The ginger abruptly slowed his movements, turning each scrub into a caress. He gently trailed his hands down his own chest. Pale fingers brushed away the remaining suds, but lingered - mapping out his own form for Poe to see. A soft gasp escaped him as he ran his hand across his sensitive collarbone and then up the side of his neck and back into red locks of hair. His other hand slipped lower, meanwhile, as it traced the line of his hipbone and rubbed across his own waist before joining it's match in Hux's hair to finish the final rinse.

A cliche idea slipped into his mind as he finally stopped his teasing. "Are _you_ ever going to fly me around?"

The Rebel Commander was utterly entranced by the vision of beauty before him. Darkened eyes greedily took in as many details of this moment as they possibly could, unrelenting in their persistent up and down scanning. Gavin was simply too gorgeous… Too…Perfect, flaws and all. A soft smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he processed the words. “I’m alright with a combination of both fighting and fucking. Though… Probably not in front of everyone in the barracks. I might have a bit of a public kink, but not that extreme,” he chuckled, waiting until the suds quit falling from his arousing body.

“And maybe I’ll take for you a spin tomorrow on our date. Maybe not. You’ll have to wait and see how it all pans out.” With a smug smirk, the Commander leaned in and pressed his lips to Hux’s. A couple lingering pecks later, he stepped away and out of the shower completely. Giving his half-hardened prick a couple tugs to try and smooth it down, he reached for a towel to start drying off with.

“Stargazing, huh? Just laying outside, looking up at the sky?” Dameron wasn’t mocking the ginger’s idea, more or less mulling it over in his mind instead. He hadn’t actually gone out and stargazed in what felt like a century. Normally when it stormed, he would find himself a dry place to sit and watch the weather in all its natural beauty, but having spent a good majority of his life in the stars, he never really thought to lay back and admire them from below. He nodded to himself, lips pursed together. Stargazing. That’d be nice. He knew of the most perfect spot to do so at.

Hux stayed under the spray of the water for a few more seconds as Dameron walked out, only moving to turn it off and step out himself when the pilot spoke again. "There's more to stargazing than just looking up - or, well..." He trailed off as he grabbed a towel and made quick work of his own drying.

The General lived in the stars - rarely actually set foot on earth. His entire existence was made up of twinkling balls of light glowing against the darkest backdrop imaginable. He was a man of planet systems and galaxies. They were his home. And they were his past.

The ginger ruffled his damp hair, hung the towel back in its place, and started to get dressed...again. Poe's clothes fit him surprisingly well - the few inches of height difference between them not translating in an overly obvious manner into clothing size. Yes, the sweatpants were baggy on his slight frame and ended a little higher up than they were supposed to and the tank top didn't so much hug his frame as it lightly held it, but they were comfortable and warm and clean.

He could change, again, later to be more presentable.

"I used to learn folklore about the stars when I was younger. Perhaps that's where my interest in stargazing comes from," Gavin finally stated when he turned back to the pilot. Perhaps that was also part of the reason he had given up solid ground - the few happy memories he had from his childhood all included stars. It was a good escape.

Seeing Hux dressed in the pilot’s clothes gave Poe a warm sensation in his chest. The look was rather endearing, actually, and as soon as he was clothed, Poe reached out, hooking his finger in the waistband of the sweatpants. “Wow, Gavin...” He chuckled softly, tugging him closer. The Rebel fighter had already wrapped the towel around his waist and had it hanging low on his hips. “C’mere…”

With a smirk, he encircled his arms around the slender waist, loving that he had to tip his head up slightly to get a proper look at his lover. Even though he took the more dominant spot when it came to coupling, Poe had always found himself attracted to men either taller than him, wider, or a subtle combination of the both.

His head tipped to the side as he kissed Hux, moving their lips slowly and softly with gentle presses. The soft smacking sound their mouths made with each disconnection had the Commander’s heart racing until he finally broke the kiss. “I…Could get used to this,” another low chuckle rumbled in his throat as he shot his lover a playful wink.

Walking from the refresher, one hand lifted to brush through unruly locks, Poe headed back towards his bedroom to find his own clothes to change in to for the evening. “So, indulge me. What sort of stories were you raised on?” His father was not a big story teller; they had their little tales they exchanged growing up, but Dameron was always intrigued with learning more. Even if they were simple folklore or tales of myth.

The gentle kisses shared between them, the hold around his waist - strong, present, but still light and easy to remove - that had tethered them together in a way that Hux was coming to completely craveprompted ice-colored eyes to track the remaining drips of water that sparkled on Dameron's back. Hux wasn't entirely sure if he had ever had a specific 'type' in regards to people he was attracted to, but he knew that the pilot was the opposite of every single bullet point on his list. His previous lovers had always been bigger than him in stature. None of them waited for him to tell them that they could be rougher before they were already doing it. None of them held him without the intention of following it up with pressing him face-first into the nearest surface.

Gavin had to admit that he liked the difference.

White teeth sunk into the corner of a pale pink lip as a jade gaze watch Poe dress. "I don't know. All sorts," the General stated. "My mother used to tell me stories of the constellations and various cosmic events - like the eclipse or fallen stars that turned into elementals." He sat down on the bed and then laid back, stretching out over the soft bedding beneath him. "Her favorite story was of the seasons - the lore of how they came to be."

Poe settled on wearing a tight fitting pair of boxer briefs that clung to his body like a second skin, but a loose fitting plain t-shirt on top. While the pilot highly preferred sleeping nude, he had been woken one too many times in the middle of the night to an alarm blaring. And he found it was much easier to simply throw on his flight suit rather than having to dress fully in the dark, half-asleep. Gazing at his lover sprawled out on the bed, a warm smile tugged at his lips and a gentle warmth breezed over his cheeks.

“Comfy, are we?” He laughed lightly as he crawled alongside next to him. The Commander remained on his side, his elbow pressed into the bed while his palm supported his cheek, and he cast his eyes down on the relaxed face. His other arm reached over and slung lazily over the redhead’s stomach, holding him with a caring embrace.

It almost seemed wrong how natural this felt between them. Poe was completely, 100% relaxed with his recruit; it was a total turnaround from where they first started. “Will you tell me a story?” He asked with a soft hint of hopefulness to his voice, offering the ginger a friendly smile. His fingers brushed underneath the hem of the tanktop and began to trace invisible patterns over the warm flesh on Gavin’s waist.

This position and the soft tones of their voices almost felt like a page marker to the ginger, identifying exactly what chapter and page they were on at the moment.

At some point, the Hux's eyes had fallen shut, only opening again when the black-haired man spoke, his voice a distant rumble that comforted Gavin's relaxed mind even further. A story? There were so many he could tell. Silly little myths that his mother's people decided were somehow important enough to pass down through generations, but not _write_ down. He traced Dameron's smile with his gaze and then with his fingers, trailing the tips of them from one up-curve, over the bottom lip, and ending at the other corner of the man's mouth.

"What do you want to hear about?" Gavin asked quietly, confirming that he was willing to weave a tale, but he needed guidance. He helped try and narrow his query. "Do you want a story of stars, seasons, or elements? I can chose from there, but...my mother told me too many to just pick one at random." The hand that traced Poe's smile fell to rest in the crook of the pilot's bent elbow. "Your choice, Flyboy."

There was such a wealth of stories Poe could indulge in, but what he wanted to know was what Gavin’s favorite story was. Grand as they may be, he didn’t want any plain ole run of the mill tale. No, he wanted to know which one spoke to Hux the deepest. Which one eased him at the time of pain? Lulled him into relaxation at a rather improbable time? Was there one particular one that he could still hear his mother reciting when he thought back to it now?

“Tell me whatever story is your favorite. You said the one of lore of the seasons was hers, but which one was your favorite one to hear?”

His lips maintained a warm smile, even after his lover had teased and traced them with his fingers. Poe could see the piercing green eyes studying his facial features earlier and ever since, it left a gentle warm hue over his cheeks. All in all, he felt rather…content. For the time being, it was just him and this pilot recruit training beneath his title. There was no war, no First Order, no fighting, no drama, no anger. And Poe began to realize how badly he wanted away from it all. To just focus on being happy, for once. The same as when he was very young and his parents wanted out.

The ginger pondered - his favorite story? Of all the things he was told, which was his favorite? He knew many - had forgotten some - and enjoyed most of them. A smile suddenly played across his lips. Oh. But _that_ one...

"My mother's people believed that, at one time, everyone looked the same. That all of us had the same skin tone and hair and eyes. Different, witnessed events are what caused the star-gods to change how we are and to make us unique," Hux rolled onto his side to face the pilot. His gaze fell to somewhere on the man's chest as he recalled how the tale was supposed to be told. "The story goes that when the world was first created, everyone lived together and there was no day or night. As time went on, the population began to war with itself."

Gavin's features softened as he recalled his mother telling him this in her native tongue, teaching him not only the folklore, but also the words that made it up.

"One of the tribes left the homeland and traveled west, chase the sun, hoping to conquer it and use it as a weapon, but it kept running from them. And the farther they went, the more they saw the light change on the horizon. The skies light up in colors that they had never seen before - like fire in the sky," The General chuckled - that's how she had always said it.

"When they reached the horizon, the colors were so vibrant and beautiful. Hues of gold, orange, and red stretched everywhere and the white light of the sun shown off the ocean water. It was the first sunset - dol fodha na grèine," Hux paused to shift slightly closer to Poe, a spark flickering in his jade eyes and an almost dreamy smile painted on his mouth. "Upon seeing such beauty, the tribe's hair turned the color of the sky, and their skin turned as white as the reflected light. Their eyes turned different shades of greens and blues, like the ocean."

The ginger suddenly ducked his head, half-shy and half-embarrassed at his own excitement of the tales of old. "But...anyway, that was how my mother's people believe that red hair came about. Tha an sgeulachd teine - the Tale of Fire."

Poe wasn’t entirely sure if it was the actual story being told, the passion dripping off of every syllable, or the accent thick in his lover’s voice, but he found himself fully entranced at the moment. His eyes were wide, focused solely on the deep green ones gazing down, and his lips slightly parted due to his jaw hanging slack. As the story neared its ending, the Rebel fighter allowed his lids to sheathe his eyes in order to fully picture the story as it was happening.

But his mind drifted slightly. He saw a large, white, nearly blinding orb off in the distance; the sun, he assumed. And from it sauntered a silhouette of a person. A man, perhaps, due to lack of natural curve. Slender, tall. Confident steps, chin held high. The next part that became visible were two alluring green spots. Eyes. Staring directly at him. Heating him in a way not even the sun could. That had Poe matching Gavin’s dreamy smile. Then the hair; that bright, attention grabbing, soft hair he found himself loving to caress. Finally, Gavin stepped forward out of the sun, exactly as how the story had gone.

“Wow…” The pilot’s eyes began to flutter back open, though they remained half-lidded. His goofy smile only increased and he gave the warm hip he was still holding a loving squeeze.

“You’re beautiful.” His words were soft, but they held a lot of weight to them. Poe could see the way Hux ducked his head so shyly and it made his smile grow. Moving the hand from its original place on his hip, Dameron curled a finger gently beneath the redhead’s chin, having him look up and look him in the eye. “Like your mother’s story spoke of. You’re beautiful.”

Hux wasn’t quite certain what to expect when Dameron tilted his head up, but he wasn’t expecting the praise that he received. A dusting of pink coated his cheeks and he glanced to the side before looking back at the pilot who still held him in place with such a gentle touch. The ginger’s smile had faded after his story ended, but it made a bashful return as he held the Commander’s smoldering gaze.

He found no mocking in those onyx eyes – only truth and calm and warmth.

Gavin wanted to say something witty. He wanted to break whatever odd spell that Dameron had bewitched him with…but his voice failed. He leaned up to bump his forehead against his lover’s and then settle ever closer, pressing himself completely against the pilot’s body and shifting down so he could hide himself away against the broad chest before him.

He leaned backward so he could easily see Dameron’s face. This wasn’t how the General acted. This was how Gavin acted…and Hux honestly couldn’t remember the last time that he was free to be himself instead of just a military persona. “Hardly beautiful,” he stated at last. “At least, not compared to present company.”

Knowing how proud and confident the male currently snuggled up against him could naturally be made the Rebel Commander smile even more down upon him to see him reduced to such shyness. The compliment directed towards him, however, brought upon his own gentle blush and he chuckled. Even when he knew there were quite the few who found him appealing and wanted their own chance to be with him, Poe never truly believed he was that attractive. He acted it, though, with that desire to keep respect, but deep down, he felt himself to be plain, unworthy almost.

“I hate to say it, love. But if you think I’m beautiful, you may need to readjust what you qualify as such.”

Poe attempted to maintain a level of teasing to his words, but he knew he failed. The tone he adapted to was one of self-loathing, insecurities, and little self-worth. It did warm him deeply, however, to think someone as enticing as the redheaded recruit would think him beautiful, but the walls he had built up around himself just did not allow him to honestly believe him. Too many nights were spent hating every bit about himself. The confident, cocky pilot one would meet in the hangar or up in battle melted away the moment the door to his quarters slid shut behind him, leaving an unsure, nearly panicking little boy in its place.

The tone that came with the words dripped them in acid. Hux shifted backward, watching the other man carefully - ever studying, ever calculating, ever seeking the best strategy. The way the comment was said - the way that it was obviously supposed to be a joke, but realistically became a cry of insecurity - had the General curious.

In the First Order, it didn't matter how anyone looked so long as they were within regulation. Uniformity was a standard. Conformity was a bond. The few times he saw a stormtrooper with their helmet off, he was reminded that his soldiers were actually people and actually had identities and facial details. He had seen all kinds of people - big, small, noble, common, Kylo. The knight had a category all to himself until the redhead could decide whether to sort him under 'minor inconveniences' or 'future target practice'.

But Poe was a different breed all together.

His face was almost perfectly symmetrical and completely unblemished. Golden skin was shaded near his jaw with the barest hint of stubble that framed his lips like a tease. His dark eyes were almost doe-like and, when he smiled, the skin around them crinkled in a way that only a lifetime of smiling could. Slightly curly hair that would eventually dry into perfect waves danced and bounced each time he moved his head, falling around his face and drawing attention down to his strong jawline.

Hux had never been a good judge of beauty - he never cared to be, it didn't matter in a war - but he was certain that it applied to Poe. "Perhaps I should readjust what I qualify as such so that you are the standard. I may never use the term 'beautiful' again, but at least it would be accurate that way."


	17. Please Stay

Being under Hux’s scrutinizing gaze had the Rebel pilot blushing madly. He hated to be inspected and judged, especially in such an up close and personal manner. But something about the way the potential squadron pilot was looking at him eased him at the same time. There was no sneer pinching up his lip, no disgust and distaste flashing over inviting eyes. It was a look of awe almost, and it had been some time since he had genuinely seen it on someone.

“N-No, I… It’s…” Licking his lips, Poe huffed and settled on his back. Both hands clasped together beneath his head, feeling the still wet curls pressing into his palms. If he wasn’t careful, he would soon find himself lost in thought. Hux had noticed it happening more than once now, and he didn’t want his lover to think him some spaced out basket case. But when you’ve spent so much time on your own, battling through the swamplands of your mind, it just…happened. Regardless of present company or not. “So what happened to the other people? The ones that didn’t seek the sun?”

It was a simple way to take the conversation off of himself and back onto something they both could be intrigued with. There was true curiosity behind his words and Poe turned his head to face Gavin once again. He wanted to see that passion growing behind jade eyes. Wanted to hear that intoxicating accent blanketing each word in an entrancing way. Poe could listen to Hux recite an owner’s manual for an X-Wing and still be just as lulled by his voice. That right there confirmed the Commander’s original thought that Hux could excel in a powerful, commanding role one day.

The sudden change in subject was as obvious of a dismissal as it was a cover up for something much deeper than that. In an attempt to comfort - and perhaps as a way to ease the doubt that plagued the mind of a man so much like himself - the ginger shifted forward, leaning on Poe and resting his head on the other man's shoulder. His gaze turned upward to meet the hypnotic, black eyes staring down at him. "Some died out in the war for land. Another group of people went east and found the sunrise and the yellow rays bleached their hair blonde and their eyes turned as blue as the sky," He retold the tales - more of a summary of them than the actual story. "Some stayed in the night and became fierce warriors and everything about them grew darker so that they could hide in the shadows." He smiled suddenly. "And one group of people's skin turned gold and their eyes grew black as night when they gazed upon the eclipse of the sun. But..." The ginger trailed off teasingly. "That's another story entirely, the eclipse."

Gavin leaned up to press a kiss under Poe's jaw, then another to his cheek, and finally placed one on the pilot's lips. Then the General moved, shifting around so that he was perpendicular to the Commander and could recline back against him and rest his shoulders and head on Dameron's chest.

As the redhead settled so comfortably against his chest, a smile once again graced the lips of the pilot. He gazed up at the ceiling, no longer seeing the stark white color it normally held. Instead, his mind projected the image of the folklore characters yet again; the beautiful, bright, captivating Gavin Hux, but now a darker, more mysterious, drawn-back version of himself. The bronzed skin, sharp features, charcoal for eyes. It further solidified his previous thought of them being cut from the same thread, though on two vastly different paths in life. But that deepened his thought pattern, changed it to a different route. Though their pasts _were_ in fact different, their current paths intertwined. Perhaps they were much more alike after all? Both fighting on the same side of the war, both fighting the same demons of the past.

Hux sighed and closed his eyes for a few moments of silence before he opened them and sat up. "You are, you know. Beautiful."

A soft whimpered sound left the Commander’s lips as Hux moved, once more speaking of Poe’s beauty. The frown that took over the recently relaxed expression was either from the loss of warmth and closeness from the recruit’s sudden change of position, or from the persistent words declaring his good looks. Either way, Poe huffed. “You’re determined, aren’t you? To make me believe you?”

He wasn’t annoyed, exactly, but he wasn’t entirely thrilled either that this conversation had picked up once again. Deep down, the Rebel fighter _was_ grateful that Gavin had felt that way. It did cause his heart to miss a beat or two. But at the same time, he had spent so many nights convincing himself that he was nothing but a pathetic junkie who deserved no more than to seek death on the grimy floor of an abandoned building while over the edge on Tar that he just could not see the beauty within him. But those were thoughts for another time.

"You'll find, Commander, that it is rather difficult to break my focus, once it's locked on something," the ginger paused. "I know what it's like to have your life in tatters. I know what it's like feel worthless and useless."

Well, not anymore. Hux's position and power had people envious. People feared him, now, not the other way around. People also didn't really care about him, personally, so long as he could do his job, but, well, he didn't need people snooping around him, anyway.

What was the phrase? It's lonely at the top? Something akin to that.

With a sigh, the ginger took in everything from a stranger's point of view. A First Order General and a Resistance Commander, tangled up in one another in a battle of intimacy, not war. An undercover mission turned on its head by revelations that never were supposed to be made. Lovers locked in a dance that had no soft ending - there was no seal-the-deal dip, but a hard fall waiting at the end of the song. This all seemed very close to treason and betrayal. One day, very soon, Hux would have to stop and ponder where the line between himself and his mission's character was drawn, because he had accidentally erased it at the beginning of all this - back there, in the other room, he must have scuffed it away when he almost fell on the rug, but found himself caught and supported.

The General shifted again, crawling over the pilot so that he could look down on him. One leg on either side of the tan frame of the man who embodied the eclipse. He could see the man better this way. He could tell when the pilot became lost in thought by how focused the man's gaze was on his own. Gavin leaned down, whispering softly against his lover's lips, "where do you go? What do you see, when you're not here?" A pause. "Tell me a story."

The warmth residing upon his lower half was highly welcomed. The pilot's strong hands automatically reached out and rested on the slender hips, anchoring his lover firmly in place. Though the grip wasn't tight, it was enough to keep Gavin in place had he tried to roll away. Darkened eyes gaze up at the icy green ones above him and he can't control or contain the faint smile reappearing on his lips. But as those eyes narrowed slightly on his own, the smile he had recently gained began to vanish. He could tell that Hux was reading into his gaze, and the questions he asked were simple proof to that. Clearing his throat, Poe sighed and turned his head to the side. With the gaze breaking, the pilot felt the warmth draining away. Where did he go? A million different places. A great majority of them darker than the next.

He had started to respond with another sigh, not entirely sure how he would able to explain the places his mind takes him too or the imagery he's forced to endure, but Hux beat him to it with a request for a story. A personal story? An explanation of his mind's cruelest tricks? Or a story similar to the one he was told?

"My father, he..." Licking his lips, Poe settled his gaze on the far wall, focusing on nothing in particular. "Well, my mother was always the one who knew the right stories to tell at the right time, but, when she..." Her death still affected him to this day, even if he would never admit it to himself or anyone else. "There was a tale he used to tell me. Of the Sun and the Moon. And how the Moon was eternally in love with the Sun, entranced by the blinding beauty she held. The Moon would chase her, but the Moon brought darkness with him wherever he went, which terrified the Sun. The Sun continued to gain distance before growing tired, giving the Moon adequate time to catch up. Finally, the two met. And the Sun realized, that even the darkness held beauty to it. Their first child was a Star. A small blip of light in a dark sky. They both realized, however, that when together, neither could shine in their own glory. But apart, they ached for the difference the other could bring. They continued their chase and meet over time, filling the sky with more and more beautiful reminders of their unfading love for one another."

At the end of his story, Poe finally looked up into the eyes of his lover, feeling that smile returning with ease.

The ginger listened carefully to the story and returned the pilot's smile when it reemerged. He processed the story and all that it entailed. A literal star-crossed tale of two celestial lovers, destined to always move around each other, but never be together for long. How appropriate.

Except there was no unfading love and reminders of what once was - what _could have_ been. No, they were not the sun and moon, but, for the time being, Hux could humor the thought that everything would somehow settle and work - like putting a final piece in a massive, war-torn jigsaw puzzle.

Gavin pressed a kiss to Poe's smiling lips, keeping them suspended in the moment as he slowly deepened it. He shifted his weight so that he could lay a hand over one of the Commander's. As the languid movements of their mouths and tongues continued, the ginger was struck with how absolutely surreal this all felt - especially with all the information that he knew that was completely unknown to the pilot beneath him.

"And which are we?" He teasingly asked, voice hushed as he broke the kiss and opened his eyes. He stayed close to his pseudo-mentor, as if the strategist was drawn in by a gravitational pull that he couldn't get out of - didn't want to get out of. "Are you the moon to my sun, or are you the eclipse to my sunset?"

Poe’s mind was still in a bit of a fog once the kiss ended and his lips still puckered up for more. Slowly parting his eyelids, he gazed up at the male who remained close to him and smiled. He had to think for a moment, really process the question before he could answer. A bit of both, he thought to himself, smiling as he reached up to cup a side of Gavin’s face with his palm. His thumb swiped over a cheekbone, admiring the flush that clung to his more delicate features.

“Can we not be both?” The Commander finally spoke in a soft, nearly whispered tone. His lips, still holding the spark Hux’s own lips brought, twitched up into a grin. “Sometimes you remind me of the sun. Bold, in your face, unrelenting, proud… Far too annoying when I'm hungover,” he teased with a soft chuckle, his grin fading to a warmer, more natural smile now. “But now that I have stopped and taken the time to truly admire you, you remind me more of a sunset. A sunset is too commonly overlooked. So when you’re able to truly take a step back and appreciate things for what they are instead of the initial, blinding appearance, you realize how truly gorgeous it can be. Then you decide you want to appreciate that sunset over,” his words softened even more as he lifted his head to place a linger kiss on Gavin’s lips, “and over,” another kiss, this time lasting a bit longer, “and over…”

The third time, he slid a hand through damp, unbrushed locks, pulling Hux into a more proper kiss. He moved their mouths together, barely allowing any space to happen between them, as a soft grunt rolled from his mouth into the other’s.

Gavin hummed at the explanation - impressed that the man had actually taken the time to think before he spoke. Jade eyes fluttered closed as their kiss continued and he lost himself to the shared vocalizations, warm breath, and wet sounds that came along with it. The pale hand that rested over its tan counterpart tightened and pulled the pilot's grip from his hip so that their fingers could interlock.

"Both is good," Hux whispered when they paused. "Because sometimes you remind me of the moon. You're calm and gentle, like the moon reflecting the intense light of the sun. You're inspiring and mysterious - you draw people to you without ever trying and you leave them before they can see all of you. You dance in starlight." The General's cheshire grin returned so quickly that his lips hurt. He wiggled his hips in a tease and lowered his head to kiss the place he had sucked a mark into, then moved back up. "And other times, you're like an eclipse: alluring..." Hux kissed Poe's cheek. "Fleeting..." He kissed the corner of the Commander's mouth and then raised up completely and gazing down at the curly-haired man. This - looking down on others - was something that the ginger was very used to and he collected his expression into a smirk and teasing arch of his brow. "Captivating for about eight minutes until a sunset shows you up in front of everyone." His leer broke into a genuine smile at his own joke.

Gavin’s way of connecting Poe to the moon, that correlation spoken so perfectly that a poet couldn’t even do it justice, had the Rebel fighter so utterly in a trance that at first, that teasing jest at the end went completely past him. It took the cogs in his mind a few minutes to backtrack and replay the words, but when he did, he scoffed playfully. “Is that so?” Without warning, Poe rolled them so that they were both laying on their sides, then once more so that he was right back on top of his lover. Their hands maneuvered so he hand Gavin’s pinned down into the mattress and he leaned back, a wide, playful smirk tugging his lips at the corner. “You’re saying I was only captivating for eight minutes, huh?”

Poe didn’t linger very long in that position though. He had them rolled further towards the wall once again with the redhead back on top. His hands let go of the other’s as they slid beneath the borrowed tank top. Fingertips dug into the warm flesh, trailing up and down. “I think I captivated for a little bit longer than just eight minutes before the sunset cut in and ruined my glory,” he laughed, scrunching his nose up in the process before settling his grip back on the waist.

Hux had cried out in surprise when he was initially thrown off balance, but by the time he was sitting upright, again, his laughter was harmonizing with Dameron's in a cacophony of joy and attraction and tease. Green eyes that had slid closed as he giggled softly opened again when the large hands started exploring his skin. He touch sent shivers down the ginger's spine and the grip that now resided on his slender waist made his heart skip a beat.

"Oh, I ruined your glory, did I?" Gavin joked, his own hands dancing over Poe's chest and then resting on his shoulders. "I sincerely apologize for stealing the glory away from you and back to where it belongs - and, you're right, I misspoke. Nine minutes."

The laughter that filled his small bedroom was a very welcomed sound; Poe had nearly forgetton what his own laughter sounded like, or even what it felt like to laugh. It was very obvious from their initial meet that the recruit brought out the absolute worst in him. But was it possible that he could also bring out the best, as well? Did Hux already have that capability to reach inside and not only touch those deep emotions and reactions, but draw them out as well? Laughter came so easily with the redhead. Easier than it has in quite some time. He chuckled frequently, maybe snorted with a smirk a few times here and there, but to actually laugh. To actually feel his eyes closing, his lips spreading wide, and teeth exposed. _That_ kind of laugh. No, that kind of laugh had become rare, indeed.

Hux let his hands slip off the pilot's shoulders and onto the bedding beside them, as he leaned down to rest his weight on his elbows - hovering just above the Commander. A pale hand shifted so it could run through messy locks of black hair - charcoal on papyrus, another line, another shaded area. The world wasn't so black and white, here, tangled up in one another like someone had taken a painting of Ying-Yang and shaken it around before it had time to dry. "You're gorgeous when you smile, Dubhadh," the words were soft and praising, like the first rays of sunlight filtering over the horizon. "I hope to see it happen more."

“Dubhadh.. What does that mean?” Poe cupped a side of Gavin’s face once more, letting him rest his head in it should he want to. The tips of his fingers that touched fiery hair moved softly, brushing against the locks, while his thumb rubbed soothing circles where it rested. 

There was simply no way that the Rebel Commander could ever promise to flash another smile. Sure, it felt so natural, so simple to do so with just Gavin there. And perhaps he could promise a few more while in the privacy of his home. But out there? On the tarmac? Or the hangar? With talk of war and death all around. Watching comrades go up into the stars for some mission, half of them never returning? Smiles and laughter just weren’t things they could afford at the time… Poe was certain that had a lot to do with his more hardened expressions lately. It wasn’t him. Truthfully, he used to always wear a smile on his face. But over time, when he lost those motivations to keep smiling, he simply… gave up. “I guess you’ll just have to keep giving me those reasons to smile, lucero.”

"Don't challenge me, Poe, you should know by now how that ends," the redhead leaned into the pilot's touch, gently dropping his head into it and letting the other man dictate what happened, there. "Dubhadh," he stated again slowly, overplaying his accent to show his lover how to say it. "It means eclipse. What's--how did you--lu-lucero? What does that mean?"

Hux couldn't get the smile off his face and that bothered him in part. He was _supposed_ to be in control of himself and he had long since thrown away any reason - any memory - associated with smiling. It was easier to pretend to not care about what happened around you when you forgot how to emote happiness. But, now, he couldn't help but return each smile and laugh, each kiss and touch, each breath of warmth and want for more. This couldn't be the pilot's doing. The General had cut all ties with human contact and emotional bonds, so why did all of this just feel like everything falling into place? It felt like all the clockwork was grinding smoothly again and the bell inside of his chest was finally able to ring.

It was just as terrifying as it was exhilarating.

He shifted his thoughts away from that. "Reasons to smile, hmm? Like what? You should know that I'm not going to do anything you say, well, out _there_ at least." He put on a fake air of haughtiness that was only half pretend. "I am, after all, captivating and beautiful. I've caught the eye of the great Poe Dameron, what more could I ask for?"

The sass and sarcasm that drifted past enticing lips simply caused the pilot’s mouth to stretch even more into a playful smirk. “I’ll find ways to make you listen to me,” he teased, lifting his head up to nibbled Gavin’s bottom lip into his mouth. “Think I’ll make it my goal to make sure you stay all nicely hot and bothered while I’m trying to give my lessons. I’m sure your little girlfriend Rico will enjoy that.” Capturing the bottom lip in his teeth once again, Poe suckled it into his mouth, groaning softly before drawing him in with a deepened kiss. His tongue rolled forward, once more staking claim in the recruit’s mouth. But before the kiss could get too involved, he pulled back to nibble some more on the bottom lip he was quickly growing very fond of. His hand slid up into the tank top once more, not pausing until his palm ground against a nipple. But then just like that, he completely stalled all his actions.

“You know what? I really do think I am looking forward to tomorrow’s lesson now.” His voice was slightly husked as he stared up at his lover with a newfound heat to his eyes. “And for the record, lucero… You’ve got to add a bit of the accent to it. Lucero. Means bright star. Though. I think I am going to change that to mocoso. Loosely translated to,” with a wink, his smirk returned, “brat.”

Hux started to repeat the foreign word when Poe changed it. Brat? Fine. He could work that to his advantage - coupled with the way that the Commander still had a lingering distaste of one of the other pilot recruits. If he were completely honest - and he never was - Gavin was completely uninterested in the brunette who reminded him much more of a dog than a soldier. 

"Mocoso?" Hux repeated with a small nod, lips pursed as if he was thinking hard about something. A slow grin etched onto his face as he pretended to think out loud. "I wonder if Rico knows Spanish. I think it would be interesting to see if I shiver as much when he talks to me as I do with you. A social experiment, perhaps?"

One thing Poe had never been very good at was handling jealousy. With Adrian, he had to grow used to people fawning over him. It wasn’t easy, but he figured he’d better just accept it, or prepare for a lifetime of such negativity. Being one who openly expressed even his simplest emotions, wearing his damn heart on his sleeve, Poe found it difficult to pretend as though nothing affected him. But this, with Gavin, this was all new and he, apparently, was going to have to learn all over how to handle jealousy. The redhead’s comment caught him completely off guard, so as his nostrils flared, he realized only too late that this wasn’t going to end pretty.

“Well then…” Clearing his throat, Poe not only removed his hands from Hux’s body to let them rest pointlessly on the bed beside him, but he also let the heat drain fully away from his gaze. His smile twitched before forming a faint sneer. “No one is forcing you to stay here.” He dropped his gaze away to the side, just the thought of Gavin going and flirting with Rico, or anybody for that matter, after what they just shared almost hurt him. “Go on, then. Go see if he makes you shiver.”

Sucking hit bottom lip into his mouth, Poe clamped down on it with his teeth. He had to silence himself before he said something completely out of line that would throw them right back into a downwards spiral, fully destroying everything that they had just built up to. “Tell you what, I’ll even let you keep my clothes on. Maybe it will drive him absolutely wild for you.” Sighing, not bothering to knock Hux off of him, Poe extended an arm towards his nightstand, barely reaching it, but managed to pull out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

Watching the pilot suddenly shut down brought forth and odd mix of reactions for the ginger. There was, of course, the disappointment that came with his tease being taken literally as well as the regret that he said something that made the hands on him fall away. There was pride, too, for being the person who was able to do this to the Rebel without ever trying. Sadness that he had done something to hurt his lover. But, intermingled with all of that, was a sense of happiness - the fact that Poe was willing to get jealous over some recruit, who touched the General far too much for his own good, meant that there _was_ a connection between them.

It meant that all of Hux's own thoughts - and probably conflicts - were swimming around in the Commander's head as well. The ginger knocked the cigarettes out of the pilot's hand, sending the box tumbling to the floor, before leaning forward to press a fleeing kiss to frowning lips.

"Tha thu a chothromachadh," Gavin murmured. "Everything _you_ do drives me wild for you. And _you_ make me shiver. And you may not be forcing me to stay, but I'm _choosing_ to." Each word was dipped with fondness and wrapped in a quiet contentedness. "Who needs a damn recruit when I have all I want, already?" The General's next kiss held an edge of possessiveness to it. "I don't exactly sleep around, Poe, though all evidence right now suggests otherwise."

The ginger suddenly rolled to the side, lying on his back, body spread out slightly in a subtle invitation for Dameron to take up the place on top of him...or to not. "If you want me to leave, say so. You're an adult, not a sulking child prone to temper tantrums. And if you want me to stay, tell me that."

Even through his jealous fit, Poe was still able to feel some comfort in his new lover’s words. It bothered him still that Gavin would even joke about something like that, especially if he knew the topic of Rico was a sore subject. The Commander was certain he would feel that animosity towards the other potential pilot for as long as him and Gavin were dating. Hopefully, with time, that would all settle down and mellow out; the Rebel fighter had a feeling that it never would. Though he could become quite possessive of the person he was with, Poe would never trap the other in the relationship into staying or force them to quit speaking to others. If Hux wanted to pursue a friendship with Rico, so be it. Didn’t mean Poe had to be happy about it, but in the end, that wasn’t his decision to make. Hux was a grown man who could pick and choose who he associated himself with.

“Ey, I’m not asking you to leave,” Poe grumbled, rolling his eyes as his redheaded lover settled by his side. He decided to roll the other way, however, and stretched an arm, nearly falling off the bed in the process, to snatch up his cigarettes once again. Not lighting one yet, he placed them upon the nightstand, keeping them close by, should he decide to light up, then turned onto his side to watch Hux. “I’m simply giving you the option. If you want to go get all chummy with the twerp, having him butcher my language in a pathetic attempt to impress you, then so be it. I won’t stop you. I won’t beg for you to stay with me.”

Deep inside, Poe wanted to say the exact opposite. But he couldn’t. Not this early into their relationship. If he were to give Hux that idea that he would beg and plead for his company this early, it could easily be twisted around and used against him. He would ache deeply if Hux were to take his leave, seek another’s company, but he wouldn’t voice that aloud. Even now, gazing down upon intoxicating green eyes, a whimpered sound wanted to be made from the pilot, simply at the thought that Hux would be taking his leave soon enough. If he were to stay the night tonight, would he the next night? Poe certainly wasn’t ready to offer the man a place to stay… Not so early into their companionship. But did he want to deal with the troubling thoughts that would gnaw away at his mind on the nights Gavin slept in the barracks?

One simple solution seemed to be the only option at the moment; he’d have to either get over it completely, or confront Rico. Tell the man to back off. Neither sounded very appealing, so Poe sighed.

“Please stay…” He finally grumbled in defeat, a dejected and saddened look taking over his eyes.

Hux watched his lover, looking up into dark eyes as the man’s tone and sad look spoke louder than his words ever could. It genuinely bothered the pilot to think of Gavin going to Rico. He had to hold back the laugh that wanted to sardonically fill the air. The General would eat Rico alive – the recruit would break before he ever knew what the ginger had done. He would bend and kneel before Hux without any effort at all, because he already adored the redhead – and for what? Standing up to their mentor on the first day? What a pathetic reason – adoring those who caused disorder was a slippery slope that led to the exaltation of chaos. 

No. He wasn’t interested in using Rico in any other way than a mask, a diversion that took attention away from anything that might make him stand out.

“Stay? Well, only if you insist,” Gavin started, cutting any response Poe may have voiced. “Oh, you do insist? Well, I suppose, then, I have no choice. I’ll stay.” He smirked at his own words. “And, trust me, that ‘twerp’ can hardly speak Basic, you’re by far more enticing.”

Poe was slowly starting to gain his cocky confidence back once again as he rolled his eyes at Hux’s inability to stop speaking when he should. Quirking a brow, the pilot’s lips pursed together, giving him a heavily sarcastic, ‘are you quite done yet..?’ look. “The only thing I insist, pal, is that you _shut up_ and kiss me.”

It would take a while for the Commander to get back into the swing of things regarding the entire dating scene. Granted, it would have been _loads_ easier had they actually known each other _somewhat_ before getting to this point. Not only will he be stuck trying to figure out the ins and outs of dating, he’d be trying to figure out the same with his lover. 

What words were safe to say? what words took things too far? What smiles were actual smiles, and which ones were forced to appease the other? When to avoid being around Hux, when he needed to be around the most? They seemed like the most trivial things ever to worry about, but they felt far more important to the Rebel fighter than things such as favorite color, favorite time of the day, etc. 

“Well? Are you going to defy a direct order from your Commander, recruit?” Poe lifted his brow then dropped it several times in quick motions as his playful smirk began to take over his features yet again, falling back into that playful atmosphere and pushing the negativity away.


	18. Playing Military and Walking on Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a longer chapter to make up for the lateness.
> 
> Love you all!!
> 
> Comments make our writing machines work better.
> 
> xoxo

Part of Hux bristled to be given any order at all – especially from someone who was of lower rank. He bit back own response of ‘don’t talk to a General that way.’ Instead he gave the man’s playful look and jab a sultry smile and leaned up to whisper, “No, Sir. Whatever you say, Sir.”

The first kiss that the ginger gave his mentor was nothing short of a joke – a quick press of lips against the man’s cheek. “Oh, so sorry, is that not what you wanted?” He jested before dropping his gaze to Poe’s mouth. “Perhaps you wanted something more like this.”

When their lips touched, Gavin was quick to deepen the kiss – coaxing the pilot’s tongue into twisting with his own. As soon as he had the chance, he broke the kiss slightly to nip and pull on Dameron’s lower lip. He let it go with a cheeky smile before restarting the lip lock. When they finally parted it was because of their inability to go through life without air. “Was that acceptable, Commander?” The General snarked. “Or, perhaps, I should give another demonstration?”

Something about the kiss had Poe panting and gasping as soon as Hux had pulled back. Either he was entirely too consumed in the moment prior to their shower to realize how bloody amazing of a kisser Gavin was, or something had switched in the recruit’s mind. It could easily be the teasing of the ranks, which Poe was starting to realize was a turn on to him. “D-Definitely need an, uh… Another d-demonstration of, oh fuck it.” Rolling over, he cupped one side of Gavin’s face and settled on top of him, instantly deepening the kiss to reach the level of passion it was just at. Both hands found their way into fiery red hair and tugged at the unbrushed locks. As he pulled on them, he rolled his hips forward, grinding down against him. 

The kiss broke with heavy panting as half-lidded eyes stared deep into alluring green ones. “Fuck, Gav…” Licking his swelling lips, a shuddered breath left the pilot and gusted warmth over his lover’s mouth. “Your Commander wants another kiss, recruit,” he husked, feeling himself slipping into a bit of a roleplay mood. “Direct order.” His tongue slid out once more as he pulled the ginger's bottom lip between his teeth, giving his hips another small roll into the other’s.

The General tilted his head as he realized the language change – recruit, Commander, direct order. Oh. 

Hux rolled his body under the pilot as he dropped his pale hands down to the hem of Poe’s shirt. His fingers lightly pressed into golden skin and hard muscle. He rubbed his hands upward to press his palms against Dameron’s torso. He turned his head away, debating the rules of this new game and what role he should play. It would be easy to turn the tables – and, really, Poe would never know the difference between his play-part and his true identity.

But he didn’t want that.

He turned back to his lover. “Yes, Sir.” The ginger leaned up to press a soft kiss to his lover’s lips before smirking. “You’re order is my command, Sir.”

The moment should _not_ have been as arousing as it currently was; for a brief moment, a flash of concern hit Poe’s mind as he debated whether he was taking advantage of the recruit, using his rank too literally in the moment. “You going to listen to…” Gazing into Hux’s eyes, however, he sighed and allowed his words to drift off. It didn’t feel right. Entirely arousing or not. Poe didn’t want to become that horny Commander on a power trip, on or off the tarmac. 

His next remark was going to be along the lines of, ‘you’re going to listen to me, or you’ll be punished’. And instantly, Poe thought back to the things Gavin had confided in him about his ex-fiance. That. Right there. That was the exact reason Poe was more concerned about what the right things to say were, and what weren’t, over favorite seasons, colors, and little trinkets of knowledge like that. He felt like he was about to cross a line he never wanted to cross. Worried he was going to trigger something within his lover that he didn’t even want to contemplate. 

Chuckling softly, the Commander leaned in to peck the redhead’s lips a few times. “You don’t have to humor me,” he muttered in between subtle presses of their mouths. “Or we’ll end up going for round two, right here, right now. And I’m not sure about you, but I’m really not in the mood to take another shower.” Giving him a playful wink, Poe pressed his hips down against Gavin’s once again before rolling away from him, his hands rubbing up and down his face with a groan.

No. Simply put, two letters, one meaning. No.

Hux was straddling Poe before the man had a change to drop his hands away from his face. The ginger ground down against the pilot's groin. In a much more militant tone he spoke, "Listen up, _Commander_ , I don't humor anyone for anything. What I do is because I want to do it. Is that understood?" He didn't wait for an answer before pressing his lips back against the pilot's, grinding his hips once more, and then moving back and away. 

He kept his perch over Dameron, looking down at him through the eyes of a General, picking him apart, taking in every detail, assessing, analyzing, processing, calculating. Then, just as the cold expression settled on his face, it completely vanished. Gavin chuckled down at the way his lover was looking at him. He leaned back close to the pilot, whispering in the man's ear, "I can play military too, Love. It's why I'm here. You," he lightly blew air against Poe's ear. "Are not your rank."

The redhead rolled away suddenly, feet landing on the ground beside the bed as he sauntered away, tossing a simple. "Mind if I grab a glass of water? No? Lovely."

“Force…” Again, Poe was left more than a little stunned by Gavin’s actions. His words failed him as he watched the taller, thinner male taking his leave. A soft whimper trailed after him as the pilot slowly swung his legs over the side of the bed. Hunched forward, rough palms once more rubbed at a tired face. Everything Poe was doing felt… Wrong. He wanted to impress his recruit so badly. He wanted to make himself more than just good looks and a strong personality. To leave a lasting impression on him. 

He didn’t want to be remembered for losing himself in his mind. Starting half-assed rank roleplays and cutting them off before they could go anywhere. Staring at the door as it slid shut behind his lover, the Commander sighed and stood up. Without even thinking about it, his feet began to make him follow after. 

In the small kitchenette, he stepped up behind Gavin and rested gentle hands on arousing hips. “You need to let me know what’s on your mind, love.” The whispered words were nearly muffled as lips began pressing along Hux’s shoulder blades. Poe stepped closer, lessening the gap between them, his half-aroused cock pressing into the swells of his lover’s ass. “No matter what, alright? At least until we figure each other out more. If I’m pissing you off, upsetting you, I don’t care. Just… Just tell me.”

A teasing wiggle had Hux pressing back against the Commander's erection. He hummed at the continuing trail of kisses and slowly pulled the glass away from his lips to place it on the counter with a small tap. Sighing, pale hands rested on the edge of the counter on either side of his water.

"The last time I gave you the unedited version of what's on my mind was in the pub, but, if you insist, I will," the ginger broke away from his lover to turn around and hop up onto the countertop. He pulled Poe forward to stand between the General's legs. Hux gently rubbed over the clothed chest in front of him and tilted his head, eyes following the movements of his hands before finally raising back to his lover's onyx gaze.

"I think...that you're so afraid of doing something wrong that you're guarding yourself," Hux stated. "I think that you're worried that you're going to do something to make me...relate to my past - trigger me in some way. I think that you're worried that you'll mess everything up before I have the chance to do that." He chuckled and raised his arms to rest on the pilot's shoulders. "I think you spend more time in your head than you do in reality, and I understand that." Gavin traced the side of Poe's face with one hand. "I think..." He trailed off, debating exactly how honest he should be in this moment. "I think that I like you a lot more than you know."

Lowering his gaze, Poe focused on the white tiled floor beneath his feet as Hux spoke about him. He hated being put on the spot like that, always feeling like he was being attacked. To be scrutinized made him uncomfortable. For his flaws to be called out like that, made him feel weaker, less of a person, almost. Then again, he asked for it. He wanted Gavin to be truthful with him. It’s not like he could be mad at him for it now. Even so, listening to Hux pinpoint everything that has been plaguing his mind since the evening began didn’t quite bring the sort of comfort he was hoping Hux speaking his mind would bring. Worrying the inside layer of his bottom lip, Poe huffed through his nose, his nostrils flaring, and tried damn hard to not roll his eyes. Thankfully, it ended quickly. And no unkind word was truly spoken.

“You…” Instantly flicking his gaze up, the Rebel pilot let slip a soft gasp. It was obvious they shared a mutual liking towards the other. Poe thought his growing attraction towards the other might have been a bit unjust, considering everything that’s happened recently, but to hear those words made his dark eyes widen.

A slight shimmer began to illuminate the charcoal orbs he possessed as he locked them firmly on jade. ‘Don’t live in your head, dammit. Speak.’ “I fuckin’ like you too!” Wow, smooth move there. Heat flashed across Poe’s cheeks from his sudden blurting out and he quickly looked away, mouthing the word ‘fuck’ in the process. “I-I mean, yeah, but, uh... Just as... What we…” A good expert at living in his own head, he could say whatever he wanted without worry of stumbling over his words so embarrassingly.

Hux's laughter at the blurted words was by no means cruel. He tried to hide his smile and sounds behind his hands, but only found that the more the pilot stuttered, the harder it became to stop himself from giggling. As the chuckles died down, the ginger reached out to turn his lover's head back toward him. "I'm glad you fucking like me and that you seem to like fucking me as well," he teased, hands moving to cup either side of Poe's face. "Both are good."

Gavin kissed the pilot, softly but deeply, and when he pulled back, he didn't move far, just enough for them both to breathe. "I could say more, of course - like how you're the only person I've been at all interested in since...well, for years. Or like how I will _never_ be attracted to Rico and eventually you'll just have to accept and believe that. Or even that my heart fluttered when you asked me to stay because I was hoping to sleep next to you tonight." Another kiss, another breath. Snow-white hands fell away to rest on strong shoulders and then slowly slipped forward to linger against Dameron's chest.

"You know that this is another two way road, right?" The General stated, a hint of authority slipping into his tone. "I'm not the only one who is supposedly lost in thought and hard to read. I know nothing about you, Poe, except what I've gathered in the last few days. And the stuff written in your file - but that's not the point." He pulled the Commander closer, long legs wrapping around the pilot's waist and keeping him in place. "Tell me what you're thinking."

Every kiss broken ended with a soft humming sound of longing. Poe’s lips would remained puckered for just a few beats longer than they should of before he’d right himself once more. Lifting his gaze, from Gavin’s mouth, taking in the sharp lines of his chin, cheeks, and nose, he bypassed the green depths he knew he would lose himself in, to instead, finish scanning his features. Only once his line of sight began to lower once more did he finally settle on the captivating pools of jade. 

“What am I thinking…” The pilot repeated as a statement, words mumbled. His hand lifted to curl a tanned finger and thumb around his chin as one eye slightly shut in thought. “Well, I’m thinking how much I, do, in fact, like to fuck you.” A chuckle rumbled low in Dameron’s gut, his shoulders shaking some from the noise. “But that much is a given.” He tipped his head to the side to allow their lips to mingle for a few more seconds. “I am thinking of how great of a kisser you are.” 

His teeth parted as he toyed with Gavin’s bottom lip, alternating between nibbles and suckles until he had it nicely plump and swollen once more. “About how I am afraid of backing you into a corner, or… Like you said, bringing up something from your past.” The hint of playfulness that edged his voice started to wear off, his words instead lowering in depth and volume. “I’m thinking about how I'm…” He sighed, shoulders slumping. “Terrified of fucking all of this up…”

Shaking his head, he looked back up into Gavin’s eyes, needing that warmth and comfort his gaze seemed to bring him. “I haven’t done this since… There’s been guys, some… But it’s never been more than a time or two, you know..? Nothing. Nothing like this. I don’t know the first thing about dating. I’m just. I’ll fuck this up. Just you wait and see.” This time as Poe chuckled, it was with a dark tone to it. A sardonic sort of sound. Almost as if he were mocking himself before Hux could do it.

"Trust me. You're not the one that's going to fuck this up," Hux stated once his lover fell into mirthless, soft laughter. He sighed, replaying what Poe had said in his mind. It was ironic to him - for the pilot to think that it would be something he did, not Gavin, that caused everything to fall apart between them. It was endearing that this man - who so often wore a lopsided grin of confidence, who battled his own demons with humor not anger, who walked with such confidence - was so worried about the General's welfare. A sad thought crossed his mind: that, had this never happened and they were locked in battle, the pilot would have never cared if he had lived or died.

He probably _wouldn't_ care after Hux walked away from here and back into the stars - after all, they would be enemies, again.

The ginger took a breath as he tried to word his next thoughts in a way that wouldn't shatter everything around them. "If we are both brutally honest, the easiest thing for us would be for me to walk out your door and never look back. Because we're going to step on each other's toes and bring up so many personal demons that we'll wish we never tried." A pause hung in the air - the sound of silence echoing the truth of the words as they hung, suspended above them, like a little pavilion.

How odd that two simple words when paired together could elicit such a feeling of dread; brutally honest. It was as if Poe’s entire mind reeled backwards after that, playing out the next string of syllables and pronunciations at less than half their original speed. An icy cold wave of dread washed over the Rebel pilot’s body as if he were preparing himself for some absolute mind shattering news. Those two simple words, when paired together in such a sense, usually paved way for some less than welcoming declarations. As if the speaker was giving a bit of a warning for what they were about to say next.

This time was no different.

Hux’s idea of ‘brutally honest’ truly did live up to the self-proclaimed title. That wasn’t exactly what Poe wanted to hear at the moment, not when he was filled with such doubts to begin with about the entire thing. The doubts, however, had nothing to do with Gavin. That, he could deal with as the time came. No, the doubts the Commander was feeling were self-doubts found dwelling deep within the tiniest confines of his mind. 

"But..." Hux took a breath, breaking the quiet. What he was about to say was basically signing over what little of himself he had left. It was condemning them both to selfish heartbreak because he was too greedy to let go now that the General finally found someone in the galaxy that understood him and knew about what he did to himself and still cared anyway. He finally found someone who wanted to know about him, not so that they could worm their way in, but because they wanted to stay. "But I'm willing to try. Even if it hurts, I'm willing to give us a shot."

“If the floor is still opened up for being brutally honest,” Poe finally spoke out after a few long pauses between the Gavin’s last word and his first one. His heart had skipped a beat at what the redhead had offered to him, that sense of trust and hope for what could possibly be a dysfunctional, damaging relationship. It had skipped a beat, and refused to fall back into its regular rhythm. 

Even if Poe knew of what inevitable heartbreak lay ahead on their journey, the surge of completeness he currently felt overpowered any form of negativity attempting to cloud over his judgement. He wanted this; selfish as it may be at the moment. Because here was a man willing to take on his personal demons to try and be something with him. 

That right there gave Dameron all the confidence in the galaxy he would ever need to make this work. 

“I’d deal with a lifetime of heartache just to live in this moment of true happiness you are giving me.” Sappy, yes. A signed contract with Diablo himself that Poe will more than likely end up living up to in the end? More than likely. Was he worried at all about it? Not at all. But not wanting the moment to fall too deep, too romanticized quite yet, the pilot scrunched up his nose in a playful way and shrugged. “Or maybe you’re really just a damn good kisser that I’m not willing to share for the time being.”

Hux hummed, "it's probably that - the kissing thing."

Leaning forward to close the slight distance between their lips, the ginger let his mind split - half in the moment and half out. In the kiss, he opened his mouth and lightly teased Poe's tongue with his own, letting them intertwine in a mocking of a physical lover's embrace. He pulled back to nip the pilot's lips and start the kiss anew. Each break in the press of lips brought forth a soft sound from Gavin - a small noise of approval mixed with a plea for more.

Out of the kiss, the General was mentally pacing. He was in deeper than he originally thought. He was setting himself up for an inevitable crash, putting the mission on the line to see what may or may not happen between him and Dameron. This was more than reckless, it was idiotic. 

With the Commander's mouth doing something wicked to his own, another side of the argument came to mind.

The undercover operation was not at risk, so long as he kept Poe separate and found a new way to navigate his way to the information he sought. He didn't have to talk about anything related to the First Order, because his lover had no reason to believe it was a relevant fixture in Hux's life. There were no connections made between the fake-recruit and the unknown General. Everything he did, every word he spoke, every paper he signed while in the Order have all been classified and encrypted to the point that a droid couldn't hack into them.

The Resistance didn't even know he existed as a General. They would very soon regret that.

The ginger pulled back, mind made up for the time being. "Then...let's try this. We can make it work."

Gavin could have asked Poe to rearrange the stars, and with how turned on and into the redhead he was currently feeling, he would have attempted. So he nodded, his breath trembling and ghosting over plump lips. “We’ll make it work,” the Commander whispered, his lust hazed over eyes focusing on his lover’s mouth. “Force, we’ll make it work somehow…”

Strong hands slid their way heavily up and down the recruit’s thighs. They’d pause briefly, massaging the warm flesh through the pajama pants, then continued on their pathless journey. A groan tickled his throat as his head tipped towards the side, lips once more finding the other pair they so desperately longed for. Once the kiss deepened and surged with heat, Poe’s hands made their way to the shirt his lover currently had on.

Only breaking their mouths apart long enough to remove the fabric, Poe tossed it aimlessly behind him. His palms attached to the warm chest, gripping and groping every exposed bit of him that they could. It was almost as if Poe was exploring this male’s body for the first time all over again. With the intensity they had during their the first time, the Commander felt as though his mind was too riddled with unrelenting desire. Now, he planned to take full advantage of the moment and really appreciate Gavin’s body like he should have done in the first place.

Long legs unwrapped themselves from around the Commander's hips, giving the man more room to move around while simultaneously allowing Hux the opportunity to gently push him backward and pull off the shorter man's top and add it to the one already on the ground. Pale fingers scratched down a muscular chest, leaving superficial lines in their wake before they retraced the same path with soothing touches. Hux liked this - liked being able to take in each quiver and twitch his fingers caused. He liked finding spots that he could file away for later use. He liked that, while the situation was heated, nothing was rushed. He was free to caress and grope and tease.

"Mo Dhia , tha thu fhuasgladh orm," the ginger whispered between kisses, green eyes filled with desire and adoration and sparks of mischievousness that never really flickered out of the General's gaze.

With his top now removed, Poe stood there, pressed halfway against the sitting male’s body in just his underwear that did absolutely nothing to contain his very obvious arousal at this point. “So good…” He muttered, words not making sense once they passed through his busy lips, but circulated like a chant within his mind. After a few more roughed pecks to Gavin’s mouth, Poe moved his lips along his jawline. When he reached the redhead’s pale ear, he flicked his tongue out to drag up along the outer shell. His teeth nibbled on the earlobe, suckling it into his mouth, before he pressed his tongue into the hollow behind the lobe. “Volverme loco, Gavin.”

Explorative hands trailed up the lithe body yet again until the heels of his palms pressed against both nipples. He ground them down, twisting them until he felt the sensitive nubs hardening beneath his touch. While his mouth continued its trail south, now nipping and working a new mark on his lover’s neck, his hands began to grope and massage the toned pecs. While Gavin did not have an overly muscular build, the shape and definition was still there in just the right amounts.

“Tu eres mi luz en la oscuridad…” The hungry mouth continued its trek, now nibbling on Hux’s collarbone. His tongue swiped out, tracing the shape of it before working another mark into pale flesh. One hand became too anxious and settled in his lover’s lap, lightly gripping and massaging the hardening cock beneath his touch. Wrapping his fingers around the clothed prick, he started to tug at the length the best he could with it still confined in the pajama bottoms. His own arousal only grew as his mouth moved to the opposite side of the chest, marking his other collarbone in a nearly identical way.

The ginger's legs re-wrapped around the shorter man's hips and, with that added leverage, he ground against the pilot's hand. He gasped and continued the motion as his fingers jerked back to life. They danced over Dameron's chest, stopping to rub and tweak the man's nipples until the nubs hardened.

Fuck, how did this happen? How was he sitting in a Resistance Commander's kitchen rutting against his hand in desperation. Hux moved Dameron's hand away and scooted closer to the edge of the counter. "Fuck, please." He whimpered, gesturing slightly as he urged the man to grind their hips against one another.

Even though the plea held no words of demand to it, Poe still understood fully what it was that Gavin was nearly begging him for; he needed more. He wanted Poe to give him more friction, more attention. And the Commander was going to happily oblige, though perhaps not in the same way Hux may be thinking. With his fingers hooked into the recruit’s pants, tugging on the elastic waistband, he tugged the front of the fabric down enough for his lover’s cock to spring free. Licking his lips in anticipation, Poe’s gaze lifted briefly to lock on the jade eyes hazing over with lust. At the same time, he gripped both of Gavin’s thighs with his palms and gave a caressing squeeze.

“You want me, baby?” He husked, bending in to allow his tongue to swipe over the sensitive tip. His lips parted enough to wrap around the head, and he gave a soft suckle. “Mmm.. You’re so hard for me…” Leaning down further, he brought just a tiny bit more of his lover’s cock into his mouth, just keeping it at teasing touches for now. His hands remained planted firmly on his thighs, giving him no relief from a quickened grip. “You tasted so fuckin’ good earlier,” his voice growled seconds before he began to swirl his tongue around the head of his cock, slicking it with his spit in the process.

Then he bent in even further, his lips covering over half of his prick now, and gave a stronger suck. Deciding he’s teased long enough, for now at least, he began to bob his head up and down, each time lowering himself more and more. The pilot breathed steadily through his nose, his eyes fluttering shut for a few seconds, then darkened eyes looked up, watching the redhead drowning with the pleasure he was so willingly giving him. Fingernails dug into paled thighs, leaving behind crescent moon shaped welts, though the strength wasn’t hard enough to break skin or draw blood.

Hux absolutely whined as Poe finally started to bob his head. The hands, though the grip was not explicitly restraining, kept him from doing much more than wiggling where he was and hope that his curly haired lover would have mercy on him – well, at least, eventually. “Poe, ah! Fuck, your mouth is so hot,” he groaned, one hand lacing into dark hair and gently resting on the pilot’s head. He canted his hips as much as he could and arched toward Dameron. “Tha thu a 'dol a' dràibheadh mi às a ciall.” 

The ginger gasped at each movement the Commander’s mouth made – even the warm breath on his sensitive skin made him ache for more. He was getting utterly addicted to his lover, and after agreeing to open himself up to the possibility of something forming between them, he couldn’t find any reason why he should be concerned. Not at this moment. Not when he could feel the gentle drag of a wet tongue and hints of teasing teeth on his erection. “Poe, please…love…”

It was too tempting to just stop his actions, pull his lover off the counter, turn him around and bend him over to take him deeply. But he wanted this just as much; he wanted to pleasure his lover to the point of orgasm. Wanted to taste the burst of essence, push him over the edge with ecstasy. So he continued what he was doing without faltering. His tongue would flatten over the thick erection moving in and out of his mouth with each bob of his head. But every so often, he would pull back to lap at the overly sensitive tip, beginning to taste that musky hint of pre-cum.

With a deep groan, he stood just a bit straighter to give his jaw a quick break, but instantly wrapped one hand around the base. Moving it all the way up, then back down over and over, Poe kept a decently strong grip, jerking Hux as he glared deep into the inviting green eyes. After a quick lick to his lips, his head lowered once again and he brought the tip into his mouth. While his tongue swirled around the head without hesitation, his lips suctioned to him, his mouth making little suckling noises. All the while, his fist continued to pump him over and over with a constant, steady rhythm to his wrist.

Even with his lower back beginning to ache slightly from the taxing position, Poe smirked up at his lover. Those sounds he was making were utterly arousing, the looks of pure pleasure washing across his face intoxicating. It warmed the Rebel Commander to know that _he_ was the reason his recruit was reduced to such wanton expressions. It heated him thoroughly to know he would be bringing him release twice that night. And with the heated chemistry there was developing between them, he was sure there would be a third round in their near future.

“Fuck! Poe! Tha mi a '...cho math. Chan urrainn dhomh. Dùin,” Hux groaned in his own language. The grip the pilot had on his erection – gloriously tight but still careful – was pushing him toward the edge of pleasure. He cried out again as he bit his bottom lip, the sting of pain helping him step back from the building orgasm that was very quickly building inside of him. He look that the pilot was giving him – so full of heat and adoration and lust and unbridled desire – caused his hips to rock forward as much as they could.

The hand he had in the man’s dark hair gripped tighter, tugging at the curls in a way that both pulled him closer to Gavin and pushed him back at the same time as the man continued to suckle the head of his cock. “Love…I…”

Poe was able to tell how close his lover was to orgasm, not by the higher pitched tone to his nearly whiny voice, or the more frequent pleas of desperation falling from sensual lips, but more so from the more persistent drops rolling free from the slit with each pump, each squeeze, each and every lick. Breathing heavily through his nose, the pilot could feel a burn developing in both his arm and neck, but he didn’t let up. He wanted Hux to let go, to just enjoy the pleasure and succumb to the burning flame ready to engulf him.

The Rebel remained absolutely silent, not responding to the cries he was eliciting from his lover. His response was a quickened pace from his wrist, a tighter grip from his palm. His tongue flattened out over the tip before he let go of the cock all together. He knew Gavin was close; that much was highly obvious. So his actions continued without fail. With both palms now gripping the pale thighs yet again, his head began bobbing up and down as fast as he could make it go.

He didn’t only allow his mouth to go halfway down Hux’s length, however. His eyes squeezed shut tight, he pushed himself even further until he gagged. It took a second for him to re-train his gag reflex to stall, but when he was able to, he deep-throated the other male and held his position. The pilot had to focus, feeling his eyes burning with unshed tears, but when he pulled back, it was with a proud smirk. His fingers tightened around Gavin’s prick for a final time and started tugging his length with no reserve, his tongue now flattened out and waiting for the load to cover it.

Hux could feel the way his blush worked itself down his neck, dripping light pink over his skin. He bit his lip again to stifle his sounds, but gave up as he gazed down at the Commander - hand still stroking the ginger and mouth open in preparation. Gavin shook his head and bucked his hips upward. It wasn't fair how well Dameron could play his body. It wasn't fair that the pilot knew all the right steps to the dance Hux had always swayed to all by himself.

As Gavin lost that thought to pleasure it took only a few more long strokes for his back to arch and his grip to tighten even further on the black strands between his fingers. His cry of pleasure was much closer to a wail as he climaxed, cum coating Poe's mouth.

The sudden burst of warmth that coated his tongue caused the Rebel pilot to startle, even though he was fully expecting it. His fist continued to pump the overly sensitive cock, coaxing more to spurt out. He could feel it landing on his cheek, chin, lips, and near his eye, the substance sticking to his skin. “Nnnngh,” the Commander groaned, only releasing his grip when the prick offered no more seed. Pulling back, he stood straight and swallowed what all landed on his tongue with a smirk. He then proceeded to lick his lips in a sensual manner, cleaning it off any remaining spunk, while his fingers lifted to swipe up what all landed elsewhere. Poe hummed softly in contentment, keeping his gaze locked firmly on the spent, panting, heaving body before him. 

Only once he felt himself decently cleaned did Poe reach out and tuck Gavin back into his pants. His palms then gripped both cheeks and he bent in, leaving behind slow, lazy pecks and soft nuzzles with his nose to his lover’s flushed cheeks. “So good, baby.” He groaned, his own body still surging with its own arousal. But he was too content at the moment with pampering the redhead with nuzzles and adoring kisses from his cheek, to his lips, to his forehead, hairline, and side of the face. “Fuck, baby. You drive me wild.”

Panting and just barely remembering to return the chaste kisses against his lips, Hux slowly brought himself back down from the blissful high that the pilot induced him with. He was being showered with affection and that was the oddest sensation in the galaxy. It was nice and sweet and made his beating heart flutter, but it was still odd.

He could get used to it. Wanted to.

When he was back in his own head and his breathing had evened out once more, Gavin chuckled and lightly pushed on the pilot's chest as the pampering nuzzles and kisses continued. He turned his head with a smile, completely content to let Poe continue, but also aware of the aroused state of the man between his legs. "I think you're rather feral without my help, but I'll take the compliment," the redhead teased before his tone took on a sensual edge. "What do you want, love? How do you want me? Anything you want, it's yours."

Oh, that offer was far too tempting to pass up. If Hux truly meant it, he could choose any way to have him, there was one specific thing truly dominant in his mind. The thought brought forth a wide, natural smirk, and it had his heart thudding angrily against the inside of his ribcage. “Anything I want?” The pilot repeated with a teasing husk to his voice as well. “Any way I want you?” 

Gripping Gavin’s waist, Poe hoisted him up with a grunt. “For such a thin body, you weigh a ton, love.” He teased, his voice a bit gruff from the exertion; after everything that had transpired throughout the day and into the night, the pilot was feeling rather exhausted. Regardless, he kept it so Hux’s legs remained locked around him, while the Commander’s arms held him snugly in place. As he walked, he peppered the other’s lips with soft kisses, finding he was unable to keep the silly grin from overtaking his features. It just felt so natural, so warm and comfortable to be with Hux in such a way. And though he knew he had never met the redhead before in his life, it felt like his soul had been searching for him for ages now. 

Poe reached his bedroom once more and slowly crawled into the bed. His grip remained around his lover until he had them both lying on their sides, facing one another. He made no attempt to start anything, other than anxious lips seeking the others for a slow, passionate kiss. What Poe truly wanted at that moment wasn’t anything sexual, no matter what his body exhibited. He just wanted that warm body held in his embrace, with strong arms secured around him.

A hand reached up, ghosting over the pilot's chest in a way that was not so much sensual as it was soothing and reminding. Hux pulled back from the kiss with a smile. "I'm a little over six feet tall, Love, of course there's something to me." He smirked. "I like that you can carry me around, though. So strong."

Gavin started the next kiss with a few teasing pecks before deepening it slowly. He hummed, his hand stopping over the pilot's heart and simply feeling the rhythm it produced and contrasting it to the pulse in his fingertips. Leaning away from the Commander, the General gazed down at his hand for a long moment. He would never classify himself as sentimental. He was too hardened by his life to ever think of himself as such, but every once in a while, he liked to pause and pretend that the galaxy was not at war and that everything would work out.

"You want me to speak my mind?" His voice was soft, dreamy, as he raised his eyes back to Poe's. "I think you're completely ruining me in the most beautiful way."

The tone Hux’s words held were oddly comforting. The pilot’s eyes were half-lidded once more, though not out of lust, or overwhelming arousal. But from happy, comforted contentment. He watched Hux’s eyes with his own lazy stare, his lips twitched up into a lopsided smile. “And just what exactly do you mean by that?” The Commander chuckled faintly, leaning in to brush the tips of their noses together. 

To go back to how things were in the beginning seemed damn near impossible. Perhaps deep down, Poe felt that connection towards the other male. Anytime he even flirted with the idea of getting close to somebody, he hastily took a step back and took a different route, mentally and physically. Now that he was thinking about it, it seemed as though that was what was happening from the start.

Something compelled him to single out the redhead. At the time, he wasn’t sure. He had never met the man before, had never even laid eyes on him until that very moment. But something within him drew him towards the recruit. He stopped right in front of him, singled him out. Out of the entire squadron of potential pilots. Could simply be fate, if nothing else. But it had the dark haired male thinking.

Shaking his head, Hux brushed off the question. He wasn't entirely certain that he could answer it truthfully and that struck something so deep inside of him that his heart missed a beat and then clenched painfully. Hux wanted to tell the pilot everything he could, but doing so would not just be idiotic and treasonous, it would be unthinkable.

He raised a hand instead to gently rest on Poe's cheek. How this all happened, he wasn't quite sure. It felt like something had taken a needle and thread and sewed their hearts together so that when they were together, their hearts beat normally and fully, but the farther they were from one another, the tighter the thread wrapped. If he wasn't a man of logic and strategy, Gavin would be willing to chalk it up to the Force - as if the magical energy was able to bond people together like a damn matchmaker.

Gavin swallowed softly. "You just _do_. You make me...forget everything else. Make me not worry. You make me second guess myself in a way that has never happened before." His hand trailed downward to settle on the side of the Commander's neck. "You just...ruin me...and everything I've ever build up."

The temptation to lay there and wholly agree with everything the ginger was saying was great, but this was his moment. His chance to speak freely and admit to whatever it was that he wanted to, so Poe didn’t want to take that away from him. Instead, his hand reached up to cup the no longer flushed cheek, his thumb brushing over Hux’s cheek bone. And he smiled, warmly. Friendly. A smile of understanding, then a nod of agreement. 

“Do you mean it in a way, like…” He had to think hard for a moment, really focus on how he wanted the phrase to be worded, not wanting to come across in the wrong way. “Imagine, if you will, say… A brick wall. Built up all around you, like a fort. A safe haven for your thoughts and fears. Then, imagine a big ole hammer pounding away at that wall until it breaks, exposing you without warning.” Laughing at his explanation, Poe shrugged and leaned in, his lips ever so softly rubbing against Gavin’s. “Because that’s what you did to me. Not that I’m complaining,” his whispered words were spoken against his lover’s mouth before allowing him several soft pecks. “Worth every broken brick you destroyed so far.”

To hear the pilot tell Gavin about breaking down metaphorical walls made the ginger genuinely consider an answer. He gazed at Poe for a long moment before he glanced away to focus on some random place on the far wall. He _did_ feel exposed. Felt everything that the Commander described as though the words had been kissed off of his lips and given back to him in the rumble of Dameron's voice.

Yet, it was slightly different, too.

"I feel like I've been walking on glass and seeing the cracks appear all around me," he murmured between them. "And then I looked down and saw you beneath me, wondering what the Force I was doing on top of your glass ceiling," Hux chuckled. "It's like...with you I stopped being afraid of the cracks because I knew you'd catch me when I fell."

When he stopped, his jade finally focused back on onyx - gemstone eyes clashing with one another all over again...but this time in a very different way. "This all happened very unexpectedly. But...even if The shattered glass scratched us, I wouldn't have done it any other way." If he could turn back the clock a number of years, maybe he would have changed a few things, but...well, that's an even more dangerous thought than he was willing to think about. And, besides, it was too early to be pining.

...And Hux never pined anyway.


	19. Three to One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep an eye on us on Twitter at @DammitDameron and @ResistanceHux
> 
> You might even see a few more familiar names and faces.
> 
> xoxo

So Hux’s metaphorical response blew Dameron’s out of the water, tenfold. It had the pilot letting slip a soft chuckle before dark eyes rolled in a playful manner. “My classic, over told brick wall metaphor wasn’t good enough for you?” His nose scrunched up as he gave him a funny little expression to show he was teasing. “Had to go and one up me on that one too?” All in good fun. Before, such a statement would have been riddled with anger and animosity. But now, it was accompanied with a faint kiss and a breathy laugh. 

“Oh, Gavin… What am I going to do with you,” the pilot cried out with great exasperation, a ‘woe-is-me’ tone to his jesting words. “Well, honestly… I’m glad you hammered through brick and broke through glass to get to me. I’m sure this conversation would be a whole lot more awkward at the moment if I was only having it with myself.”

Another kiss, another nuzzle of their noses, then Poe rolled over onto his back. His arms stretched high above his head, he groaned loudly, arching his body as much as he could without jostling his lover terribly. After a quick, equally as loud yawn, he settled more into the mattress, a silly smile still spread over his lips. To have another’s company for the night would certainly be a highly welcomed feeling; already, he was imagining how much better he’d be able to sleep.

Jade eyes watched the man stretch and settle himself more comfortably before the General glanced over a pale shoulder at the other side of the bed. It looked cold and empty and available, but not at all appealing. With that in mind, Gavin pushed his tired body up onto his hands and knees so he could move around. He laid on his side and pressed himself close to the darker man's side, resting his head on the Commander's shoulder. A freckled arm - Force, he hated his freckles - wrapped around the muscular chest. One long leg bent so it could partially cover one of Dameron's.

The General didn't want to openly admit it to himself, but he felt safe, warm, and dearly cherished where he lay. Exhaustion was slowly pulling him into unconsciousness. "If you were having this conversation with yourself, you should really rethink your life because your imaginary, ginger-self is so much better at giving speeches and talking to people than you." He offered a small smile to ease the sting his tease might have carried. He thought back to earlier and added sleepily. "Maybe Organa was right...could make a good team...we'd fight constantly..." His mind was slowing down. "Bu' we could do it...well, pro'ably not...silly thought. Ne'ermin'."

The slightly shorter of the two had waited until the other made themselves nicely comfortably before even considering his own comfort. Once there was a heavy warmth covering his shoulder and one of his legs, a gentle smile played across plump lips. Poe’s own exhaustion had started to fog over his mind, so Hux’s mumbled, nearly incoherent thoughts were even more jumbled once they began to process in the pilot’s head. “Goodnight, Love,” he finally answered with a deep, short-lived chuckle. 

Heavy lids covered tired eyes as a calloused hand began to lightly rub up and down his lover’s arm. Sleep did not find the Commander instantly. His mind began to switch off, leaving him half-asleep, half-awake, replaying over the day’s events like a broken record. To think, he had recently just returned from a mission he elected himself to do just to get away from the man now currently curled up wearing only his pajama bottoms in his bed. After bringing the redhead to orgasm twice. 

It nearly seemed like the perfect hologram program developed for entertainment. ‘Keeping Up With The Dysfunctionals’ seemed a fitting title. But something Hux had mumbled really wiggled its way into Poe’s brain and buried itself there; Leia had predicted this, had she not? In a round-about, not so descriptive way? Damn, her. 

Once the darkness truly ebbed in, the Rebel fighter let out a low, half-sounding hum of exhaustion. The hand trailing up and down, over and over on Gavin’s arm ceased, his palm resting over the back of Hux’s head. His body fully relaxed, his muscles losing any tension they may have carried, and before too long, Poe turned his body halfway, pulling his lover even closer to him. Not much longer after that, soft snores drifted from parted lips.

***

Hux woke up at the crack of dawn, his internal clock never giving him a break. He had rolled around in his sleep and his groggy mind slowly started to catch up to his setting. There was a warm chest pressed against his back and an arm thrown over his waist. Warms gusts of air tickled the back of his neck in a steady flow of in and out.

He slowly stretched out and hissed at the soreness that settled in his body overnight. He glanced behind him at the sleeping pilot. Poe looked so peaceful - all the lines of worry and sorrow smoothed out in his sleep, leaving in its wake an image of handsome serenity. The ginger shifted his weight and the hold on him tightened as the Commander curled closer to him - nuzzling against the base of Hux's neck and mumbling something in his slumber.

The General kicked his feet slightly before settling again, deeming to let Poe sleep, if only a little longer. After all, he can't exactly be late to lessons if his mentor was still lost in dreams behind him.

He should probably stress that relationship more than the one he impulsively started last night. He could work around this, of course. He was one hell of a strategist, but...this all would have been much easier if he had found a way to hate the pilot instead of falling for him.

And in the quiet of the morning with his head still hazy from sleep, he was willing to admit that to himself. Within the span of a week - a fucking week, the General of the First Order became infatuated with a Rebel pilot. He sighed. Yet another thing to add to the 'Don't Tell Snoke' list. Perfect.

When the movements first began, the Rebel Commander had started to wake up, having not been used to sharing his bed with anyone else. But the warmth soon settled once more and Poe let out a low, mumbled humming sound, snuggling back into his lover’s body without a care in the world. One thing he would have to force himself to get used to would be Gavin rising early in the morning. When absolutely needed to, he would as well. But if it were up to him, he’d sleep late into the day and not think twice about it. 

But, dammit, he was awake now; the little bit of jostling that occurred was enough to pull him from him exhaustion induced slumber. He didn’t react instantly, but tried to, instead, drift back off to sleep. That didn’t seem to be the case. The fog in his mind began to clear and he was nearly instantly reminded of the companion he not only had in his bed, but wrapped up tightly within the embracing hold of his arms and pulled snugly against his chest.

“Mmngh,” he groaned, his futile attempt at speaking. Leaning forward, a nose sleepily pressed into unruly red locks and gave a very, very slow, lazy attempt of a nuzzle. “You okay..? S-Somethin’ th’matter?” 

Tired lips puckered together and pressed a kiss so faint he wasn’t even entirely sure if any contact was made to the back of Hux’s head, though that subtle smacking sound was there anyways. “S’too early.” Another low grunt of a hum and Poe readjusted his hold to allow his arm to gain more feeling to it, but without actually undoing his embrace.

Green eyes rolled at the prospect of it being 'too early'. This was around the time everyone who had day shifts on the Finalizer started waking. There was never a way to exactly see how early it was - only burning red numbers on identical clocks indicated the time, nothing else changed. There wasn't a sunrise in a life of unending starlight.

Hux glanced down at the arm around him. He could break the hold if he chose to, and that soothed the automatic response of needing to get away. That impulse had much less to do with his own past experiences and more with exactly how long he had been waging war. Getting close to anyone, ally or not, was more times than not a problem. War changed people in ways that were volatile and unpredictable. Getting close meant having to risk getting shot.

Still, he was comfortable, here...for some reason. Gavin leaned back against the heat behind him and replied softly, "nothing's wrong, Love. Just woke up early. If you want to sleep, I'll still be here when you wake."

“S’good idea. S’nice, sleep. S’very nice, y’know..?” In his mind, the words made sense to the pilot. Everything had been clouding over once again with that sleepy haze as a lazy, goofy smile tugged his lips up into a smile. “S’not nice, waking t’early…” Licking his dry lips, Poe believed to be kissing the back of Gavin’s head, though his lips basically just pressed against thin air. “G’night, baby.” A yawn overtook the Commander’s body as the arm slung casually over his lover’s body hung there like a dead weight, being of absolute no use other than just resting there.

As much as he would prefer to slip back into the deep, welcoming sleep he had been woken from, Poe found he simply couldn’t. Even being barely awake, his mind switched back into duty, forcing him to mull over every little detail about the up and coming day. “Fuck me…” Those words, though groaned with distaste, came out rather clearly. With the start of a sigh, Poe yawned once more, giving his lover’s body a gentle squeeze. “Got too much t’do today to sleep. Dammit.”

This time, his lips actually made a connection with the fiery red hair, giving Gavin’s head a couple, loving pecks. “You sleep well, Love?” Dark eyes refused to open, even if that foggy haze was beginning to dissipate in his mind, replaced instead with lesson plans, date ideas, the warm body in his arms, and wondering what the hell he was currently doing with his recruit nearly nude in his bed. No, there was certainly too much bouncing around in the shorter male’s mind to even contemplate sleep anymore.

Softly smiling at the kisses and the pilot's obvious dislike of the morning, Hux finally allowed himself to stretch completely, his body tensing in a way that threw off the remaining blanket of sleep that settled in his mind. He shifted around so that he was facing his lover as they both rested on their sides. Lines of thought were starting to break the peace that befell Poe's face when he was asleep, and that made Hux sigh.

"I slept very well. Better than I have for a while," the ginger answered, leaning close to place a chaste kiss on the corner of Dameron's lips. "Good morning."

Poe, too, had slept better than he had in a very long time. It warmed him to hear that it was the same with his lover. It meant Gavin felt as comfortable and at ease in his presence as he had with the ginger's. The faint hint of the kiss to the corner of his mouth went reciprocated half a second too late, darker lips once more puckering against the air with no connection. With Hux now facing him, pressed bare chest to bare chest, Poe ran his hand up and down the long expanse of back, tangling their legs together like a human knot.

Gavin was wide awake. This was routine - wake up, shower, dress, get to work. There was never time to lay around in bed or cuddle up beside someone (and, really, who would he even do that with? Phasma? She'd kill him. Kylo Ren? Hux would kill him). But, here, there was no inherent need to rush. Hours stood between the lovers and the time of recruitment training. They could wallow away the early morning, if they wanted to, like this.

Or...

"Would you like breakfast? I'm a pretty decent chef - especially because cafeteria food is basically tasteless poison," the ginger offered - and, yes, maybe there was a bit of snobbishness in the statement, but that didn't make it any less true.

“Breakfast for me usually means coffee and a cigarette or two. Think you can top that, Chef Hux?”

A chuckle rumbled in the pilot’s chest, his voice still gruff from the weight of sleep lingering over his body. Leaning in, he properly kissed the redhead’s lips, full on, humming as their mouths remained pressed together until he felt ready to pull back. If Poe had his way, he would pause this moment of time to remain in it for as long as his heart desired. With the sleepy glaze to the redhead’s eyes, the small, faint creases in his face from the pillow, his hair cutely messed up and out of place. The sight of Hux at the moment honestly set flight to the pilot’s heart, giving him fluttering sensations in his stomach as well.

The way that the ginger's nose wrinkled at the dark haired man's description of breakfast vanished as his lover stared at him, Hux took the opportunity to return the favor. Curly hair messier than normal and not at all hiding the natural waves it offered, dark eyes hazy with sleep, body still relaxed...it all made Gavin want to take a picture of this moment and keep it forever. He wanted to remember Poe like this as long as he could.

Finally, he answered the tease. "I think I can work a bit of magic. After all, I'm very good with my hands and mouth." 

Hux didn't wait for a response or even to see the Commander's reaction before he was pulling away and slipping out from other the covers. Instead of standing and walking around the bed, however, he straddled Dameron for as long as it took to press another kiss to the man's mouth, teasingly deepening it before shifting away and sauntering toward the kitchen.

His mind still trying to finish fully waking up, Poe was too busy processing the sexual innuendo his lover so casually threw his way to react much to the sudden deep kiss he was gifted. “Wh-What, wait!” Grinning wide, the pilot watched the alluring form of Hux’s body moving with that teasing sway to his hips that was starting to really drive Dameron wild. “Oh, Force, yeah,” he muttered quite proudly to himself, after fist pumping in the air once he was certain he was alone.

The grin on his lips refused to quit spreading as he sat there in silence and pondered on absolutely everything that had transpired between him and his recruit. He should feel guilty, or convince himself that this building relationship is wrong, but with as elated as he was currently feeling about damn near everything at the moment, he refused to give himself any doubts. No, this was very much wanted. Turned out, _Gavin_ was very much wanted. It felt deeper than just a simple, casual fling.

“Poe Dameron, you are one _lucky_ dog.” Chuckling, the pilot reached over to his nightstand and snatched up his pack of cigarettes. He strained his neck to ensure that the door was closed and Hux wasn’t lingering off in the corner; it was obvious the redhead seemed against the idea of him smoking. Personally, he felt it was the least of his troubles, with all the other junk he’s forced into his system over the years. So using the brief moment of solitude to his advantage, he flicked the lighter several times, butt end of the cigarette dangling between his lips, and caught the flame to the end, inhaling with a deep, pleasing groan.

The ginger chuckled at whatever had the other man groaning as he moved around the small kitchen. Perhaps this was all very domestic, but if it kept him from the plastic that was served in the eating areas, well, then it was a bonus to having a warm companion who he trusted and genuinely started to--

Hux turned on the stove and pulled out a few eggs from the completely unorganized refrigerator. Honestly, did _everything_ have to be out of its place? The shake of his head should not have been accompanied by a wide smile, but, damn...as much as this was against everything he stood for...he was happy.

"How is this even possible?" Gavin murmured to himself. 

He focused again as he found some sliced meat and cheese and dug through the spices in the cabinets. He made quick work of cutting up the ingredients and making them both simple omelets with a few spices mixed in to make it a step above common food.

He arranged the breakfast on two plates and gave up finding silverware anywhere other than the sink. The General padded back to the bedroom, plates in hand. The smell of smoke tickled his nose and made his mouth twitch. Alright, Dameron. You did this to yourself.

Hux was in the room and by the bed before Poe could even try to hide the cigarette. He set one plate down and plucked the smoke-stick out of the pilot's fingers and brought it to his own mouth, making a show of how his lips curled around it before he bent down for a kiss, lightly blowing smoke into Dameron's mouth before putting the cigarette out, moving the plate he had set aside, and taking up residence in the Commander's lap. "Breakfast is ready."

The way Poe startled as the door suddenly slid open and the taller male stepped forward was very similar to how a child reacts when getting caught doing something bad. Instead of feeling annoyed by Hux’s distaste of his fix, he found it actually endearing. There definitely were little things about each man that would certainly annoy and irritate the other, but it would be things worth fussing about at the appropriate times. Right now, he had a hot plate of home cooked food that smelt amazing waiting to be devoured, and a gorgeous male sitting upon his blanketed lap waiting for equal treatment.

“Looks delicious,” the Rebel Commander husked with a playful smirk, his eyes never once straying off of Gavin’s face. Never once even looking at the food that was prepared for him. No, he had his eyes on another treat. One he most certainly wanted to indulge in at least once before the two had to spit for the day to join with the rest of the squadron. “Oh, right. The food.”

His smirk remaining, Poe reached for the plate and glanced down at it. His stomach did rumble at the sight, making the dark haired male wonder exactly how long it’s been since he had someone prepare him food; other than the food preps at the cafeteria. And the slop they served surely couldn’t be classified in the same category as what was presented to him currently.

“You do realize how difficult it is for me to get a pack of smokes, yeah? No need to go wasting a perfectly good stick like that.” He wasn’t angry, and nothing in his voice would indicate that he was. But he wasn’t entirely thrilled to have lost nearly half of a good cigarette. “I mean, unless you’d rather Rhys continue to take over my lessons, then I’ll have no problem going off on different missions, just to get me the good kind,” he teased before taking a bite, instantly humming at the delicious taste of the warm food. “Damn..”

Hux leaned down to taste the food on Dameron's lips with a smile. Cooking was relaxing and beautifully complex. One pinch of this could completely change how that mixes with that, and so on. It was a way for the General to find balance in a galaxy that had none.

"If you want to leave and get the good kind, by all means, follow your heart, Commander, but know that at least one recruit will never go to class in your absence," he teased back, taking a bite of his own food and deciding that it was a success for an improvised meal. "Or," Gavin's voice became sultry. "You could stay here and I'll make it up to you later."

Jade eyes glanced at the box of cigarettes at the bedside table silently as the redhead continued to eat his breakfast. Addiction, escape, addiction, escape. A long inhale, a smokey and calm exhale. Or, well, pseudo-calm. A few drags of tobacco and people liked to think that the world was better than it was a few minutes before and that's just ridiculous thinking. He wouldn't stop the pilot - which was probably unhealthy and slightly unethical, but, really, who is he to argue that point of view - from his habits. That wouldn't make Gavin any less bitter, either.

He turned his focus back to his lover with a warm look and a smile. "One day, I'll make you an actual meal - plan it all out and get everything I need." He put his plate purposefully over the small box on the tabletop beside the bed. "Romance the fuck out of you, like you deserve." His green eyes darkened slightly as he gazed at the pilot, desire creeping into the corners of his stare. "One day."

Out of everything Hux had said, from him only slightly joking about not attending lessons in the Commander’s absence, to the offer of such an exquisite sounding meal, the one thing that had stuck out the most to Poe was, ‘romance you deserve’. That surged warmth deep within the pilot that he was not expecting. He was certain that heat painted redness over tanned cheeks, but he tried not to dwell on the fact for too long. What sort of romance did he deserve? Certainly nothing extravagant, he felt. But for someone to even contemplate going through all that effort for him may have indicated something else.

“Mmm,” Poe took a moment to stuff the last bite into his mouth in a far from attractive way. “Tell y’what,” he grumbled through the mouthful of food, leaning over to stack his plate precariously on top of Gavin’s, not caring that they were perched there on the much smaller box of cigarettes with a great chance of falling over. “Lemme get thru’my date for you, first.” He licked his lips and swallowed, his smirk returning. “Then you can go and spoil me _all_ you want. Sound good?”

Wrapping his arms around his lover’s body, hands flattened firmly on his back, Poe lunged forward, pinning him against the bed. “Now look. You’ve got me all wide awake and nicely fed, long before I ever contemplated waking up. So… Tell me. How do you plan on entertaining me now?” His lips mimicked the smirk tugging at Hux’s lips, his eyes darkening in a similar way with desire.

The ginger made a noise of surprise when he suddenly found himself on his back and looking up at the pilot, whose expression was nothing if not lustful. "Entertain you? Well, I was thinking about waxing poetic about your eyes while you actually figured out what you're doing for today's lesson because I know that you have nothing planned in that head of yours." The teasing tone was contrasted with the way that Gavin arched up against the pilot. "But...I think there are much better ways to use the morning, don't you?"

Lithe arms wrapped around muscular shoulders as the General pulled the Commander down into a kiss. Sass and snark back in play, the redhead brought his teasing to the kiss, pulling back each time that Poe tried to deepen it. He moved as far away as he could in their position, Cheshire smile in place as he rolled his body back down into the mattress.

"Oh, sorry, did you want something more than that?" Hux gripped the pilot's shoulders. "Ask and you shall receive."

To say Poe whimpered with each break of the kiss would be putting it lightly. The noise he emitted was a loud whine, a tearless sob of frustration. Even though he loved this flirty, playful side of his new lover, he wanted to deepen the kiss. Badly. “Don’t make me beg, Gav,” but even those words held that obvious twinge of pleading to them. 

Bottom lip jutted out, brow furrowing slightly and eyes widening, the Commander gazed at his lover with a pathetic show of need. He’d give Hux the moment, just this once. After all, he had initiated, or rather, tried to initiate them into a role of rank. Least he could do was beg once for the redhead. Though deep down, he knew that it would happen a second time, and a third, and possibly more.

“Please, darlin’?” A tanned hand lifted as fingertips brushed against a pale cheek. A tiny smirk threatened to appear as Poe lifted his head, attempting to coax the other into a proper kiss, wanting more. Needing more from him.

"Well, since you've asked so nicely," Gavin responded, his smile fading into a smirk. He liked the sound of begging - liked it when people sucked up to him because that was what he deserved. He deserved the galaxy on a damn platter. But, still, he wasn't entirely certain if having the Rebel plead was something he wanted to hear.

Another ponder, another time.

When he pulled the pilot back down, the kiss between them was languid and exploratory as it deepened and heated. Hux used his hold on Dameron's shoulders to arch the few inches off the bed that separated them, pressing himself completely to his lover.

The ginger could practically feel his blood moving south the longer they stayed glued together and he whimpered against the pilots lips. "You beg so prettily," he teased.

“Mm, is that so?” Soft smacking sounds filled the minimal space between their heated bodies as Poe’s lips continued pressing against Gavin’s, over, and over. And over. Feeling the slender body lift up from the bed, Poe slid his arm around smaller, yet still broad, shoulders, holding him tight against him. But after a moment, the pilot dropped to his side, causing Hux to move with him, their bodies still tightly pressed chest to chest.

Locking their legs together once more, Poe rolled his hips forward, pressing his evident arousal into his lover’s. “Do you want me to keep begging?” His voice was gruff, weighed down with burning desire. His hips kept rutting forward in search of that needed friction. With his arousal left to waste the previous night, even if it was his decision in the end to ignore it, Poe felt it surging on very quickly and without hesitation. 

“What do you want me to beg for, Hux?” Teeth caught the recruit’s bottom lip as a faint, playful growl echoed from Dameron’s mouth. “Your touch?” Cupping both of his lover’s cheeks, Poe pushed forward, their mouths fighting in a heated kiss, his tongue pressing in deep. “Your kiss?” One hand lifted, tanned fingers brushing through fiery locks. “To hear you beg for _me_?” The more he spoke, the deeper and rougher his voice became.

The ginger leaned into the hand in his hair, letting his eyes slide closed as he listened to the gravel that started taking over Poe's voice. His own hips rutted forward, more than willing to help the pilot's seek the friction they both wanted. Hux shifted around until he had the room necessary to rest a hand against Poe's lower abdomen, feeling the roll of muscles beneath his fingertips.

"Fuck, keep doing that, and I'll beg on my own," the General groaned. He was hard in no time, his body reacting not just to the stimulation, but to the man who was causing it. Gavin wanted Poe. It was as simple as that. One plus one will always equal two. No matter how wrong it was, no matter how much he will always look down at the Resistance like scum, no matter that they waged a war on opposite sides, the fact was that the solution was always the same. "Poe..."

How had the Commander one-upped him? The General's mind wandered back to their first meeting - how they had clashed three times and he had come out victorious each round. Now, with no effort at all, the pilot had the strategist on the verge of heated urgency and nagging desperation. He gazed into the endless black pools of vision in front of him. He shifted his legs where they were locked in the Commander's. "Dammit, Dameron."

As his hips rolled forward, Poe’s hardened cock rubbed against Hux’s, finding that added friction from their clothing all the more arousing. Tanned hands became restless, his nerves nearly vibrating with desire, and moved down from the bright locks they were currently hidden in. Moving up and down the expanse of pale back, calloused fingertips pressed slightly harder into the flesh, soon trailing relentlessly over the tiny goosebumps they caused. Every so often, fingernails dug into the warm skin, leaving half-moon shaped welts in their wake.

Poe’s mouth wasn’t very far off from the desire for closeness as his hands were. Leaning in, the Commander slotted his lips over his recruit’s, engaging them in an opened mouth kiss. Lips moved over the other’s with building heat, though their actions were much slower than previous kisses. His tongue rolled forward to deepen the moment, sparking more flames to lick at every nerve within him, even deep down into his core. With his cock pulsating, desperate for better contact, Poe shifted closer, thinking he could accomplish that need with simple movement, which proved not to be the case.

The kiss remained slow, every fiber in Poe’s being screaming at him to pick up the pace. But he didn’t want this rushed. He wanted to take his time, savor his lover. Explore every bit of him with hands, mouth, and tongue. His palms slipping lower down the slender body, he didn’t pause until he had a decent handful of the redhead’s ass, groping him with explorative, nearly innocent, touches. His fingers dug into the ample flesh, pulled the cheeks apart, pushed them back together, then used the grip to pull Hux closer, gyrating his hips in the process.

Regardless of the slow pace of the kiss and the hands massaging his ass, a part of Hux was still tempted to tease and prod and analyze. It was a very small part of him, he found out as Poe ground against him, but it still whispered. The redhead pulled away from the kiss with a whimper and a roll of his hips. Pale hands slowly moved in the small amount of space between them – palms running over the pilot’s chest and knuckles grazing the ginger. They moved, lingered, moved again, and settled completely at the top of the Commander’s stomach. Gavin half-rolled, forcing his lover to be in a position that was slightly more on top of the paler man.

“You.” The kiss restarted and Hux hissed between the smack of their lips. “Are.” Their mouths fit together like they were made for one another. “Driving.” Their tongues twisted and teased. “Me.” Hux bit the pilot’s lower lip, just a hint of canines away from being painful. “Absolutely.” He smiled as he stayed just barely out of reach. “Mad.”

Only being partially on top of his lover gave Poe the upper hand when it came to teasing. He lifted the knee mostly on top of the ginger and bent it at the kneecap, using it to brush and nudge his lover’s highly visible erection. “Me? Do you have any idea how mad you drive me?” Flicking his tongue out, he traced the shape of Gavin's mouth, then proceeded to kiss him deep as can be. One hand found its way into the bright hair, tugging on it and further knotting it even more. 

The Rebel pilot’s knee continued its teasing actions, not slowing down, though not exactly increasing either speed or pressure. But simply letting it remain there as a reminder of what he could get. If only he were to beg.

“Tell me, baby. What do you want me to do to you?” He left a trail of suckliing kisses from the corner of Hux’s mouth up to his earlobe, once more nibbling it into his mouth. “Do you want me to suck you again?” The Commander’s breath gusted warm over a pale ear, Poe’s heavy lidded gaze noting how they flushed into a pinkish red color. “My hand? Maybe I should leave you on edge all morning, hm?” His hand slid down the lithe body to give his prick a short lived squeeze.

Hux grit his teeth to cut off the whine that wanted to escape him from Poe's teasing. His mind had flipped - this wasn't just an interaction between two lovers to him anymore, this was a game, a challenge. Three to zero. It was three to zero in the General's favor and this counted as the next round.

Fuck, he wanted to beg.

He also wanted to _win_.

One hand trailed downward from where it rested, just barely ghosting over the pilot's defined abs as it slowly reached the waistband of Dameron's underwear. Two fingers dipped into the boxers, brushing over the soft skin they found there before retreating. Gavin softly gripped his mentor's covered cock, giving it a few rubs before his hand stilled completely and simply hovered there.

"Leave me on edge," the ginger ground out, threatening like a storm on the horizon. "And see how quickly your lesson goes south today."

“I’d rather you go south today,” the Commander grumbled very lowly under his breath, huffing through his nostrils. There was no way he’d let Gavin outwit him once again. Especially in bed. So the pilot maintained his smirk and resumed the groping of his lover’s covered prick. “Mm, think about it for a second, doll. I can get you right to the brink, right there where you can _feel_ it about to happen. Then stop.” As he spoke, he slowly started kissing his way down Hux’s body, lips and tongue making sure to pay extra attention to quickly hardened nipples.

When he reached the navel, he dipped his tongue in as a teasing gesture, then continued his trail lower. All the while, his grip continued its gentle massage on the hardened cock, swiping the pad of his thumb over the fabric-covered slit until he could feel that hint of dampness forming. “Leave you like that during the _entire_ lesson, right?” His mouth now covered the prick, replacing his hand, as he pressed his tongue into the fabric.

He could feel his warm breath hitting his face, being deflected for the most part by the fabric, but he knew enough of it was doing its job at teasing his lover. “Then fuck you so hard right there once I dismiss everyone.” Playful dark eyes flick up as he continued rubbing his lips over various parts of Gavin’s dick, knowing he had to have him to the point of begging by now. “Or, you can beg me not to. To take you right here, right now.” He’d win this round somehow.

By the time the pilot stopped speaking, Hux had gripped the sheets beneath him in an attempt to focus and to ground himself. He could deal with various levels of pain - interrogation training was something he was familiar with, even more so because he was a superior officer - but having to try and keep his own desire at bay as his body shivered in pleasure? That was not in the training regimen. 

The ginger let out a shaky breath as he cast his eyes downward at the smirking curly haired man. He swallowed around the pleading words that were trying to rise up in his throat. "Beg you? Why? You've just told me that, whether now or in just a few hours, I'll already be getting what I want." He cocked his head, voice quivering. "Perhaps...ah...perhaps you should..." The taunt trailed off as Gavin turned his head away and bit back another sound threatening to tumble past his lips.

Three to zero. Three to zero. The General worked to collect himself, even as the glass was shattering around him and he was stuck in free fall. What was the difference between now and later? He could hold out for a morning if it meant that Dameron would be just as bothered and thinking about fucking him throu--

"Force, please, Poe," Hux gave in. Three to one. He could deal with that. "Please. Now...take me, now."


	20. Locked in Battle, Not in Intimacy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make us write longer chapters ;)
> 
> Love ya'll!!!
> 
> -Poe and Hux

Bingo. Add that to the list of victories. Better yet, now he could start a list of victories. He had Gavin _exactly_ where he wanted him. Perfect. “Love it when you get like this.” Poe would make it his daily duty to reduce the snarky, sarcastic redhead to a whimpering, pleading mess if he could. Granted, he would probably be sent straight to the medic ward if he were to approach General Organa with that request for an official title change away from 'Commander'; however, in the privacy of his quarters… 

“Can’t resist a pretty mouth like that.” Smirking his victory, Poe slid his fingers beneath the elastic of the waistband and sat back, swiftly tugging the material down and off long, pale legs. He licked his lips in an almost hungry manner, feeling his own cock tenting pathetically against the soft fabric of his underwear. “So beautiful…” Tanned fingers encircled the base of the cock, nestled against the tuft of reddish orange hair. “How badly do you want it?”

With very slow, though a firm grip, movements, Poe leaned in and began to stroke the redhead’s cock. His lips slotted over his once again, the speed of the kiss matching the slower pace of his wrist. He would drive Hux to the very brink of desperation before the morning was over, or he would forfeit another day of lessons with his recruits.

The ginger came very close to crying out softly when fingers wrapped around his arousal and Poe pressed their mouths back together. Nope. Nuh uh. He had already been reduced to begging once today. He wasn't doing it again. As Hux writhed under the tantalizing pumps of the Commander's, though, he started to wonder more and more how bad it would be to set aside his pride to instead get what he wanted.

No. It wasn't going to happen.

Slender hips tried to change the speed of Dameron's stroke, but to no avail. Gavin turned away from the kiss, eyes closed, and tried to focus on sentences that didn't start with 'please' and end with 'Poe'. When he finally put one together, he knew it was a challenge that he would lose time and time again - try me, make me, I dare you. When jade eyes opened, again, the defiance was back, as was the, more or less, calmness. The flush on the General's cheeks and the way his voice wavered, however, betrayed how inaccurate his first taunt was. "Really, Flyboy. It's going to take more than...a few slow strokes to get me begging for more," he made a soft sound. "But you. How long can you go, _Darling_ , before you're desperate to fuck me?"

With that said, a pale hand slipped into the darker man's underwear to start it's own slow strokes on the man's cock. The redhead smirked and pulled his lover back into a kiss.

Poe felt that mocking victory being erased from his mental tally as his hips instantly jerked forward into the grip on his own arousal. Brow knitted, eyes nearly fully shut, a sharp cry left the pilot’s lips before he could stop it. The sound, however, muffled against Gavin’s mouth as the taller male initiated them into a kiss. Another twist of their positions had the pair dangerously close to the edge of the bed, the redhead now resting on top of him.

The whimpered groan drifting from the Commander forced a warmth to coat his cheeks and he shut his eyes tightly, trying not to imagine the obvious look of victory on his recruit’s face. Losing himself entirely in the moment, a rougher hand moved between their close bodies to once more wrap around Hux’s prick, giving him full, proper, long strokes now with much more speed added to the flick of his wrist.

Images began to plague his mind of Gavin riding him. Watching his body moving so sensually over his shaft. It had Poe clamping down hard on his own bottom lip to stifle his pleas threatening to erupt from his chest. The hand working his cock made it all the more difficult, so Poe lifted his hips, seeking more friction on his arousal. All while mentally begging his lover for more.

The switch in position was a mere illusion of control, and Hux knew it. The buck of Dameron's hips supported that statement. The tan hand on his cock proved it. His legs quivered where they were on either side of the pilot's own. Hux made a breathy noise, grinding into the fingers that worked him expertly.

He looked down on Poe like a statue might with it's maker - a porcelain figure staring at the man who was making him complete. Was that what the Commander was doing? Was the ginger doing the same? Two lost puzzle pieces who found that, despite being a part of two different images, slotted together so perfectly.

When Gavin gave in, it was as an absolute. He settled fully on the pilot's lap, head tilting in a way that showed off his long neck. His green eyes locked with the black ones of his mentor, an emerald flame that danced with heat. The hand on Dameron's length paused and then stopped all motion. "Fuck this...please, take me. Have me." He leaned down to kiss the shorter man. "Please. Need you. I'll sass you later to make up for begging."

Hearing such a definite plea to his lover’s words, even if they ended back with his infamous snark, Poe felt a shiver course its way down his body. It was a heat that pooled in his cheeks, made him swallow hard, then it shot straight down his spine, finally pooling back in his gut. “I’ll have you begging even more before this morning is over,” the pilot growled as he gently rolled them once more, needing Hux to get off from on top of him so he could undress the rest of the way.

However, being far too consumed in the moment, the direction in which Poe flipped them was quite possibly the worst decision he could have made in the moment. His shoulder touched mattress for just a split second before nothing but air supported him as he rolled them right over the edge. The look on his face was perhaps more comical than it was anything else as he sent them toppling right over the side of the bed to land awkwardly on the floor in a pile of tangled limbs and a secure embrace. 

“I-I am, a-are you, did you get, are you alright?” After an uncharacteristic yelp, muttered, frantic words spilt from the Commander’s downturned lips as he began checking Gavin’s face for any sign of injury that would require immediate attention. He, once more, was lying half on top of the ginger, gazing down at him as a mischievous glint sparkled in onyx eyes. A snort was the next sound to follow, his lips fighting hard to not form a grin, before finally laughter erupted from inside him.

The sudden directional pitch had Hux reeling until Poe's laughter broke through his confused mind. Jade eyes stared up at the other man before a wide smile and laughter of his own caused them to slip closed. The only thing that the fall and the startled noise that came from the ginger actually hurt was his pride - and, really, in the situation before him, that was a small price to pay. Warning bells were silenced as they tried to mentally sound.

Gavin's hands, which had gripped the pilot's upper arms as they fell, gently moved to cup the man's face as their laughter faded. A small smile still played on both of their lips as Hux pulled his lover down into a soft kiss. He should have been upset over being, basically, thrown out of bed and onto the ground. He should have snarked and pushed the man away. He should have done a lot of things, but he didn't.

He didn't want to. He was actually happy for once - he, Gavin, not the cold General persona that he wore on the Finalizer. That was the other thing - the redhead was free to be himself, and perhaps that wasn't too far off from his normal professionalism, but it was something.

When the kiss broke, their gazes met again. "I'm starting to think you have a floor kink, too."

The warmth that was settling so perfectly within the Commander’s body had nothing to do with shame, embarrassment, or arousal. No, this was a warmth much deeper than that; metaphorically, _and_ physically. It had red lights flashing as a dangerous warning within his mind. The warmth was definitely related to feeling. Emotional connection. It was a warmth he hadn’t felt in a much longer time than anything else. The kind of warmth that set his heart rate into a rhythm that would make the fastest drummer jealous. It forced his gut to feel as though a rabble of butterflies took flight, beating their delicate wings angrily inside of him.

Such a simple moment, so innocent given the current situation at hand. A fall. A tumble out of bed. Limbs locked safely around the other, faces flushed and lips stretched into natural smiles. In that moment, there was no Commander and recruit. No rank in play, no animosity, no sarcasm. It was just them, Poe and Gavin. Two recently discovered lovers enjoying the other’s company. That kiss, if nothing else, confirmed to Dameron what that warmth signified. But he wasn’t concerned. He wasn’t freaking out, but instead, he clicked those warning lights off, blissfully ignoring them.

“In my defense,” he chuckled lowly against the redhead’s lips, not wanting to part from that intoxicating feeling the connection brought with it. “ _You_ were the one that sent us falling to the floor last night. I had absolutely no problem remaining on my feet.” A playful grin residing on his features, Poe peppered his lover’s mouth with gentle, lingering pecks. One hand already cupping his cheek slowly slid up into the bright red hair, giving the bedhead locks a subtle tug as the kiss began to deepen.

Whatever comment Hux had grumbled regarding the pull on his hair was muffled and forgotten against the pilot's mouth. This - the thing between them - was very quickly getting out of hand. The warmth, the way his heart seemed to beat in time with Dameron's, the soft smiles and teasing words...all of it was out of his control. In that moment, Gavin mentally walked over to his alarm system - the part of him that screeched for this to end, for them to part, for the mission to retake his focus - and simply unplugged it.

He hadn't felt this kind of connection in years, and he'd be damned if he was going to let it slip through his fingers while he was still here and not among the stars. His hands moved in opposite directions - one traveled upward into thick, black curls as the other slipped downward to rest on the side of Poe's neck. There was a word for this, and Gavin knew it. He just would never admit it. Would never tell a soul. He'd take it to his grave before ever speaking it aloud.

A First Order General would, no, _could_ never fall for a Resistance Commander. It was something that was out of the realm of possibility. Giving any time at all to that pondering would be a waste of time because the conclusion would always be the same - impossible, incomprehensible. Yet, in the moment Hux found himself...with this pilot that represented everything he could have been, had he taken just one, small turn in his life's path...the redhead found infatuation and longing.

"Fuck."

Panting slightly from the depth the kiss just held, Poe pulled back at the exclamation and gave a soft frown. The word did not sound as though it were muttered from desire, or an outburst of arousal. The breathy start and the slight drop of pitch would indicate there was something more hidden behind the simple one syllable word. Dark eyes blinked several times as swollen lips tugged down even further into a frown. The back of tanned fingers brushed against a cheekbone.

“Are you alright, love?” Poe’s words came out with tender care as he gazed with concern into jade eyes. He could nearly see his own reflection in the cool depth they held, a miniature version of himself staring back. “Did I hurt you?” Last thing he would ever want to do would be to hurt Hux, especially in such a silly way. His other hand remained in fiery hair as he lightly massaged the scalp with his fingertips.

Oh, the General thought, that one word was said aloud, then. "I-no, you didn't hurt me," he answered. It was mostly true. The pilot had not physically harmed him in any way - mentally and emotionally, though, the man was a storm that raged inside of Gavin. His defenses were broken, the glass ceiling shattered as he was held, suspended in the fall because he wasn't willing to let himself to be caught.

That didn't mean he wanted to be dropped, either. And that was the bigger issue.

"You've struck me, Poe," Gavin softly continued with a small furrow of his brow as he tried tried to make sense of what had changed - how they had come to this. "And I'm not sure I'll be able to get you out of my head." He was falling faster, shards glinting in the air around him like snow. "And I don't know what that means because I hardly know you and don't believe in fairy tales." Green eyes glanced away. "But...Force..."

Hux’s words brought a gentle smile to the pilot’s lips, but they didn’t bring him that warmth that they could possibly bring. Instead, it forced a subtle sadness to flash over otherwise caring features. “Gavin,” he began softly, continuing with his gentle, comforting caresses. “We… Reacted very much like a volcano. It’s been boiling since we met, we’ve had our fire shows, our explosions, but this. This was the big event. We made it through all that, and here we are.”

They weren’t words leading up to anything good. Nothing bad, but certainly nothing he wanted to be saying half naked, cock erect, on top of his naked and aroused lover.

“But maybe we erupted _too_ quickly. We built up too fast, too suddenly. Do you..?” He licked his own lips, gazing down up the redhead with an almost pained look in his eyes. “Do you think we’re moving too fast?” The proper way to have done it would have been to date _first_. To actually get to know each other to ensure there was something more there than a need for sexual released.

Granted, Poe could tell now that there was something deeper there. It didn’t take a genius to discover that. But the way that it was brought into the light and discovered could have been handled in a much calmer, more appropriate way. He wasn’t having second thoughts, not at all. Those would more than likely come the next time Hux had him trembling with building anger and storming away in a childish manner once more. No, he huffed. Even then, he wouldn’t regret what they had. Because for the time being, he wasn’t Commander Dameron. He wasn’t some undercover recovering junkie. He was just Poe. Happy.

Hux bit his lip at the question and the way the pilot was looking down at him. Did he think that they were moving too fast? The fact that there was any motion at all was two quick. There should be none. The momentum they carried and the speed of acceleration had nothing to do with it - there just should not be any forward push at all. They should be locked in battle, not in intimacy.

With a small sigh, Gavin moved around so he could wrap his arms around the Commander's shoulders in a loose embrace. A small shake of his head started his answer to his lover. "I think we moved with the music," he began. "I think we did everything in reverse, but I don't regret it. I'm just," a pause, "concerned and confused about..." 

'Careful, Hux,' he thought to himself. 'Because the next words said could change everything, whether you want them to or not. This was like walking on a tightrope.'

"I'm worried that we...might end as quickly as we began," he stated softly. He _knew_ that they would end just as swiftly, there was no other way for them to burn out than in an unpredictable and blazing manner. "And I don't want that. Force, it's been a week and I sound like a lovesick pup, but...I want us to last. And that scares me even more than the thought of us _not_ lasting."

There was no way that Poe could listen to those words and _not_ feel a rush of pure adrenaline. Just knowing this man who had been in such a horrible relationship in his past wanted _him_. Gavin wanted to put his full trust in him, and Poe felt as though he was on cloud nine. An almost sense of euphoria consumed the Rebel pilot’s body as he tightened his grip on the red locks of hair and kissed him so deep that when he pulled back, he was red in the face and completely breathless.

“We’ll find a way, baby,” he husked in between heavy panting, his eyes locked so intensely on Hux’s green ones that he was certain his gaze would bore right through his lover’s skull. Somehow, they could make it work, make _them_ work. It wouldn’t be easy, that he was sure of. And it would take quite the bit of effort on most part. It wasn’t often Poe made such declarations towards a man he hardly knew. Let alone one he spent the entire beginning of their relationship at each other’s throats.

The hand threaded through bright strands began to lessen as the pilot bent in to continue kissing him. Though the heat lingered behind his actions, it was nowhere near as rough as the previous one. “Just… You need to,” he pecked their lips together another time, then again, “bear with me,” and again, though this time the connection lingered, “please…” The Commander could not stress enough how much confidence he lacked in himself when it came to being good for anyone else. Not after Adrian. He had convinced himself wholly that he would never succeed in another relationship.

The reassurances that mingled with kisses and other, odd words calmed the ginger as much as anything would. Part of him felt like a game-master who was using Poe as a piece, but...he also couldn't help but feel like they were getting closer to being on level playing fields. The General hummed against Poe's lips. "Force, love, I'll bear with you and you bear with me."

Gavin pressed his own kisses against the pilot's mouth before very suddenly stopping and looking at at his lover with a calculative gaze. He had an itch in his mind - a hunch that they weren't talking about their pasts and how they were both trying to cope. He took a breath as he watched the micro-expressions play over the Commander's face. A conversation to be had another day, when they weren't lying on the floor, cocks hard, and whispering promises to one another that one of them would eventually break.

So, with practiced ease, Hux shifted his expression to a sultry look and a smirk. They would have more time to talk and sort through everything that plagued them at a later time. Now, however, Gavin - and he assumed the pilot himself - needed a much more physical affirmation of the words they spoke to one another. "Now, where were we?"

Those words spoken so sensually from his lover were the exact words that Poe needed to hear at the moment. It was a reassurance that Hux had wanted them to carry on and move forward, not turn and run in the opposite direction with tails between legs. His cock twitched at that, having lost some of its firmness, but now stood fully erect and proud between their bodies. 

“I believe we were right about…” Rutting against Gavin’s body once more, the pilot smirked. “Here.” He made no effort to move them off of the floor, but instead rolled fully on top of him. As plump lips slotted over pale ones, Poe reached up, blindly searching for that small vial of oils he had left somewhere on top of the nightstand. 

Knuckles bumped into the stack of two plates still resting precariously on top of his pack of cigarettes, causing them to fall noisily to the floor as they shattered and scattered over the floor. But the Commander’s kiss only deepened even further, his hips now rolling against the lithe body in a dry humping motion. When he felt his fingers wrap around the vial, he broke the kiss and sat up enough to straddle his recruit, glaring down at him with an unmatched heat to his eyes.

The ginger met his mentor's piercing gaze in a way that reminded him of the first time they met. This was different, of course - the heat between was not the same, the glare did not hold resentment, they were not challenging one another. Well, not in the same way.

A green stare was the first to turn away as Gavin cast his eyes downward and over Poe's body. A pale hand slowly moved to wrap around the pilot's cock at the same time that the other lightly petted dark curls. He was smitten and he knew it. He couldn't fight that realization. He couldn't pretend hard enough that it didn't exist.

In a low whisper, exaggerated by the General's accent, Hux asked, "Well, Commander, what will you do, now? How do you want to fuck me?"

“En todas las formas posibles…” Poe’s growled response came through in his other language without him realizing it; his focus primarily being the firm grasp around his cock. “Usted en la parte superior…” That image that surfaced in his mind prior of the redhead riding him really stuck, so with another roll of their bodies, Poe settled on his back against the hard floor, gazing up at his lover. 

Though the action was a bit more difficult in this position, Poe managed to pop open the vial and slick his fingers with the oils. Another shower would certainly be in their near future, as some had dripped onto his chest. Setting the vial down on the floor beside him, Poe lifted his hips into his lover’s hand, while his own reached around behind him. He used one hand to spread Hux’s cheeks, while the lubed one pressed against his tight entrance. 

“Eras tan apretado a mi alrededor,” the Commander growled again as he felt the tight walls resist the intrusion of his finger. But he didn’t let up. He continued to press deeper into him, knowing very well by now how accommodating Gavin’s body could be for his thick length. “Do you like that, baby? ¿Se siente bien? Me gusta. Mucho.” His mind, clouded over by lust, was unable to decipher if his words were coming across in the right dialect or not.

The shivers that were overcoming Hux's body were only partially because of the finger moving inside of him and much more because of the language that Dameron had fallen into. He made a broken little sound, the pale hand he had wrapped around the pilot's cock had stopped completely as he closed his green eyes and focused on the accent that adorned those words and the feeling of Poe opening him up.

"A ghaoil, a bheil fhios agad dè a nì thu rium?" Gavin gasped, deigning to fight fire with fire as he rested astride his lover. He couldn't deny that this was one of his favorite positions - to still be fucked but to also to have control in the entire situation. At least until he deemed it time to relinquish that power. "Tha mi ag iarraidh thu taobh a-staigh orm." His hand restarted its rhythm - slow and teasing, now, almost not even there. "Airson nach bi e comasach a 'coiseachd an dèidh sin."

The ginger's hips jerked slightly as his body loosened and rocked against the pilot's finger. "Stop being so fucking careful," he ground out as he glared down at his mentor, jade eyes flashing silver. His grip on the shorter man's prick tightened. "I'm not some porcelain doll."

To add to his point - or perhaps to cut off any argument that may have been vocalized - Hux pressed a rough kiss to the man beneath him. He nipped at the Commander's lips, as he ordered the lower ranked male to bend to his will. "Chan eil ceist agam dòighean no mo bhriathra, Dameron." Perhaps the taunt that his methods not be questioned was inching a little too close to his true identity, but he was willing to chance it in a different language - on that he was certain the other man knew nothing about.

How could Poe deny that porcelain doll remark and continue to treat him as such? So terrified of doing something wrong, the Commander was too busy calculating the right course of action instead of just living in the moment. So… He instantly slipped another finger into his lover’s body and scissored both just a couple times before pulling out completely. “You may regret that…” He teased with a gravelly voice, his other hand pouring some oils down his length. 

Now, with both hands gripping Gavin’s waist, he lifted him up slightly. There was no way the redhead’s body was fully stretched for him, but Hux asked, no, nearly demanded this. With his tip pressed just into Gavin’s body, a deep groan rumbled low in the pilot’s chest as he simply held him there. His hips lifted, feeling the recruit’s body reluctantly stretching to accommodate his sudden intrusion. 

“MMmmngh, fuck! O-Oh, fuck, Gav!” Dameron cried out, quite loudly actually. The restraints of the ring of muscle applying such intoxicating pressure to his cock had a severe wave of heat crashing against his core. “Nnngh, o-oh, mierda! A-Ah, shit!” The pilot was panting now, having not expected the half-preparation to feel so fucking good around his body.

The sound ginger made at the burn of being stretched around the pilot's prick was close to inhuman - some mix of multiple dialects, pained pleasure, and something that could only be described as Hux-ian. The hands on his waist kept him steady, and he was grateful for that as he shifted his legs to find his balance before continuing the downward motion that came with willingly being impaled. "Fuck, ah...you're...fuck, you're big."

Gavin's eyes fell shut as he made his way, inch by slow inch, to rest against his lover, completely. He groaned, rocking slightly and gasping at the sparks of pleasure it caused. Just a moment, that's all he needed. A moment to catch his breath and to step back from the wave of heat that had crashed against him. Jade orbs revealed themselves, gazing down into the burning coals watching him.

Fingers lightly traced over the Commander's jawline and softly trailed over his full lips in an odd contrast to the roughness happening where their bodies connected. The General shook his head slightly, his smile almost lazy. He didn't know why all of this was coming together so quickly, but he'd be damned if he let it slip through his fingers. Hux placed his hands against his lover's chest, finding an easy place to balance himself before he slowly lifted himself, twisted his hips slightly, and lowered himself onto Poe's body once more. "A 'faireachdainn cho math. Tha gràdh aig a bheil thu taobh a-staigh mi."

The shudder and deep groan that jolted his body was either from the delicious language sensually speaking those foreign words, or that intoxicating twist of the hips his lover gifted him with. Regardless of the source, Poe lifted his hips, pushing Gavin's body up some in the process, seeking more of both. He moved his hands from the spot they were residing on slender hips, back around his lover's form to grip his ass cheeks with fervor. The intensity the groping held was fueled strictly by the waves of pleasurable heat overtaking his body like a tidal wave.

"O-Oh, shit, love... Mmngh, fuck. Yes. That, do that... Nngh, again!"

Husked words were replaced every so often by an unstoppable grunt or groan, the Commander finding speech perhaps a bit too difficult to process at the moment. So he reduced himself to more primitive sounds instead, pearly white teeth clamping hard against his plump lower lip. This time as his hips snapped up, he did so with enough force to cause Gavin to bounce on his lap, feeling his cock push deeper still into the slender, intoxicating body of his lover.

The ginger cried out, back bowing as he twisted his hips again in an almost jerky motion. "Mo Dhia, fuck, a-rithist...sin a dhèanamh--Again, do that again," Hux finally managed to remember how to translate the words into Basic as he parted the fog in his mind for a few seconds. He raised and lowered himself quicker, his legs quivering slightly. Force, this was perfect.

Hux dropped himself completely onto his lover's prick, groaning at the feeling of being so full. He gently rutted against his lover, gasping as the motion caused his prostate to be teased. "Fuck, Poe..."

With some unknown power within him, Gavin forced his movements to stop as he leaned forward to kiss the pilot for a few moments - another juxtaposition that made every other sensation that much more intense. He straightened again and continued his little forward-backward motions as he bit his lower lip and whimpered. With a smirk reforming on his lips, the General shifted his weight once more and started his rise and fall thrusts, anew. "Thig air, gaol. Siuthad."

Every thrusting motion of the redhead's body sent a flash of sparks to shoot up from the dark haired male's groin to then travel throughout his body. Poe reached into the space between their bodies and had his fingers wrap firmly around his lover's cock. The other hand flattened against bright kinky curls adorning Gavin's groin, then traveled upwards with a heavy press. 

He watched as the tips of his fingers forced Hux's muscles and flesh to press in as the slow motion kept his palm moving forward. When he had a nipple covered, he began to massage the area, purposely grinding the heel of his palm into the sensitive nub. "Mmm, fuck, baby. Don't stop... A-Ah fuck, please don't stop...!"

Giving in to Gavin's earlier request, the Commander lifted his hips in a swift thrust, finding he quite enjoyed the way his tall, slender partner bounced in the process. So he did it a second time, then a third, before finally settling into a wild rhythm. The gaze he locked on Hux was filled to the brim with heated desire, darkened eyes flashing a shade deeper than onyx.

"Oh, Maker!" The ginger moaned as his lover continued to thrust into him. The snap of the pilot's hips met each of his downward motions halfway in a perfect, mirrored motion. Hux grabbed the wrist of the hand teasing and rubbing his chest. Pleasure burning through him as Poe touched and stroked. "Can't s-stop. Never. Feumaidh tu. An-còmhnaidh. An-còmhnaidh a dhìth tuilleadh," his voice shook as he continued to ride the Commander.

There was some irony in that, but Gavin didn't care enough to flick on his cognitive mind to ponder such petty things. Rather, he swiveled his hips again and gripped Dameron's wrist tighter as he held on for dear life. The sound of skin slapping against skin and the sound of Commander's voice sent another wave of arousal through the redhead. The trembling in his legs was becoming a burn of exertion and control and Hux was quickly faced with a decision.

He met Dameron's next thrust upward and followed the motion downward to come to rest against the curly-haired man's body, quivering legs on either side of the tan form. He was panting, mind blurry and body so filled with pleasure that he never wanted it to end. "Poe...please, I...fuck me, please...can't. I need you."

Poe was so close to the brink of orgasm that the sudden stopping of motion had him whimpering quite childishly. But Hux's whimpered plea caused that heat to surge deep within him once again, bringing forth a look of pure need. It was almost animalistic as he flipped them over and settled his heated body atop the other. But his cock pulled out and he flipped Hux once more so that the redhead was on his stomach. 

Tanned fingers dug into pale hips as he lifted the recruit's lower half, gazing at his lover's abused hole. "Fuck, baby..." The two words, so simple and basic, were growled in such a primitive way, the deepened tone almost unfamiliar to the pilot.

Using one hand to grip his cock, he tightened the hold on Hux's waist, giving his hips one definite thrust to fill the lithe body once again. With his free hand, the pilot pushed against Gavin's lower back, forcing his body to dip in. With the new angle, he started snapping his hips forward with fevered heat, the loud smacking sound of their repetitive connections causing the dark haired male to smirk proudly.

Hux braced himself on his forearms, spreading his knees more and arching his back downward as much as he could. He pushed back into Poe’s thrusts, soft sounds spilling from him turning into cries as the rough fucking continued. A fire started inside of him, blazing throughout the redhead – heat spreading and chaining him to the Commander giving it to him. He curled his toes, fingers finding nothing to grip around them and curling similarly.

The General shifted his weight, willing to risk losing his balance as he snaked a hand down his own body to start jerking himself off in harmonized strokes to Dameron’s movements. “Love…I…Force, close. So close.”

He was fucked – and not just literally. As much as he pushed that thought aside, it kept sneaking back into his head. A particularly perfect thrust silenced it for a long moment as Gavin’s eyes lost focus and he mewled. “Poe, there! Again! There!” He writhed, the muscles in his back rolling and undulating as he chased the sensation.

"Ahh, fuck!! M'so fuckin' close too, doll! So fuckin' close!" Planting one foot firmly on the floor, Poe pushed up so he was hovered more over his lover's body. His thrusts were now angled downwards and slightly to the right, hitting that spot that had Gavin crying out with desire just seconds ago. Words were now lost on the Commander as his body began to burn from the intense workout it was undergoing. 

With one sudden last sharp cry, unable to prevent himself from stopping, the Rebel fighter thrusted in deep and stilled. His head tossed back, crying out his lover's name in a loud yell, spilling his seed deep inside of him. Poe didn't allow his movements to be stalled for too long, however, knowing how close to the brink of release Hux was.

So he gave one of the pale, though flushed, ass cheeks a swift spank, clamping down hard on his bottom lip, and started fucking him with no reserve once more. Every snap of his hips had him mewling and whining with burst of heat, his cock still hard, but entirely over sensitive to even the simplest of stimulations.

Each movement pushed Gavin closer and closer to the edge as his own hand tightened around himself and stroked faster. It was the realization that he could actually _feel_ Poe's cum slipping down his thighs that pushed him over the edge and had his own seed splattering onto the floor. He cried out in blinding pleasure, fingers falling away from his prick as his body shuddered.

He quickly became overstimulated and his body twitched at every shift made by the pilot. Little twitches took over him, causing him to shiver and whimper as the Commander's motions continued. Hux reached behind himself to place a stilling hand on his lover's hip as he panted and gasped for breath. "Force, Poe..." He turned his head to cast a green gaze to Dameron. The words came with a small smile - a tease and perhaps a little hope and promise for more to come. 

The General hummed slightly, his thoughts flitting around his head faster than he could grasp at them. Ponderings about where this would lead them and how he didn't want this to just be a way to get his sex fix sated while away from the Finalizer. He considered what it would mean for him to ask the golden pilot to come with him. He wondered what Dameron would even say when he realized what was happening. 

Poe was a little more than glad to know his lover reached orgasm. The blinding, white hot heat still plaguing his body from his post-orgasm daze was getting to become too intense. But even as he stilled his motions, hunched over Gavin’s form and panting heavily, he felt his cock remain stiff; no after-release softening. It was with a whimper that he slowly pulled out, eyes scrunched up tight, unable to respond to anything Hux was speaking to him at the moment. 

Gripping his sensitive cock, the pilot winced, his intake of breath mimicking that of a long hiss. His stout fingers gave it one, two subtle squeezes, forcing little whimpers of pain to drift from his parted lips. With his head tossed back, Poe stroked himself no more than three times before a second orgasm ripped through him. Three thick spurts of cum landed partially on the swell of one of Hux’s cheeks, but most of it dripping down the crack. 

Only then was he able to fall to the side, ignoring the painful connection with the hard floor. The Commander’s face still held a hint of pain to it as his breathing hitched in short, huffy breaths. But after a few moments, his expression softened and he groaned, still faintly squeezing and tugging his now softening cock. “Mmngh, f-fuck,” tumbled from lazy lips, the pilot’s body shivering with lingering ecstasy. He had never cum twice in one go before, his body teasing him with lasting jolts until he finally collapsed exhaustedly on the floor beside his lover. 

“Eso fue una locura…” Whispered words finally caused Poe to crack open his eyes, though only halfway, and he turned his head to gaze at the ginger. “Are you alright?” He asked with full concern laced through his words, a faint hint of a smile flirting with his lips.

Hux glanced at his lover once before slowly lying on his side as well, facing the pilot and careful to not accidentally land in the sticky, white seed on the floor. He trembled and he could feel the soreness already settling in - well, that would be with him the rest of the day. Despite the pain and the way he was still gasping for breath, the ginger was fucked out, but happily so.

With shaking arms and legs, Gavin slowly forced himself off the floor and closer to the Commander. He tried to bite back the whimpers that the short distance caused. Laying beside his lover, just a few inches between them, the General offered the other man a lazy smile. "I'm alright," he stated. His body, however, seemed against him as another spike of his aftershock caused him to shiver and curl forward slightly.

"F-Force," he groaned, crossing one knee in front of the other and dropping one hand instinctively to cover his groin. He made another breathy noise. "How are...are you okay?" He laughed breathlessly and leaned forward to kiss the pilot. When he moved back, he lightly bumped the shorter man's forehead with his own. "I'm gonna be feeling you all day."

Hux closed his eyes for a moment, relishing in the feeling of being cared for and sated and cherished. He could feel the connection between them strengthening, solidifying from a bonding over tragic pasts and into something much more...real and present and--

No. He still wasn't going down that road. He kissed Poe again, softly. "Feachd, tha mi smaointinn mi sibh airson 'tuiteam," he whispered the admittance.


	21. An Odd Tango

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone reading, sorry that this was a bit late, but our next chapter will be much longer <3
> 
> Love you lots - please comment and go crazy!
> 
> \- Poe and Hux
> 
> [PS: Rico was here ;) 
> 
> \- R]

The need to fall back into a deep, beautiful sleep with his lover in his arms was greater now than it ever was. Especially with the way Gavin was currently pampering him with such tenderness. His eyes had fallen shut in a lazy way, his lips now curled up into a faint smile. “Whatever you just said, I fully agree.” 

The Commander chuckled lowly, sighing happily as he parted his lids and glanced back at his lover. “Tu llenar esos espacios vacíos en mí,” the pilot decided to confess, knowing Hux would not be able to understand. “Y eso me aterroriza. Tengo miedo de lo que sucederá si esos espacios vacíos se convierten una vez más.”

Shrugging off the concern, Poe decided that it would be a bridge to cross if the time came. For now, there were two awfully sore lovers resting rather uncomfortably on the hard, unforgiving floor. So it was with a deep groan that Poe finally stood, feeling his muscles shift back into place and his joints crack. Parts of his body ached from the exertion, so he could only imagine the discomfort his lover was in.

“Come on. Up you go.” This time as Poe reached down to lift the redhead up, he did so with far less graceful actions. The groan that emitted from his throat was less than attractive and he was quick to drop Hux back onto the bed before smiling. Leaning over, he pecked him on the lips, then walked, nude, to his dresser to pick up his datapad, needing to make sure he sent out a bulletin to the rest of the recruits to meet in the conference room and not on the tarmac

With tired and half-lidded eyes, the ginger watched his over work on whatever it was that held his attention so fully. Hux smiled and rolled over to let his gaze travel down the other man. Even after - and perhaps because of - their tryst, the pilot was flawless and ever-confident. The man's energy was different, now, from all the other times Gavin had seen it.

No. That was wrong. There had been a spark of it on the first day - before their pride stepped in and sent them on a downward spiral that eventually brought them to where they were, now. He was...lighter. Happier and more self-assured. "Tha thu...Chan eil fios agam ciamar a bhith còmhla riut. Coimhead aig ort, a ghraidh. Tha thu h-uile rud a b 'urrainn neach ag iarraidh," Gavin murmured words to the pilot, not entirely sure if the words he spoke made sense.

But it was true. All of it.

The General cuddled with the blanket in front of him, bringing it up and covering half of his face in a slight nuzzle as he continued watching the living artwork in front of him. Messy curls, sweat-shined body, shoulders rising and falling with each breath. Jade eyes ran over the figure in front of him with adoration and pride. He was the person who had captivated this being of sunlight and fire. No one else.

And that didn't make sense, because Hux was just too pale skin and too slender of a figure. He wasn't toned, like Dameron. He didn't have the same flame flickering in his eyes. His eyes were too oddly colored and his accent and hair made him stand out too much. But Poe....well, he was just gorgeous.

"Hey," The redhead whispered. "C'mere."

Fingers tapped the sides of the datapad with uncertainty as Poe tried to force himself to retract the bulletin and just tell them to take the day for themselves. But he couldn’t be selfish… Not so early into whatever this relationship was. No, he had responsibilities, unfortunately. And too many people were depending on him to be fully invested and committed. Even if the only person he wanted to be fully invested and committed to was currently undergoing his post-orgasmic glow on his bed.

At the soft voice, Poe glanced over his shoulder and smiled softly. The sight of Gavin snuggled up to his blanket, his pale skin still holding that beautiful flush was nothing less than endearing. It had the pilot’s smile continuing to grow as he set the device down where it was originally resting. “How do you do that?”

With a warm, loving smile, the Commander crawled his way from the foot of the bed up to where his lover was currently resting. He dropped down by his side and wasted no time in pulling him into his arms. “How do you go from being this… Sensual, arousing vixen? To being quite possibly the most adorable sight I’ve ever laid my eyes on?”

The blush that appeared on the redhead's cheeks had nothing to do with the blissful high he was coming down from and everything to do with the teasing, but still soft, words that were spoken to him. The smile that quirked pale pink lips was almost nonexistent - just the barest upturn at the corner of the General's mouth.

In his life, he had been called all sorts of things - cruel, insane, maniacal, sexy, hot, spicy - but 'adorable' was never a part of that vocabulary. He couldn't see that on himself - he was much more like the fox that pounced on the adorable rabbit than the bunny itself. But hearing the pilot call him such an affectionate term made him warm and happy and wishful that they could simply spend the rest of the day cuddled close to one another.

A darker voice told him to wake up and get back to work.

As Gavin pressed ever closer to his lover, a little sigh escaped him as he settled in a more comfortable position. He had fallen into this man's arms so unexpectedly that he never realized there had ever been a moment when he dropped. "Tha mi ag iarraidh a chumail thu cho dona," he lost himself in the dark eyes before him, translating the phrase only a few seconds afterward, when he realized that he had spoken at all. "I...I want to keep you so badly."

Poe wasn’t even given the chance to ask what was spoken in that other language; regardless, the foreign words with that alluring accent wrapped around them made the faintest splotches of color appear on the pilot’s cheeks. But as soon as he heard the translation, and heard the desire for something more than just sex behind them, Poe’s smile began to take over his face. 

The way his heart leapt at the declaration should have thrown on the warning lights and blasted the alarms, but it didn’t. Unsure why, Poe just chocked it off to he finally found a way to override that internal part of his being to just focus on the here and now. Future heartache be damned.

“I’m not going anywhere, love.”

The Commander allowed a subtle chuckle to tumble past his lips as he cupped his lover’s cheek with his palm. He rubbed the pad of his thumb against Gavin’s bottom lip, eyes like burning charcoal briefly dipping down to admire the contrast of tan versus faint pink. Leaning in, he captured the ginger’s mouth with his own, kissing him with a renewed heat. Though the metaphorical flames behind his lips held nowhere near the strength they recently held, the kiss was still enough to leave the Rebel fighter grunting and pulling back with a slight pant.

“You spoke freely earlier, now it’s my turn. I know you’ve got your reserves on this. Believe me, I do as well. But this isn’t some casual fuck that’s going to end when we part ways this morning, alright? Unless that’s what you want, which I’m leaning more towards it is not.”

As he spoke, Poe’s dark eyes flicked back and forth from irresistible pink lips to breathtaking jade orbs. It still struck the Rebel Commander with awe to connect those pink lips to the same mouth that left him thrumming with anger, and those alluring eyes to the ones that once recently held such disdain and distaste towards him.

"It's not," Hux answered the half-question. He left off 'it should be, because when we part ways later, it will be for the last time and neither of us can change that.' He watched the dark gaze jump between two points on his face and rolled his eyes. The kiss he gave to the pilot was soft, almost not even there, but it sent a shiver down the ginger's spine.

He started to shift closer but stopped with a sharp intake of breath, followed by a hiss. Gavin glared down at his own body as if to tell it to stop being so sore when he was trying to be affectionate. He reached out to gently place a hand on his lover's side, instead. Even after all this, the General knew for certain that he would constantly find ways to cut the pilot off at every turn, consistently one-up him and force him back into line. He would always feel the need to compete and come out victorious because that was the war they waged...and it wasn't going to stop for two terribly star-crossed lovers.

Jade eyes reopened and sought out the night-eyes before him. When had they shifted from hostility and guardedness to being so warm and clear? When had the fire in them burnt out, only to be replaced by sunlight? As his fingertips traced Dameron's lips once more, the redhead's thoughts shifted. A smile, not a sneer, played on them. It hardly made sense. And perhaps that added another layer of allure to all of this - the very fact that it was so far out of the General's control caused the connection between them to stand out against everything else in his life.

"I could spend all day like this," Hux murmured to take his mind away from the thoughts he deemed to ponder while ignoring his lover's lecture. He changed topics again, "who would have ever guessed that all I needed was sass and oddly colored hair to get your attention?" A pause. "We need to move, don't we? I mean, you being late is routine. Me being late, however, is either highly conspicuous or means I'm not showing up at all."

The fingertips pressed against his lips and tracing their shape prompted the pilot to pucker them together and place a subtle kiss. He smirked, briefly suckling on one before turning his head away long enough to break that contact. “I’ll have you know, love, that I am not _always_ late. Just… Recently, things have been...” His lips pursed together in a sarcastic way as he quirked a brow at his lover. “Heated. In fact, I will bet you that I will actually be on time this morning.” 

That, of course, meant they would have to get up and get going. “You’ve got to head back to the barracks and get dressed, don’t you?” There was a significant drop of tone in the Commander’s voice at the thought of parting so soon from the redhead. “Unless you want to attend lessons wearing yesterday’s dirty clothes. Personally, I’d find that rather hot, but...” He chuckled, shaking his head. “I know you have a little more pride than that.”

Leaning in, Poe rubbed their noses together. “I don’t think there will be much wealth of knowledge to today’s lessons. My mind is kind of elsewhere at the moment.” He could already imagine how difficult it will be to keep his eyes off of Gavin during his lesson. “But I still fully expect you to be there. You have no excuse not to be.” Honestly, Poe was wishing more and more he just cancelled the day to be able to soak up more time with Hux. And that thought truly bothered him. He shouldn’t _want_ to secure more time with him. But he did.

“Mmmngh, fuck.” Sighing, the Rebel fighter rolled closer, his upper half covering Gavin’s and kissed him. It was a slow, passionate kiss. A parting gesture, really. Because the more time ticked on, the closer it came to their inevitable split. “You’re welcome to shower here again if you’d rather. I’ve only ever showered in the communal ones once before, and, uh, it wasn’t exactly to shower…”

Hux mumbled a few words that were wrapped in something close to jealousy under his breath and in a different language entirely upon thinking about what Dameron had been doing in communal showers. He wrapped his arms around the pilot’s shoulders and pulled him back down in a claiming kiss – ‘mine, only mine, no sharing’ it demanded as his tongue invaded the other man’s mouth.

Upon breaking the lock of lips, jade eyes raked over the other man’s face, scouring down it with a frosty glint deep inside of them. He was never good at sharing, never good at compromising when it came to things and people that he deemed were _his_. The General nipped at the Commander’s lips before lowering himself down and kissing over a mark that he had made the previous night in a reminder that it was there.

“I think I will take the offer of a shower. I hate communal areas. I hate that I have to always be careful about who sees what of me,” Gavin raised his scarred wrist to make his point before he sat up and moved so that his legs were hanging off the bedside. “On a lighter note, Flyboy, I have complete faith in your ability to be late and my own ability to find excuses to not make an appearance. But, anyway. A shower.”

It was almost as if seeing the scarred wrist brought a new thought pattern to the Commander’s mind. Darkened eyes slowly opened as he processed the offer he was seconds away from handing out. Jaw clenched, eyes shutting briefly in thought, the pilot sighed. Truly, it wasn’t as though he were about to offer his place for Gavin to move in to. It was a simple, friendly, comforting gesture, right? Not a selfish way to secure more time with his lover. Not a way to ensure no others saw him naked. Something he felt only he deserved.

“Shower here from now on.”

Charcoal eyes still retaining a spark of heat bore deep into the emerald orbs of his lover. It definitely was a valid suggestion. Gavin had secrets adorning his body that may cause him further harm if the wrong person discovered it. Poe couldn’t bear the thought of anyone looking at Hux like he was anything less than gorgeous. 

“I mean it. Every morning, every night. I don’t care. As long as I’m home, just come help yourself to the shower. If it saves you that discomfort in the communal ones, by all means. Be my guest.”

A tiny smile played over his lips as he pressed one last lingering peck to his lover’s mouth, then rolled away. Laying on his back, he rested one hand over his chest, the other he placed beneath his head. A lingering warmth tinted parts of his flesh with a pinkish hue as he replayed his offer to Hux over in his mind. No, it wasn’t anything definite. Friendly offer, that’s all…

It took a few seconds more of considering the offer for the ginger's mind to fully catch up with the idea presented to him. A knowing smile was drawn onto his face along with a happy spark in his eyes - he hated having to be around other people in general, but showering with them and hiding everything on his body that he didn't want others to know about was more of a hassle than Hux had patience for.

The General shifted around so that he could lean down and kiss the pilot's cheek, murmuring, "thank you, Love."

He sat back up, slowly standing and testing how his body felt and what it could take. With less grace and more hobble, Gavin made his way into the refresher. He purposely left the door open halfway - an invitation, if the Commander wanted to take it. He looked at his reflection, at the few marks that had been sucked into his skin, at the way his cheeks were still flushed.

He looked like a mess who would have gotten an instant write-up and constant mockings from his officers...or, well, those who were bold and stupid enough to do so.

The redhead flipped on the shower and stepped under the steamy spray, hands immediately raising to run through his hair and then wipe the water away from his face.

Smirking from the bed, Poe did absolutely nothing to contain his grin and mischievous eyes from taking in every expanse of pale skin visible to him. A tiny breath of a chuckle accompanied a shake of his head as he noticed the obvious discomfort he had given his lover; he couldn’t feel guilty, after all. Crimes of passion, right?

It was with his own pained groan did the Commander roll his way out of bed. His arms lifted high above his head as he stretched his body the best that he could, even lifting up onto tiptoes. The sound that ripped from inside him was borderline a yell before he finally hunched over, a lazy smirk plastered across his lips. 

Barefooted and nude, he padded his way into the refresher as well, having heard the water running from his bedroom. The steam was the first to greet him as he slipped in, remaining silent. He wasted no time in stepping into the shower behind his redheaded lover, smiling warmly at the sight of the water cascading down all around him. 

Hands gripping his waist, Poe tipped his head to the side and left a lingering nibble to the damp flesh on Hux’s neck. “So gorgeous…” He muttered, his voice barely louder than the constant pelting of the water drops being sprayed from the showerhead. Not willing to part from Hux’s slender build and intoxicating warmth quite yet, he flattened himself against the other male’s back, continuing with his playful nibbling.

For the most part, the ginger did nothing to acknowledge his lover's sudden appearance or the teasing nibbles that sent ripples of pleasure through him. He did, however, tilt his head to give Poe more room to work as well as hum his appreciation of the small bites. He reached over to the shampoo, squeezing some into his hand before cocking his head so that he could lather his wet hair without disrupting the pilot's actions.

Hux pressed backward against shorter male, forcing both of them back a step so that he could easily rinse out his hair. He would love nothing more than to stay locked to the Commander for the remainder of the day. However, he needed to get back to the barracks before too many people woke up and noticed him sneaking in to change clothes. That's not really a discussion he wanted to have with anyone, just yet...if ever.

Gavin turned in his lover's hold once he picked up the soap and sudded up his hands. He slowly washed Dameron's chest, shy smile flashing as he glanced between dark eyes and what his own, milky hands were doing. He reached over to the shampoo, again, and started to massage his fingers in the dark curls before him. The redhead alternated between long, combing stroke and gentle tugs and scratches as he lathered and then rinsed the other's hair.

The silence that had fallen between them was far from awkward or tense. No, it was a rather comfortable sort of silence, like a blanket wrapped around the two lovers. Poe’s lips maintained a warm, faint hint of a smile as Gavin proceeded to wash him, refusing to unwrap his hands from the slender hips. Even as water cascaded all around them, the Rebel fighter kept a loving gaze on the male he had in his shower, absolutely soaking up as much of the comforting caresses that he could. 

With both of them clean, the General looped his arms over Poe's shoulders and simply gazed at him, swaying them back and forth slightly in an odd dance that seemed much more intimate than the fiery one that started all of this. "Bòidheach. Beautiful."

“Que lindo…” Licking his lips, tasting the damp droplets covering them from the showerhead, Poe tipped his head to the side and pressed a gentle kiss to the redhead’s mouth. “Si cierro los ojos y vuelvo a abrirlos, vas a estar todavía?”

A sturdy palm cupped a side of Hux’s face as he drew him in even closer, their lips barely ghosting above the others. “Cariño,” the Commander made sure to roll his ‘r’ in a sensual way, feeling his body heating from within once again. This time as he moved their lips together, the subtle wet smacking sounds getting lost under the stream of water, he took the opportunity to dip his tongue into his lover’s mouth. 

He wasn’t aiming to initiate another heated moment, even if the thought of lifting his partner against the wall and fucking him into the tiles was more than arousing. But he just needed a little bit more time with him. His other hand began to rub up and down the pale chest, pinked slightly from the heat of the water and the surrounding steam.

Hux shivered under his lover's touch as he accepted Poe's gentle kiss. His warning system was completely offline and silent as he lost himself in he soft caress of tongue and hand. When they parted, the world seemed to shift into place - trillions upon trillions of possibilities, and only one solution. 

"Tha thu an fhreagairt, nach eil? Tha thu an-còmhnaidh air a bhith," the ginger murmured quietly, too afraid that breaking the silence would send the world around them back into motion and part them again too soon. "An dèidh a h-uile càil...tha e thu."

They parted, but only just, and the warm blanket of steam and tender passion fell over them once more. Hux tilted his head and studied the Commander once more - he was calm, now. The tension that normally clung to him washed away. In its place was a confident energy and a seeming need for closeness and contact. The way his eyes gazed at the General had changed as well, but he couldn't quite place how.

All in all, the pilot's transition was not that different from his own. Sorrow embraced Gavin like a snake coils around its prey on a normal basis. His past was ghosts that played on the edges of his vision. His cold exterior was so well in place that he wasn't sure how much of it was a rouse and how much of it was a reflection of what he had become.

And all of that was gone - spiraling down the drain, as he kept close to his mentor. "Now you've done it, Dameron." He shook his head and turned off the water, pressing a lingering kiss against soft lips before reluctantly pulling away and setting everything back into motion. "Feumaidh tu rium cùram dhuibh."

Disappointment washed over the pilot’s body in buckets, worse than the water that fell from the showerhead before it was cut off. His lips still held a slight pucker to them even once Gavin had pulled back, causing him to huff in a slight pout. Waiting until his lover had stepped from the shower, Poe followed after, reaching for a still slightly damp towel crumpled up in a messy ball in the corner on the floor. “What have I done, love?” 

Dameron turned and leaned back against the small countertop in the refresher; one leg crossed in front of the other, hooking at the angle, as he ran the towel up and down tanned arms before drying his toned chest. “I have been accused of doing many things in my life. You’ll have to be a bit more specific than that.”

He chuckled lowly as the towel lifted to tousle saturated dark curls. His gaze remained locked on the slender form of his lover, watching his every move with interest. Before too long, they will be forced to take their separate paths. Poe surely couldn’t follow behind Gavin on his way back to the barracks like some love sick puppy. Instead, he’d be expected to walk into the conference hall, chin held high and proud, pretending nothing had transpired throughout the night.

How could he go through an entire lesson without shooting on look of longing towards the redhead’s direction? Make it through a string of sentences without the image of them tangled together in a heated liplock blazing through his mind? This certainly would become a test of endurance and dedication for the Commander; perhaps that was Organa’s main plan all along…

"Accusations often hold a grain of truth," Hux answered, using cryptic words as a placeholder for the truth. He toweled himself off slower than the pilot, not in as much of a rush as he thought he would be, given the circumstances. He was balanced on a precipice, stuck between the want to shrink away, re-gather himself, and stalk the halls as he did before and the desperate urge to stay where he was and soak in the warmth that radiated from Dameron.

Gavin had to leave and he knew it. Not forever. But he needed to get back, get dressed, and face his lover again in a different role of characters. He finished drying himself and wrapped the damp towel around his waist, tying it off at his hip and facing the Commander directly. Already his back was beginning to straighten again. Already his expression was starting to cool. Already his persona was taking back over.

"What have you done, Flyboy? The impossible. Rather, the implausible," the lilting accent played on the words, teased the letters and the pauses between each. The ginger sauntered closer to the man drawn in gold and black. He pressed a kiss to Dameron's cheek before whispering. "You - you annoying, cocky, complicated man - have made me care for you."

“Dawww,” though his smirk held a heat to it that radiated into deep, dark eyes, the Commander’s voice was nothing short of teasing and nearly ‘sing-songy’. “Someone’s got a crush~.” With a low chuckle, Poe reached forward to hook his finger in the tightly wrapped towel and gave it a slight tug to pull the recruit even closer to him. “You like~ me,” but the pilot’s teasing didn’t last too terribly long. Right before his very eyes, he could see the defenses being rebuilt up around his lover and it made his smile drift away. 

Dameron knew that it was nothing personal. He knew, deep inside him somewhere, that the subtle straightening of the slender back and the hardening of alluring jade eyes was just a defense mechanism to protect himself from the outside world. Hux, as Poe was beginning to figure out, was returning. The persona he knew before and would surely see soon enough wasn’t Gavin. It wasn’t his lover. Same body, same heart, same mind, same everything. But entirely different at the same time.

“Ey,” the playful edge to Poe’s voice was wholly gone by now as he dropped his towel to the ground. The fabric bunched up at his feet, going ignored as he stood there, fully nude. “I’ll miss you, kid.” Though the corner of his lips twitched up into a tiny, faint hint of a smile, Poe took a deep, promising look into Gavin’s eyes before they glossed over with distaste once again. 

The moment had to be broken though, or Poe would completely ignore his duties for the day and gladly spend it with tangled limbs and swollen lips with his lover. So he winked at the slightly taller, thinner male he had in front of him and pecked a quick kiss to his lips. “You better show up in my class. Final warning.”

Green eyes rolled as Hux sauntered out of the refresher and back into the bedroom to collect his crumpled clothes. He knew for certain that making an appearance in the lecture was only going to lead to another round of competition and snapping at one another until something gives. After all, a General would never bow to a Commander, and a Rebel would never willingly kneel to the First Order.

It was an odd tango they found themselves in - heated at different moments of the song for varying reasons, their hold keeping them close both because they did not want to part and also because giving one another too much room meant that they could draw their weapons. But, again, like a dance, it only took a step and a twirl to change everything and send them in a new direction.

Gavin dressed methodically, one piece after the other. Routine. Militant. His shoulders rolled and straightened completely. He threw a glance in the general direction of where the pilot had yet to appear from. With a final exhale, he stated, "If I am there, Flyboy, I'll make sure to pay the _utmost_ attention and judge your oratory skills against my own. If I'm not, well, consider it your 'get out of jail free' card."

That was how he said goodbye, with a snide remark and a hidden smirk. He slowly made his way to the door, glancing back once more before righting his walk as best he could and slipping into the hallway. He didn't catch the look that General Organa gave him on her way to her own office, nor did he see her smile. He was too busy with his own thoughts to actually focus on anything that was not directly in front of him.

Having been rummaging through his small medicine cabinet for his shaving items, Poe did not hear the door to his quarters slide open, or shut. He let out a soft laugh, his dark eyes rolling at the get out of jail free card. “You’ll need a little more than a card to get yourself out of trouble if you don’t show up,” the Rebel pilot called out his response, not realizing he was talking to thin air at this point. “It wouldn’t kill you, you know. To just give me _one_ shining moment. Right? You realize that?” 

The dark-haired male kept talking on as he loaded his face up with shaving cream, the water now trickling steadily from the faucet. “Gav? You alive out there?” He chuckled lowly, giving his cheek one good swipe with the razor. “C’mon… I can’t be _that_ boring.” After the second swipe, he frowned, wondering why he was getting no response. Walking out of the refresher, still nude, Poe became concerned when he didn’t immediately see him. But upon finding Hux's clothes and shoes gone, it dawned on him that he was alone. “Well, bye…” He sighed, having hoped to have at least gotten one last kiss goodbye before his lover took his leave.

The rest of the morning seemed to drag on as Poe was torn between feeling entirely way too elated and high on life at the thought of how he spent his night, and utterly broken down and empty now that he was alone once again. With the silence consuming him with every breath, every throb of his heart, Poe’s mind began to switch back and forth. Was the silence definite? Was it a temporary lull? How come it felt like a heavier weight upon his chest than it ever did before?

He rolled his eyes at the thought, not realizing he was moving perhaps a bit slower than he should have been. But finally, the Commander had himself dressed rather nicely, especially compared to how he had been coming to his lessons the past few times. Hair slicked back in a semi-styled way, clean clothes that matched decently well, even a few splashes of a cologne he rarely wore. 

Taking his leave, Dameron had a little bit of an extra bounce in his step. His lips curled up into a smile at those he passed by; a thing that had not happened in quite a while, honestly. And he didn’t feel annoyance towards having to spend a good majority of his day training a group of misfits he already knew he didn’t want on his squadron. Well, perhaps with the exception of one.

As he had gotten ready, Poe gave a lot of thought into what date he would bring his already-lover onto for their first date. A few ideas how bounced around in his mind, finding the silence and solitude actually useful this time around. But after focusing on something Gavin had said to him during their time together, he finally settled on what he hoped to be something fun for the both of them, and nothing too lame.

“Good morning,” the instructor spoke out to his class as he breezed right past them, eyes lowered, afraid of how he would handle spotting Hux quite yet. He walked around the large table where the group had already collected around, not paying attention to the fact that he was, yet again, late. He figured he would hear it from the redhead later on, but for now, it didn’t matter.


	22. Pushing Boundaries

The ginger desperately tried to be surprised that he had managed to traverse the base, get dressed, and still be the first person in the conference room, but, frankly, at this point he had no exceptions of professionalism left for the wannabe Resistance members. He found a seat tucked in the far corner of the room on the opposite side of the table as the presentation area. He watched as each recruit walked in, some still half asleep and with their clothes inside out. Most of them had blank expressions as they lumbered to a seat.

And then there was Rico.

The brunette bounced into the room and over to Hux like he had just gotten an IV full of espresso. He beamed at the General and started asking all sorts of questions about where he had been and what he was doing and how he was doing and why he was shifting around in his seat and-- Force, Gavin was happy when Poe _finally_ made an appearance, even if the man kept his eyes down during his entire greeting.

A nudge to his side cause green eyes to lock on his companion. "You two still battling it out?"

"We're about to find out."

"You know you two are, like, the talk of the squad, right? All last night we were talkin' about which one of you would--"

"I don't lose," the redhead cut off the other man, who smiled even wider and rolled his chair closer to throw an arm around Hux's shoulders.

"There's the man I know!"

Rico’s sudden loud outburst not only gained the attention of those around them, but also of the older male attempting to begin his lessons. Turning, he already had a slight scowl resting upon his lips, not liking the loudmouthed, overly clingy recruit to begin with. But to see the closeness that Rico had fell into, with his arm slung so casually over his lover’s shoulders surged a new type of heat within the Commander; pure jealousy. 

Words drifted off to silence as darkened eyes flashed black for a moment as they connected with the green pair he had spent so much time staring into recently. Silently, he shot Hux an ‘Are you fucking kidding me?’ look, his eyes narrowing briefly in the process. 

It bothered him to see Gavin had no concerns about it at all. Sure, he had mention previously that he felt no feelings towards the outgoing recruit, but Poe didn’t quite feel comfortable with the entire situation. Just because Hux admitted to no feelings didn’t mean the other in the equation felt the same. And who knew. One thing could lead to another... As far as Poe knew, the redhead hated him. Now look where they were.

“Sir, you were telling us about your mission?”

Nostrils flaring, Poe flashed Hux a warning look - ‘Fix this. Now.’ - before turning his back to the recruits all together. He tried to lose himself in his story, wanting to sound fully intrigued and proud with his tale. But it felt as though fire were boring through his skull; Rico. He knew it had to be. Daring to turn around, Poe found the other male still pressed tightly against his lover and his words drifted off to silence once again.

The look Hux gave back to the pilot was nothing short of 'Are you kidding me?' followed by a roll of his eyes to say 'Grow up.' With a pointed glance, Hux put a smile on his face and softly whispered to Rio, "Shove over, you've got me pinned to a wall and if there's a fire, I'm not dying because you trapped me."

The brunette laughed, shaking the ginger gently and eventually acquiescing to the whispered command. He kept his hand on the back of Gavin's seat, however, and the General was willing to let that slide until he received another look from Poe and swiveled his chair away. He glared at the Commander - 'Fucking happy?'

Arms crossed in an almost childish way as the strategist tilted his head to listen to the story presented to the class. He wasn't meaning to rile Dameron in any way, rather he was simply going on as he had before. It was simple thinking - if he suddenly changed the way he acted, people would notice. If he stayed constant and snippy and tolerant, but not necessarily accepting, well, people expected no less. Still, he felt bad enough to avert his eyes for a moment in apology before something clicked. 

As the smirk that Hux was known for suddenly twisted into a grin, he raised his hand, which immediately had a few of the recruits snickering around him in anticipation. "Sir, quick question regarding your mission. Was the delay in your return necessary or were you just late for that as well?"

The look that overtook the Commander’s features had no proper emotion etched in it; his eyes flashed darker with mocked anger, his lip struggled between pinching up into a snarl and turning downward into a frown. He knew, somewhere deep inside, he honestly knew, that they would have to keep up appearances if they were to keep this little fling between them a secret. But at the same time, Poe didn’t want this. He didn’t want to be made to look a fool in front of _any_ body, especially not at the tongue of his own lover. He could challenge it, yes. Turn it against Hux and attack him verbally with a personal low blow. Or he could handle it with a little more dignity and take one step above the redhead. 

Or he could just ignore it fully. Good idea.

“Cute.” Eyes flashing dark once more, they narrowed on the green orbs he found staring back at him. There was a hint of challenging in both of their gazes, so Poe decided to break the connection without further prompting the recruit to attack again.

“There was an attack, actually. We don’t know if the attacker knew that the deal would be taking place that day, or if it was solely pure coincidence. Our contact did not recognize the one who attacked, nor did I. While he lost a good majority of our stock, luckily the items we managed to salvage were the more important of the lot anyways. But, you’re right, Hux. I _was_ late on my return.” Oh no, here comes the sarcasm. Turning back around to face his lover, Poe locked gazes with him once more. “Perhaps next time, I won’t fight so hard to save my life if I know I will be returning to base a tad bit late.” 

And there’s the low blow. So much for being more mature and handling things with more dignity.

Hux's sneer dropped completely, his features icing over and then becoming blank as he mulls over response options. The mature thing would be to drop it. The right thing would be to apologize. The strategic thing, from the standpoint of the Order, would be to break the Commander. The ginger decided to do a mix of all three: drop it by changing subjects, push harder, and apologize later.

"And here I thought it was because your 'custom' X-Wing finally broke down or because you didn't stop for directions." Well, perhaps maturity and professionalism had nothing to do with it. The scathing remark he had received from Poe struck him and his defenses shot back into place.

If it wasn't for the fact that both parties were actually growing upset, Gavin would have told himself that their bickering was an odd form of foreplay. Almost a role play that no one else in the room would understand. But _this_ was not _that_. No. This was two people in positions of power clashing and fighting for their own forms of order. It was a mockery of the battle raging in a different star system and neither side was willing to back down.

The ginger tried to force his pride to the back of his mind as his gaze softened in a way that only the pilot would be able to notice. 'Don't do this,' it warned, but it didn't have heat behind it. Jade eyes shifted away, suddenly as Rico shifted in his seat and bumped the redhead's own chair. The slight shift caused him to fidget.

When the General looked back at his lover, his gaze held less ice and more teasing, as if the reminder of _why_ he was sore clicked him out of his persona and back into himself. "Do carry on, Sir. Your speech so far has been riveting." The words hung in the air as a challenge and a jest as Hux picked up the notebook and pen he found-stole in the room before anyone else joined him around the conference table.

Licking his lips, Poe truly had to calculate how he wanted to respond; of course, the proud Commander inside wanted him to retaliate and demand respect, but the lovesick puppy aching for Gavin’s comforting arms and tender kisses wanted him to backtrack and ignore the original jest. But not wanting Hux to think he could get away with speaking down to him in front of his peers, the pride won.

“Actually, _recruit_ , you should have been the first to know that my Fighter has far more than enough work behind it to prevent such a thing.” The sass was strong in his tone as one hand rested on his hip, the other side pushed out in a particular kind of stance. “And I do believe I am capable of inputting a string of coordinates that I could recite backwards, _in my sleep_ , and not get myself lost. Thank you for your input, recruit. Any further questions can, _and will_ have to wait until after today’s lessons. Thank you.”

This time, there was much more bitterness to the dark-haired lover’s words. His cheeks flared up with a subtle redness indicating the embarrassment he felt, but he decided not to dwell on it as he turned his back to continue with the questions being fired in his direction from the smug, snickering recruits. A conversation would have to be held eventually with Gavin; they needed to establish boundaries, know when and when not to poke and prod. Poe’s pride was too important to him to feel comfortable with his own partner putting him in the spotlight like that.

The Rebel pilot’s mood dropped significantly after that, even with the thought of their date still lingering in the back of his mind. He held onto that thought, trying to convince himself that this was nothing personal, just normal, everyday banter that they had already established between the two of them from the very beginning. But with everything that had transpired throughout the night, Dameron held onto a tiny bit of hope that maybe it would have diminished as the flame of passion grew stronger instead.

The paler lover stayed silent as Poe picked up the lesson, his energy wavering and then caving. Hux opened the journal writing out a fake grading report.

[Speaker: Poe Dameron  
Topic: Fuck if I'm paying attention  
Results:

Eye contact: too much, check me out one more time, Flyboy, and people across the galaxy will know there's something going on.

Timing: Late to class. Late to speak. Late to react to taunts.

Content: Darling, if I had a credit for every time you changed subjects, I'd retire to my summer home on the beach and buy my own pilot to fly me around.

Conclusion: Keep your day job. And your night one.]

He crossed out a few of his more cruel comments before turning the page and starting to write out another message for the pilot. Gavin moved his seat backward and away from anyone who may be able to see what he had planned. As he caught the man's eyes again, the General raised his paper, the words 'STOP IT' were written across it in multiple strokes of his pen.

He didn't want to bicker in a way that was anything other than teasing, but the Commander and the General were both beings of pride. When one was pushed, the other shoved back. Hux dropped his sign with a sassy smile as Rico scooted back closer to him. The ginger kept more distance between them, now, but didn't openly shove him away, either.

“And _that_ is why you never believe someone when they say you can’t effectively disarm someone with only a broken seatbelt strap.”

Wide eyes filled to the brim with awe watched every step the instructor took. If he stepped to the left, heads turned to the left. If he stepped to the right, heads turned to the right. Poe fed off of their attention, finding his actions becoming much more animated at more at ease with himself. He even dared himself a glance or two, or twenty, in his lover’s direction, wondering what had him so utterly enthralled with the pad of paper.

When his dark eyes flicked towards the back of the conference hall once again, he saw the redhead holding up the aforementioned pad of paper. His gaze narrowed slightly as the sketched words ‘STOP IT’ focused. Smirking, the pilot felt his cheeks flushing a deep, noticeable shade of red, forcing him to turn his head away with a shy smile. ‘Shut up’ was mouthed in the recruit's direction before Poe turned around completely. This was much better; this playful bickering. It made Poe feel much more at ease with the entire situation, and he mentally reprimanded himself for taking things so personally earlier. He should have known, honestly. One night of great sex did not mean natural personalities would suddenly change. He made himself a mental note to apologize later during their evening for how he reacted.

“I think that just about wraps things up for today. What do you think? Should we do some actual in air lessons tomorrow? Do you all want a break for the day? I feel like we should almost start fresh, take a day and get back at it the next with fresh minds. Yeah?”

The group collective began to discuss, the focus now taken off the instructor. Poe used the moment to look past all of them to catch his lover’s eye, giving him a very short, playful wink; a day without lessons meant a full day he could spend getting to know this feisty, filled-to-the-brim-with-sarcasm lover.

The ginger responded with a roll of his eyes and a small smile. The people around him all excitedly discussed the prospect of being airborne as well as the idea of being able to sleep in and simply explore the base. Hux shrugged and teased anyone who talked to him about the prospect of a day off or the fact that he, again, was willing to take on their instructor and walk away unscathed.

The decision was unanimous - a day off and then actual time in the skies with the one and only Poe Dameron. As everyone filed out, Hux feigned almost forgetting the journal that just recently started belonging to him. The goodbye he gave to his brunette shadow was apparently not enough as the man wrapped the redhead up into a tight hug that was more crushing than comforting. When he could finally pry himself free, Gavin slipped back into the conference room, shooting a small smirk to the pilot as the last few recruits made their way out.

The General waited for the door to close before slowly approaching his lover. Pale fingers ghosted over the top of the large table, tracing the smooth surface as he drew nearer and nearer. He paused to take a seat on the edge of the table, the back of his knees barely brushing it as his feet dangled over the edge.

He tore out his report as soon as Poe made a movement toward him. "I graded your speech, gave you a few pointers. You know, from a professional to an up and coming orator."

For the time being, Poe was willing to overlook the little mishap they experienced earlier, just glad to finally be alone with his lover once again. But Gavin did not finish approaching him, did not make any indication whatsoever about wanting a kiss, a hug, or even a simple touch. So he simply stopped walking in front of him and folded his arms over his chest. Brow quirked, he glanced down at the sheet of paper, “so _that_ is what held your attention so damn much. Figured you were writing out love notes with your other little boyfriend over there.” Even though his tone had a playful bite to it, the truth behind the words was strict jealousy; his gaze did not skip over the second round of closeness Rico felt was necessary before the class was dismissed.

“Well, let’s see here…” Clearing his throat, Poe reached forward and snatched up the paper, holding it up in front of his face. “Mmhm. Uh huh… Uh huh, right… Right…” He muttered with sarcasm as he scanned over the writing Hux had jotted down on the paper. His brow furrowed as he looked over the scribbled on parts, trying to determine the lettering behind the scratches. “Cute, real cute, pendejo,” the Commander rolled his eyes, lowering the paper to reveal a smirk.

Letting the paper drift out of his grip and back onto the table, Dameron folded his arms over his chest once again. His brow lifted in an unamused way and his head tilted to the side. “Right, so… It’s a good thing I canceled lessons for tomorrow, hm? So you won’t have to listen to my changing of the subjects.” His lips pursed together, resisting the urge to lean in and kiss the redhead on the lips. “And, by the way. I held a damn good conversation with you long after you left this morning. Thanks for the heads up,” he chuckled lowly, leaning back slightly as he put a tad bit more distance in between them.

Hux reached out, a pale hand curling in the collar of Poe's shirt to pull him forward, instead, to stand between the ginger's legs. "How sweet of you - talking to an imagined version of myself." He shrugged in a noncommittal fashion, brushing off the annoyance he heard under the other man's words. "And maybe it was a good thing you cancelled lessons for tomorrow. I rather like the idea of neither of us making an appearance anywhere."

Gavin shifted, leaning up to press a kiss to Dameron's lips. He kept it soft and closed mouthed for the time being, pulling back almost as soon as he pushed forward. "Did you know the recruits are practically taking bets on us? Who will win this fight, who will win the next?" He chuckled. "Or at least Rico said they were talking as such." A long pause led to another kiss. "You don't have to worry about him. Let him hang off me, if he must. It's just his personality." One that would have gotten him shot on the Finalizer. Here, though, he assumed that would have been frowned upon and would get him more than a little attention. The next press of lips he gave to the Commander was much less innocent and much more suggestive. He couldn't get enough of the man and, while that weighed heavily on his mind and concerned him, he couldn't find it in him to care. The ginger broke away. "What are our plans? I know I'm free, since recruits do nothing around here. I'd like to change before our date, though."

“Mmmm…” The kisses were quick to erase the pilot’s mind to the point of blissful happiness. He smiled against the other male’s lips leaning forward with him as Gavin tried to lean back. “Just dress comfortably for tonight. I’ve got some ideas in mind.” Hands now anchoring against Hux’s waist, Poe tipped his head to the side in search for another kiss, this time moving their lips together with a slow pace. A soft grunt is what broke the moment this time, though Poe kept the closeness. 

Moving his lips towards Hux’s ear, a warm gust of breath covered the sensitive skin. “Why do you do that to me, love?” The dark-haired male half whispered, his voice deeper and gravely. “¿Por qué insiste en empujar mis límites?” With a soft sigh, he kissed the outer shell, then nipped at the earlobe, enjoying the way his lover’s blush crept down his flesh.

“C’mon. Let’s go do lunch. Kind of missed out on breakfast this morning,” he chuckled, stepping even further away from the redhead sitting on the edge of the table. As much as he wanted to push him down, crawl on top, and initiate them in a heated make out right there in the conference room, Poe kept it together; there’d be plenty of time later on in the evening to seek his revenge on how Gavin spoke to him during the lesson.

"I can do lunch," The ginger responded as he slipped from the table and picked up the fake grading rubric he made. He folded it a few times before stepping close enough to tuck it into the pilot's pocket. "Just for future reference," he explained, looking down at the shorter man, now that they were standing toe to toe.

Green eyes dropped to Poe's mouth a moment before the General turned and strode away, throwing a smirk over his shoulder. "I'll come torment you over lunch, Love, but I have a few things I need to attend to first." With that, once again, Hux left the Commander with a little swish of his hips as he turned down the hall. He was already behind on his reports to Snoke. Missing out on an entire day of relaying information would only lead to a sharp pain in his skull and a growling voice demanding he do his job properly.

Gavin found himself tucked away in a small cranny that was isolated from the rest of the base. He made quick notes about what to say and what not to say before he turned on his comm and passed on the information he deemed necessary through the encrypted link. He stayed there - in the dark and away from the rest of the world - for a few moments more, simply collecting his thoughts and his motivations - reminding himself exactly who he was and where he came from - before retracing his steps and trudging his way to the cafeteria.

***

A smirk glued to his lips, Poe leaned up against the conference table, still, and chuckled, giving his head a small shake. “Damn, doll…” The muttered words fell into silence as he was left alone in the conference hall; the image of swaying, slender hips replaying over and over in his mind. Taking his time to gather the few belongings he brought in with him, Poe finally took his leave. A part of him had hoped Gavin would be waiting outside the room to pounce on him, so his smirk faded just a tad to see the corridor empty. Nevertheless, he just could not wipe the smug look off his face, even as he filed into the cafeteria with a good majority of people surrounding him.

“Well, well, well….”

Poe knew that rumbling voice very well, and he instantly felt a surge of guilt.

“Rhys, I’ve been meaning to come find you.”

It was a lie, obviously. Poe’s mind had been rather consumed on a certain someone else. Even so, as he felt the heavy hand clap against his shoulder in a friendly manner, Poe honestly felt bad. The look of major concern and worry in his long time best friend’s eyes reminded the Rebel Commander of his swift return and instant seclusion. 

“C’mon, Dameron. We already got a table going.”

Not even able to wait and gather any food for himself, Poe was directed over to a table against a wall with five other pilots chatting around. Giving his greetings, Poe sat directly beside Rhys and was instantly pulled in so they were forehead to forehead.

“You’d tell me, yeah? I mean it, Dameron. I don’t pester to be annoying, and _you_ know that. You know--"

“Rhys, please… I’m clean.”

The burly male sighed and leaned back some, though not far enough that anyone near would hear their private conversation. “You came back in such a shit mood. Disappear. Seclude yourself. And now you’re all smiles? Chin up? The hell you want me to think, huh?”

It wasn’t like Poe could be honest and admit to how he spent his evening. He fully understood Rhys’ concern. The addiction came with severe mood swings. One second he felt like he was on top of the world, the next, he felt like the entire world was on top of him. There was no happy medium. No in betweens. No grey spaces. 

“Ey, I promise. Nothing happened while I was gone, alright? I’m not that fuckin’ stupid, man. You know how long it’s been.”

Rhys sighed, his shoulders hunching forward. “I just care, alright?”

***

It took a total of three seconds for Hux to completely lose his appetite when he entered the mess hall. He curled a lip and made his way from anything that all resembled food. He didn't even bother with looking at things he could recognize, he wasn't willing to lower himself to any of it.

Someone grabbed him from behind and, for a moment, the ginger worried that Poe had decided to give up any pretend boundaries they had between them. Those thoughts left his head as quickly as they entered when his gaze fell on the pilot and Rhys locked in a close conversation. Green eyes rolled, who else would be stupid enough to just walk up and touch him?

"Rico, it would seem like you missed me or something," he teased, but his voice was clipped.

"Well, yeah!" Came the response. "You keep vanishing, man! All of us wanna talk to you and you're never there!"

"I leave for one night and the world ends?"

"Well, nothing so dramatic, but, yeah, basically," the brunette chuckles as he finally relents in his hold. "You're our fearless leader, ya know? And, man, _again_?"

Gavin tuned him out after that, giving feedback like grunts and repeated words to keep the other recruit interested and at bay. When he was suddenly dragged sideways, he hissed, but ultimately rolled with the motion and stayed on his feet. The table he was steered to was full of idle chatter and Rico pulled his chair a few inches too close to his own before striking up another conversation.

"So, tell me, how do you do it? How do you just, I dunno, wake up and take control of everyone? I mean, people just sorta flock to you. Why are you even a pilot? You could be a high ranker. Like a Gen--"

"Red!" Hux was almost glad to hear Rhys shout his nickname from across the hall.

"Oh, no. So sorry. Will answer later," Hux stated as his farewell before wandering over to the table of pilots, casting a final glance behind him as he slipped away.


	23. Once Upon a Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> 
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> ...And upload on time.

Poe wanted to focus on his friend. He wanted to give him that friendly attention he deserved. Rhys had always been there for him, no matter what shit storm was attacking him at the time. But as soon as he caught a flash of bright reddish-orange hair in his peripheral vision, all focus drained away from the other pilot as Poe half-watched Hux from the corner of his eye. 

Clenching his fist, it was too difficult for Poe to wipe the scowl off his lips. Rico… Rico with the touching, and the hugging, and the closeness. 'He’s not your problem, Poe…' The pilot tried to remind himself that if Gavin found friendship in Rico, that was his personal choice that he would learn to respect. Didn’t mean it kept the images of beating the brunette’s face bloody from reaching his mind. 

Rhys was quick to catch on to where Poe’s attention had gone to and he sighed, rolling his eyes. He was getting fed up with the bickering and rivalry that surged between the two Rebels and vowed to put a stop to it, no matter what it took. The burly male had to chuckle in spite of himself at the face Poe made when he called Gavin over, not straying his eyes as the redhead approached.

“So you decided to finally grace us with your presence,” Poe was quick to jab, his eyes locked on his lover’s face with warmth, his lips twitching up into a smile. A quick glance behind his recruit showed a very confused looking Rico gazing their way, and boy did Poe want nothing more than to tug Hux in for a deep kiss, just to piss the other recruit off indefinitely.

"I'm glad you've finally accepted my presence as something you have to _earn_ , Dameron. We're finally starting to see eye to eye," there was a joke in there somewhere - a little wink and nudge regarding what had already shifted between them. "Maybe you can teach an old dog new tricks."

Despite the words, Hux's tone was playful and devoid of any kind of true intent, which seemed to give Rhys pause, if the bewildered expression he was desperately trying to hide said anything. The ginger took an open seat across from his mentor and tangled their legs together under the table and out of everyone's sight. He shot a mock glare at Dameron before turning his gaze to the other pilot when the man spoke.

"Are you actually showing up to your lessons, then? I swear, Poe, this kid's like a fox - a damn trickster. I'd look up and he'd either suddenly appear or suddenly disappear," Rhys complained, but in an kind, stern way. Gavin glanced down and then back to his curly haired lover with a shrug as the other man continued. "I didn't see him half the time you were gone. I mean, I looked and he just wasn't anywhere."

Another shrug, "Oops. I must have gotten lost somewhere between boredom and apathy." A swift kick to one of his legs brought a scowl to the General's face. He sighed, turning to face the stocky man, "my apologies, Commander. It was unprofessional." With another smirk, he changed subjects away from previous classes and back to the present. "Shall I excuse myself back to the recruit table, Sirs? I did leave in the middle of a conversation with a friend, and I do hate to leave people with baited breath or left with no one but themselves to talk to."

‘Careful, Dameron… Your reactions right now could very much make or break you. He’s simply returning your playful jab with his own, nothing more. And look, now Rhys is curious…’ It is _never_ good when Rhys gets an idea in his mind. He makes it his sole mission to ensure whatever idea is formulating in his mind becomes a reality. Every time. Without fail. Shifting where he sat, giving his lower half a bit of a teasing wiggle, Poe very subtly, very quickly winked at his lover, teasing him for the discomfort he felt as an aftermath of their heated evening. Otherwise, he leaned back, one elbow resting on the back of the chair, the other crossed over in front of his body in a casual, ‘I really don’t care’ stance. But beneath the table his foot twisted and twirled around Hux’s in a very childish game of footsy. 

The jab, however, about leaving someone to speak to himself caused the corner of Poe’s lip to twitch up into a smug grin. “Don’t worry, love. You’re—“ licking his lips, Poe felt his face flush with heat at the slip up of the pet name and he cleared his throat, praying, though know it was futile, that Rhys did not catch on. “You’re free to go.”

It’s not what he wanted to say. Force, it was the _exact opposite_ of what was supposed to come from his lips, but with the warning lights flashing in his mind like a strobe and the alarms throbbing in rhythm, Poe panicked. Greatly. If Rhys so much as thought of the idea of him and Gavin being together, regardless of if they were, then they would never secure a chance for themselves to properly get to know the other. No, they had to keep things on the down low, for now. Last thing either of them truly needed with the fresh start of a new relationship that was already coming out of a stressful point would be for the entire base to get involved with their lives.

Hux's shoulders stiffened when the affectionate term fell from Poe's lips and he quickly acted to counteract the look that was starting to blossom on Rhys face the longer that he sat there. With a put on sneer and an air of holier-than-thou, the ginger replied. "Thanks, Darling, it's always _such_ a pleasure dealing with the Great Dameron. Really, I'm honored. I'll go back to my table of commoners, now. I wouldn't want to sully your perfection."

With a barely concealed hiss at having to rise so quickly, the ginger stalked away from his lover and took his seat back with the other recruits, who instantly swarmed him with questions about the nature of the conversation and whether or not their Commander was upset with him or going to punish him. He responded coolly that having to be around the man was punishment enough, which got a few chuckles from the people who were intelligent enough to understand his jest and some scowls from the pilot's fans.

Little did they know.

Rico's arm fell across the back of Gavin's chair like a claim and it was all that he could do not to throw it off and put the recruit in his place. He diverted his attention by switching away from anything remotely related to Poe. "So, come on, everyone be honest, what's the latest gossip?" Hux hardly listened as they talked about relationships and breakups, didn't care less when they whispered about arguments and new rivalries. Useless information. Boring. Unhelpful. So the recruits would only be good as coverage and a mask, fine. He could sweet talk other higher ups for information. He made a mental note and let static fill his mind.

The longer dark eyes stared at the arm slung so casually across the back of his lover’s chair, the harder Poe's knee began to bounce up and down in an annoyed, ticked off manner. “S’cuse me,” he mumbled, completely cutting Rhys off mid-sentence, not even knowing what he was currently speaking of to begin with. Standing, Poe made his way towards the line waiting to collect food but took a bit of the long way around, purposely, to step up behind Rico’s chair. Giving his throat a brief clearing, strong arms folded over a toned chest, noting the way all the recruits fell into silence.

“Rico,” Dameron spoke out, purposely rolling the ‘r’ just to mess with Hux. “Rico, Rico, Rico. I’ve got a special task for you, follow me.” 

Charcoal orbs filling with heat once more, though this time out of anger and jealously, Poe waited until the lighter haired brunette stood and led him away from curious ears. “Rico…” Breathing in deeply, the Commander held his breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. Hatred. That’s all he felt towards the younger pilot standing beside him in line. Poe grabbed a tray, moving down the row and adding assorted items to his collection.

“Tomorrow, with everyone having free time. I’ve picked you to tackle a special project.” He knew Rico would not be able to say no to him, so he thought of a good way to get even with him for all the touching and hugging and general annoyingness he held to him. “My workspace in the hangar. Very messy. Be a doll and organize, clean, and ready it for me, will ya?” Turning to face him, he held a very snarky smile on his lips and patted the recruit’s cheek. “Perfect. Enjoy your day off.”

Stepping away from him, tray in hand, Poe bypassed the place to pay, knowing his tab would get taken care of one way or another. He walked past his lover without so much as a smirk and returned to his spot with Rhys, who gazed down at the overly stuffed tray. 

“Do you even know what all you picked out?” 

Again, another point against him. After coming down from a high, Poe consumed just about every edible morsel he could, usually feeling like a person who had just discovered food for the first time.

When Rico returned to the table and causally retold what Poe asked of him, jade eyes shot a withering glare over at the pilot's table. Hux wasn't good with people crowding him in and telling him what he could and could not do, and that extended to the people he chose to associate with. He understood the man was jealous, despite not having a valid reason to be, but now he was edging close to the General's chain of command.

Gavin rose of his chair with a grace he didn't know he could muster in the given circumstance. The brunette followed him without ever being told to do so - he was a good, loyal pup after all. The pair left the mess hall with no words spoken between them. Even Rico understood from the cold waves rolling off of his normally sassy companion that touching the redhead would only lead to trouble.

"So, tell me, man, where were you last night? I mean it, lips sealed and everything."

Hux bristled at the voice interrupting his thoughts, but nevertheless came up with an answer. "Decided to camp out in the woods. From where I come from, we sleep under the stars when the weather is good. I felt homesick."

His lie was bought with a shoulder on his hand and a reassurance that he could tell the other recruit anything. They walked back to the barracks and Rico took up his usual place on the General's bed as Gavin rifled through his bag and pulled out form-fitting, black, denim pants and a dark green - almost black - long sleeved shirt. Dress comfortably, Dameron had said. Close enough.

"Stay here," Hux ordered as he went to change. He stopped at the mirror on his way back out, ruffling and styling his hair into a purposeful windblown look before returning to his companion and starting up a mindless conversation about X-Wings.

***

Even though Hux leaving without so much as a glance in his direction had Poe sighing, he recovered and fell back into simple chatter with the rest of the pilots at his table. Darkened eyes kept throwing hopeful glances towards the entrance of the eatery, just hoping to catch a glimpse of bright red hair returning. But even as he sat there until it was just him and Rhys left at the table, his tray nearly devoured in its entirety, Gavin did not reappear. Nor did his overly clingy shadow. 

Poe debated showing up in the recruit’s barracks, just to say hi to his lover or something, _anything_ other than this distance. But he soon talked himself out of it. Hux was a complicated person. This early into the relationship, Poe wasn’t sure how the redhead even felt about random surprises or an unexpected show up every now and then. Not to check on him, but just in that hopes of making his day slightly better. 

He ended up deciding just to return to his quarters and prepare himself for the evening. Though he kept to the same attire, Poe spend a great deal of time in the refresher, jumping from pushing his hair back in this direction, just to then change it to _that_ direction. He’d splash a new layer of cologne on, fear it to be too strong and try to towel it off, just to worry that Gavin wouldn’t be able to smell it, causing him to splash more on. 

Finally, as he was leaving, Poe stopped a droid and requested it to bring recruit Hux a message to meet right outside the hangar, by the large shading tree. Poe then walked with an extra pep to his step, determined to arrive first to prove that he could do something in his life without being late. So there he stood, nervously tugging down his shirt, smoothing over the front, or fussing with his hair, anxiously awaiting to see if the recruit truly would show up for this date. Clammy palms eventually shoved deep into pockets as Poe stood there, rocking back and forth on his feet.

***

When the droid finally found the ginger, its screech was almost unintelligible. Gaavin stopped styling his hair enough to calm it down and ask it to repeat its message. 'Commander Dameron requests your presence.' With a smile that was completely invisible to anyone who wasn't looking for it, the fiery man was out the door. He heard recruits calling after him and simply stated that he was being called upon as his explanation for leaving.

He dodged around people in the halls, keeping his head down as to not to accidentally start a conversation with an over-friendly passerby. The hangar was basically abandoned, now, and Hux couldn't recall the echoing room ever being so quiet. He shifted his step as he neared the exit, dropping away his military stride to instead walk with his natural grace. He glanced around. 'The shading tree', the bot head said. Well done, Poe, guess what there's an overabundance of in a forest? Trees. A green gaze fell onto a figure fidgeting by itself. 'So he _can_ be on time,' the General joked to himself before closing the distance between them.

Gavin took the time to admire the pilot from after, taking in the messily styled hair and almost spicy smell that clung to the air around the man. Poe looked nervous, and that was more endearing than it ever could be outputting. What did he even have to be nervous of? The redhead was already infatuated and intrigued by the Commander, and he wasn't planning on going anywhere until he absolutely had to.

Damn, he was getting too invested, too early.

"Well, hello, Commander."

Poe was far too concerned with his appearance, feeling entirely lost in his nervousness, to notice the redheaded recruit approaching. So the sudden greeting offered to him forced his heart into his stomach and his stomach into his feet. It almost felt like nothing had progressed between them throughout the night and Poe was starting over fresh. He truly felt like a young teen boy going on a date for the first time, and he hated that feeling.

“Oh, uh… Hello, yourself, recruit.”

With clammy palms, Poe reached out for his lover’s hand. Tanned fingers curled around the palm as he lifted it to his lips, placing a very subtle, faint kiss to his knuckles. There was a very faint tremble to his hand that Poe chuckled off nervously, willing himself to shape up. They already fucked. More than once. They’ve exchanged deep secrets, they’ve confessed emotions… Why was this so suddenly difficult? Because Poe simply did not date. He did not put himself out there like that and risk absolute embarrassment. He preferred the more casual, laid back and unattached approach. His last date, in fact, was with his late fiancé.

“You look great,” he admitted honestly, an almost airy tone to his voice. His lips stretching up into a grin, he threaded their fingers together, holding Gavin's hand gently, and pressed another kiss to his knuckles. “You ready to go? Or do you have more things that need to be attended to,” he teased in regards to the way Hux had left him earlier in the conference room.

"Oh, I always have things to attend to. Right now, I have a gorgeous pilot on my agenda," the taller man teased. His heart was fluttering and he had to drop his gaze away from Dameron to not break out into a blushing smile. Here it was again - the warmth, the feeling of falling - Hux felt so completely out of control and in control at the same time and all he could do was hold on for dear life.

After his own, terrible relationship ended, the General had thrown himself into his work and rose through the ranks faster than anyone thought possible. When he caught Snoke's attention, his social life ended. There was too much that needed to be done, too many secrets, too many consoles that were left as burning wrecks on his ship. He didn't see the need for flings, nor did he care enough to find a bed mate. It was unprofessional.

Kind of like going on dates with your enemy while undercover.

Gavin stopped thinking and refocused his eyes on his lover. He leaned forward to steal a kiss before whispering, butterflies in his stomach and heart, "I'm more than ready. What have you got planned?"

“Something I think we will both enjoy.” Poe’s response was rather vague, but it was accompanied with a warm smile. With an entire galaxy of possibilities to consider for a first date, he was beginning to wonder if what he picked was too simple. Too… Pathetic. Giving Hux’s hand a squeeze, the Commander looked around them to ensure no gazes were pointed in their direction before leaning in to steal another peck from his lover’s lips.

The Rebel pilot led the redheaded recruit into the trees, taking him off of the beaten path. Though there was some already trampled spots here and there, it otherwise showed no activity had traveled that way. Every so often, the dark haired lover would toss a flirty look towards the other and feel his smile continually grow.

“Just up ahead now,” he spoke lowly, his grip never once leaving the pale, slender hand. Weaving through several more trees, a small hill was revealed in which Poe led the recruit up to the top. At that exact spot, there was a very clear view of the land around them. They could see perfectly the night sky and every twinkling little star it held within its great black expanse. Poe flashed a shy smile towards Gavin before dropping his hand and sitting down on the hill, his gaze instantly lifting up to the sky. Star gazing… Simple enough first date. “There’s supposed to be a meteor shower tonight,” he stated defensively as if already trying to convince Hux that the night wouldn’t be a total bust.

Pale eyes widened as the ginger looked up at the sky, a soft smile playing on his lips. He walked around the pilot and lightly kicked Poe's feet apart so that he could sit between his lover's legs and lay back against the strong chest behind him. Gavin sighed happily and gazed at the twinkling lights that spread out all around them. This was perfect - something that was both soothing and romantic. A secret shared in the dark as they waited for the sky to fall around them.

When a small flicker caught his attention much closer to the ground, Hux tracked the solitary firefly as it made it's jagged path over the hill. It flitted about, knocked and carried by its own weight and the gentle breeze that wafted through the clearing. When it had vanished from sight, the General broke the silence. "My mother used to say that fireflies were stars that came down from the sky to light up the earth. People used to catch them and make them into lanterns to cast out the darkness of night so that they could travel safely - protected by the heavens."

A few shifts and twists later, and the paler of the two cast a gaze that was much closer to silver than green up at his personal recliner. Dameron's eyes reflected the starry sky in a perfect mirror of black. "Tell me a story about you."

Poe simply sat there, arms out to his side as he awaited his lover’s form to still. Once Gavin settled back against him, Poe wrapped his arms loosely around the slender form as best as he could with the relaxed position and chuckled. His own dark eyes flicked downwards, losing himself in the much lighter, nearly see through, pools with only the faintest hint of jade to them now. “A story about me? My, my, doll. And here I thought you were getting tired of me talking.” Chuckling softly, Poe gave his broad shoulders a swift raise before dropping them back down in a shrug.

Before he began to speak, allowing himself a few more moments to gather his thoughts, Poe began to lay back down onto the solid, cool earth beneath them. He shifted Hux around as well in the process until he had the slender male resting his upper half on his chest. “Well, what kind of story would you like? A horror story? Romance? Country western?” The pilot teased, any tension and concern he was feeling earlier about their interactions during the lesson seemed to drain away from him.

“Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Poe. Poe had _big_ dreams of becoming the best damn pilot the galaxy could ever see.” A soft laugh rumbled his chest as it worked its way up through his lips. Darkened eyes focused lazily on the sky, only looking away as a firefly flitted by sporadically. “But as the boy began to age, he realized that the desire to be the best was simply… Out of the picture. And years continued ticking by and he suddenly realized that maybe being a pilot wasn’t all it was cracked up to be…” His tone began to drop as the amused direction the story started off as turned a bit more serious. “Now he’s not entirely sure what it is that he wants anymore.”

The silence that came after the parody of a story made the breeze sound like a tornado. The lovers breathed together as the ginger tried to find a way to respond to what he was told - be it in joking or not. Words wouldn't form into sentences in his mind. Thoughts, half formed, crumbled before they could ever be voiced. A bitten lip and a firefly flicker later, Hux broke the quiet.

"Once upon a time, there was a boy named...well, let's call him Gavin. Gavin never had dreams, but he had ambition. He wanted to write his name in the stars so that no one would forget him. And he was lonely, even though he'd never admit it." The General sat up and rolled away from where they were so that he could lay on his side, tucked against his lover, with his head resting on the pilot's chest. "But when he least expected it, he met a boy named Poe. He was sad, too." A pale hand balled into Dameron's shirt over his torso. "They didn't like each other that much in the beginning...but then something changed. Because these two, sad, lonely boys realized that they were not so different after all and they didn't feel so bad when they were with each other."

The redhead's gaze sought out the Commander's as his hand sought to tangle it's fingers with his mentor's. Above them, a star fell - and that felt almost like a scene from a holo-recording if it weren't also for the others that followed it. Green eyes turned to the sky as the meteors blazed trails of fire through it. "What do you want, Poe?" The firefly flickered again - on, off, on off. "What are you thinking?"

Blinking several times, Poe turned his gaze from the sky and locked with the gaze of his lover. “What do I want?” He asked with a soft voice, not so much a whisper, but not loud enough for anyone to hear if they were to happen by. Which Poe knew, wouldn’t. “That’s a rather open ended question, don’t you think? I want… Tacos. A puppy would be cute. A change of color in my quarters, maybe a new paint job. Some furniture would be nice.” Dameron’s smile soon returned as a hand lifted to brush through the styled, un-styled looking locks. 

“What do I want…” Words drifted off as thought took over, Poe’s gaze faltering slightly as well. “I want to feel like I have purpose. Not just as a fighter,” he was quick to interject, “I want… To go one day without wishing I could escape myself. I want to feel like I mean something. Like I’m important _outside_ of a Starfighter. I want to fall asleep with a smile on my lips and wake up with that smile there.” Like last night leading into that morning, but Poe wasn’t going to admit that. “I don’t want to feel held back by some invisible fuckin’ force that has a death grip on my fuckin’ soul. I want to be able to get upset without needing to--”

The dark haired male sighed, feeling emotion surging from deep inside him. Well, Hux wanted to talk, so they were talking. But what Poe wanted most of all, another tidbit he would rather keep to himself than verbally admit, is that he wants to constantly feel that warmth that Gavin brings him now when he is near. That sense of completeness. Of understanding, and care, and hope. “What about you, Hux? What does the inner you want more than anything in this galaxy?”

The ginger hummed and turned his full attention to the sky. He wanted control. He wanted to feel like his life was not just a series of random events strung together by an identity. He wanted uniformity and order because that meant outlying, divergent rebels could be seen - there would be no masks of innocence and love that turned into cruelty and abuse. He wanted to sit on a galactic throne because it would make him untouchable. He wanted to write his name in the stars with fire so that no one could ever say he would amount to nothing.

He wanted stability. He wanted to feel safe and secure, even when his body and mind were so damn broken. He wanted warmth and gentle arms around him. He wanted someone else to be in control - wanted to have someone he could trust to let go around and not be scared of the consequences. What did he want?

"I want to prove everyone wrong. Anyone who doubted me and my worth. I want to stop feeling like a broken toy soldier and start feeling like a Gen--erally well rounded person," Hux stopped talking for a long moment after his almost-slip. "I want to feel like I mean something."

Everything he wanted was slowly starting to revolve around the pilot he was currently wrapped around, and that was terrifying. Even more terrifying was the conversation he was about to start in the dark and hush of the night. "Have you ever thought of just...leaving?" To defect was to be a traitor. It was treasonous. But Hux would be more than willing to set that aside if he could somehow, at the end of it all, convince his lover to leave with him. He wanted to no longer be alone.

Did he ever want to leave? Sighing, Poe lifted his gaze to the beautiful lights the sky currently flared up with. Greens blended in beautifully with blues and purples, some reds tinting with yellow and creating oranges; but that was simply a reflective backdrop to the true show playing out for their attention. Clouds rolling in muffled the meteor shower to some extent, but even with a building storm, the sudden sharp lights blazing through the sky were visible. 

“More times than I can ever proudly admit to.” It took the Commander quite a while to actually respond, and when he did, it was with a defeated sigh. He had never allowed himself to voice his desires to just pack up and leave it all behind, knowing it would be construed as treasonous and weakness. “I can’t… No matter how badly I’d ever want to. Those moments when I just want to throw in the towel and call it quits, in more ways than just this war.” Death, suicide… “And I try to convince myself that I have nothing worth fighting to stay alive for, I think of them,” he spoke in reference to his squadron, the Resistance, those depending on him to save lives. 

“It’s stupid, I know. And I can only beg you never to repeat that, to anyone. But sometimes I wonder if I were to leave and just live life for myself, that I won’t have that motivation to keep fighting…” The entire time he spoke, he kept a saddened eye on the sky above. The clouds continued rolling in, now covering the large, bright moon behind their darkness. Thunder rumbling lowly in the distance broke him out of his trance and he looked back at his lover curled up against him, flashing him a faint smile.

Gavin's attention was drawn to the storm rolling in. Sparks of lightening started to crackle in the air above them and caused the ginger to curl tighter against his lover. He had missed storms - the rain and bright flashes and rumbles - but he set that aside to hone in on the man he was pressed against and the words that had been spoken to him. Hux sat up, again, and moved so he was straddling the Commander, the falling stars and approaching clouds but a distant memory, something he could recall later and think fondly of.

"Not to ruin our cuddling under the stars, but allow me to offer the briefest of insight from someone who came very close to 'calling it quits,'" the General's voice was soft despite the seriousness of his words. "It's never worth it. Not really. And by the time your realize that - that you wish you hadn't done anything - it's already too late and you're bleeding out on the refresher floor and desperately trying to stay conscious until a med-droid shows up." He drops forward to place a few kisses against Dameron's lips. "If you lose your motivation, Flyboy, find another. Find a better one. No one fights this war for themselves and no one leaves it willingly." Another kiss. "You are worth more than you know."

When the paler man rolled away, once more, he stayed on his back, feeling a few drops of water come crashing down onto him from the sky. "Our beach house - yes, my family has one - would have storms in the winter. They were massive, almost monsoons. But I remember seeing the lightening everywhere. It would stretch across the sky from corner to corner. It was almost as beautiful as the sunsets." He drifted off into silence, listening as droplets of rain and rumbles above them danced and fell to the ground. Green eyes turned to look at the Commander's profile as he wondered if sunsets could even compare to the beauty beside him. "Don't give up, Love. Ever."

Blinking as raindrops landed too close to his eyes, Poe lifted a hand to brush the dampness away. His head turned to the side, his cheek pressed to the cold earth beneath, before he moved onto his side completely and slung an arm over Hux’s body. The thunder continued to rumble on around them, very slowly increasing in length and volume. The lightning did its job at illuminating the surrounding area, giving the pilot a better look at his pale lover. 

If Poe was smart, and willing to admit it to himself, he would come to terms with the idea that Hux could possibly become a reason for him to keep fighting. If things continued on as they currently were, Poe could find himself falling fast, hard, and deep for the redheaded recruit. Already, he felt a connection towards the other male; a strong pull to stay near him. It was far more complicated than just a damn good partner to have sex with. 

A particularly loud clap of thunder startled the pilot out of his thoughts and he bent in, pressing a deep, open mouthed kiss to Gavin's lips. He wasted no time before rolling his tongue forward, keeping the make-out slow and sensual. Leaning more towards him, Poe lifted a leg, bending it and resting it over Hux’s, part of his body pinning the taller, slender male to the ground. His free hand moved up to tangle in red locks, giving them a slight tug, while his other hand rested low on the recruit’s belly. Fingertips made soft almost unnoticeable patterns through the thin fabric of the dark green shirt adorning Hux’s form.

“Don’t give up on me, darlin’, and I’ll find a reason not to give up.” The Commander’s words were spoken in low tones, his lips still pressed to Gavin’s. As soon as they drifted off, covered up by a rumble of thunder, Poe continued the kiss, now with a bit more fire behind the movements.

As the passion behind the press of lips and tongue increased, Hux's hands finally snapped into motion. One moved to rest against the pilot's side in an almost bracing fashion while the other lifted the hem of Poe's shirt to rest on the muscles beneath, feeling them flex and unflex in little twitches as the chill of the night air was chased away by pale fingertips. Hux rolled up as much as he could into the touch against his shirt.

It struck him again, as lightening spread across the sky in a kaleidoscope of brightness, that he and Dameron seemed to slot together is the simplest of ways - when they were away from the bickering and keeping up reputations, they fell together with hardly any struggle. They were magnetic, just sometimes turned the wrong way. It was a fine line they had between repelling and attracting one another.

The rain became a steady beat around them as thunder drummed in chorus. When Gavin broke the kiss, it was with a revelation that he tried to stifle and smother, one that had been building up from the night he realized how in tune he and the Resistance Commander were. More and more, now, the thought, the question, was plaguing his mind - after all of this, whatever this becomes, could he ever bring himself to raise a weapon against Poe? Could he order the man harmed?

The answer was very quickly solidifying into a negation.

This wasn't how it was supposed to happen.

He didn't want it to stop.

The rain fell harder. Hux smiled. Soft, barely there. "As much as I like you being my personal umbrella, perhaps we should move this to somewhere a bit drier."

Dark curls quickly becoming overly saturated with the constant drops of rain hung heavy in the pilot’s eyes as he looked down upon his lover. He now had a smile pinching at the corners of his lips and he let slip a lively laugh. Gavin had this way of igniting different flames within him; anger, jealousy, arousal, playfulness, happiness… Every flame burned just as bright as the other, and neither ever dulled down to simple embers. Simply put, Poe felt entirely more alive around this male. And he was rapidly losing himself to the emotions, forcing any internal warnings from his mind and heart. The Rebel fighter had been told, numerous times, that he reacted too easily from emotions, so why would this situation be any different?

“Come on, before the storm really hits.”

Jumping rather gracefully to his feet, Poe extended an arm down to help the redhead up. As soon as Hux was to his feet as well, the shorter male tugged his lover tight against his body. One arm slung low on his waist, allowing the connecting hand to settle right above the swell of his ass, while his other hand lightly gripped beneath his chin and pulled him in for another kiss. Rain fell all around them, blanketing them in the cold wetness, and up above in the sky, streaks of light were blinded by brighter flashes of lightning. 

The Commander stepped back only when the need for air became too much and he held a tight grip to Gavin’s hand. The storm was rapidly increasing all around them, barely giving the sky time to finish flashing before the cackle of thunder took over. Poe was starting to struggle with his vision, finding himself backtracking through trees and ultimately, losing track of his normal way back. But he didn’t want his lover to worry and think any less of him, so he pressed on. Turns were becoming more and more random until Poe could barely keep his eyes open due to the heavy downpour. 

Fearing the date was getting ruined due to inclement weather, he whimpered, the sound barely audible over the next particularly loud clap of thunder. It startled him, greatly, forcing him to jump where he stood and squeeze Hux’s hand a bit tighter. Now would probably be an inopportune time to confess his very great dislike towards bad storms. Simple thunderstorms he could handle just fine, but once the thunder grew loud enough to shake the earth beneath their feet, he became worried. 

One bright flash of lightning illuminated a sight up ahead that brought a very tiny hint of relief to him, so Poe began running. With his tight grip still on Hux’s hand, the Commander led them straight into a small cave, deep enough to protect them from the torrential downpour. “Fuck!!” He yelled in anger, letting go with his other hand to brush both through soaked hair. “Fuck…” Sighing heavily, he glanced out into the storm, feeling anything good inside him washing away with every teasing drop of rain that fell.

The General watched the sky light up again and again from under the cover of their hideaway. Storms were one of his favorite, natural occurrences, regardless of how little he witnessed them anymore. They were magnificent - raw power built up and unobtainable, unconquered. Jade eyes flashed in the cracks of lightening, then finally turned back to his unsettled lover.

The cave was much less of an endless cavern and much more of a small alcove. Its ceilings were surprisingly tall, enough so that Hux could stand up straight and not worry about hitting his head until he moved further toward the back, where everything narrowed into a solid rock wall. The ginger stopped exploring and observing to instead focus on the man who was clearly getting more and more distressed with every moment.

Why?

Was Poe afraid of the storm? Was he worried about Hux's own response to it all?

A way to possibly help with both of those questions popped into the General's head and before he could dismiss it as silly or inappropriate, he acted. He grabbed the Commander's hands - chilled from the rain and warm from his beating heart - and pulled Dameron back out into the downpour. A flash from the sky lit up the area that they were in, showing Hux all the room they could move in and most of the bumps and flat areas.

The taller man listened for a few seconds to find a beat within the storm before he pulled the pilot into a waltz. Hux led them across the open area, stepping to the rain as thunder drummed in chorus with the torrent falling around them. He kept them close together at all times - feeding off one another's warmth and reminding the darker man that he was not alone. The wind blew like chimes and the lightening crackled to life as spotlights. The false-recruit laughed in the storm as they danced and raised his voice to be heard over the downpour. "All you have to do is find the right dance partner, Flyboy. After that, just let the music play."


	24. A Slip Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 <3 <3

To take, what he felt to be, such a stressful situation, a date on the verge of pathetic collapse, and flip it back into something so romantic and… Perfect.

The smile Hux’s lips held was endearing and it had the pilot’s heart flip flopping all over itself. His stomach twisted, knotting in almost nauseating ways, but he could not tear his gaze away from the man currently leading them on in a awe-inspiring way. Laughter began to build in the pilot’s chest before erupting through his mouth. His head tossed back, feeling the rain pelt his face and soak into his hair even further. But he didn’t care. Not anymore. Gavin exuberated this warm glow that seemed to encircle them like an orb. 

His laughter wasn’t a mocking jest at the words his lover had spoken, or a jab at the twirling movements that had them stepping so rhythmically over soggy blades of grass. But it was an expression of how utterly _alive_ he currently felt, and he couldn’t find any better way to let it out. Stilling their steps, Poe cupped Hux’s cheeks with both of his hands, grinning wide at him as he caught his eyes. 

The near strobe-like effect from the lightning showed Poe’s own reflection in the jade orbs. Water beaded on pale skin before streaking down, almost as if the droplets were in a race. “And I suppose you think me the right dance partner, hm?” He teased lightly, the wide grin now refusing to leave his lips. Of course, Poe could not imagine being in this situation with anybody else. Granted, he never would have agreed to a date with anybody else.

The flutter of his heart matched the butterflies in the ginger's stomach as he stared deeply into the eyes of his lover with each, split second illumination of the world around them. The wind shifted direction and sent the wet, dark curls off of Poe's forehead and backward in an odd mockery of the way the Commander had styled it earlier. Hux's hands balled in the front of his lover's soaked shirt.

The smile that had taken up permanent residence on Gavin's lips felt so alien to him. It had been far too long since he actually had a reason to be happy and free and at ease with someone. But, here - in the rain and thunder, with a chill setting into his bones from wet clothes and biting winds - it felt so natural. White teeth bit a pink lip to try and contain the joy that sparked through the General like the lightening in the sky.

Below them, the ground sunk into their shoes, rooting them in this moment like a monument. He couldn't imagine this playing out any other way. Couldn't imagine being with anyone else and having such a connection to someone. 

Ever.

"I think," the ginger murmured as he inched closer. "That you are the only dance partner I could ever want."

Seeing the subtle step forward from the recruit caused the Commander’s breath to hitch. Never had anyone reduced him to such shyness and such…Nervousness, before. Not even with his past lover. Things started off rather quickly between him and Adrian. And, yes, it did so with Gavin as well. But all this blushing, and momentary losses of breath, this was all knew to him. After giving his lips a quick lick, though they were damp enough already from the rain, Poe nodded. 

“I definitely feel as though you secured that spot with me as well.”

The Rebel fighter wasn’t even entirely sure if all of his words made it to his lover’s ears. The loud nearly static sound of the rain and the near constant rumble of thunder surely overpowered the hushed, whispered words spoken. But regardless, Poe felt as though they needed to be said. A cool hand cupped an even paler cheek as the shorter of the two lovers bent in. Gavin’s mouth still felt warm, regardless of the cooled atmosphere around them. And plump lips were eager to seek more heat. The kiss started off relatively slow; just a man searching for a jolt of electricity and a jumpstart to his stuttering heart. Booted feet stepped closer and he sought to minimize any distance still remaining between them, feeling the soggy earth cave beneath his weight. 

Storms weren’t rare on the planet. But when they came, they made up for lost time. At first, the tanned lover may have been against the idea of their date being rained out, but in the end, he found it only added more to the moment. More what, he wasn’t entirely sure. But he was eager to figure it out.

Gavin whined slightly into their kiss as the odd contrast of cold bodies and warm sensation crashed over him as the rain continued around them. This was different than their previous kisses - this slow entanglement of tongues and teeth and breath felt more substantial, somehow. It felt like a realization and an admittance. It felt like accepting the fall and expecting the catch.

In the darkness around them, Hux felt his heart briefly stop and his mind grind to a halt. White noise filled his head in the forms of sparks of sensation - the rain pelting him, the feeling of hands holding him in place, the tickling sensation that came when the lovers shifted and their wet clothes dragged against one another in an embrace of fabric.

When the kiss broke, neither party moved.

A standstill, a stalemate, a tactical pause. There was nothing left to deny, no shadows left to curl up in and reject what the ginger had known from the moment they bonded. The danger of getting to close was that it led to attachment. And attachment in war meant rash decisions and the inability to act. It meant giving the enemy leverage, especially if the attachment was _with_ the enemy.

"Fuck it all..." Hux groaned. "I think I'm falling for you."

“I’ll catch you, if you promise to catch me.” 

Nine words, spoken so simply, but hiding behind such powerful meaning. It was the Commander’s way of admitting to his recruit that he, too, was falling. Hard. Not just in a sense of having a little school crush on the man. No, Poe wanted more from him. He wanted that chance to fall asleep with Gavin in his arms, and to wake up with him nestled against his chest. To be able to walk through the corridors with the paler hand held tightly within his own. To just know that someone out there truly cared for him. That confession of what he wanted earlier, that’s what he was beginning to absolutely realize was happening.

“Gavin, I..”

Luckily, a loud, heart stopping crack of thunder forced Poe away from his thoughts and knocked the words right from his mouth. Dark eyes widened, almost resembling a terrified child, Poe searched for a hint of safety in his lover’s intoxicating green eyes. He reached for his hand, instinctively tugging him out of the rain and back into their tiny little alcove of protection. Like the large, gaping opening leading out into the storm could actually shield them from harm’s way. 

“This... This isn’t what I had pictured for the night.” Something about being in that cave brought a surge of negativity to Dameron’s mind. Right away, he was beginning to feel like the night had perhaps taken too much of a drastic downturn. He sighed as his hand lifted and brushed through heavy dark curls. Giving his head a shake, he forced the clinging droplets to dislodge. “I-I’m sorry, I am. I wanted to give you something.. Special. Not…”

He motioned around at the alcove. “Not this.”

Pursed lips and a raised eyebrow responded to to droplets of water suddenly hitting the ginger as the pilot shook like a dog. He wiped away the excess water from his face and pushed his red locks backward and out off his forehead. The smile returned to his lips as a hand sought out a darker counterpart. Instead of addressing the apology, Hux pulled them in farther so that they could sit with their backs against the backs against the stone wall of the cave.

How was this not special?

Two mortal enemies dancing in the rain, laughing at life, and whispering admittances of deep feelings that were growing in the star-crossed lovers faster than the lightening that flashed in the sky. This - the storm, the waltz, the stargazing, the cave - all of it came together in an outcome of impossibilities. His smile widened once more - it was mutual. It was bidirectional. It was an offered promise.

Gavin leaned over to gently press his lips against Poe's cheek, trying to tease away the frown that had pulled on his mouth. "I will always catch you, Flyboy. And don't apologize when you have done nothing wrong. This is...perfectly unpredictable, but that seems to be us in a nutshell, so I rather think it suits us."

Hux shifted closer, then groaned at the drenched clothes that pressed against him. He shook his head and rolled his eyes playfully. "Next time, we should bring an umbrella." Cuddling close to the Commander, regardless of the chill and the feeling of wariness, the General felt content. "I think you'd like the storms on the beach more than this. Are you scared of thunder?"

The proud Commander wanted to respond with a loud ‘fuck no!’ and deny ever being afraid of anything, especially a noise produced so commonly by nature. To be afraid of a simple storm would show utter weakness, would it not? It was obvious Gavin enjoyed storms, so Poe was thankful they could have at least shared that moment together. But to admit his unyielding fear for such a simple occurrence? The next clap of thunder that resonated in their little hideaway answered the question for him as it made the sturdy body jolt and bump into his lover on accident where they sat.

“No,” he half-answered, though his words drifted off accompanied by a shame driven sigh. “Not all thunder. _This_ thunder. I can handle thunderstorms just fine, don’t get me wrong. But this, when it gets to this volume… This _anger_ … It makes me think of…”

Poe allowed his train of thought to end right there. It made him think of war. Of explosions, and death. It made him think of his parents leaving to fight, constantly wondering if he would see them return. It forced him to recall his own actions in the heat of the moment that left him haunted for weeks with the thoughts of if anyone innocent simply got caught in the line of fire. Post-Traumatic Stress, that’s what he’s been told. It wasn’t triggered frequently, but when it was, it came back with a vengeance. Over time, the Rebel pilot has learned how to handle it. But being stuck out in the opening, watching the sudden flashes of light explode with crackling booms seemed to hit a deep nerve in him.

“I’m fine, honestly. Don’t go stressing over me,” he chuckled softly, nudging Gavin's arm with his own. “It’s just not a situation I’d prefer to be in.” Though, Hux had found a way to bring out the laughter amidst the dark thoughts ebbing their way into his mind. It would seem as though the recruit could replace the darkness with a light in more than one area, and Poe found himself deeply grateful for that.

Jade eyes took in the huddled silhouette beside him, only able to really see the pilot's face when there were flashes of light that accompanied the noise that forced his lover to jerk and whine. It was like he was shell-shocked. Hux dropped his gaze. In this war, there was no time to reminisce and think deeply about actions taken or missed.

A few lives didn't matter, not when they could so easily be replaced.

All's fair in love and war - that was the saying, wasn't it? Sacrifices would be made, both civilian and soldier. The General had taken his fair share of lives from both sides as he rose through the ranks. After all, people didn't get to his position at such a young age by sheer competence alone. He was not only the best there was to offer, but he was ruthless, ingenious - especially in regard to strategy and technology, and not afraid to get his hands bloodied.

He'd been through too much already to flinch anymore. When someone has been sad for so long and something bad happens, they don't cry. They just feel numb. Hux hit that point a long time ago.

When the General finally responded, it wasn't in Basic. He knew that the Commander liked the foreign language, perhaps it would help him. "Tha an tairneanaich agus an dealanach - the thunder and the lightening. Aon uair 's tuarastail uabhasach cogadh solais agus fuaim - once waged a terrible war of light and sound." He paused for a moment to decide how to best summarize the story.

"Shabaid iad airson bliadhna agus eagal uidhir de dhaoine - they fought for years and terrified so many people. Gus an aon latha, nighean òg stad airson coimhead an clais agus chunnaic e maise a chumail - until one day, a young girl stopped to watch their clash and saw the beauty it held." Lightning flashed, followed by a softer thunder. Gavin turned to his lover and took one of Poe's hands in his own, simply holding them close. "You're alright, Flyboy. We're alright."

“So, who am I? Am I Thunder? Or am I Lightning?” Even with the storm raging on outside their alcove, Poe found himself slipping away from any fear or negative past emotions. “I think I’m going with Thunder for myself. Lightning is pretty blinding, and, uh. So is your complexion.” His lips stretched wide into a grin once more to show he was teasing before he leaned in to peck at his lover’s lips. “You know, doll. I could listen to you recite an X-Wing owner’s manual backwards, and still be just as entranced. You really…” He shook his head, warmth still playing over his features. “Not to belittle my profession, but you are destined for much more than being just a pilot.”

The look the pilot now held in his eyes screamed honesty. “Don’t get me wrong. You were able to handle my craft with barely any instruction. I can only imagine how you would be in the cockpit of a normal X-Wing. But the way you captivate, the way you demand attention just by walking in the room. That doesn’t usually come naturally, love. But with you, apparently it does.” And as much as he didn’t want to bring up the twerp’s name, Poe sighed. “Look at Rico, I mean. He’d be your loyal servant if you were to ever command your own army.”

Outside, the rain seemingly began to lessen. Poe noticed that the length between each flash of lightning grew longer and longer, and even the strength of the thunder began to quiet. With any luck, they would have enough of a break in the storm to navigate themselves back to his quarters before the sky unleashed her fury over the base once more. Blinking several times, Poe found he could not force himself to look away from his recruit, so he leaned in, placing his lips against the others again in a lingering, caring kiss.

"Of course I could command an army, I'm a Gen--"

Fuck. No. Wrong thing to say. That wasn't supposed to be voiced, it was supposed to stay in his head as a snarky comment that Hux found amusing, even though no one else knew about it. Why was _now_ the moment his tongue decided to slip?!

Hux raced for a way to retract his words, flipping through different phrases and word combinations to right his dazed wrong. He certainly wasn't entranced anymore - not by the storm or the gentle praises or the warmth of the man beside him. Lightning split the sky and the ginger made a decision in the time it took for the light to fade. If it worked, he would be able to breathe again. If it didn't, well, then he was about to test what happened when the light and dark sides clashed in a cave in the middle of nowhere.

With a beating heart and tensed muscles, Gavin shifted onto his knees and held his wrists together as if they were imprisoned by an invisible pair of cuffs. "I'm the General of the First Order that you captured, Commander. I lead many armies, you just lead yourself down a path of destruction." The ginger played up his haughty tone of voice, slipping into something of his normal self - but much, much less. He bit the inside of his cheek as he tried to sell the spontaneous role-play. "It doesn't matter what you do. You won't get any information from me." Outside, the storm broke. Thank the Maker for good timing. With a flick of his eyes to the cave opening, Hux finished his taunt. "Take me to your holding chambers."

For a few long seconds, confusion was the only thing Poe felt. A part of him wondered if Hux was mocking him for the praise he just spoke. But when he studied his lover on his knees, wrists held out in mock surrender, and listened to the playful tone, a smirk began to tug at his lips. Oh. Gavin wanted to play, hm? A dark chuckle rumbled in the Commander’s chest as his eyes flashed pure black for a split second. 

“Well, well, well, General…” He husked, his tongue flicking out to tease his own lips. “It’s about time you gave yourself up to us.” Poe could play, too. 

Standing abruptly, the Rebel fighter began to fuss with his belt until he had it undone. He reached down and swiftly wrapped them around Gavin’s wrists, though not tight enough to actually be restrictive. “To your feet, prisoner.” He commanded with authority weighing down his words. But instead of giving his faux-prisoner any time to actually stand for himself, Dameron reached down and tugged on the belt to force him up. 

“Your armies stood _no_ chance against us, anyways.”

He kept a tight grip on the loose belt as he tugged his lover forward, feeling a very odd sense of arousal filling his body. Poe had done role-play once or twice before in the past, finding he did enjoy it, but was never confident enough to engage any lovers in the act. So for Hux to randomly initiate it, the Commander was _not_ going to pass up the golden opportunity.

Gavin closed his eyes briefly in relief before opening them back up and glaring at his lover with an icy gaze that held a softness around the edges. "My armies, Scum, are highly trained from birth. The fact that you got lucky does not reflect negligence, just chance."

They slipped out of the cave and into the wet world around them. Night had settled completely, with a muffled moon just barely peeking through the stormclouds. They wouldn't have much time to get back to the base, but, frankly, they both were soaked enough that more rain falling on them would hardly make a difference. Every few steps, Hux would pretend to struggle away, only to have the grip on his makeshift restraints tighten and tugged on.

"I think I can handle walking on my own, Commander. It's not a difficult task, all things considered," the ginger's voice was low with more than just a hint of an edge to it.

He couldn't deny the way that his heart drummed and his body quivered. It was rare for the General to put on an act for anyone at all - undercover work excused - but this was so close to the truth that it felt like a confession and a temptation all rolled into one game. He swallowed and tugged at the belt again as heat rolled through his body.

"Keep smirking, Pilot, and we'll see who is victorious in this interrogation."

The more Hux spoke, the more aroused Poe became. Until finally, he just couldn’t stand it anymore. He turned abruptly, facing his imprisoned lover, before shoving him back against a tree. With not a second in between, he slotted his lips over Gavin’s, shoving his tongue deep into his mouth to silence him. The kiss lasted but only a few moments before he pulled back with a playful growl and mocking sneer. “If I were you, I’d shut up now. I have ways of making your pretty little voice come into action later.” 

One final deep kiss and Poe stepped back. His hands reached down to unwrap the belt from the ginger’s wrists, realizing it wouldn’t be terribly smart to lead the recruit through corridors with a belt. As he pecked a soft little kiss to Hux’s lips, it was a simple, friendly, caring gesture, one exchanged between lovers and not one sparked from the heat of the moment. “Come on.”

With a little wink, he led the taller male further through the trees, letting out a sigh of relief to find them thinning out, exposing the tarmac in the distance. “Thank Maker,” he muttered, not even minding the fact that they emerged on the complete opposite end of the base from where they originally started. It would take a bit of sneaky maneuvering to get back to his quarters unnoticed, but with the arousal coursing his system currently, he’d rather shoot anyone that got in his way than stop for anything.

As the lovers ducked down in an almost spy-like fashion, Hux couldn't help but chuckle. They were two grown men, sneaking around a base in the middle of the night, completely soaked through and half-way into a role-play of something much closer to reality than the Commander would probably ever know. One always was looking out for the other as they slipped from hall to hall. At one point in their trek, they gave up all pretense of seriousness and performed fake tumbles and corner look-arounds, so giddy and free with one another. The darker part of Gavin's mind took tabs on everywhere they went, piecing together his mental map of the base for future use - both in regard to whatever happened between he and Poe and for more militant strategies.

The moment they arrived at Dameron's room, the mood shifted. Jade eyes watched as the pilot's shoulders straightened and the hard lines of his muscles tensed. The General shifted into his own persona once more - head held cocked, back straight, wrists closer together for ease of restriction once the door closed and their game began again. Hux took two steps further into the room than the Commander and he heard the small beeps and clicks of the locks that allowed them complete privacy.

"So, Scum, whatever will you do?"

Their laughter and playful antics still resonated in Poe’s mind, even once he switched back into the other way of thinking. Darkness flashed over charcoal eyes once again as the corners of his lips twitched up into a heated smirk. “First order of business is to get you nicely restrained.” Without hesitation, not wanting his ‘prisoner’ to escape, Poe lifted him by the midsection and tossed him over his shoulder. Carrying him into his bedroom, he dropped Gavin, not so roughly, onto his back on the bed and crawled over him. Using his belt once more, he attached the redhead’s wrists together and tied them to his headboard, leaving him restrained. 

Poe, then, remained straddling his ‘prisoner’ and glared down at him with desire. “Now, General, I do believe I would like to hear you _beg_.” His body shivered slightly, either from the cold creeping down his spine from his wet clothes, or his arousal now fairly evident in his trousers. “Do you want freedom, General? Do you want me to let you go?”

Placing his hands low on Gavin’s stomach, he slid them up the cold and slender body, pressing down hard. “You better open up that pretty mouth of yours and let me hear what you’re capable of if you want me to undo your restraints.” His fingernails scratched around Hux’s nipples until both were hardened more than from just being cold. “C’mon, General Hux. What are you waiting for?” Gripping both between his thumb and his forefingers, he lightly twisted them, smirking wider.

Gavin shivered - not at his hands above his head, not at the cold, but at the sound of his true identity falling from his lover's lips. A cry escaped his lips as his nipples were teased and twisted and the lithe form automatically arched upwards into the touch. Green eyes glanced up to meet black - the fire in those dark orbs was nothing short of lustful and commanding and it made the General inside of Hux come to life.

"You want me to beg _you_? What a frivolous thought," the ginger growled back, sucking in a quick breath as Poe's fingers continued their torment. He rolled up slightly and tested the give on the belt. His heart throbbed - the restraint was tight, yes, but not enough so that he could not wiggle out of it, if he ever felt the need to. That little bit of consideration from the pilot, that small thought of caring for his well-being, brought a smile to his lips that he morphed into a sneer.

There was a thrumming that resonated throughout the paler man's body, a heat that almost felt like an itch under his skin. He steeled his expression, but kept the playfulness in his eyes as he faked a glare to send up at the curly haired man. "You want information? Get a better technique, I'm not talking, Pilot." One twist of fingers later, however, had Hux jerking his hips upward and trying to find friction as he bit back a pleasured moan.

“Tch, tch, tch…” Poe shook his head as his hips lifted up off of Hux’s body. He remained hovering above him so that his lover could not find the pressure he so obviously was searching for. “That’s no way to talk to the one in charge now, is it?” Poe’s fingers continued to twist and tease the already well hardened nipples, enjoying the way the pleasure so deliciously played across the redhead’s features. “Let me hear you beg for me, General. Show the Resistance Commander who’s in charge, hm?”

Smirking, he began to lower down his body, breathing warm gusts of breath over soaked clothing. “I have ways of getting the information that I seek, General Hux. Just you wait.” When he reached the clothed cock, he pressed a warm tongue against the wet denim, teasing his lover with his breath as well. “Beg for me, General. The Resistance wants to hear that pretty little voice.”

Even through the heat of their role-play, concern still etched the pilot’s features as he sat up enough to huff and sigh. “Pause…” He grumbled, needing time to undo the belt and Hux’s wrists so he could remove the soaking wet shirt. Last thing he’d want is for his lover to get ill after their first date, simply because he was too horny to remove the soaking wet clothes from his body.

A laugh falls from the ginger as he suddenly realized what was the sudden cause of the halt in their game-not-game. He helps pull his own shirt off before doing the same with Poe's. Pale fingers danced over the chilled skin of the pilot's chest before pushing the pilot back and away so that Hux could stand up off the bed. He unbuckled and unlooped his belt before glancing back at his lover.

"You, too," he snapped. "If you want me to dance around and tease you, ask again when I'm not in soppy clothes and already hard. Poe. Pants. Off. Now. We're both soaked."

Once he was devoid of wet fabric and obtrusive articles of clothing, Hux rubbed the warmth back into his arms and chest before laying back down where he was. While he wasn't entirely sure these respective roles were a good idea, he couldn't deny the heat he felt and the want that he had to continue. He would simply have to watch his tongue and make sure that he didn't slip up, again. Once was close enough. Arms raised above the General's head, crossing at the wrist. "Now, where were we?"


	25. It Didn't Matter

No matter how hard Poe tried to convince himself that he was the dominant one in the relationship, out of bed, Gavin was. Hands down. No questions asked. And without realizing it, Poe was up and shedding himself of the rest of his clothing as his lover demanded. But seeing the lithe, pale body stretched out on his bed, arms lifted and wrists crossed, waiting for their restraints, Poe fell back into the dominant, controlling role. He, once more, crawled over the taller name and straddled his chest. His cock resting right above Hux’s lips, he looked down with a smirk. 

“I do believe you were about to use that pretty little mouth to start begging, _General_.”

Once he had the belt re-secured, Poe began his descent down Gavin’s body. He licked at a pulse point just to tease, but not nibble. His tongue traced around a nipple, but not over. The pilot continued the mean little teases all the way down Gavin’s body until he reached his cock. 

“My, oh my… Look how hard the General of the First Order got for such a lowly, little Resistance pilot… Pathetic, hm?” His tongue flicked out against the slit in one quick, teasing swipe.

That struck very close to home for Hux and, while he grit his teeth around the groan that tried to escape him, he also bit off the immediate reply that wanted to crack against the pilot like a whip in the air. A frozen glare was sent down to the man between his legs and he turned his head away in mock shame as he slowly opened his legs further. Granted, at one point he probably should have stopped to actually _feel_ ashamed, but...

Hindsight and all.

"As pathetic as a Commander getting hard for a First Order General, don't you think?" Gavin couldn't stop the way his hips canted slightly against Dameron. "And I do believe, Pilot, that I was far from begging."

With his face still turned away the bite in his words was nonexistent - the sass, as always, was there, just under his put-upon tone, but there was no intent to hurt. There never was meant to be, no matter how they edged toward that place between reality and fantasy. One moment later and the General had to keep himself from arching his back.

“Ah. Pity. And here I was, thinking I would be able to take care of this,” he wrapped his lips around the redhead’s cock and gave one decently good suckle, “for you. Oh well.” Sighing rather dramatically, Poe sat back and simply stared down at Gavin. He wasn’t going to give in without at least a tiny bit of a fight from Hux. So Poe decided he would tease the fuck out of his lover if he had to. Even for one tiny little beg. For now.

Reaching out, Poe lightly brushed the tip of his finger all around the sensitive tip, barely making any contact. He watched the way Gavin’s stomach muscles tightened and admired the little twitch his cock gave from his teasing. He debated giving him a stroke or two to really get him going, but settled on running his finger along the overly sensitive slit.

When he produce a sticky drop, he pulled his finger back, watching the clear drop string between the pad of his finger and the recruit’s cock. “Look at that…” He mused, doing it again when another small drop pushed out. “You’re so turned on, aren’t you, General?” The Commander’s voice held a bit of amusement to it as he continued the faint touch of his fingernail around his lover’s tip. “Just think… One simple, small little beg and I can take care of this for you. You’re already stiff for me, General Hux. What more can you lose?”

Gavin jerked against the belt holding his wrists, pulling against their hold as his cock was teased. It would be easy to give in and let Poe give him all the pleasure possible, but that wasn't the game. It wasn't their style. No. They were the two people that all the recruits were talking about not as an item, but as two fighters in a ring. They were the perfect clash of moon and sun, thunder and lightening, eclipse and sunset.

Jade eyes slid closed as a broken, breathy noise finally tore its way out past pale, full lips. He fought back against his own twitching muscles and gentle shivers that caressed hid body. Hux would eventually give in, and both of them knew that, but that did not mean he would do so easily.

He would fight tooth and nail to keep the pleas that burned the back of his throat from coming out too soon.

"Less to lose and more to gain, Rebel," the ginger spat, acquiescing to part of the man's taunt. "But that does not mean I'll fold when I don't think you have a royal flush." Gavin rolled his body, turning his head back to gaze at his lover. He purposely softened his eyes and bit his bottom lip. "You could just let me go, Commander."

Poe’s head bounced from the left side to the right, then back again. His lips pushed out, he hummed, feigning deep thought. “Hmm. I _could_ , couldn’t I…” Then dark eyes snapped back down to jade. “But I won’t. Not now. Not soon… Perhaps, not ever. I’ve got you right where I want you, General Hux. And as it stands, there is absolutely _nothing_ you can do about it. How’s it feel to be stripped of all your power, hm? To be tied to a Rebel’s bed? Cock stiff, untouched? Bet you miss you precious little Order now, huh? Where are they, General? Are they going to allow you to rot here?” 

The Commander didn’t think he was going too far with his taunts; after all, they were playing that the General of the First Order was finally captured, right? He was simply going along with it. Using the moment to full advantage, considering he’d more than likely never even come in contact with the true General.

“Actually, come to think about it, there’s no reason why I should suffer simply because of your silly pride.”

At that, Poe spit into the palm of his hand then began to give his own throbbing cock swift tugs. Darkened eyes scanned every bit of exposed flesh that they could. In the position, Gavin’s scars were more than on display, but Poe found nothing unappealing about them; they were a part of his lover. A part that he would care for just like the rest of him. Lowering his gaze, he looked at the stiff prick standing at attention, waiting for contact. “Such a pity…”

The taunts darkened the look in Hux's eyes as the pilot's own onyx orbs scorched over his skin. A jade gaze flickered down to the hand that Poe had on his own cock before glaring back up at the Commander. Stripped of power and left to rot? Hardly. If anything, he was the one with all the power in the world. _He_ controlled what these Resistance scums thought of him - hid his identity under deceit and a pretty face.

The knives he could twist - the burning steel glowing brighter than any lightsaber - were in his hand, between his fingers, and ready to throw within seconds. He stopped himself short, hand ready and drawn back, his aim directly lined up with Dameron's beating heart.

"There is nothing silly about knowing that you are the best, Scum," the tone of Hux's voice was icy and he had to reel himself back in before things got out of hand. Stay in character, but don't _be_ the character. Bit by bit, the General let his cold anger dissipate and melt away. His eyes lowered to Poe's hand as it moved up and down over his length, putting himself on display as much as Gavin was.

He pretended to be ashamed of looking and let the next shiver that came over his body roam over his skin freely. He made a small sound as he lightly pulled on his restraints, again. There was still frost in his mind and snow on his breath as he watched his lover's hand moved once more, he fidgeted, trying to find a way to get friction when there was nothing there for him. He bit his lip with a whine. "Fucking pilot scum." He trembled again. "If you're looking, you might as well touch."

The Commander’s eyelids had started to get lazy as he stared down at the alluring body beneath him. Lips parted, he began to pant lightly, his hips lifting and pushing into his fist. “Mm, no… No, I’m fine just like this…” Clearing his throat, he flicked his tongue out to moisten his drying lips, then caught the plump swell of the bottom one beneath his teeth. “Mmmngh, fuck… Look at you.” The Rebel fighter’s words were whispered that time as he began to fall more and more out of character as the arousal surged.

“Shit…” Huffing, Poe began to jerk his wrist back and forth in a quicker manner, feeling his own cock leaking pre-cum. The added dampness gave his actions a slick sound as his hand ruthlessly pumped his length. “Doubt I’ll last much longer, General… Not with as gorgeous of a sight you are like that… Where should I cum, hm? You won’t beg for me. I could put your pretty mouth to better use.”

Just the thought alone had Poe whimpering and he leaned forward, moving his prick closer to the recruit’s mouth. “Nnngh, shit!! Mmngh, fuck..” He grunted, his hand now moving at a blurring speed. He didn’t plan on stopping. Not until he gained what it was he wanted from his lover. He’d finish right then and there if Gavin didn’t speak up soon.

"Maker! Okay, please!" The ginger's voice shook as much as the rest of him as he finally gave in. He shifted and writhed beneath the pilot, faltering between the role he was playing and the need to just drop everything they were doing and fuck. He could stand the Commander's teasing touches and the words that spiked his anger.

He couldn't take the way that Poe looked at him or the sound of his moans. Both of those broke through his resolve faster than he could fortify it. Long, pale legs tightened on either side of the tanned body between them, framing the man like a picture - a memento to never forget and always remember. He pulled once on the belt holding him before relaxing his shoulders and submitting to his lover completely.

Hux gazed up at Dameron with eyes filled with desire - sparks of determination and the constant, lingering deviousness still flickering there as well. "Commander, please!" He gasped out, just barely remembering that they were acting out roles. "I'll tell you whatever you want. I'll talk. Please, Force, just fuck me."

Once those erotic words tumbled past pale lips, Poe had to still his hand with a loud cry of ecstasy. Had he given himself just a couple more strokes, his seed would had covered his lover’s chest. Hearing Gavin plead like that nearly pushed the dark-haired lover over the edge, so he removed his hand with great urgency, panting heavily above the slim body. “Fuck… Te necesito,” he grumbled, trying to still the raging thumping of his heart. 

The Rebel worked rather quickly to prepare his lover’s body for him; wisely using that time to also bring himself down and away from his own release. His lubed fingers worked a little gentler than previous times, knowing Hux’s body was probably still sore from their round that morning, but the speed in which he moved never once faltered. When it felt like the lithe body was ready, Poe anxiously slicked his cock with the oils while using his other hand to selfishly undo the belt. 

“Tócame,” he growled as he pressed himself into his lover’s warmth. “Touch me…!” It was almost as though the Commander was in a frenzy now. He needed Gavin. He needed to unite with him, become one. Especially after the conversations they had that day, but more importantly, the jealousy he felt towards Rico and the way Hux made him feel during his lessons. As soon as he was fully inside his lover’s body, Poe took a moment and just stopped. His head tossed back, saturated curls clinging to his face, and he let out a deep, chest rumbling groan. 

“Quiero estar contigo para siempre,” the words, though spoken in a language Gavin would not be able to understand, were whispered before he could stop himself. Swallowing hard, the tanned loved began to rock his hips back and forward, relishing in the intoxicating sensations pounding his body from the tight warmth enveloping his cock. “Te sientes muy bien. Tan bueno...”

Hux cried out and shivered as the language moved over him and Poe moved inside of him. He didn't mind their game being dropped - in fact, part of him was rather glad, seeing how close he had gotten to showing the pilot exactly what kind of damage he could do with words alone. Shaking off the tingling and numb sensations in his hands, the ginger quickly did as he was told and what he had been yearning to do the moment that Dameron had started stroking himself. 

Fingers dragged over each line that the General could touch - muscles, bones, scars. He paid the pilot back for his teasing as Gavin rolled and lightly scratched his lover's nipples before moving his hands into dark locks of hair. 

It was true that he was still sore, and each thrust held an edge to it that made Hux shudder and groan. He was balanced on a tightrope between pleasure and pain and the deliciousness that came with that. The twisted sensations wrapped around him and he pulled his eclipse - this damn pilot with eyes like the black sun, skin like gold, and lips far too tempting for it to be fair - into a kiss. The lovers were pressed together as pale arms wrapped around broad shoulders and a lithe back arched upward.

Breathy noises broke their kisses as the redhead responded to each push into his body. The slighter man rolled his hips back against the thrusts, taking the other man's cock further into his body. Sparks danced behind his eyes as he had the distinct feeling that there was much more behind this joining of bodies than other times before. Hux broke them apart a few inches, keeping them close enough to share their breaths and stare into one another's eyes. "Ciod a rinn thu? Feachd, thuit mi mu thràth airson na sùilean agad." The intimacy of the moment clenched his heart. "Tha e a-mhàin beagan ùine, nach e? Tha mi airson innse dhuibh h-uile càil, fiù 's ged nach urrainn dhomh."

Those foreign words spoken so alluringly, blanketed by the thickened accent had Poe’s heart racing and thumping angrily against his ribcage. His head tossed back, his body arching as his thrusting increased with power and speed. “K-Keep talking, nnngh..! Keep talking to me!” The Commander’s words definitely held a whine to them as he whimpered and mewled, unable to quit making noises. His chest either rumbled with a growl or his throat tightened around a grunt; regardless, his room was quickly filling with the repetitive slapping of their bodies and their sensual noises.

In a sudden movement, Poe had them flipped over, now with him resting on his back and his lover straddling his body. Tanned hands gripped slender hips as he started moving Gavin’s weight back and forth in a frenzied grinding motion. “So close, baby… Mmngh, fuck…” With another whimper, Poe’s hips thrusted up in a manner similar to how he was fucking his lithe lover previously. “Tan cerca!!!” His teeth caught his bottom lip hard, clamping down enough to indent the flesh, but not break the surface.

Moving one hand up, his hips thrusted up once again while his hand tangled in soaked red locks. As the heat began to pool rapidly in his lower gut, Poe tugged the taller male down into a rough kiss. His other hand finally snapped into action and settled between their bodies, stroking Gavin’s cock in quick, uneven jerks. He wanted them to reach their peak at the same time, but with his growing faster and faster, he was already teetering on that edge of release.

As much as the ginger was willing to let his language spill from his lips around the pilot, his mind had quickly fogged over in a haze of bliss as each thrust hit his sweet spot again and again. Well, and deep kisses greatly hindered communication. The hand stroking Hux's cock jerked him closer and closer to the edge and try as he might to fight it, it was a losing battle.

"F-fuck! Please! Close!" The broken voice filled with desperation, a pitchy whine underlying it as Gavin pleaded for release. All of this - the intimacy, the warmth, the want to roll his body in ways that brought Poe just as much pleasure as the pilot was bringing him - all of it sent shivers down his spine and heat rushing through his veins. While the General knew he was going to have to ponder the implications of that carefully and separate the 'what ifs' from the 'how it is,' he would do it later. It didn't matter.

When he was with Dameron, it didn't matter.

The ginger snapped out of his thoughts with a cry and a jerk of his hips. The now erratic, rough thrusts mixed with his lover's grunts and moans and the pilot's hand on his cock sent him over the edge. His eyes closed as his body shuddered and he came with his lover's name falling from his lips.

The tightening of his lover’s body around his throbbing cock had Poe hissing and growling in a very animalistic way. His hips thrusted up once, twice more to draw his orgasm ever closer. Half-lidded eyes watched the cum painting his tanned stomach, giving him that final shove right over the edge. Anchoring Gavin down on his prick, Poe muffled his almost scream by tugging his lover into a deep kiss. His seed coated the inside of Hux’s body another time, pulling soft mewling sounds from the Commander.

“Nnngh, shit… F-Fuck, Gav…” He groaned loudly as he broke the kiss; a faint whimper rolling from his lips. The Rebel pilot made no effort whatsoever to remove the intoxicating weight from atop his flushed and lazy body. But instead, he gave his hips a few more subtle lifts, milking his cock for whatever essence remained inside of him. “I can’t get enough of you,” the pilot husked with a low, deep chuckle.

Onyx eyes, glossed over with lingering lust, stared up into the equally lidded jade eyes, the reflection of himself in the crisp, clear orbs forcing a deeper flush to Poe’s cheeks. “Tienes los ojos más bonitos del mundo,” the whispered words rolled out so effortlessly, the speaker behind them finding no courage to admit it aloud in a language that the both of them could understand. “No quiero que se vaya…” It was with a soft smile, and an equally as soft smile, that Poe lifted his head to place a few lingering pecks to exhausted lips. “Stay with me again tonight…”

The request brought two, very distinct, reactions to the ginger as he continued to try and riddle out what the pilot had said before giving up completely. The first was a thumping in his heart that spread warmth through his chest - the concept of actually being cared for, regardless of everything that had transpired between them already, was as foreign as the words that poetically fell from Poe's tongue. The second reaction was one of trepidation. The words 'too close' and 'remember who you are' raced around his mind and bashed against the inside of his skull.

It didn't matter. Did it matter? It mattered.

Hux shifted and shuddered again at the softening cock still pressed inside of him. He nodded in response. "Cha b 'urrainn mi gun aicheadh thu rud sam bith," he murmured. A jade gaze locked onto the belt that hung from the head of the bed. Too close. It was all getting too close. "Chan urrainn dhomh fuireach, ach chan eil mi ag iarraidh fhàgail thu."

A heavy sigh and a gentle kiss later, Gavin raised himself up and dismounted the Commander to instead curl up on his side beside Dameron. "Congratulations, Flyboy. You broke the General of the First Order," and how those words cut...too close...to the truth.

Hux lifting himself up caused the pilot to groan in disapproval; already, his body ached for the constraints, missed that warmth, and longed for the contact. But as the taller male settled beside him, curling against his side, Poe smiled. An arm instinctively wrapped around his lover’s body, holding him as close as he could without absolutely crushing the other male. “Good.” His response was stern, bold, almost. “Then let’s forget all out this stupid General, and focus more on Gavin, hm?”

It took Poe a bit of effort, but he managed to roll himself over onto his side without jostling his partner too greatly. Now pressed chest to chest, the Rebel Commander slung an arm over the lithe, flushed and sweaty body and nudged their foreheads together lovingly. “Not that this really needs to be said,” he chuckled lowly, brushing their noses together, “but thank the Maker you aren’t actually that stuffy asshole. Because then, I’d have to kill you. Not fuck you. And personally, I feel fucking you is a lot more pleasurable,” he laughed, pecking the paler but plump lips with his own.

“Mmmngh…” As Poe hugged Gavin tighter to his chest, a lazy smile spread over his lips. This… Everything that had fallen in place between them left him feeling so at ease. When they were together, Poe did not even think twice about the war building rapidly around them. The hustle and bustle the Commander normally held simply just wasn’t there. It wasn’t as though time stood still completely, but it certainly held a different pace to it. This, he could get used to. And that scared him. This, he was willing to ignore all of his duties and promises for. This… Was what, deep down, he wanted more than anything.

Hux desperately tried to stay floating in the waves of serenity and calm that he found himself in - that warmth that spread through him like stars in the sky - but the pilot's jest sent a cold chill through his body. He felt himself shiver and quickly pressed himself closer to the other, offering a softly spoken "cold" in explanation. Kill him. Not fuck him. Force, Gavin was killing them both, slowly, but their ranks and positions would keep them away from one another.

The Commander would never know just how incorrect his joke was or how true the General's words had been.

They would both just...disappear from one another's lives and Hux wasn't entirely sure that he would ever be able to come to terms with that because, above all else, this felt real. It felt safe. It felt like he belonged, here, wrapped up in Dameron's arms, not at the Resistance base. No. Never. The crumbling building mixed with too enthusiastic and naive people pretending to be soldiers was nothing near attractive.

The opposite, really.

The ginger hummed a lullaby from a time long lost, from nights before the war began and he was strung along from abuser to abuser. Regulation and order seemed to fade away into distant memory when he was with Poe, and Hux wasn't sure what that meant, but his curiosity had been piqued and he was surprisingly willing to see where it took them. "Let's focus on Gavin _and_ Poe. I rather like that guy."

Hearing the lullaby truly set the pilot into a state of utter relaxation. His eyelids had finished fluttering shut, his lips now held a very faint, lazy smile to them. “Mmm… This ‘Poe’ guy, hm? He’s caught your interest?” As the Commander speaks, his eyes refuse to open. Blindly leaning in, he manages to press a gentle kiss to the corner of his lover’s mouth. “Must be some damn special guy if he’s got the attention of someone like you.”

They had just had sex; explosive, amazing sex. Perhaps something deeper than just great sex. Regardless. But still, it made Poe’s heart race to hear Hux proclaim his attraction towards him. It was most certainly a welcomed change from hearing the recruit express how much he previously disliked him. The thought alone brought out a soft chuckle from the pilot’s lips.

“Tell me more about this ‘Poe’ guy, yeah? What about him gets you going? But… Most importantly...” He cracked an eye at that, his mouth now twitching up into a smirk. “Tell me how gorgeous he is.” His words only held a slight hint of a tease to them.

"Well, I don't know if gorgeous is the word I'd pick for him. He is...complicated," Hux whispered back. "He's more special than he knows. More than he's willing to admit to himself. And...he's sad, I think, even when he's around other people." His tone was soft, shifting everything he had to bite back during their 'role play' from daggers to feathers. "His eyes are what get me. At first glance, they seem so monochromatic. It's only when you gaze into them that you see their depth. See...this Poe...he holds the galaxy in his eyes."

The ginger shifted to press another kiss to the pilot's cheek, then one to his jaw. He moved, somehow, so that he could sit up and run pale fingers though dark, wet locks. Jade eyes trailed over the Commander in a visual caress.

"I'm not sure I'm quite the catch that Poe was expecting, probably be cause I didn't expect it either," Gavin gently added, his voice barely audible. "In a way, I think Poe saved me from myself, but not in the way he thinks he did. But he'll understand that one day." Leaning down, he whispered against his lips. "Do you think this guy - and trust me, he has a cocky streak that would put the leaders of the First Order to shame - but...do you think this guy's likes me, too?"

One difficult feat was to get the Rebel pilot to just shut up, but Gavin seemed to have that ability down to a fine art by now. With both eyes opened, Poe watched his recent lover as he spoke, taking the opportunity to simply admire that alluring accent. He watched every shape pale lips made as they formed words, then watched the mischievous glint flicker over green eyes. Everything about this man was just too inviting to ignore, so before Poe spoke, he leaned into that small space between them to place a quick peck to Hux’s mouth. 

“You know,” the Commander began, feigning deep thought. “I kind of get that vibe that maybe Poe _is_ into you…” He nodded as he hummed slightly, one eye squinting while the opposite quirked its brow. Lips pursed tightly together, he shrugged. “I don’t see why, I mean. You’re sarcastic. Snarky. Perhaps a bit snobby at times.” 

But before Hux could cut off his teasing jest, Poe silenced his potential remark with another kiss.

“But..! Let’s see. He’s got this obsession with green, and quite frankly, your eyes are _just_ the perfect shade for him to notice. Something he probably noticed very early on… Because they aren’t just this subtle, plain, boring ole shade of green. No. They hold this depth to them with various shades that give light to whatever emotion you’re feeling. And, not that he’d ever admit it, but he finds the stark contrast between your bright hair and pale skin quite possibly the biggest turn on he’s come across in a very long time.”

Poe now had a large, wide grin spread across his lips.

“I guess he can handle the snarky remarks for such a trade-off. So, to answer your question… Yes, this ‘Poe guy’ likes you very, _very_ much. Don’t ask him though. He’d probably deny it as much as he possibly could.”

A soft smile led to a soft kiss, which led to a dance of tongues in slow motion. The ginger dropped his weight downward onto his elbows, pressing close once more to the man who had him so off-kilter. He needed to think - needed time to step back and realize that he was falling so out of line that he would have been sent to reconditioning, even though he was immune to that.

It didn't matter. It did. It didn't.

Not now.

"I don't think anyone has ever accused me of being subtle," the General laughed as he pulled away from Poe. This was easy - being close to the Commander, taking in the hard lines and blended edges that made up his handsome features. He was so opposite the redhead in almost every way and perhaps that what drew Hux to him so fully.

Because Dameron was free. He was unconstrained. He had the option to be himself or to be someone else. He was the road not taken - the path that stemmed off the beaten path and led to something that was entirely new. "Well, if this guy I'm thinking of likes me as much as you say he does, then maybe I should tell him how I feel. Because as much as I will fight tooth and nail to never let anyone know this - I'm so infatuated by him, so drawn to him. He makes it hard for me to think and to keep my head straight because I would much rather just focus on him."

Another press of lips, and the ginger was moving away once more. He rolled so that his back was facing the pilot and he glanced over his shoulder with a look of 'well, what are you waiting for?' Green eyes flickered from black orbs to his own pale waist and back up again. A silent demand - come here, get closer.

Normally a very bright man, sharp witted and able to perform exceedingly well under pressure, Poe Dameron was not a man who could easily understand subtle hints. He frowned, quite childishly, much like a small kid who got a favorite toy taken away, when Hux rolled from his warmth and settled a bit further away on the bed. The pilot was tempted to retort and make a snide little comment that stemmed from his pouting, when he finally processed the silent, taunting call given out by his lover; that brought his smirk back. 

It was obvious that this fiery recruit had an odd pull over the Commander. But at the moment, Poe had no desire to argue with any logic or fight through anything requiring any type of thinking. For now, he had a warm body to hold that actually wanted him around. That, alone, was good enough of an explanation for Dameron.

Huffing, though very playfully, Poe scooted forward, silently cursing himself for having a larger bed. Granted, with as much as he had been flipping them around during sex, they would have toppled over onto the floor more than once, if he were to have a bed any smaller. Still, the size gave his playful partner more room to get away from him in. 

“C’mere, you.” He teased as he pressed his broad chest to the smaller framed back. Strong arms wrapped securely around Gavin's body as he pulled him close, not an ounce of space left between them. Leaning in, he pressed a kiss to the dip in the side of Hux’s neck, allowing his lips to linger there for a moment longer than normal; anything to secure himself longer contact with his redheaded lover. 

Smiling, the Rebel fighter nuzzled his partner… Dare he say boyfriend at this point…? And placed another peck to his warm, pulsating flesh. “That’s good to know. And I’ll make sure this ‘Poe’ guy finds out. Because at this point, I can easily guess that he is far more than infatuated with you too. Even if you drive him absolutely insane in one sense of the word in public, then in another way in private.”

With a snicker that was dipped in devious intent, Hux glanced over his shoulder. "Is that so? Hm, I must have a lot of sway over this man," he taunted the pilot, content were he lay wrapped up in the other man's arms. "I'll have to be cautious. I wouldn't want to get those insanes mixed up. It would make for quite the public spectacle and rather irritating private times." His head dropped down against the pillow beneath it, body relaxing in his lover's - that is the correct term, right? We're they more than that? They couldn't be less...

Gavin wasn't sure he wanted to have that conversation, now. Not when he was more than happy to just cuddle up with the other man and let sleep overtake them. Or perhaps cuddle for a while, shower, and then fall asleep together. That would be the cleaner option and the one that is much less...sticky.

But he really didn't want to separate from the curly haired Commander. Rather, he wanted to hold onto this moment with his eclipse for as long as possible, and if that meant sacrificing a midnight shower for just one in the morning, well, he could find a way to live with that. Besides after everything - dancing in the rain, almost giving himself away, the role play, the intimacy, the admittance of secrets - he was exhausted.

There was a slight furrow to the ginger's brow as he thought back on Dameron's words. "More than infatuated?" Hux asked softly, apparently not knowing that having relationship talks when already depleted of energy was not a good form of rest and relaxation. But he was curious, like a child who saw their birthday present, beautifully wrapped, in their parents' closet.

“Mmmhm…” Allowing his eyes to shut lazily, Poe made no more effort to explain his exclamation. Now certainly wasn’t the proper time to discuss anything involving emotions. Of course, right after sex, he’d be feeling insanely attracted to his partner. Things could change greatly once that euphoric high wears down and emotions settle back into normal place. Poe knew that to be incorrect, however. He knew, even when Gavin was sitting at the back of his classroom giving him hell, just being his usual fiery self, that his feelings were still there.

No… Hux definitely had him hooked. Mentally, physically, sexually… Every fiber in his body.

“I warned you not to ask him, because he would deny it, didn’t I?” With a low chuckle, Poe buried his nose in the back of the damp red hair and inhaled softly. The recruit’s personal scent clung to the inside of his nostrils, giving his heart another flutter. It felt strange to know their little secret relationship would be put on hold every time they had to part to carry on with their normal day-to-day lives. It would be helluva lot easier if they were to just establish whatever the hell they were and come clean with those around them.

Easier for them, but fatal in the end, more than likely.

A Commander could not show favoritism towards a recruit. Poe could not show favoritism towards Hux. It just could not happen. The more he thought about it, the more confused with it all he was becoming. They went on a date, so technically they were dating. But if they were to step it up even further… A different title. An established relationship… Sighing softly, Poe tightened his grip around his lover’s body. Those were concerns that could be pushed aside for another time. A different conversation. Right now, he wanted to just remain blissfully unaware in the moment and relish in the warmth and comfort the ginger’s body brought him. Why complicate things with titles?

Because he wanted to know. He _needed_ to know. And that bothered him.

The stronger hold that wrapped around the slighter frame gave little comfort to the war raging on inside of Hux's mind. Conflicting feelings of what may or may not happen that brings whatever this relationship was to an end bounced in his mind. They had an end date - this would expire, there was no doubt about that - it was just unknown to him as of yet. But when Snoke called him back, the General would go to him. When his mission was completed, there was no reason to risk having a high ranking officer standing amidst a misfit band of rebellious toy soldiers.

As for Poe, however, which was worse in the end? Knowing or not? Would it be easier to not just cut ties with the pilot but sever them completely?

Did he not say, be it in the heat of the moment or not, that if Hux were a leader of the First Order, then he would have to kill him, not fuck him?

The ginger shifted so that one of his arms fell down to lay on top of Dameron's. Dark and light. It all came back to that simple concept - that stark line between them. The king of the skies verses the king of the stars. Pale fingers drew circles across his lover's skin. As much as he wanted to press for information and to see precisely where this relationship stood between them, part of him already knew that it would be easier if there were no commitments or titles or attachments.

He didn't want that, but it was true.

A huff and a backward press. Hux's body slotted against Poe's like they were made for each other - the puzzle was different, now. Jumbled in a cacophony of colors that could not be arranged back into their normal, organized state. What was he doing? Jade eyes slid closed, forcibly shutting off the rest of the world. "You can deny all you want, Flyboy. So long as I know what's happening in your mind, I don't need you to say a word."


	26. Are We?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading!
> 
> You're awesome and we love you lots and lots and lots!
> 
> -Hux and Poe

“Oh, believe me doll...” A low, chest rumbling chuckle rolled past parted lips, muffled into the back of Gavin's head. “If you knew _half_ of what was running through my mind right now...” He’d jump out of bed and run for the hills, more or less. The Commander allowed his words to drift off into another subtle chuckle, not wanting Gavin to believe him mental or worry about him living too much in his own thoughts once more. "Well. Let’s just leave it at ‘be glad you don’t know what’s circling my mind right now’.”

Truly, though, with as many thoughts as he had bombarding him and forcing scenarios into his mind that he did not find appealing, Poe kind of wished that he could disappear from his own mind. Mental images of Leia finding out, or Rhys, or the squad, other recruits… Every different scenario had a multitude of possible outcomes. Some great, some decent, some that had him more nervous about this building relationship than he should be. Granted, if he would only stop stressing about all of it.

“Ey. You’re not planning on falling asleep yet, are you?” The smirk returned to the pilot’s lips as he gave his lover’s a playful jostle, moving his lips to the side of his neck. “Nuh uh, kiddo. No sleeping. We’ve got all day tomorrow to sleep. You’re welcome, by the way. So c’mon. Wake up.” Even though he placed several lingering kisses to the warm and pulsating flesh, teasing his partner to stay awake, Poe kept his eyes lazily shut, refusing to open them again for anything.

"I'm awake," Hux mumbled, jade eyes cracking open slightly as if to prove his point. No matter how mentally drained the evening had left him, sleep was not on his mind. Not yet. Not when he could instead spend their fleeing time wrapped up in intimacies and each other. "And I'm welcome, am I?"

Pale arms pulled apart the tan ones holding him in place as the ginger shifted and rolled until he was lying on his opposite side, facing the pilot. The General smirked, forcing his mind to come back to life on a second wind. Gavin raised a hand and gently rested it on Dameron's face.

"Thank you, love, for letting the class predictably decide to have a day off from listening to you talk," he kissed away any retort that Poe might have come up with. Hux broke from the pilot's lips before pressing a few pecks against the plump mouth. "It's nice to know that I don't have to sneak back before the sun comes up." He wished that this wasn't as complex as it was...more, a revision, he wished they they were free to be _them_ and to see where this could go if it was given months...years, even...to cultivate.

After a few long moments of silence, Gavin hummed, eyes boring into the endless dark depths before him. "I think I could tell you what's going on in your mind. I think you'd be surprised as how close my thoughts are to your own. Here. Now." Another kiss, his hand slides down to rest over a beating heart. The drum of life. Proof that all of this was happening and not just an odd dream that he fell into. "Do me one more favor and put me in the last slot for flight lessons. I'd much rather not be endlessly questioned about who sassed who the most."

The heavy warmth of Gavin’s hand over his heart had Poe glancing down between their bodies. There was just a stark contrast of the two; pale against tan. Like the dark waves of the ocean crashing over sandy white beaches. Sometimes angry and full of severe emotion, other times subtle and gentle. The two never remaining long together, but forever destined to meet time and time again, regardless. Poe smiled at the thought and rested one of his own hands over Hux’s, pushing harder against the warmth feeling the thumping of the pulsating muscle. 

“I can think of other reasons to reserve you til the very end,” the Commander only half teased. He leaned in, lips slotting against the others, for a very brief, but deeply sensual kiss. “Tell me more about this beach house.” The sudden change of conversation came with a more curious than sarcastic tone. He recalled Hux mentioning it during the worst of the storm, and quite frankly, it had the Rebel fighter a little more than intrigued. Especially if Gavin were to mention that he still had access to it.

Poe had never known a time without living with the Resistance, other than when he was very young and living with his family. As soon as his mother passed away, his father packed up all their things and returned to the cause in full swing. Poe’s only known fighting and running since. Even when he grew old enough to branch away, pave his own paths, before ultimately returning in the end.

"The..." Hux trailed off at the abrupt conversation change. It had been a while since he visited the manor they had, there. "It's my mother's, not my father's. He never went there. It's a place that's been handed down through her family for generations. If you think of the word mansion, you've basically got a picture of it. Two stories with massive windows and stained wooden accents to bring out the rest of the house's beauty."

A nostalgic twist of pale lips both softened and shrunk the smile that was etched onto the ginger's face. Images flashed into his mind. He remembered that his favorite time to look at the home was at night, with all the lights on, because it reminded him of a ship at sea or a lighthouse that guided people back to safety and shore. He lost himself in memory - flashes of the past zipped and danced before his eyes until he remembered that he was answering a question and he snapped out of it and continued.

"It's on the top of a slope overlooking the ocean on one of the private islands on Spira. No one goes there, except the cleaning crew, and no one lives there except when we would call the chef to be there before any of our trips," Hux shook his head slightly as he relaxed with a dream-like softness over his features. "There was greenery all around it and paths that led straight to the shore. And the view was gorgeous. Oceans in every direction and only the distant outlines of other islands on the horizon. My mother and I used to go down and sleep on the beach, when the weather was good and we'd play in the waves come morning."

A pause. A memory. A thought.

"I have the keys to it, now. Though my mother still has access to it, as well, but she rarely goes there. Life keeps her busy," the General trailed into silence as he finally focused again on the pilot before him. "You'd love the sunsets, there."

Gavin’s words brought about a warm sense of home to the Commander. He could easily hear how much Hux enjoyed that beach house, just by the slight inclination of pitch that formed his words. As he spoke, Poe allowed his eyes to slip shut, giving him more of a chance to properly picture everything that was described, right down to the salty gusty of sea air. The Rebel fighter had only experienced a beach once before in his life and it wasn’t even for enjoyment. It was simply a place to land his craft stealthily without disturbing the natural inhabitants of the planet. There was no building sandcastles, no playing in the waves, no soaking up sun; nothing.

“I’d like to go there one day with you.”

The words had drifted dreamily from Dameron’s mouth before he could stop them. For some reason, the exclamation left him feeling embarrassed and blushing, like he had just accidentally voiced some deep, dark secret. He hushed up after that, not daring to crack an eye to glance at the mocking stare he was so certain he was receiving from the redheaded recruit. But with a sigh, Poe shrugged it off. Why hide it? Why wouldn’t he feel compelled to stay in such an extravagant sounding home with his lover while enjoying the freedom to do as they wish? To jump into the surf and watch the sunset together, only to wake up and watch the sunrise?

“How long has it been since you’ve been there?” He asked softly, feeling a warm pull towards his lover. Not physically. But something within him is longing for more from Gavin Hux, the snarky recruit who knew how to push all the wrong buttons, yet all the right ones at the same time as well.

A small shrug answered the question. It was difficult to say because there were two answers that would suffice. The last time Hux vacationed there was years ago, before he rose to the rank of General. However, he had escaped for brief moments of recluse to gather himself and get away from the stress and the associates he had to deal with on a constant basis. It was the perfect little hideaway that no one knew about, where he could walk along the shoreline and feel the sand on his bare feet and just forget for a little while that there was a war raging around them.

"Isn't there a break from classes coming up? Or a long weekend where recruits leave the base?" The ginger carefully asked. "If you'd still like to...perhaps we can go then."

If they still liked each other, if they hadn't leapt at one another's throats, if Poe hadn't realized, then, just how deep Hux's deception went and how tangled his life was with the First Order. It wasn't far away - just a few weeks, because apparently that's how long it takes for the Resistance's recruits to wear out...pathetic - but, with them, everything could shift into or out of place within the span of a few hours.

Gavin bit his lower lip. Was that offer too much for the couple-not-couple? Was he presuming too much and asking for more than what was offered? He'd have to make sure that the grounds were unoccupied. As much as he enjoyed their hired hands and gourmet chef, the last thing he needed was to be called by a title that gave away his identity. At this point the beach house was basically his and one day it would be legally owned by him as well, when he was willed it, what was the harm of getting away and recollecting himself with the Commander as his guest?

"Just food for thought."

Even though the Commander’s face went blank, maybe even expressionless, his mind was far from void. His eyes dulled with their natural heat as he focused on the offer thrown out there. It was what he wanted, yeah? Did he not just admit that he would enjoy visiting the recruit’s beach house someday? So why did the suggestion suddenly force his heart into a rhythm that would make the beat of a fast pace Tango jealous? Licking his lips, the pilot slowly nodded. “Yeah, yeah… Yeah, no, I..”

Damn. How would he spin that? How could he possibly ask General Organa for some time away? With everything progressing as it was, new informants popping up every day with information on their enemy… Who knew when the next attack would be? Would he be able to live with himself if something happened to his comrades while he was off gallivanting along some shore with his recruit by his side?

“Yeah, wow.” Finally, Dameron’s face lit up once more to its regular, normal look. Or, at least normal for when it was only him and Hux. “I’ll have to take a look at the schedules coming up, maybe move a few things around. But I don’t see why we can’t figure _something_ out.” His lips now spread wide into a grin, Poe leaned in to press a sensual kiss to his lover’s mouth. “Only problem,” he continued though with a bit more concern to his voice, “will be trying to get Leia to agree to it. Suppose I can convince her of some mission to gather information or something… Who knows. Maybe along the way there, we’ll get some First Order dirt from one of their losers,” he smirked, kissing the corner of Hux’s lips.

The ginger let the jab at the First Order slide, for the time being. If they did come across an informant, he would be interested in their name and face and whatever it was they were willing to tell the Resistance. He wasn't entirely sure if he'd be able to hold back his blaster 'accidentally' going off and putting an end to the hypothetical traitor, but, well, they would see. The way his heart fluttered threw off any remaining drowsiness that was threatening to take over.

This was all happening so fast, but it felt like it was perfectly right. It felt like, if the pace was at all slower, neither man would be interested in this thing between them - not to say that they were only in it for the bouts of sex, but that they would much rather tango than stand and sway back and forth. Gavin pressed forward to playfully bump his nose against the pilot's, smiling at the idea of being alone with him in a place where they didn't have to pretend that nothing was growing between them, a place where they would be free to be _with_ one another, instead of just _near_ one another.

"From what your General has told me, she might agree if you just say that you'd be going with me," Hux chuckled, initiating another languid kiss, the soft smack of their lips taking up the air between them. "You could just tell her the truth." The tease in his voice and the glint in jade eyes were all the warning needed to tell the pilot that whatever was coming next was to be full of snark and not at all the truth he was thinking of. "I'm a better strategist than you, and that include blueprints for your X-Wing. We're going on a trip to gather supplies for you to implement the necessary changes."

Curiosity flitted over Dameron’s eyes as he processed what Hux had suggested. He began to give a quick nod, unable to deny that the plan did, in fact, seem rather foolproof. But his lips pursed together and eyes narrowed. “What exactly have you and General Organa spoken of?” It seemed rather obvious that a conversation about himself was brought up. But _what_ exactly? What did Leia have to say about him that needed to be said to the recruit? 

Sure, Leia had a conversation with him regarding Hux, but circumstances were different… Right…? Had the fiery pilot-to-be gone to the General with the hopes of transferring to another squad? The thought made him frown and sent an angry rabble of butterflies to flight in his stomach. It dawned on him that he didn’t even want to contemplate the idea of Hux seeking another instructor. No, it bothered him too deeply. Which in turn, bothered him even more.

“Come to think of it, I’d rather not know.”

Forcing any sort of negative thought far into the shadows of his mind, Poe allowed a faint smile to resurface. He rolled until he was resting on top of his slender lover’s body, forearms pressed down into the bed as he hovered on top of him. 

“Let’s just say, hypothetically, Leia allows me to leave. You do realize how much rearranging that would take of my schedules, yeah? I’ve got more duties around this place than to bring you misfits up into the skies with flight lessons,” the pilot chuckled, leaning in to place a long-lasting peck to Gavin's mouth. “There’s a war raging on, doll. But…” His smile only increased, “I’m willing to give it a shot. There’s no hurt in asking, right? But only on one condition.” 

Clearing his throat, Dameron rolled once more, this time off the bed and into a standing position. 

“You ask Leia.”

Hux sat up immediately. No. Terrible idea. She was Luke Skywalker's sister and, while it was not broadcast as much as her brother's achievements, she was probably strong with the force and an extremely good judge of character. More - she was the General of the Resistance. Putting her and the ginger in a room together was basically asking for an interrogation and a battle of minds.

If he had wanted to be discovered, he could just hold up a sign that says 'Hello, my name is First Order Spy', he didn't need to test his luck with someone as renowned as Leia Organa. He had already done that once.

"What? What do you mean I ask her? You're the one asking for a vacation, _Doll_. My time off is already written into the schedule," he snapped back. With a sigh, the ginger shuffled his way to the edge of the bed, where he sat before the pilot. "And, whether you say that you don't want to know, you're curious. She pulled me aside the day you left on that mission and said she thought you and I would make a good team, if we ever realized that we had more in common than we did different."

Pale hands reached out to interweave Hux's fingers with Poe's.

Jade and onyx danced in their gaze as they both fell into their own thoughts. The General had no intention of putting himself so out in the open as asking Leia to borrow her favorite pilot. He was a strategist, yes, but he also knew that getting that close was basically surrendering himself to the powers that be.

And he knew the fate that awaited him if he was found out. A tortured, interrogated life in the Resistance with hopes that he was never rescued, for the pain that would await him at Snoke's hand.

"I'll ask her. But you have to be there, too," Hux stated. "It would be odd if I requested your presence alone."

Would it be damaging to Dameron’s self-esteem if he were to verbally admit that he looked up to General Organa as a motherly figure and was honestly a bit nervous at the prospect of asking her for a bit of time away? Probably. To Poe, it felt more like being a young teen asking to spend the night at his new boyfriend’s house while the parents were away. Granted, Leia knew not a thing of what sparked between them, they were all grown adults, and he wasn’t a prisoner to the cause. But still. It made the Commander frown just thinking about it.

“I guess… If you think this is something you can’t handle on your own; oh great strategist.” Winking down at his lover, Poe rolled his eyes playfully and took a few steps towards his dresser. Still tucked away in the top drawer where he left it last time they were together, Poe removed his datapad and made swift movement back to the bed. After he sat, legs stretched out before him and back pressed against the headboard, he patted the space before him, wanting Gavin to sit there, leaning back against him. “Help me figure this out if you’ve got such a brilliant mind then.”

A few clicks here and there led the Rebel fighter to a calendar. As it opened, a holograph projected a much larger version of it on his wall and dark eyes quickly narrowed on it. Every box sectioned off for certain time frames had the pilot’s own messy handwriting scrawled inside, jotting down tasks and deadlines. 

“See… If we just move this _here_ ,” he mumbled, using the datapad to begin moving things around, frowning in concentration as he did so. “No, see… That won’t work. That completely fucks with _this_ …” Sighing, he glanced back up at the wall, his bottom lip catching between his teeth in a nibble.

"Have you ever heard the word 'organization'? Do you know what it means?" The General's words were only half in tease as he looked at the image projected before them. His eyes rolled.

If there was one thing in this galaxy that Hux knew how to do, it was time management. Scheduling meetings, attacks, routine check-ups, and time to deal with Kylo Ren's tantrums was more second nature to him, now, than he would ever want to admit. He took the datapad away from the pilot, leaning further against him as he scanned the calendar and read each note for the details he needed. No. No, no, no. This wasn't going to work at all.

The General brought up a blank calendar, displaying it side by side with the cluttered one on the wall. Bit by bit, he recreated each notification, moving them around as he saw fit. He hovered over one note that must have been made after the first day of class that simply read ' _Recruit Holiday: Freedom from the Red Menace_ '. He shot a look at his lover as he pointedly deleted the note.

Neater handwriting and decluttering made the newer version of Dameron's schedule much easier to move around. "That's unnecessary. That and that can flip--wait, no, that one can flip with this one." The ginger was completely focused on the task at hand, flipping between days and events to move and manage and edit.

"Congratulations, Poe, you suddenly have break off," Hux sassed as he handed the tablet back to its owner. "Feel free to take lessons from me."

The entire time Gavin fussed around with his schedule, Poe sat there completely enthralled. He leaned forward, his chin settled on the pale shoulder, and watched in silence, only offering his two cents when absolutely needed. There was no denying it; Hux would make a phenomenal strategist. He managed to rearrange things not only to clear up time for their little impromptu holiday, but also in a way that didn’t thoroughly jam up his days. There was still time in between certain action items that needed to be handled in a timely manner, but not to the point where he’d be left scrambling and panicking about meeting deadlines. 

Poe was convinced that somewhere in their deepening connection, the fiery recruit owned a chisel. He could almost _feel_ Hux chipping away at the ice that had developed around his persona. For too long, the Rebel pilot had allowed his despair to build up that safety wall around himself in hopes of never subjecting himself to such hurt again. And within a matter of a few heated, angry encounters, it seemed he had met that one person who could bring him back to where he previously was. The fiery being of his lover was not only chiseling away at that ice one stroke at a time, but melting it away as well, exposing more and more of the true Commander in the process. 

“Huh…” Dark eyes continued to study the calendar still projected onto the wall, reading over every little change, admiring the smooth, fluid lines of the recruit’s writing. Such a vast difference between what was and what is currently. Turning his head, Poe placed a gentle kiss to his lover’s neck, his lips spreading into a smile before he even pulled away. 

“So this is going to happen,” he chuckled lowly as he quit broadcasting the projection and clicked his datapad off. After tossing it to the foot of the bed, Poe lifted a hand to brush through drying red locks. His lips continued to kiss and suckle at the warm, already marked flesh. “You and I are going to run off into the sunset to a private house along the beach. And here I was just recently trying to escape you,” the pilot teased as his teeth nibbled against his lover’s ear, breathing warm gusts over the area.

A shudder ran through the ginger's body as breath and teeth and lips teased one of his ears. "The house is big enough," Hux sassed. "You can still escape me in it." He leaned further back against the pilot, relaxing and fully settling as the man held his hair and his body. "But, yes, this is happening."

Should it happen? That was the question that still plagued the General. The obvious answer was 'no, of course not, none of this should be.' But, then, another voice rose in argument - 'you're finally yourself. He's saving you from you. For the time being, let him. Go back to the Finalizer cold once more, but don't lie to yourself.' Gavin had always been good at lying to himself. It was often easier than facing the truth. The reality was this: he _should_ return to the Finalizer for those days, but instead he was planning to run away with a Resistance Commander to his own home. However, if Snoke gave him an order, that would be that - he'd drop everything and follow what was demanded of him by his superior.

Thoughts for another time.

Hux shifted and twisted until he could match gazes with Dameron. With a small smile that held much less teasing in it than normal, he whispered, "all that's left is getting you that time off, and I think that'll be simpler than you believe." Green eyes glinted with a spark of deviousness. "After all, I'm very talented with my tongue."

A deep groan resonated in the pilot’s throat at that remark. Damn right, Hux was talented with his tongue. In more ways than one. A jolt of arousal shot straight through Dameron’s body as he tightened the grip in the hair and pulled him into a rough kiss. To put that previous statement to use, Poe forced Gavin’s lips apart with his own mouth as he shoved his tongue in. Wrapping both arms around the slender body now, Poe maneuvered them, never once breaking the kiss, so that they were lying side by side in the bed once again. 

“Mmngh, damn…”

Poe broke the kiss with a slight whimpered sound. There was a part inside of him that still did not want to accept what was transpiring between the both of them. The same part that wanted him to freeze himself back over and cut himself off to the recruit. But at the same time, he felt himself warming up more to those around him. His smile remained for longer moments of time, his confidence was resurfacing as more prideful and less cocky. 

“Can I ask you a question? And get an honest answer in return? No snark, no sarcasm.” Poe gave his partner a pointed look, knowing sarcasm was Hux's most fluent language. “Am I too harsh on you guys?” There was a time when recruits _wanted_ to be a part of his squadron. When lessons were enjoyable and he looked forward each morning to joining with the recruits for the day. “I mean… What are they _saying_ about me? About my lessons?” The ones he’s attended, at least.

For once it wasn't the shift in gravity that made Hux have to regain his surroundings. What were the recruits saying about the lessons? What did that matter? They were here to be trained into soldiers, not to be coddled. It shouldn't make a difference if the weak links broke and fell away, because that would make room for the stronger recruits to grow. They were, after all, just pawns in a master game of chess between the light and dark sides.

"I'll answer you, but do you really think that there will be a lack of sarcasm?" Hux stated more than asked. He shrugged. "They're intimidated by you, but respect you. They know your reputation, but that doesn't exactly ease their worries." He pressed a soft kiss to his lover's lips.

He knew the situation well - the split between a militant persona and what lied beneath. The struggle between wanting to protect oneself and wanting connection. It was lonely at the top, but it was better that way. The General never went out of his way to make friends or to seem at all human around his associates, be it on or off duty...sometimes to a point that he forgot himself and stood above all as nothing more than a ranking officer with no substance.

"They know you're a Commander. If it bothers you, then show them Poe Dameron as well," the ginger concluded. "If it doesn't, then pay it no mind."

Show them Poe Dameron… That’s what he _used_ to do. Back before everything changed. “I don’t know,” he mumbled with a sigh, letting his thoughts overtake him once more. The Commander was very much stuck in a ‘everyone dies eventually, so what’s the point,' kind of rut. It was a pathetic, useless kind of rut to be in, but then again, no rut was perfect. It was part of that attitude that turned him into such a valuable asset to the Resistance. He had accepted, finally, that nothing in life was permanent, that nothing about living was guaranteed. Losing Adrian had opened his eyes in more ways than one. He wasn’t afraid of death any longer. He didn’t bend his actions around to the thought of needing to return home to somebody. 

In the beginning, he was chided as being reckless, too carefree. But over time, Poe was able to blend that into his personal style. He lived for the danger and the adrenaline it brought. It became second nature to him, allowing him that ability to make such drastic decisions in the heat of the battle. 

But at the same time, his devil-may-care lifestyle began to wear down on him. He had managed to convince himself that he was only in it for the fight. And if he were to die in the fight, he wouldn’t care. It started to turn him bitter. Others noticed the change in him. Poe went from that cheerful, wonderful, everyone-wanted-to-know man, to the depressed, heart broken and pathetic mess, back to a man being cheered on by many, to a cold, distant fighter.

It was at that point that Poe turned to his vice. It was then, that he discovered a way to bring back that rush and warmth and adrenaline. Wrong as it may have been, it was needed more than anything else at that point. But it only led him to shut himself off from most everyone he came in contact with. The recruits quit looking forward to being trained by _the_ Poe Dameron, and he quickly lost his enjoyment with it.

Then in came Hux who somehow worked his way through all of that to begin digging that man out of the darkness that overtook him. Poe didn’t know how, nor did he care to question it any further. What mattered, was Poe was starting to look forward to mornings, again. He felt he had a much better connection with his recruits during the lesson that morning. 

“Perhaps I’ll show them the Poe Dameron that _you_ know.” The teasing jest finally fell from the Commander’s lips as they spread wide into a smile. Turning his gaze to his lover, Poe studied him for a moment; the man that was beginning to bring that much needed light back into his life, almost as quickly as turning on a simple switch.

Jade eyes glanced to the smile forming on the pilot's lips before meeting the dark gaze once more. And there it was. There was the look that drove away all of Hux's questionings, all of his doubts, and made him unafraid of the downward fall he had found himself in. A pale hand rose to trace along Poe's jawline - winter's snow dragging against golden, summer light.

"Well, perhaps not the one _I_ know. Not completely," the response was joking, but had an edge to it. "I'm not good with sharing my boyfri--"

A blush lit up the ginger's features as his eyes widened slightly. He hadn't meant to say that. Hadn't meant to title them and the relationship they had. It had only been one official date, but there had already been so much more before that. The start of this courtship began on that first day, as they stepped around one another and sized each other up in a way that, looking back on it, was really just foreplay for everything after. The night Dameron opened up to Hux. The night he left. The day the ginger returned the favor. Their dance, their tryst, their whispered words, and the breaking of walls.

Saying that there was only one date...just seemed silly, when everything was in perspective.

Still, a title meant that they were both willing to admit it to themselves, even if it was not publicly broadcasted. As much as Gavin would verbally deny it...he wanted it.

So, with a soft voice, the redhead murmured, "Are we?"

Boyfriend… One word, two syllables, yet all the raging heat of a forest fire. Hearing it alone sent a wave of flames over the pilot’s body and he swallowed hard. Charcoal eyes reflecting the red hair in their depths widened significantly. Poe’s lips parted, his jaw dropping slightly as he mulled over the word, dissecting it, weighing pros and cons and, ultimately, over-analyzing every tiny little aspect of each answer possible. 

One word, one syllable would determine more than he felt comfortable admitting. 

They had already set up a title for themselves when they had agreed to the date. So why did it seem like such a giant leap into the unknown to establish a different title for their relationship? It felt like the start of something completely different. The idea of putting so much faith into someone. Sharing that trust. Opening up to another person… It was terrifying, to say the least. But what part of life wasn’t?

“Yeah.” Poe had only realized after a while that he wasn’t responding, but instead staring blankly at his lover. So he went with his gut instinct. He let his heart overtake his mind and responded with what he felt was the right thing to do. “Yeah, I-I…” Full lips spread wide and natural into a warm smile as Poe leaned in, capturing Hux’s mouth with his own. “I think we are.” Agreeing to it sent his heart into an unsteady rhythm as it strummed dangerously fast within his chest. His stomach flipped over itself without pausing and his skin flushed with warmth once again.

A bitten lip kept the ginger's lips from widening completely into a smile. So that was it. One mistaken word and just a question later and they were in agreement. They had a title and everything that came with that. Something wrapped around him, some feeling that was warm and content and comforting and strong.

"Then, yes," Hux reaffirmed as he picked back up where he trailed off. "I'm not good with sharing my boyfriend." A pause. "You should smile more during lessons. It suits you more than a scowl. That's more my style."

The General brushed their noses together, fingers trailing down Poe's chest and then shifting their path to rest on the pilot's side. He felt so much lighter knowing, now, that whatever this was between them was reciprocal and real. He was wanted, just as much as the General wanted the Commander. He could set aside his worries and thoughts of his inevitable exit for this.

Just for a moment. Just for the time that he was here.

What's the worst that could happen?

Jade and onyx. Winter and summer. Opposites, but united. How he ever managed to get here - with this personification of the solar eclipse - he would never fully know, but the ginger was never one to take a presented opportunity for granted. He pressed another chaste kiss to Dameron's lips and shifted ever closer, pressing their bodies together in a lover's embrace. "Mar sin tha mi a chaidh a ghlacadh a ' ghrian dubh? B 'urrainn dhomh fàs cleachdte ri sin."


	27. Lazy Mornings

“You know, it really is no fair if I can’t understand what you’re saying.” Poe’s words held a heavy tone of playfulness to them as he leaned in and nibbled softly on his lover’s bottom lip. “Dos pueden jugar ese juego. ¿Estoy diciendo algo lindo ? Algo grosero ? Nunca se sabe…” He chuckled lightly and initiated another languid kiss. Before he parted completely from Hux’s mouth, Poe had pulled back just enough for their tongues to touch and press against the others, then the kiss ended. 

“You should teach me your language.” The Commander stated simply, looking into lazy lidded eyes through his own similar ones. “That way, I can tell when you are mocking me or not.” A smile reappeared on tired lips, maintaining a relaxed look to them. “Su voz suena hermoso… Perhaps we can indulge a little bit tomorrow, hm? We’ve got the entire day to do absolutely nothing. So.. I’m giving you full reign. You chose. I picked the date. Pick us one for tomorrow.”

It just felt so _natural_ to be in this situation with Gavin. Two polar opposites brought together like the pull of a strong magnetic force. As if that first initial meet was, dare he say, destiny… It was the same pull, after all, that led Poe to singling out that recruit. Had attitudes been different… Had he approached him in a completely different way, how would things be, currently?

Hux had fallen silent since the pilot suggested learning the ginger's long forgotten language. It was rare. A relic of a lost time and a people who were far away and more or less assimilated into the cultures of the world. Only the noble families still held onto the traditions, even in secret. For Poe to want to learn about that, even just slightly, brought a much softer blush to the ginger's face. Only after a few moments did he realize that Dameron also suggested he picked their next outing. He didn't know the base well enough to suggest something on the grounds, which narrowed it down to something in a much more private setting, which Gavin was more than happy with. Ideas and schemes flickered behind his eyes as he gazed at the curly-haired Commander. When he settled on one, his lips went from being pursed to smiling.

"It would only be fair to teach you my language if you teach me yours," the redhead stated simply. "As for tomorrow, I think I can come up with something we'd both enjoy. Though I may send you away for an hour or so. Don't take it to heart," he teased. "Tha e airson an dòigh as fheàrr. Tha mi a 'gealltainn. Thu gràdh e." He chuckled. "And no, that wasn't mocking. Tha thu ro misneachail pìleat gun dèanadh sgilean. That, however, was."

Any time Poe made himself a mental note to remember what it was that Hux said in his other language, it would quickly get lost into a jumble of syllables and punctuation; this time being no different. So he decided to just brush it off; perhaps one day they would share each other’s language, perhaps not. But there was no point in worrying about that now. Right now, he had his lover, his… Boyfriend, naked, content, and warm within his arms. _That_ is what mattered. 

“So… Let me get this straight.” Poe began with a soft chuckle of amusement, lifting one hand to brush through his hair before settling on his cheek. “Your idea of a second date is to send me away? I’ve gotta admit, doll. That doesn’t sound very fun for me,” he laughed, pecking Hux’s lips a few times before pulling back and resting their foreheads together. 

Regardless of what was in store for them, schemed up by Gavin's seemingly brilliant mind, Poe was excited. It was another opportunity for them to spend time together, work away from that anger and distaste they originally had, and more towards the warmth and enjoyment they now seemed to find in each other. Maybe come to an agreement on how to behave in front of the others, set up that line between what was accepted and what wasn’t.

"Well, here on the options, Poe," The ginger's tone was teasing, even though the choice he was giving to the pilot was one to consider. "You can let me gather what we need for our date, or you can glue yourself to my hip and ruin the surprise. You're choice. No, no. Don't give me an answer, now. Really mull it over."

Hux rolled them abruptly so that he was staring down at the pilot. He dropped a kiss to Dameron's cheek before he settled his weight more comfortably. He pressed their lips together once more, letting it deepen into a knot of tongues before the pulled back and away. He rolled them again, until his shoulder was touching the edge of the bed and the Commander was atop him once more.

"I promise not to cause too much damage in our time apart, Love," the General gave a slight mock-pout, his hands reaching up to card through unruly locks of black. He liked that - enjoyed that the other man's appearance was not regulated and orderly. It reflected who he was, not who most ranked officers ought to be. On a similar thought, Hux wasn't entirely certain how they were supposed to act, anymore. Surely this relationship would be highly frowned on - in fact, it could easily be against regulation for a Commander and a recruit to be together, but, well...they were both already breaking rules, weren't they?

Poe settled quickly and comfortably on top of his boyfriend once more, stroking tanned fingers through fiery locks. “Take as much time as you need, sweetheart,” he spoke rather softly, his gaze dropping down to alluring lips then back up to get lost in intoxicating eyes. “I’ve got to speak to someone anyways.” Rhys… The way he’s been acting lately, he knew he owed his closest friend an apology. And while he had no intentions of confessing to anything that has gone done recently, he at least felt he needed to give some explanation, if nothing else. 

With a soft, almost unnoticeable groan, the pilot leaned in once more, slotting his mouth overtop of Gavin’s. The kiss remained slow but sensual, the soft smacking sounds of their lips drifting up every so often as they’d go from just rolling their tongues together to actual kissing. Every time Dameron even thought of the word ‘boyfriend’, he’d get a heated pang of excitement to the chest and he’d feel his lips spreading into a smile, until finally, he had to break the kiss with a light pant.

They stayed close to one another, their breath intermingling and ghosting over one another's lips as they watched one another, waiting for a sign as to what to do next. Hux's mind was split between this moment and the next, infinite checklists and strategies working themselves out as he pieced together his plan for tomorrow as well as still played with the thought of talking to the other General. The sooner the better, he supposed, when it came to scheduling and planning.

Boyfriend. A soft laugh escaped him at the thought - the First Order General had a boyfriend who was a Resistance Commander and the best pilot they had to offer. Supposedly. It had said so in Poe's file, but Gavin had yet to see him fly.

Perhaps one day. Perhaps at the flight lesson. The ginger brushed the thought aside as he brought the other man back down for another long kiss. He could stay like this all night, with his lover on top of him and their lips sealed together. It was something that he missed - the little moments of contact between two people that were so fleeting, yet so meaningful - in his years of solitude.

Poe can’t recall the last time he ever just laid there in a full on make-out with someone else, without intentions of taking it further. By the time the kiss had broken, the shorter of the two rolled back, pulling his lover halfway on top of his body, wrapping two strong arms around his slender, though sturdy, frame. The Resistance Commander only broke the kiss when a particularly loud rumble of thunder caught his attention. 

Having been so consumed in the moment, he had forgotten about the storm happening outside that now seemed to be building once more. Moments like this, he ached to have a large bed placed underneath an even larger window to watch the storm from the dry comfort of being inside. Especially after just having sex. To hear that constant pitter-patter of rain against glass, watching as the lightning illuminated the room for a fleeting moment, brightening his lover’s body in the process.

A smile spread softly over Dameron’s swollen lips as he brushed the back of his fingers against Gavin’s cheek. Though he could easily go another round with his… Boyfriend, the word still making him grin childishly, exhaustion was starting to take over. It dawned on him then that for a second night in a row, he would get to fall asleep with this man between his arms, and wake with him in the morning once more. 

The warmth that spread throughout Poe was quickly becoming addicting, and he wanted to feel more and more of it. “If you’re up for showering tonight, by all means…” He chuckled, flashing his lover a lazy smile. His eyes were already threatening to close. “Think I’m just going to wait t-til…” A yawn broke through his words and Poe briefly turned his head to the side. “Morning.”

Hux mumbled something completely incoherent in response. He relaxed fully, though he did want to take a shower, he felt no motivation to move or break the contact he had with the pilot. The stickiness that clung to both of their bodies made his lip curl slightly, but his eyes had already drifted closed.

In contrast to the storm that raged on outside, with howling winds and crashes of thunder, inside and wrapped together in one another, the lovers were calm and quiet. Brief moments of illumination were marked by long periods of darkness as lightening tore open the sky. Unconquered power. The strength of nature, bundled into one, quick expression of violent ability. It was beautiful. Gavin almost wished he wasn't as tired as me was - he wanted to drag his lover out of bed, go find some place protected, but open, and huddle under a blanket while watching the storm.

He supposed that this was close enough.

Before the ginger could summon his voice to bid Poe goodnight, he was already asleep. He felt protected, with those arms around him, as though it was the Commander and not the walls of the Resistance base that shielded him from the downpour. Nuzzling ever closer, Gavin hummed in his slumber - one last cognitive noise that was meant to roughly translate to 'I'm going to bed, but I swear the first thing I'm doing tomorrow is getting clean.' Perhaps the message was not fully received. It didn't matter.

The thunder had kept the dark-haired male awake much longer than he would have liked. Every rumble, every sudden burst of noise triggered something within the pilot that vaguely resembled panic. It reminded him of being in battle. Though much deeper in tone and not as sharp as it pierced the sky, he was reminded of blaster fire, cannon blasts. It made him shiver and he held onto his boyfriend even tighter. It wasn’t until the thunder quieted down and the constant drumming of rain against the building overtook the atmosphere like a white noise did Dameron finally fully succumb to the exhaustion that settled heavily over his body.

For the second night in a row, the Commander slept straight through the night. Even as the storm spiked once more before day break, Poe did not wake for anything. Hux’s warmth covered him like a safety blanket that he clung to, much like a child. When the sun began to bleed warmth into the inky night sky, Poe awoke with a startle. For a moment, he fully forgot that he had cancelled the day’s lessons to ‘allow his recruits a free-day’ and worried that, once again, he was late.

Through his foggy, tired mind, he managed to come to the realization that he was not needed for the day and glanced over at his sleeping lover. A warm smile spread over his lips as he turned more onto his side, pulling Gavin tightly against his body. His arm draped over the more slender form, the Resistance pilot dotted lazy kisses along his shoulder as he allowed his eyes to flutter shut once more. Outside, he was sure the start of a gorgeous day was beginning, but what he had within his quarters felt much more enticing than any perfect, sunny day could ever offer.

When jade eyes slowly opened and focused, Hux was more than surprised to find that he had actually slept in. He was so used to his regulatory time and everything he had to complete in the morning, that it was rare for him to still be in bed past dawn. Hux smiled as his mind caught up with him and he finally focused on the man before him. Poe was so at peace when he was dozing - all the lines of worry and stress, all the insecurities, all the self-doubt...all of it just vanished. 

A pale hand raised to brush away a few curls that had fallen into Dameron's face overnight. His fingers lingered there, just barely touching his lover's -- boyfriend's -- hair and skin. This was all so domestic and natural. It went against everything that had been ingrained into the General's mind. But, despite that, here he lay. Gavin shifted forward, pressing a kiss to Dameron's lips, then another afterward. He leaned back just enough for them to breathe as he murmured, "Good morning." The ginger pulled back further happily watching as wakefulness took over the pilot.

Poe could easily find himself enjoying waking up to his lover’s lips pressing against his. With a wide smile spreading, his eyes still remaining shut, Poe slowly rolled over with a playful groan until he found himself half sprawled over Gavin's body. “G’morning,” the pilot husked, his nose nuzzling into the side of the pale neck. “You lazy bum… Sleepin’ in like that.” His chuckle was very light, finding himself still half-asleep, but Dameron began nibbling playfully at the warm, pulsing flesh.

“Whatever you hafta do for our date t’night, jus’ do it from here, because I’m not letting you out of this bed anytime soon.” Poe’s words were full of jest, though there was a hint of hope following closely behind them. The thought of spending the impromptu day off together in bed, undressed, and doing absolutely nothing other than enjoying each other’s company truly did sound very welcoming. But deep down, Poe knew that there was stuff that had to get done, regardless. Conversations to be had, appearances to be made. And his X-Wing had been neglected recently with the lack of work he’s put into it.

Could he fit all of that into the ‘hour or so’ Gavin had mentioned the night before? Who knows. But he was willing to find out. “Mmm, nuh uh… Not leavin’..” The pilot grumbled with a faint laugh, leaving a trail of kisses from Hux’s neck, up to his ear, along his jaw, and finally finding the sleep-dried lips once again. Initiating a slow, lazy make-out, Poe rolled them towards the middle of the bed, tugging the lithe body on top of him to be pressed down so deliciously into the mattress.

Hux smiled into each kiss, each brush of tongues, each whimper that was swallowed by the other's mouth. He could almost agree to what the pilot was offering, save for one thing: he wanted and needed to shower. As tired as he was last night, he neglected the urge for cleanliness. Now, however, it was less of an urge and much more of a demand. After that, the ginger could see no reason against lazing about for part of the morning before they both had to attend to whatever awaited them.

Pulling away from the tempting mouth, Gavin worked kisses down Poe's neck, paying special attention to the juncture between throat and shoulder. He licked a lazy stripe back up to the Commander's mouth before resuming their little make-out. As much as his mind was screaming at him to do something, that they were losing sunlight and burning oil for no good reason, the General found that he was content with being more or less free from obligations and with Dameron - this man who had gone from scowls to smiles and encouraged Hux to not just open up to him, but bare his soul and let go of control.

And he needed that more than anything - needed to give up control to someone he knew would not hurt him, and Poe had proven again and again that he wouldn't harm or betray the ginger's trust.

Hux refused to ponder about what he, himself, was doing to the pilot. He shoved the darker thoughts away as he broke their kiss. "I like the idea of not leaving," he whispered and wondered if there was something more to those words. "But can we please shower, first?"

Even though a whimper was the initial response to Gavin’s suggestion of breaking apart to shower, Poe couldn’t argue with the thought behind it. He felt gross. Normally, he aimed for two showers a day; one in the morning as a sort of wake-up refresher, if he could force himself awake early enough, and a long one in the evening to cleanse and wind down from the day. He knew, too commonly, that he would be thrusted into situations that would deny him that simple pleasure of having a shower, so he tried to take full advantage of it whenever he could. Granted, having someone to share it with made things all the more fun. 

Besides, Hux could shower all he wanted. Didn’t mean Poe had to break away from him more than absolutely necessary. So, as he rolled them towards the edge of the bed, he did so with a mischievous smirk reappearing on his lips. 

“You shower,” he stated rather simply once he stepped off the bed, smoothing down his half-awoken prick. “And I’ll keep kissing.”

Reaching out, he helped his boyfriend stand from the bed, but instantly pulled him into a warm embrace. “Definitely will keep kissing,” the Commander mused moments before engaging them in another slow make-out. Eyes shut, mouths connected, Dameron began walking them backwards with uneasy steps that lacked any form of confidence. The pace at which they actually moved was slower than the dance of their tongues, and far more clumsy and awkward. But the pilot made no effort to stop.

Hux would have said that he trusted the pilot completely to guide them through the bedroom, but from the way that they both stumbled over their steps and his own arms wrapped tightly around Poe's shoulders, not for comfort but for balance, it was alarmingly obvious that any second, now, they could go toppling to the ground. The ginger made a muffled noise that still sounded sardonic and condescending, even though there were no words to it. How is it that they could fall into a tango so easily and waltz in the rain, but walking normally while being so close was near impossible?

There was a resounding 'thump' in the room as the pilot walked Gavin directly into the door to the refresher. He grumbled into their kiss, breaking away with all the willpower he had. "That is not how you use a door," he snapped, pulling out of Dameron's hold just long enough to slip through the doorway and turn on the water. Afterward, he quickly moved back into the Commander's arms, purposefully guiding the man to bump into the sink before he pulled them both into the shower and under the spray. 

The water that dripped around them was warm and soothing, washing away the lingering grime that clung to them. Droplets fell around them in their own personal rainstorm, every once in a while falling against their smacking lips.

The redhead whimpered as internal heat warmed him and stretched across his body, leaving a flush and fluttering heart in its wake. He lightly pushed his boyfriend away so that he could turn around, giving his back to Poe and his front to the shower head as he reached for the soap to lather over himself. "I must say, Flyboy, I much prefer my morning routine with you being a part of it."

“Mmm… You and me both.” Even with the sudden change of positions, Poe’s lips did not cease their exploratory movements. Strong hands settled on slender hips as Poe began kissing away water drops pooling on paled skin before cascading down their paths. Fingertips began to lightly scratch at the warm flesh beneath their touch and teeth playfully nibbled until pinkish tints appeared. “

Fact remained that Poe could _very_ easily find himself getting used to this routine; at least on the nights that Hux stayed over. Which, come to think of it, Poe found the idea of his boyfriend having to return to the barracks for any reason other than to grab a pair of clothing to change into rather unnerving. He could remember a time when he, too, was forced to reside in such crowded spaces. There was no respect for privacy. No chance to catch a breath. Force, you couldn’t even fart without at least six people knowing at any given time.

What were his options though? If he thought they were already moving fast, then asking Hux to stay with him was throwing them into hyperspace. He could always request him to stay over every night… And come across as the overly clingy type. They both needed their space, anyways. Eventually. Right now, however. Poe didn’t even know what that word meant.

“You’re hogging all the warm water,” he muttered, half in jest, though he made no attempt to switch their positions. He was retaining all the warmth he’d ever need from the body pulled back tightly against his. Teeth continued to playfully nibble here and there, never developing into anything more than tiny little reminders that he was still standing behind him.

The small sounds that were slipping through Hux's lips were largely washed away in the noises of the shower. He leaned back against Poe, taking in the heat of his boyfriend's body and giving his own warmth in return. He didn't return the joke immediately, instead just enjoying the closeness and the contact between them. The water washed the suds away from his pale skin and down the drain.

The ginger turned suddenly, then flipped their positions, pushing Dameron under the spray and wrapped his arms around the pilot's shoulders from behind. He dropped a few kisses to the tan neck before stepping back, lathering his hands with soap. Pale hands massaged over the tense muscles in the Commander's back. He rubbed the suds into the golden expanse in front of him, pressing and pausing anytime he found a knot. Another kiss was placed behind Poe's ear as Hux stepped under the water once more and quickly washing his own hair.

The ginger made a show of rubbing the final bubbles from his skin, giving the shorter man a look that was akin to a taunt and a challenge. "Like what you see?"

Though he would never admit it or act upon it out in public around others, Poe quite enjoyed when Hux took control like that. Even though he had whimpered rather childishly at the loss of contact from the relaxing massage Gavin was gifting him with. The atmosphere around them was light and playful though with that slight electric twinge of arousal. Nothing to completely change the vibe between them, but enough there to spark that subtle teasing. 

Turning to face his lover, Poe smirked. “I not only like what I see,” he mused out loud, making a show of checking out as much of the alluring body as he could, “but also what I can feel,” gripping Hux’s waist briefly, he moved them around to his ass to give him a sensual squeeze, “and taste…” The pilot bent in, allowing his tongue to swipe at the wet neck, only pausing briefly over his pulse point.

“Now, move it.” He gave Gavin a final smirk as he used his hip to bump the other out of the way. Loading his hands up with soap, the Resistance Commander began suds-ing up his hair, making sure to flex his muscles in not only his arms, but his back as well, knowing jade eyes would be watching.

The pilot was completely correct in his assumption, as the General took in the sight before him, tracing the way that the droplets made the way down the toned body. Green orbs scoured the sight, putting each line and edge to memory. He hummed appreciatively and moved forward once more, letting his fingertips ghost over the wet skin. 

"I like what I see, too," Gavin whispered. He stepped close, dropping his head to lightly nuzzle against Dameron's shoulder. "Like how strong you are...like that you can just fucking carry me around like it's nothing." Hux pressed his lips to the skin nearest him, every once in a while leaving a small bite as he pulled back. "I like that you're careful with me, even when I tell you to be rough." He stepped away completely, slipping out of the shower as he tossed behind him, almost casually, "I like that you can get me hard with that damn language of yours alone."

The tease and bait being set, the ginger wasted no time in grabbing a towel and quickly drying off and sneaking out of the refresher with it tied around his hips. He snickered, having made his exit before the shower had even been turned off. He sauntered into the kitchen, taking quick stock of the items in it before sneering and determining that the only edible option was smoothies. He padded back into the bedroom, empty handed for the time being. His eyes fell on the box of cigarettes, and a smirk lit up his lips. Walking over, he took one out, kept it unlit, but let it dangle from his lips as he sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for the pilot to make his reappearance.

***

Curse the bubbles that still clung to him! Poe had watched as the other male stepped out and made a quick exit from the refresher, secluding him to his own antics in the shower. He knew that Hux was expecting him to hurry on out after him, so to keep up with that desire to tease and play around, the tanned pilot remained in the shower, biting down on his bottom lip in an effort to keep his grin from spreading too much. 

Calloused hands, roughened from a lifetime of being active, learning the ins and outs of Starfighters, trailed up and down his fit body. Poe made a quickened grab to his groin, giving himself a swift tug, just to keep his arousal there. He wasn’t fully stiff, but it was evident enough to be noticeable. The Resistance Commander hadn’t planned on initiating them into another round that morning, realizing that they’ve taken every opportunity alone so far to go for it. But, damn was it fun to tease the hell out of his lover.

Once the last of the suds rinsed their way off of Dameron’s body and down the drain, he cut the water off and stepped out. A quick pat down was given using the towel as Poe sauntered his way from the refresher. With it now wrapped tightly around his waist, hugging his body as much as the coarse fabric would allow, the shorter of the two lover’s stepped back into the bedroom. 

“No.” The word came rather quickly from a mouth pinched up into a smirk. “If you are going to chide me on my smoking habits, then you do not get to partake in one whenever you feel like it.” Stepped up before him, Poe looked down at the redhead sitting on his bed and was quick to snatch the stick from his mouth. “You want to put that mouth to work, I can think of other ways to use it.” His smirk darkened momentarily before falling back into a playful tease as he reached for his lighter and caught the end aflame, the other dangling from his lips.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the sudden hiatus on this story, here's an extra long chapter to make up for it.
> 
> Darn university graduation, getting in my way...
> 
> xoxo

Jade eyes watched the embers flicker around the tobacco as Dameron inhaled. Hux had caught the difference in the man's smile - a twist that was there and then gone, much like the smoke that rose up and wrapped around itself in the air as the Resistance Commander exhaled. A lazy upturn of his lips - a sardonic look if ever there was one - accompanied a tilting of the ginger's head as he gazed up at his sudden boyfriend.

Pale fingers reached out to play with the skin which touched the towel, teasing the border between decency and sensuality. Slowly, the touch ghosted upward, whispering and tickling over toned lines and perfect cuts. Everything was a tease - the touch, the looks, the way he sat. It was all meant to lure his lover in and continue their game with one another. His hand hovered over Poe's sternum, then softly descended once more, the grazing of his fingertips no more there than before.

Gavin shifted, letting his legs fall open just enough for the dark-haired man to fit, if he chose to move there. As his hands moved upward once more, coming to rest on either side of the pilot's neck, thumbs stroking little circles where they lie. "My mouth?" Hux played coy. "What would you like me to do with it, Flyboy? How can you use it?" That devious glint - that dare and defiance - sparked to life in the General's gaze. A challenge that was left unspoken, an authority that simmered just below that surface, but never rose to take control. Not yet, at least.

Glaring down at his lover, a new found heat glazed over the Commander’s eyes. When the pale legs parted, Poe wasted not a breath before stepping in between them. His finger curled beneath the ginger’s jaw, holding his head up to make their gazes connect. Every faint little touch from that teasing finger fueled the pilot’s arousal more and more until a very definite bulge was starting to tent the fabric of the towel covering it. Poe had debated keeping up with the teasing they had going on between them and make a joke about how his mouth would be put to better use in the kitchen calling out to see how Poe liked his coffee, but losing himself in those deep depths of jade and silver, he couldn’t.

“Sabes a lo que me refiero,” the Rebel growled, unable to stop that pinch of his lip as it formed into a devious scowl. “Quiero meterla en tu boca…”

The hand still settled beneath Gavin’s chin tightened its grip. His thumb lifted slightly and he rubbed the pad of it across his boyfriend’s bottom lip. Pulling it down, he sucked his own between his teeth and groaned. His arousal was very much obvious at this point, so Poe took his other hand and reached for Gavin’s, having him press the heel of his palm against the swell. “Vea lo que hace a mí…” A shuddered breath left the pilot’s body as his gaze darkened even further. Poe would never be able to deny the intense sexual chemistry shared between the two of them, if nothing else. But more than that, there was a call to the other male, that strong pull bringing them together. Leaning down, Poe captured Hux’s lips in a heated lip lock, letting his needy moan be muffled by his lover’s mouth.

The hand that had been placed over the towel-clothed erection remained still for the first few seconds it was there - another tease and a slight power play from the General. As their kiss heated, however, it came to life, pressing and rubbing lightly as their lips moved together in a way that was much more passion-fueled than the lazy make outs they had previously taken part in. Hux chuckled softly into Dameron's mouth, letting the pilot take control of the kiss as both pale hands settled on the top of the towel, fingers grazing over where it was knotted to stay up. With a pull and a simple gravitational force, the Commander was bare once more. Gavin tilted his head until the connection of their mouths was broken.

Gemstone eyes dropped down to take in Poe's aroused state. A smirk played on pink lips, but not one that was unkind. Rather, it was a promise and a knowing look wrapped together in one lopsided smile. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did you want something?" Gavin's jest turned into a whisper as his touch slowly worked its way down from the other man's hips. "Force, come on, keep talking to me. Your voice and that language. Oh, Maker."

One of the ginger's hands stopped and rested against his boyfriend's lower hip. The fingers of his other traced up the cock before him from base to tip before his thumb rubbed a swift circle over the head and his grip finally wrapped around the shaft. He could not deny there a was a certain spark that only the Commander could ignite inside of him - something deep down that he had buried under years of strife and his profession. It was a feeling that sparked white hot at times, but mostly just simmered beneath his skin. He stepped out of his head and back to the present. "If you want my mouth, Flyboy, get on the bed."

The moment the grip went around his cock, Poe let out a shuddered groan. His hips pushed forward slightly, seeking more from his lover, only to find him unwilling in that position. That alone brought a playful whimper to fall from the pilot’s lips, followed by a growled, “Usted pequeña provocadora.” Gripping Hux’s chin with a firm hold, Poe lowered himself down to roughly kiss him. In the process, he began to push his lover back until he had him fully pinned into the mattress. His hips rutted forward, his exposed arousal pushing against the other’s through the semi-rough fabric of Gavin's towel.

“Quiero llenarte tu… Ponga su boca para un mejor uso.”

Poe didn’t linger very long on top of his boyfriend’s lithe body before he rolled off and moved away from him completely. After fluffing up one of his pillows, he settled himself more comfortably, one hand resting beneath his head. His legs extended out, parted slightly, giving Gavin room to settle in between. His free hand lowered itself slowly, fingers pausing to playfully tease his own nipples, before he give his arousal a much needed squeeze. “Mmngh, fuck.” He breathed out, licking at his lips before capturing the bottom swell between his teeth.

Hux took a moment to undo his towel and let it fall to the bed. He crawled over to the pilot, slotting himself between the parted legs and pressing kisses to Poe's stomach. He swirled his tongue around the man's navel in a tease, lightly blowing on it as he pulled away and watched as goosebumps rose on the golden skin. The ginger leaned back in, trailing kisses and nips down his boyfriend's body, tactfully staying away from the one place Dameron actually wanted him to go.

A light bite was given to a quivering inner thigh, followed by a lick from the bottom of the Commander's cock all the way to the tip. It wasn't as though the General had given many blowjobs in his life, but he knew how to flirt with pleasure, knew how to play the game. Pale fingers wrapped around the girth of the base, lightly tickling and moving in the tiniest of tugs.

"You like that, Flyboy?" Gavin murmured and then swirled his tongue around the head, kicking away the precum the dripped from the length. "You want to fuck my mouth, Poe? I can take it."

Calloused fingers had to grip at _something_. First they found themselves holding so dearly onto the sheets of the bed, tugging up at the material and twisting it with his building pleasure. When that wasn’t enough, the associated hand shot down to then bury into the bright locks he found himself admiring more and more with every passing day. The other hand quickly joined its match as he gave a gentle nudge, urging his lover to do something, anything to give him that friction he so desired. Finally, with a defeated whimper, he lifted his hips off the bed.

“You want me to fuck your mouth?” He husked, finding the sight of Hux between his legs, those alluring lips so fucking close to his cock more than he could handle at the moment. With a much more commanding grip now, the Resistance fighter pushed his boyfriend’s head lower until his lips once more touched the sensitive tip of his erection. He had to bite down hard on his bottom lip to stifle the groan threatening to rip through him from the jolting pleasure the simple brush of warmth there gave him. 

Lifting his hips up off the mattress a second time, Poe watched as the tip of his cock slowly began to push past and into Hux’s mouth. “Shit…” He breathed out, unrelenting on the action. When he felt Gavin’s mouth open further to accommodate his length, he nearly growled with desire and pulled back. All the while, the hands lost in fiery locks held the recruit’s head in place. A few more teasing motions like such paved the way for Dameron to begin thrusting shallowly in and out of his lover’s welcoming mouth, grunting with every coil of heat deep in his gut.

The smirk on the ginger's face was visible even around the prick in his mouth. He swallowed around each upward movement, hollowing his cheeks and letting the grip in his hair hold him in place, for the time being. Hux hummed, letting the vibrations roll around in his mouth. Hux reached up to untangle the fingers that were threaded through his locks, pulling himself free from the hold so that he could finally move freely. He took a moment to shift his position before starting a slow bobbing motion.

He pulled back, a wet pop sounding as the cock slipped from his mouth. He licked up the underside and lightly sucked on the tip. Satisfied with the noises coming from his lover, Gavin leaned back further to sharply nip at Dameron's inner thigh, then took his place once more, whispering, "Come on, Commander, show me what you've got."

All things considered, the General probably shouldn't challenge the man whose dick was in his mouth if he was also planning on talking to Leia. The roughness his voice would inevitably have to it would be a very specific kind - one that had its own brand of sound that went with it. But Hux was not someone who backed down from a challenge - especially one that he had given - so, he found a hold on the bedding, flashed the shorter man a smirk, and started his bobbing anew, flattening his tongue to provide another source of slick friction.

“Ooh f-fuck, don’t stop baby. Fuck, don’t stop!” Poe’s breath had caught in his throat and darkened eyes squeezed shut as the pleasure his boyfriend’s mouth was giving him crashed over him like a wave reaching a jagged headland. With his grip removed from Gavin’s hair, Poe lifted his hands halfway, clenching his fingers around thin air; half unaware, mostly too lost to the damp warmth to even care. “Se siente tan bien... nngh… Mierda! Tu boca me está volviendo loco…!” Poe was finding it increasingly more difficult to maintain the needy gasps coming from his throat, every suckle, every little lick sending an electric jolt straight to his heart.

There had been such an underlying challenging tone to the recruit’s whispered words that the Commander shivered as chills covered his body, blending in so deliciously with the heat that was already lingering. Breathing out through his nose, Poe attempted to regain control of all five of his senses and not just focus on any one in particular. But damn near everything about this moment was drawing him him; he could still taste his lover’s kiss on his tongue, watching that fiery red head bobbing up and down between his thighs, feeling the soft warmth of his hair between his fingers, the freshly washed cleansed skin hitting his nostrils, and listening to the soft grunts and the slick sound of his prick moving in and out of his mouth. All of it had the pilot’s senses on overdrive.

“Te llevaré. Me tomaré, y hacer que la mía. Ay que lindo eres…” Needing at least one hand in Gavin’s hair, Poe let his other one clutch pathetically at the sheets of the bed. His hips began to rise and fall in quick succession, his dick moving past swelling lips and getting deeper with each and every thrust. By now, Poe was a moaning, mewling mess as he nearly writhed on the bed; eyes half closed, but refusing to actually stop watching the gorgeous sight further down the bed.

The ginger rode the upward thrusts, swallowing around each and giving a slight growl anytime the hand in his hair tightened to the point where it restricted his motions. Jade eyes glanced upward to meet the half lidded onyx orbs of his dark-haired lover. The pilot was a beautiful mess. Dark, dampened curls bounced freely, falling in twists of black around his face. A flush had taken over his cheeks, a dark color that brought out the hue of his golden skin and full lips. Those piercing eyes were darker than normal, giving even the night sky a run for its money.

Force, why did this man ever fall for him? Gavin hummed, again. Poe could have reached out to anyone and they would have taken his hand much more eagerly than the General, who snarled and snapped at the Commander and, really, still did at times. And perhaps they should have ground rules for what lines can and can't be crossed out there, in public, but that could be discussed later. His mouth was a little preoccupied at the moment.

With the noises the man was making Hux didn't need much help getting hard, himself, and he trailed a hand down his own body to palm his erection and will it to stop distracting him from the delight at hand. His voice may be ruined for the day and his jaw may ache, but seeing Poe so wrapped up and undone at the same time was worth it. So, the ginger gave the cock a hard suck and lightly grazed his teeth over the sensitive skin thrusting between his lips - nothing rough, but yet another tease, an added pressure. Green eyes twinkled with a mischievous light in warning - do what I want, and I'll do what you want. Don't, and I don't.

Gavin suddenly gripped and forced Poe's hips to stop moving, keeping him still with both hands as the redhead lowered himself completely, swallowing and keeping himself relaxed until his lips were at the base of the pilot's arousal. He paused there for a few moments, feeling Dameron deep in his throat before he pulled back once more, hands falling away from their hold on the other man, and bobbing pace resuming once more.

The Commander was not prepared for that sudden burst of arousal that happened when he saw, and felt, Gavin take him into his mouth fully. A near blinding heat flashed down his spine, wrapped itself around his erratically beating heart, attacked every nerve in his body, forced his toes to curl into the mattress, bunching up the sheets, and elicited a sharp gasp to fall from his slack jaw and parted lips. Poe always had a weakness for someone who could blow him so well, and Hux definitely seemed to be doing a damn good job. His actions weren’t hurried and rushed, which in itself, proved more than anything. Too often, his past lovers would just want to be down there for a few minutes to get him hot and bothered. He preferred more than anything to ensure his partner felt good, more than his own pleasure, but watching Gavin handle him with unrushed motions and not whining for his own release warmed him in a much less aroused way, and something much deeper. 

“Mmm, shit, baby.. So close.” The muttered words were accompanied by a deep, long-lasting groan as the pilot finally dropped his head back onto his pillow and shut his eyes, simply relishing in the overwhelming ecstasy his boyfriend was bringing him. The grip in the recruit’s hair lessened to a simple massaging touch and his hips quit moving, allowing Hux that full control to do as he pleased. His orgasm was rapidly approaching, however, no matter how badly Poe wanted to remain deep in the throes of arousal. “Fuck, fuck, baby. Stop.” He whined, reaching down to grip the base of his shaft. “Shit, you’re going to make me cum soon.”

Hux took his time easing the pilot's arousal out of his mouth, lapping the tip a few times before dropping down to give attention to Poe's hand. He laid kisses around the back of it and licked a stripe across the knuckles. A small nip was placed against the indent between thumb and wrist before the ginger started and upward trail. He lay waste to the olive chest before him, mouth exploring each inch of skin it contacted on his ascent. He paid special attention to the juncture between Dameron's neck and shoulder, knowing now that the spot was one of his boyfriend's weaknesses. He picked a spot and lightly sucked on the golden skin - not enough to leave a mark, though, Force, he wanted to, but enough for both of them to know that he _could_ if he wanted everyone to know that the Commander had found a bedmate.

And, of course, more than that, but that would be telling and, really, Gavin didn't need more attention on him and Poe didn't need to be under fire about relations with a recruit.

Luckily, the ginger doubted the Resistance was quite as strict about regulations as the First Order. They probably also were more lax regarding punishment, too.

When the General was finally hovering over his lover's lips, he smirked. Teasing, yes, but also very much controlled. "I'm going to make you cum, Flyboy?" He whispered once he could shift around enough to whisper directly into the shorter man's ear. "I do believe that is the point." Another moment passed and the redhead was back over Dameron's mouth, their lips grazing one another. "If you don't want to, I can always leave." He chuckled. "What do you want, Poe? How _do_ you want to cum?"

There were so many different answers that Poe could come up with regarding his method of relief, but he decided to remain silent. Mysterious, almost. The day was young, there were no real duties to accomplish. Days like today were rare around base, so Poe decided to enjoy as much of his lover as he possibly could. Wrapping both arms around Hux’s body, Poe slowly sat up so that his lover was now straddling his waist. But he didn’t linger in that position very long. Rather, only long enough to lose himself in a sensual kiss with his boyfriend.

Laying back down so he was flat on the bed once more, he took the time to admire every expanse of flesh visible to him. One hand traveled heavily up and down the lithe body, while the other wrapped its fingers around the obvious arousal. “Tengo suerte de tenerte,” he whispered, eyes darting from Gavin’s face to the way his hand pumped the other’s cock. “So beautiful.” Fingers teased a nipple until it hardened, before focusing on the other. Charcoal eyes watched small little beads of pre-cum leak out before his thumb could swipe them away.

In a swift move, Poe had both hands cupping beneath Gavin’s thighs, right at the bend of his kneecaps. He lifted him, using all the strength he had, and lowered him onto his face. His tongue wasted no time in pressing into his lover’s body, teasing him with slow, deep thrusts, while his hand went back to tugging at his length. He wanted to bring as much enjoyment to Hux as he possibly could, perhaps a silent apology for the way things worked between them while out in front of others.

Gavin gripped the head of the bed with a white knuckled grip. The quivers running through his body were an almost instant reaction to the swipes of Poe's tongue. Small, breathy sounds tumbled past the ginger's lips and his eyes slid shut as he rode the waves of sensation before opening once more to glance down at the hand currently stroking him. Force, if this was how all mornings could go, he might actually enjoy waking up early, instead of wanting to shoot everyone in his path.

A bell rang in Hux's head - one that was, perhaps, not so much a warning sound, but a cord that was struck deep within him. Something that resonated in his mind that was both comforting and frightening, because _this_ , the relationship that had blossomed between them, was dragging him from the edge of absolute darkness and struggling to pull him into something that was much more warm and light. And the more he grasped at the shadows he wrapped around himself, the more he let go.

"Poe," he whined, a spike in his own pleasure bringing him back out of his thoughts and to the man currently taking him apart piece by glorious piece. Force, he wanted more - and not just in the moment they had suspended themselves in, now. The ginger wanted to be able to lay a very public claim on the curly-haired Commander, wanted to walk the halls hand-in-hand, if that meant that everyone would know that Dameron was his. He wanted...

He wanted. Gavin pressed his forehead against the bed frame. "Please, Love," he gasped, slightly rocking into the hand on him and the tongue in him. "Please."

With his tongue still buried deep inside his lover’s body, Poe tried to smirk in response to the whimpers and other intoxicating noises he was drawing from Hux. To pay the other back for the way he teased him earlier, Poe was not granting Gavin any repetitive actions to focus on. The grip of his fingers would tighten for a bit, then lessen, before tightening once more. He alternated speeds from slow and teasing, to quick and rough. Every so often, he would swipe the sensitive tip of his prick with his palm before stilling his hand altogether. 

His tongue also took action in the playful tease. Poe shoved his tongue as deep into Hux’s body as he possibly could and still it, other than the way the tip curled. Then he started darting it in and out with shallow thrusts, more so working on stretching his body than anything. And between those two actions, he would take a moment to just do it all, moving his wet muscle as though he were in lost in a passionate make-out. 

His own arousal flared white hot just at the fact of knowing how good he was making his lover feel. And in return, in a completely non-sexual way, how good his boyfriend was making _him_ feel. This. Their relationship. It made him feel good, whole again. The pieces that were missing were slowly coming back into place.

Gentle cries of pleasure formed and fell from the ginger's lips as he rode along with what his lover was doing to him. The wicked tongue inside of him loosened his muscles and sent sparks up his spine he was worked open. All the while, the similarly unsteady rhythm on his cock made it impossible for him to harmonize his movements with Poe's, leaving Hux with only one option: stay still, gripping the headboard, and be teased and pleasured. He knew retribution when he saw it and he knew that the pilot's revenge techniques were more than effective.

"Fuck, Poe," Gavin groaned, his back arching and twitching as he tried to keep his hips as motionless as he could. One of the General's hands dropped away from its tight hold to instead cover the pilot's free hand, urging it to curl around his own. Everything that was happening between them - all the chemistry, all the connection, all the need and want to be close - was slowly proving to the ginger that he could be himself once more. For years, he hid away behind an icy exterior and cold demeanor, too afraid to let others near him and to see him for fear of being torn to shreds once more.

Dameron, whether he knew it or not, was saving Hux from himself - keeping him from tumbling over the edge of his persona and never being seen again. "I--Maker!" The grip on the Commander's hand grew stronger. "I-I need... Please."

Even with the raspier tone than ever, Poe knew that whine. He was beginning to pick up on different tones, different projections during their intimate moments that alerted him to Hux’s pleasure. Though he didn’t quite know _every_ little gasp and loss of breath by heart yet, it excited him to know he was getting there. Gavin’s whine was a, ‘fuck I’m getting close’ whine. After one final intrusion with his tongue, Poe pulled back, panting hard. 

He gripped his lover by the waist and not so gently changed their positions, dropping Hux onto his back with his head at the foot of the bed, while he settled himself back on top. There was a heat in his eyes and a slight snarl on his lips as he gazed down at the other male. Not a drop of anger reached his expression however, but a more primitive sort of need reappeared. 

Simply put, Poe needed Gavin. He needed that reminder that there _was_ still something worth keeping hope for. For too long, he allowed himself to be taken over by his demons, to fall victim to useless habits and hardened exteriors. While he knew it was not going to be a simple overnight transformation, Dameron already found himself smiling more, and for longer periods of time. He felt that flutter of life to his heartbeat once again, and started to remember what happiness truly was, and not the chemically induced high he’s forced into his body more times than he’d care to admit.

Aligning the tip of his prick to Gavin’s half-teased entrance, Poe allowed his eyes to flutter shut. A guttural groan forced its way up his throat as he pressed into the slick but tight body, already finding himself back to the brink of release. “Oh, Gavin…” He whispered, slowly beginning to move his hips back and forth, working his length further and further in. Leaning down, he tangled one hand into his lover’s hair, pulling him up for a kiss, while the other slid between their bodies to begin stroking him in rhythm to his now powerful thrusts.

The ginger’s nails dug into his lover’s shoulders as his body was worked open – the pain-pleasure mix sending his mind into a state of frenzied sensation that left him gasping and moaning softly, breaking the press of their lips. Hux gazed up at the pilot. Matching the fiery look he was being given from predatory eyes with his own molten one. He was already so close. All the teasing, all the sensations he got while offering pleasure freely to Dameron, only to unexpectedly receive his own in turn, all the deep connections and mind boggling realizations… All of it added up to having him balance precariously on the edge of release.

“Poe--fuck!” Gavin rolled his body, twisting his hips just so and arching into his boyfriend’s thrusts. 

He wasn’t used to that – ‘boyfriend’. It was such a simple, domestic term, and, in such times of war, it felt so out of place. Especially for a man who had given himself to the art of it all. But he was falling for the title as he was falling for the pilot currently residing above him.

The General shook his head once before dropping it back against the bed, a shudder overtaking his body and causing him to whimper. “There, right there—ah!—Close, Poe, please!” He jerked upward into the hand stroking him, a blush completely overtaking his cheeks as he writhed toward that inevitable end.

Poe was so consumed by the raw connection of their coupling that he could only nod and mutter out a simple, “me too baby,” as his hips continued snapping forward, then pulling back. As the heat began to circulate his system, finally pooling in his lower gut, Poe leaned in to slot his lips over his lover’s, kissing him messily. Sloppy smacking of the lips blended so deliciously into the repetitive connection of their bodies and the constant sounds fall from both mouths with every break of the kiss. It was all driving Poe closer and closer to that threshold of utter bliss. 

After a few more desperate thrusts, Poe stilled completely; his body, his hand, his lips. His orgasm blazed through him like a wildfire consuming a forest, leaving every part of him trembling, and every muscle feeling weak. But before his cock could even finish emptying, he began tugging at Gavin’s prick with fervor. 

Once more, his lips found their motion as his tongue dipped into the mewling mouth. Overly sensitive now that he was coming down from that natural high, Dameron started to move his hips to give his boyfriend that last bit of sensual friction. He whimpered with every lasting jolt of pleasure to his system, shivering with lingering arousal. But at last second, the Commander pulled out completely and moved down the taller male’s body to wrap his lips around his cock and start bobbing his head.

Pale hands grabbed at dark curls as his lover's head moved up and down. Hux groaned, back bowing and body trembling and nearing the edge more and more. He made a whine in warning to the pilot, though his grip didn't loosen at all. It took one, two, three bobs of Poe's head and the ginger was releasing with a shout and a buck of his hips. Gavin trembled and shook, the hold he had on Dameron's hair softening until it was a light pet as he came down from his orgasmic high.

He whined softly and pushed the pilot's head away from him, over-stimulation sending shocks through him that were intense in nature and consuming in effect. Hux was all for pushing past limits, and that did fall over into the bedroom and his fantasies, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to play with it, now - rather, he wasn't sure where Poe's limits were and, after that mind blowing session, he didn't want to talk about it just yet.

Perhaps that should be added into the 'things to discuss' pile along with how to conduct themselves out from behind closed doors and isolation. It would make for an interesting conversation, after all. 'This is how I want to be treated outside, inside, however, well...'

"Force, you're incredible," Gavin panted instead.

A sly chuckle was the first response the redhead received after Poe swallowed his load. Licking his lips clean, he moved to settle beside his lover, slinging an arm lazily over his chest. Laying on his side, the Commander leaned in, nuzzling Hux’s neck and leaving several slow, lingering pecks to the warm flesh. “Not as much as you are, doll,” he mumbled with a soft sigh of contentment. Everything felt so perfect, so… Meant to be, between them. 

Both with pasts filled with such despair, both waging that internal war with themselves. He knew it to be the reason they both behave the way they do around others; a self-defense mechanism of sorts. It was a way to prevent anyone from getting too close. The metaphorical brick wall, but projected through actions. Inside, Poe wondered if that was why they fought against the other so hard in the very beginning. There was that sense that the other had their own barriers around them and could relate in some way. Naturally, the urge to deny and look the other way was too strong. But not even their own bickering and despise could prevent the inevitable. 

Now here they were, both filled with each other’s essence and planning an escape to Gavin’s private home, away from the war, away from good and evil. Just the two of them secluded in their own private, isolated little bubble. Nothing could _possibly_ go wrong…

“We should probably consider making an appearance in the general public sooner rather than later. Rumors spark fast around here. If we both disappear until the middle of the day then suddenly reappear at the same time, even an idiot would be able to put two and two together.”

As he spoke, he continued pampering his spent lover with gentle kisses and soothing caresses with his hand against the pale, slender chest. The thought of leaving their bed-- _his_ bed, however, made Poe despise everything else about the day. Surely Hux could plan and prepare their date in their current position, right? Anything is possible? Moving his lips to the small hollow behind his ear, he began to nibble and suckle, forming a tiny, unnoticeable to the naked eye mark. His secret claim to the recruit.

Hux made a soft noise, turning his head so that the Commander could finish the mark he was working on. He liked that idea - to be claimed by someone who cared for him as much as he did, them. The ginger rolled away as the pilot finished his work, turning so he can press his back against Dameron's chest. He settled in this position, relaxing and letting his eyes slip closed, not in sleep or even in dosing, but in simple relaxation and contentment.

"I know all about rumors," Gavin whispered. 

And that was true. The General knew all about the gossip that surrounded him, even on his own ship. From such things as the 'Ice General' and the 'Winter Prince' all the way to who he's sleeping with and whether or not he was actually human or robotic. Further, he knew the rumors that followed him around the Academy, when he was still there. He knew how many lewd stories and other ridiculous things were said.

Still, they should at least attempt to be subtle. With that in mind and the checklist the General needed to run through for their date, Hux finally managed to make himself sit up. He couldn't convince himself to leave the bed. Baby steps. He leaned over as stole a kiss. "Let's make an appearance, then, Love."

Even if he was the one to suggest they put a start to their day, deep down, Poe didn’t _truly_ mean it. His suggestion was more of an idea, in a way. So that way, when the sun began to make its final descent into night, and there they remained, wrapped around each other in the throes of passion once more, scolding the other for letting the day slip away unproductively, he could at least say, “hey, I mentioned it way earlier this morning.”

With a soft, teasing whimper, strong arms reached out and encircled Gavin’s lissome frame. “Mmm nuh uh. Changed my mind. Commander’s orders that you relax. And rest. And kiss. Lots off kissing.” He scooted a bit closer to his boyfriend – the terminology ringing through his mind still unfamiliar and a bit nerve-wracking – and placed a teasing nibble next to his hip bone. 

One thing Poe was absolutely beginning to adore was how easily marred Hux’s muted tone could be when it came to his mouth. Dameron’s gaze lifted to the recruit’s collarbone and smirked when he saw the deep, almost purple mark left behind from their first intimate moment. He had almost forgotten that he left a mark there. His first claim to the redhead. Granted, it wasn’t visible when Hux was dressed, but it was there nonetheless. That was all that mattered. Had another tried to bed him – which ultimately would be a terrible idea at this point – they’d see that mark. _His_ mark.

"Orders, hm?" The lilt in Gavin's voice wrapped around the hard 'r' in that one word as the ginger didn't try to hide it. He reached out, gently running his fingers through the pilot's still-damp hair with one hand as he reclined back on the other. He smiled down at the man, who had figuratively and literally taken him by the hand and pulled him from the darkness of his thoughts, thus proving that, yes, there was a human heartbeat under the cool facade, after all. "I think we both know how well I take orders. Commander."

The General knew what Poe had been staring at; it was another fixation that everyone who met him inevitably had. The paleness of his skin led to marks flourishing on it like paint on a blank canvas. Coincidentally, that was one of the reasons he liked his uniform: it hid most of him. It also showed his rank and authority, of course, but the fact that almost every inch of his skin was covered was an added bonus.

Hux found, surprisingly, that he didn't mind bearing the pilot's mark. Rather, instead of a mere claim, it was a reminder that he finally belonged to someone once more. Or, perhaps, that someone cared enough to prove that the redhead was already spoken for. The ginger shifted in small movements, letting his legs fall back open slightly to make room and his hand fall away from Dameron's curls and land against the bedding. "Come on, then, Love. Up. Kiss me."

Poe swiftly sat up to mirror the other’s position, a smirk playing across his features. His eyes dropped down to admire the beauty of Hux’s full mouth, his tongue flicking out to moisten his own. Deep down, he knew this was simply a ploy to get him up and that much closer to getting out of bed; Hux was a brilliant mastermind, after all. But did Poe care? Maker, no. Any chance to indulge in his growing favorite pastime now of kissing his lover, he would gladly take. 

Cupping a side of Gavin’s cheek, Poe grinned, then leaned in, slotting his lips over the others. That sudden surge of warmth that the recruit’s mouth brought elicited a deep groan from the Commander as he began to move their lips together in unison. He rolled more to the side, now on his knees and pressed up against Hux’s chest as he pushed him back into the bed frame. The kiss deepened, their lips now stationary, but their tongues twisting in a heated battle; somewhere in the midst of their lazy make out and fierier, passionate moments before they each reached their climax. 

If Gavin had wanted them to end the kiss and officially roll out of bed to start the day, then so be it. Poe wouldn’t argue. Truth was, they _needed_ to get going. Especially considering how anxious the Rebel pilot was getting to see what the redhead had in store for them later one. But until his boyfriend made that conscious effort to actually break the kiss and nudge him away, Poe was entirely too content right in their current position; lips locked, tongues battling it out, and not a ray of light able to pass through between their bodies.

The ginger looped his arms behind the pilot's neck, happily trapped between the hard frame of the bed and the warm body of his lover. They would have to actually start moving soon, and Hux had the feeling that he would have to be the responsible initiator, but, for the time being, he was content to shuck off all that needed to be done for a while longer. As their kiss continued, he let Poe win the battle between them and made a small squeak when the man pinned Gavin's tongue with his own.

With willpower and a more than a little martial discipline, the General pulled them away from one another. He didn't want to and honestly debated just having someone else - perhaps his brunette shadow - gather the things he needed so that the lovers could stay where they were. The feeling of having Dameron right there and so close was intoxicating. Hypnotic. Addictive in a way that Hux wasn't sure he would ever be able to get over it. He wasn't sure he ever wanted to.

Over the years, the ginger had split himself down the middle and hidden away in two personae. The first was the unmovable, unbreakable General. It was the face he showed everyone around him - quirked brow, slight smirk, ruthless and cunning. In a way, it was his shield an armor that covered his second self, his true self - Armitage Gavin Hux. Yes, he knew that he was one person. He had no delusions about that. But it had become easier to project an image than to actually let people get close to him.

And then there was Poe, who climbed over his walls like they were a picket fence. The strategist stole a soft kiss from the Commander's lips. "Come on. Move. We have to make appearances, remember?"

Dameron could have easily pulled the rank card, ‘as Commanding officer, I order you, recruit, to remain in my bed.’ But, on second thought, that sounded more like a sensual roleplay for another time… Perhaps later in the evening after their date… So then he debated using the fact that he was the one pinning the other against the wooden frame with his own body. Gavin wasn’t weak, however, and could probably shove pretty hard if challenged. That would only result in a trip to the medbay with a nasty lump on the back of his head. 

When it boiled down to it, though, Poe knew that they needed to get up and moving. No matter how badly he wanted the exact opposite. So it was with a feigned sigh of annoyance, perhaps a bit dramatized for effect as well, he placed his hands on either side of the ginger’s head on the frame, gave him one final rough kiss, then pushed himself away. Standing proud beside the bed, he looked down at his lover with a smirk. “C’mon, doll. Quit being lazy and get out of bed,” he teased, one hand extending to ruffle his bright locks. 

As he turned to make his way to the dresser, it dawned on the pilot that, once again, Hux was left without any extra clothes to change into after the night ended and morning appeared to taunt them. The proper thing to do would extend an offer for Gavin to bring a few extra things over for mornings like these. But were they to that point already? They’ve jumped leaps and bounds from their origins, but to make such an offer..? He decided to shake the thoughts from his mind as he pulled out a pair of body hugging boxers to slip into.

A jade gaze watched from the bed as the pilot got dressed, trailing over olive skin and hard lines as they made their way upward before turning away completely and focusing on a random point on one of the bedroom walls. Running through the checklist one more time, Hux finally moved from his spot on the mattress and slowly stood up, giving himself a moment to stretch and bask in the lingering feeling of their tryst. He sauntered over to the Commander, hugging him around the shoulders for a moment before moving away and collecting the slightly damp clothes off the floor.

Really, Gavin should just accept that anytime he and Poe were alone together, he needed a spare attire. As it was, he didn't mind the slightly wet fabric - he would be trading it for a better outfit as soon as he was at the barracks, anyway. He shivered at the cold that came with the clothes as they covered him once more. If he was cruel--

He was.

The General slipped back over to his boyfriend, embracing him in a hold of rain-soaked fabric, chilliness, and mud that had clung to him from their dance in the storm and their rocky shelter. With a low chuckle that was far closer to a snicker than anything kind or joyous, he whispered to Poe. "I'm going to head out, but now you can't complain about talking to yourself because you didn't know I've left." Hux gave his lover a quick kiss before untangling himself and sneaking away.

The yelp that erupted from the Commander’s throat was unlike any noise he has made in recent times. He had just reached for a pair of pants to wear, still very much left in just his underwear, when he felt that soggy, nearly frozen fabric press into his otherwise warm back. He fell forward into the dresser in his attempt to escape the highly unwanted sensation, then turned to flash his lover a scowl. “Payback sucks, babe. Just remember that,” were his parting words as the redheaded recruit took his leave.

Even with a chill creeping up his spine and his skin several degrees cooler than earlier, Poe had a warm smile stretching over his lips. 

Dressing in rather plain clothes, deciding the earlier part of the day warranted no reason to dress-up, Poe took to the corridors. There was a slight bounce to his step, his chin jutted out and raised just a tad bit higher than normally, and he even offered a smile here and there to any he passed by. His feet led him to his destination with no trouble, and just as he suspected, there was Rhys, hard at work on personalizing his own X-Wing.

Poe made no effort to approach him right away or engage them in any sort of conversation. He knew, given time, Rhys would make that initial remark that would then pave the way for them to have a full discussion. Until then, however, the Commander made his way silently over towards his own Starfighter, feeling himself in such peace with his surroundings. Up in the stars, fighting… That was a love of his. An adrenaline rush. 

But there in the hangar, the smell of the oil, the tools all around, and the join of creating something spectacular, that was his true passion. Perhaps he was a mechanic at heart, but if given the choice, he would spend day after day beneath the underbelly of his custom X-Wing, lost in all the wiring, or simply fiddling with menial decorative matters. 

Dameron had only managed to get one grease stain on the front of his shirt before Rhys made his way over to his. 

“Ah, finally decided to be social?” The larger male teased, though there was a slight jab to his tone. 

Walking around the side of the X-Wing, Poe wiped his dirty hands off on a rag that he then tucked back into his rear pocket. “Alright, so what do you want to check first?”

“This isn’t some game, Dameron! I’m not some old schoolmarm checking for dirty fingernails!”

“Then believe me when I say, _nothing_ happened.” Without any more debate, Poe thrusted his arms out and rolled his sleeps up fully to expose the antecubital area. 

Try as he might, Rhys couldn’t resist glancing down and instantly let out a sigh. His shoulders dropped and his head hung forward. “I’m sorry, man, alright? It’s… You worry me when you get into these ruts! You’re _not_ you! What do you expect me to think?”

“Well I’d hope you’d have faith in me—“

The pointed look he received instantly shut him up. Poe had tested that faith one too many times for Rhys to have any full trust in him. And with his attitude lately, his lack of care for anything… Rhys stepped forward and pulled the other pilot into a tight, one armed hug, ending that conversation.

“It was good to see Red finally made it to a lesson,” the portly male teased with a soft chuckle as he stepped away, thick arms folded over his chest. 

That simple comment triggered something in Poe that had his amusement fading away. “What do you mean..?” Of course, he knew Gavin had opted to skip out during his absence, but to hear it from Rhys himself was a different story. 

“Oh, I told you, Red decided to find something better to do with his time than attend my lessons.” Rhys’ tone held nothing but teasing to it, even though Poe was feeling a bit put on the spot. “I just wish I had whatever you have to offer him,” he grinned, clapping Poe on the shoulder in a friendly manner.

“Heh...” A smile briefly tugged at Poe’s lips before disappearing just as quickly. “Keep wishing, big guy.” He muttered, his gaze dropping to the floor beneath his X-Wing.

“No, I just mean, you show up and suddenly Red—“

“—he has a name—“

“—shows full interest in lessons once more! What is it, Dameron?” A teasing elbow nudge at his arm. “You giving the recruit a li'l extra credit I should be aware of?”

Poe felt his face flush for a moment before he forced himself to laugh. “Yup. You caught me, man. I offered him fifty extra points on every exam for making an appearance. Damn. I’ve been caught red-handed.” 

With his own laugh, Rhys shook his head. “Remind me to bribe him with the same next time you decide to run off and play hooky yourself.” 

Poe watched as Rhys walked away with a complete lack of interest on his face. His heart thumped in ways he wasn’t familiar with, and the sour churning of his stomach was concerning. Was it jealousy? But of what? Rhys? Like anything would ever spark _there_. Anger, perhaps? From the taunting that Poe would have to bribe Gavin for his attention? Or maybe he was concerned because he felt a tad bit of truth behind Rhys words? Did Hux really only attend his lectures because he was the one giving them? What did that say about him as an instructor? He’s only as good as his good looks? Pulling out his Datapad, he selected Gavin’s name and sent him a message: [don’t forget we still need to talk to leia] What he decided to leave out was a simple, ‘and you and I need to have a talk too’.

\---

As soon as Hux had left the pilot's room, he slipped back to the barracks. He knew it was late enough for everyone to be waking up, but he hoped that the recruits had more or less dispersed around the base due to their day off. All he needed was a change of clothes and a few moments in the shared showers. He peeked inside, smiling and chatting with the few recruits that were still hanging around in the room, making jokes about slipping in a puddle while exploring the woods and tolerating idle chatter about how exciting it would be to finally start flight lessons.

"Of course," One man - Trevor - with golden hair and deep, brown eyes joked. "You have an unfair advantage, eh, Hux?"

The ginger tilted his head in response.

"I just mean you've already been up in the air with Commander Dameron. You know the ropes and what to expect," Trevor explained at the look he received.

Gavin put a fake smile on, "Oh, well, I suppose." When asked what to be prepared for, he paused. "Our flight consisted of us bickering the entire time. But he's quiet. Cocky as all hell--"

"We are talking about--"

"I'm sure," the General interrupted the interruption. The remaining recruits joined in on the conversation, going back and forth about stories that they had been told by other Resistance members about Poe and Hux couldn't stop the bristle of annoyance and possessiveness that snaked up his spine at the people around him fawning over his boyfriend. 

He excused himself and instead left to pull out a pair of white, denim pants that clung to his legs and a midnight blue button up shirt. Coupling that with dry underwear and socks, the redhead made his way to the showers, happily finding it empty. He quickly rewashed himself, pulled on his clean clothes, and slipped into dry shoes, then left without another word to anyone.

He bustled about and flirted his way into the necessary supplies for that evening and made his way back to Dameron's room, sneaking back in and putting everything away. His datapad lit up and he glanced at the message before returning one of his own. [Then come get me and we'll go. I'm in your room. Wonderful job locking up after yourself.]

As he waited, Hux sent his own reports back to the First Order over his comm and took up a spot on the couch as he waited for his lover to arrive. He wasn't excited about talking to Organa, but he would. If it meant that they both could leave everything that tied them to the war for a few days, he would.

\---

After he had sent his message to his boyfriend, Poe sat his Datapad on top of a small chair he had dragged over, just to keep an eye on it in case he received a message back. The pilot swiftly went back to work, fussing about here and there with different items, tinkering with a few add ons he felt were, but knew weren’t, necessary. From the corner of his eye, he saw the screen flash bright, his heart leaping into his throat. It bothered him that he would get so excited over a simple reply back from someone. And truth was, he wasn’t even sure it _was_ from Gavin.

After wiping his hands off on the rag that was now turning a dirty shade of grease, he picked his datapad up and had a seat in the chair. When he confirmed that it was, in fact, Gavin that had messaged him, Poe felt that stomach flipping, heart racing feeling again. His lips curved up into a natural smile that, of course, Rhys could see from his place in the hangar. 

“Well look at that. And then the Maker said, ‘thy scowleth shall give wayeth to thy smile and all will be right within the galaxy yet again’.” Laughing at his own jesting remark, Rhys shook his head. “Good to see Poe back. Whatever little brooding monster has been here needs to make sure to stay away.” 

Even with a roll of his eyes and a dismissive wave of his hand, Poe’s features maintained his warm smile. Opening the message, he replied back; [I am 99.9% sure I properly locked up this morning. You probably broke your way in] He was teasing of course, so he sent a second message: [Just finishing up here, I’ll be round to inspect the damage shortly] 

Though he started to work a bit quicker, Poe made sure that he was properly finished with his current task at hand before calling it a day. On his way out of the hangar, Rhys reached out, placing a strong hand on his seemingly smaller shoulder. 

“You know I’m just teasing you because I care, right, Dameron?”

With a soft smile, Poe nodded. He lifted his other hand, clapping it against Rhys’, “you’re a good man, Rhys. Stay that way.” Then he took his leave officially. 

Walking into his private corners, Poe wasn’t sure his smile could stretch any wider than it currently was. For some reason, he felt nervous. His palms were clammy, his heart consistently thudding into his ribcage, and all around, he just felt... Jittery. As though he drank an entire pot of fresh coffee; that sort of jittery. When his eyes first landed on Gavin, his breath caught in his throat. The color of the shirt, especially when compared to the starkness of the form fitting white pants and pale skin, nearly made the recruit’s eye color double in sharpness. The ‘wow, that’s my boyfriend…’ thought actually flitted through the Commander’s mind as he stepped further into the room.

He felt less than satisfactory with his now sweaty clothes and smears of grease adorning his features. Nonetheless, he approached the ginger and bent down to give him a quick kiss to the lips. “Here I was half expecting my place to be fully decorated and decked out with a bunch of crap,” he chuckled, looking around to see if he could spot anything that would give him an idea as to what the date later would consist of. “Give me a minute to wash up, then we can head over to Leia’s office, alright?” With another quick peck to Hux’s lips, Poe gave him a playful wink, then made his way towards the refresher.

A hum followed the pilot's leave as well as a wrinkle in the ginger's nose. The man had obviously been at work, if the lingering smell of oil was anything to go by. It was all encompassing and consuming, but, simultaneously, completely natural as it clung to Dameron.

As soon as the refresher door closed, Gavin moved to the refrigerator, checking and double checking what he had collected and smirking to himself. He swiped a water bottle he found in there, untwisting the cap until the little crack of the seal allowed him to open it and take a drink. He sauntered back to his place on the couch and couldn't help the smile that broke across his face. That man - who the smell of oil clung to and the sun kissed - was in a relationship with _him_. As as much as Hux held the Commander's marks, physically, the man was just as claimed by the General.

It took his breath away.

Jade eyes snapped back into focus as the refresher doors opened once more. He straightened his clothes, and waited for Poe to appear, clean, once more.

Stepping out of the refresher shirtless and rubbing a towel over his chest and face, Poe's dark eyes landed on the image of his lover on the sofa drinking from a bottle of water. Such a simple scene before him with absolutely nothing sensual or arousing about it. But the sight still sent his pulse into overdrive and had the normally stoic Commander grinning wide once again. He leaned up against the threshold of the refresher, crossing one foot over in front of the other, and slung the towel over his shoulder. Luckily, his slacks received no stains to them, but the shirt definitely needed to be changed.

"So how's your day been so far?" Poe asked softly, though genuinely intrigued. His mind took him back to what Rhys had discussed with him, and as much as he wanted to approach that subject, it just did not feel like the proper time. Onyx eyes drifted lower from Gavin's eyes to once more take in the alluring image of his partner in the blue shirt. Green had turned into his favorite color rather quickly once he began to take full appreciation of Hux's eyes into account. But damn... That color looked fucking good on him.

Walking into his bedroom, letting the refresher door finally slide shut, the pilot dropped the hardly dampened towel onto the floor by his dresser and started rummaging around for something that would at least make him look halfway decent. Colors didn't seem to compliment him as perfectly as they complimented the redheaded recruit which had Poe actively searching, something he normally didn't care about. With a huff, he finally settled on a charcoal grey shirt with a bit of a v-neck in the front and sleeves that hugged his muscles rather nicely.

"My day?" Hux repeated. He shrugged and sauntered over to lean against the doorway, his eyes trailing down his lover's form with a spark of pride. "Surprisingly not bad. I've found everything we need for tonight, though I had to make a few adjustments and I got to hear some recruits go on and on about how excited they were for flight lessons and how _amazing_ you are." A red eyebrow raised slightly, a small twitch before it settled. "Rico's still cleaning as you jealously bid him to do, but I'm sure you knew that it would take him all day."

At the mention of Rico, Poe chuckled rather proudly; he had forgotten he assigned the annoying, clingy recruit to a day of scrubbing. Was it immature of him to react in such a way? Of course. Did he regret doing it? Not one bit. Poe could get… Possessive. Not exactly in a way that would ever hinder the other from living their life as they wanted, but if something encroached on his territory, made him feel threatened in even the _slightest_ … Well, he would definitely come up with some way to deter the offender and send them on their way. 

Sad part about it, though; Poe was certain that wasn’t going to be the last of Rico. That was one overly persistent recruit. Too friendly. Too handsy. And now that there was an official title between Commander Dameron and recruit Hux, Poe wasn’t going to let Rico become Gavin’s second skin for too much longer. A friendship was one thing, fawning over his lover was another. 

A tilt to his head had Gavin's still wet fringe falling into his face, dropping to just over his eyebrow before a porcelain hand brushed the fiery locks back into place. He moved, suddenly, to stand by the pilot and lightly run his fingers through the dark curls - styling and mussing at the same time. His gaze dropped to the rest of Dameron's features, his dark eyes and olive skin that seemed to glow gold in the right lighting. With a smile and a soft kiss the General stepped back.

"You know what would look incredible on you?" The slighter man questioned before immediately following it up with an answer. "Rustic colors. They'd bring out, well, you. Then, again, you look good in everything and you don't have a hair color that will clash with certain colors."

With a few more steps to separate them before anything heated could deter them from their personal duties once more, Hux put his hands in his pockets and tilted his head toward the door. "Shall we go see your fearless leader about taking time off?"

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” the shorter male half-teased, making sure his datapad was securely tucked away. He knew General Organa would mention his filled schedule, so as proof that he had cleared up time in order to go on this ‘mission’, he deemed it necessary to bring along. 

As they neared the door, Poe reached out for Gavin’s hand and swift tugged him back, turning him so they were chest to chest. “You’re wrong, by the way,” he mumbled, his gaze lowered and focused on Hux’s enticing lips. “There is not a thing in this galaxy that you could wear and not look stunning in.” Pulling him closer, Poe silenced any remark the other could make with a deep kiss, already anxious for the day to come to an end so he could properly enjoy his lover once more.

A smile was painted onto pink lips, a hint of a darker shade coming to them after a morning of kissing and pleasuring one another. As they watched each other, held close for seconds after their kiss had ended, silence fell upon them. It was comfortable and knowing, as though they were having a full conversation without the need of vocalization. They were reading the words provided by each other's eyes.

When he spoke, Hux's request held more to it than a simple talk for vacation time. "Come with me, then." He untangled himself and stepped up to the door, putting a more professional expression onto his face, as though they were walking from Dameron's room after a serious conversation and not as two people in a relationship that no one knew about. "Let's go."

Gavin let Poe lead them as they made their way to General Organa's so-called office. Their approach came with confused stares thrown their way by everyone who noticed them. Had they really become so well-known in their strife that everyone knew at least a small bit of their rivalry? The pilot had mentioned that gossip spread quickly, and it wouldn't surprise him if every recruit had gone off after each class in which they clashed to tell everyone they met about what they saw, but he hadn't expected to actually openly see reactions. Perhaps that expectation came from his normally stoic staff.

Regardless, as the Commander knocked on Leia's door, the redhead focused once more. He murmured, just before they were let in, "You need to start this. You're the ranked officer. I can take over as soon as you wish, but I can't start the conversation without it being blaringly obvious that this has nothing to do with a mission to fix your X-Wing."


	29. Young and Stupid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a little apology for not updating for a while, here's a bit of a short chapter.
> 
> Love ya'll!!

That urge, that _need_ , for a reassuring kiss was almost too great for Poe to ignore. But being so exposed in the busy corridor, standing outside of Leia’s office, just was _not_ the place for that sort of comfort. “I have spoken with her before, you realize…” Poe muttered very lowly, just loud enough for the two of them to hear. Before the last word had even drifted from his lips, however, the door was sliding open. 

“Commander Dameron.” Leia’s voice was like a vice grip to the shorter male’s heart. All that confidence and cockiness he had built himself up to on the walk there about going in there and speaking to her suddenly vanished. And there stood that awkward teenager about to ask a parent to spend the night at a lover’s house.

“General Organa.” He replied, attempting to keep his voice as level and confident as he possibly could.

“And, I must admit. I am surprised at your choice of company.” Her brow lifted and an almost unnoticeable smirk appeared on her lips.

Clearing his throat, Poe nodded and stepped in, motioning for his recruit to follow suit. “I have actually brought him here with an idea. A... Proposition, if you will.”

“Alright, you have my attention.”

With a nod, Poe stood tall and proud. “My Starfighter, it needs to be fixed.” Smooth enough, right?

“And is it broken, Commander?” Leia asked as she resumed her seat on the other side of the desk, giving Gavin a weary glance over. 

“W-Well no, but—“

“—then why would it need to be fixed?” The woman could sense a hint of nervousness to her best pilot, which honestly, intrigued her. 

“W-Well, not _fix_ , but.. But _improve_.”

Leia nodded, folding her hands on her desk. “But do you not already have the fastest and most accurate X-Wing of my pilots?”

Making a tiny whimpered sound in the back of his throat, Poe turned to Gavin with a ‘fucking help me out there’ look.

Jade eyes rolled I'm response. "Fast, perhaps, General, but not efficient nor the most accurate," Hux stepped in, giving Organa a respectful nod. Cautiously, he made his case, careful to stray away from exactly where they were going and only describing the possible changes to Poe's ship in minimal detail.

The woman watched the two of them, her brown eyes flickering back and forth between the pilot and the ginger. Something shined in her eyes that looked a lot like recognition wrapped in satisfaction. She nodded as he spoke, making a few soft noises here and there to show either her approval or apprehension. The First Order General kept his stance relaxed, regardless of his straight back and locked his expression into something close to boredom, shooting Dameron a glance from time to time of varying degrees of fake annoyance.

"And you want to be a pilot, Hux?" Leia asked softly once he had finished. "You should be on staff. A technology professional or a strategist." A small smile quirked at her lips. "I must say that I'm happy you two have found a common ground, somewhere. You know, Hux, the moment you came here, the moment I read your file and you told me where you've come from, I knew that you would fit in here. And I hoped that you two would see that you could make a good team--"

"With all due respect, General," Gavin cut her off, raising an eyebrow. "Commander Dameron may see eye-to-eye regarding the poor craft he claims to be an X-Wing, but I assure you that our 'teamwork' is much closer to a burning bridge than a support system."

Organa was silent, watching the two of them with a sharp expression. "And how long would these changes take?"

"It can be done in a week," the ginger answered. "And seeing as I can't exactly go back to where I came from for break, I might was well use my time off productively, if you can grant your star pilot a short break away."

Jade eyes turned to Poe, a look of 'your turn' flashing through them and a smirk forming on the pale pink lips. Leia was obviously receptive to the idea, for one reason or another, but Hux had a distinctive feeling that she knew much more than she let on and was more than curious and cautious about what she would reveal about him - she, after all, believed him to be a runaway from the Order, not a normal recruit - and what her final say in the matter would be.

Poe caught the little smirk flashed his way and he tried to keep one of his own from reaching his features. So as he turned back to face the General, he wiped any amusement off his expression and instead, tried to offer her a stern look commanding respect. “I can assure you, General, that I have taken the time to rework my schedule in order to accommodate such an idea.” It wasn’t that he was trying to steal credit for Gavin doing all the work, but really, ‘my boyfriend fixed my fuck-ups for me’ just didn’t seem all that appropriate right now.

Though her feigned interest said otherwise, Leia had no desire whatsoever to mull over Poe’s projected calendar once he pulled out his datapad. She looked over corrections, made little ‘mmhm’ sounds whenever Poe would actively try to prove his point even further. Finally, with a sigh, the General leaned back in her seat and gave the pair a nod. 

“I suppose, Commander, if you feel as though your X-Wing is more important right now than anything else you could spend that week on, that I can go ahead and grant you the time.”

The week wasn’t truly meant for ranking personnel to do as they pleased; after all, there was a war to be had, and wars knew no vacations. But… Leia saw a change in her prized pilot. It pained her to watch Poe go through everything he had, even if he tried to conceal his woes from her. Like most everyone else around, she had noticed Poe’s change of attitude. But this… Whatever was brewing between the pair, even if it was simple plans to improve a damn craft, had Dameron excited about something once more. So she gave him a quick little wink, a warmer smile, and a final nod. 

Oh, Poe could kiss Hux right now with how excited he was. But instead, he concealed that grin, giving her only a nod and a ‘thank you’ in return before swiftly turning. He wasn’t even three feet towards the door when his lips opened into a wide smile, realizing that, for an entire week, he would be away from it all with his lover. A true vacation.

The ginger had barely made a half turn before Organa called him back by his name. He faced her, hands falling behind his back in his normal stance and she waved away his professionalism with one hand. "I want you to know that no one knows about what you've told me. From the way I see it, that's your tale to tell, but if you and Poe are going on missions together, now, I think it's in his best interest to know, in case you run into any trouble. That's not an order, but a heavily weighted suggestion."

Gavin nodded in acknowledgement and took his leave, joining his smiling boyfriend and silently gesturing for them to make their way into a less public setting. Truth be told, he was having to use all of his self-control to not be beaming as much as the pilot at his side. They moved quicker, now, than they had while making their way to the talk.

They had secured time away, alone, and completely off of work. The two of them out of the public eye and able to do whatever they wanted for an entire week. As soon as they were safe behind Dameron's doors, the redhead spun and wrapped his arms around his lover's shoulders, finally letting himself smile and laugh like he had wanted to the entire way back. "One week. We're going to have a week."

Dameron was still a bit in shock, though entirely grateful, that everything had actually worked out in their favor. He had truly felt that Leia would stamp the big NO on their proposal and keep her prized pilot on base for whatever reason. Perhaps she knew how in need of some proper time away he was. Or maybe she was on to them. Who knew? What Poe had learned to realize over his years of life were to never question good fortune; when the winds were blowing in your favor, open sail and just push forward. 

His laugh matching Gavin’s, smile slightly smaller, Poe settled his hands firmly on the slender hips. “One. Whole. Week, doll.” The pilot reiterated before leaning in, pressing a soft kiss to his boyfriend’s lips. He then just took a moment to truly appreciate Gavin’s beauty like that; the small crinkles that appeared beside his eyes, the way his head lightly tossed backwards as he laughed, and the very faint, almost unnoticeable pink that dusted his cheeks from his happiness. 

“One week, recruit.” Another peck gave away to a third, then a fourth, before Poe stepped back fully, knowing damn well that he could stand there, making out with the other until their vacation actually started. “So, enlighten me. When will I get to see this big date you’ve got planned out?” He walked over to the sofa, having a seat, and kicking a foot up onto the coffee table for a much more relaxed position, now that the weight of the conversation was off his shoulders.

With a smirk and mischievous glint in his green eyes, Hux followed the pilot to the couch and plopping himself down in Poe's lap. He leaned into him, one arm wrapping around Dameron's shoulders while the other hand softly rested on the opposite side of the man's neck. The ginger pressed a few kisses across his face and jaw. "The date," he answered between pecks. "Can be ready in just a few minutes. I thought we could do something simple. Well, a concept that is simple, the actual events may be less so."

Just as quickly as he had taken up residence in the Commander's lap, the General rose and left once more, disappearing into the kitchen area. Little by little, he unpacked his spoils of the day - fish, vegetables, rice, herbs. He set up pots and pans on the stove and then slipped back into the living area to drag the curly haired man off the couch and to the little set up. "I thought, since I mentioned it before, that for this date, maybe I could cook for you. My mother had a recipe from her family that she used to make, but me, cooking alone, is less of a date and more of a hobby, so... Join me. Let me teach you the recipe and the words that go with it."

Poe let slip a soft whimper when the warmth of his lover’s body was lifted up off of his lap. His arms playfully reached out, hoping to tug the lithe body back down, but Gavin managed to slip away. “Tease,” he laughed faintly as the redhead made his way over into the kitchen. Poe leaned back, stretching an arm across the back of the sofa, making himself even more comfortable than previously. But Hux’s words piqued his interest too much, making him strain his neck to get a better look into the small kitchenette his quarters had. 

Gavin softly smiled, waiting for the pilot's response and wondering if the idea would come across as silly. He looked over at the small dining table that he had covered with a white tablecloth and adorned with a candle set and bottle of wine that he persuaded off another resident of the base. "What do you think?"

“Wow.”

It warmed the pilot to know that the recruit was willing to share a recipe his mother had from his childhood; but to not simply let him indulge in the taste, but to also allow him to make it with him. Poe felt like Hux was opening up another little window into his past and who he was outside of his cold, snarky exterior he put on for others. Standing, the dark-haired male made his way towards his partner, an endearing smile residing upon his lips. 

As he stepped up behind him, his gaze landed on the romantic spread adorning his table. He leaned in, pressing his lips to the pulsating point on Hux’s neck, letting them linger there as he studied the ginger’s heartbeat. “Incredible,” he mumbled, leaving a second kiss that didn’t last quite as long as the one it followed. “I…” His lips left a trail now of suckling pecks from his neck down to his shoulder, using one hand to pull the blue fabric away, revealing more creamy skin. “Would absolutely love to.” 

But the thought of learning Mama Hux’s recipe made Poe’s brow furrow slightly in thought. Organa had mentioned Gavin’s file, and ‘where he came from’. “You know… You went and snooped all in my chart like it was the next best mystery novel. And yet… You, my love, are still a bit of a mystery to me.” He lifted his trail once again, this time resting his lips against Gavin’s earlobe, giving it a playful nibble. “What was so interesting in your chart, hm??”

Hux shuddered a the attention first paid to his neck and now to his ear. Truth be told, there wasn't much to be said about the fake file the Resistance held. There was nothing in it that would point to anything other than a simple life that had been dragged into war. A well off family with a military history and a want to follow in his father's footsteps. Thus, his fake persona turned to the First Order to achieve his goals, only realizing once there that the ideals of the Order did not line up with his own.

Never mind the fact that recruitment didn't exactly work that way for the military organization, but so long as the explanation was accepted as truth, such details didn't matter. The ginger wasn't sure that any of that was of concern to Poe, but Organa had seemed to want both of them on the same page.

Slipping away from the pilot once more, Gavin turned to flip on the stove and start the process of frying the fish. "There are very little details in my file that you don't already have some knowledge about. Or more. After all, you know more about me than most." He paused to gesture at what he was doing. "Lasg agus luibhean - fish and herbs." Jade eyes kept careful vigil over the food. "Could you cut up the vegetables? Mix them all together and we'll sauté them."

Dameron would find out one way or another. It was silly to think otherwise. Regardless, Hux kept them away from the topic as they chatted and laughed as they continued to cook the fish, glaze, and vegetables. After a few moments of silence, the General sighed and stopped what he was doing to turn around and look at Dameron. "Bheil sibh ag iarraidh fios a bhith againn?" Then he translated. "Do you really want to know?"

The next phrase he spoke, he left in his own language, the meaning made more for himself than for Poe. "Gheibh thu a-mach luath gu leòr, an dèidh a h-uile." You'll find out soon enough, after all.

As the conversation lessened and lightened to casual chatter, the two exchanging chuckles and small jokes between them, Poe tried to keep the thought of the file off of his mind. It wasn’t his business, in the end. And whatever past Gavin wanted to conceal from him, then… So be it. They were, after all, a new couple. No need to spill every dirty little secret and drag out every skeleton from within the closet. Still, it bothered him. Maybe a bit childishly with the whole, ‘you saw my chart, it’s only fair’, mindset. But then again, Dameron never claimed to be perfect. Or mature, for that matter.

When the question was directed to him in Basic the second time around, he couldn’t help but quirk a brow. Yes. Truly, he wanted to know. But if Gavin had made that attempt to squelch the desire earlier, would discussing it now benefit either of them? He turned away from the stove and moved to a small piece of the countertop to lean back against.

Dark eyes admired the confidence his lover seemed to exuberate in the kitchen, nodding. His arms folded over his chest and he contemplated his answer before speaking. “Yes.” But then he sighed and shook his head. “Look, your past is your past. But if your future is to include mine, in some way, then I feel it is only right that its discussed. I mean, we’ve shoved quite a lot of trauma down the other’s throat since we’ve met… I can’t imagine anything else being much of a shock, to be honest.”

He hadn’t meant his words in a mocking way, so a light chuckle followed them closely behind. The confessions they’ve made to one another about their vices and demons were twisted, no doubt about it. So whatever Gavin had to tell him, Poe was expecting the worst, just to prepare himself to react accordingly, and not out of shocked emotion. “It’s just... If General Organa has taken any interest in it…” His worlds trailed off as Poe lifted his gaze, a subtle, ‘please?’ hinting in them.

Hux glanced at the fish and then back at the pilot. Even in the most simple of places - in a kitchen, against a counter, as they cooked dinner - the man was stunning and the ginger took a moment to admire that and to step forward to steal a brief kiss. He nodded slightly, debating in his own mind what to say. For the sake of his own mission, the mention of the First Order at all was to gain sympathy and to make sure that, if he did somehow appear on a search or was recognized by a prisoner, that he already had a cover story.

Until the day he left, Gavin's affiliation with the Order would not directly impact Poe. A secret kept, a secret lost. It seemed out of place to bring up his associations - past, present, future - after they had secured time away from all ties to the war. Slowly, cautiously, he started to spin the tale he had rehearsed and read and memorized on the days leading up to his undercover introduction to the Resistance.

"My father, tyrant as he was, was a military man. Highly awarded, well known, respected. And, as much as I hated him and wanted to get away, part of me still looked up to him and wanted to be like--no," the General trailed off, deeming to add his own truth to the lie, to give Dameron a true part of himself instead of just what was written on a piece of paper. "I wanted to be better than him. I wanted to beat him at his own game. I wanted people to remember him as being in my shadow, not the other way around."

He moved forward once more, flipping the fish and stirring the vegetables and sauce before returning to his original position. The redhead reached out, snow-white, winter fingers seeking sun-kissed, summer ones. As their hands connected and hung between them, he continued. "My introduction to the war was through the First Order. I enlisted and for years I remained with them until... Until my eyes were opened to the possibility that they were wrong. To the truth of it all. And I left as soon as I could, sought refuge, here, and switched allegiances." Gavin looked down as the truth and lies blended. "That's what in my file."

There were many things Poe could have prepared himself to hear, but to hear he was dating an ex-member of the First Order really wasn’t something he’d ever think he’d hear. “Oh…” Not a terribly great reaction, especially in its muttered tone, but it was the best the Commander could come up with at the moment. So Gavin was a part of the enemy at one point… He had defected though, had he not..? Came to his senses? It should be no big deal; after all, General Organa trusted him enough to allow him to join…

“Well. You were young and stupid, right?” Lifting Gavin’s hand, Poe placed a subtle kiss to his knuckles, then dropped the hold. He turned back to face the stove, pretending to be interested in lifting the pan and giving the vegetables a good shake. “Once, when I was younger, I thought it’d be a brilliant idea to accept a drinking challenge at a pub. Woke up two days later, completely naked in the middle of a field. So, basically, we all make stupid choices in life, right?”

He chuckled, not wanting to think of Hux having anything to do with the First Order. “Glad you came to your senses, though. And realized what absolute idiots the entire lot are. I mean, really? _They_ think they can have complete rule over the entire galaxy?” The Resistance Commander snorted and gave his dark eyes a dramatic roll for effect. “I bet their General couldn’t even lead his so-called army out of a brown paper bag if push came to shove. C’mon.” Turning to face Gavin once more, the pilot had a playful grin back on his features.

Hux tried to keep the scowl off his face - tried to remind himself that Poe was joking and unaware that it was Gavin he was insulting. He assumed the General of the First Order was far away and not listening to the insults handed out. "Yeah," he finally murmured in agreement. "I was young and stupid..." Still, he bristled. His pride wanted him to snap back and defend itself, prove that the Commander was wrong in his assumptions.

Still, even as the ginger moved to check on the dinner and to separate the food onto plates, he kept his mouth shut and faked a smile. He pressed a kiss to the pilot's cheek, purposely avoiding his lips as he passed to go to the table. Jade eyes watched as Dameron took his place and, soon, they were seated. Only then did Gavin tongue get the better of him. "I wouldn't be so cocky, Flyboy," his tone was clipped. "The First Order is formidable. More than you know."

With that, the redhead turned his focus downward to his plate, setting aside his need to speak up for himself to instead judge how well the recipe had been followed. The beautiful blend of flavors perfectly contrasted the tense silence that fell over them. One of his lips curled. He shouldn't have said anything. Should have just let Poe figure it out long after Hux had vanished and returned to his true life. "So where did you go while I was gathering everything? Have a fun, what did you say this morning? You had to talk to someone?"

It was very obvious that something was off between the two of them. Tension hung thickly in the air around the couple, even once dinner began. First bite of the food, however, broke that awkward silence as Poe let out a soft groan of approval; the flavors, as they burst in his mouth, were a very welcomed taste, especially compared to the bland portions Poe had found himself settling with out of laziness instead of actually making an effort to eat better. The pilot had found himself taking a second bite, his fork loaded up with a good chunk of fish and several vegetables, before he had even finished chewing the first bite. 

So when the questions were directed towards him, he had to allow himself a few moments to chew and swallow. 

“Mm. Well.” Reaching out for his glass of wine, the Commander took a few sips, loving the bitter twinge as it washed away the delicate balance of seasoning. “I went down to the hangar bay and decided to do a few tune ups on the X-Wing.” As he spoke, he swirled the wine around in his glass, smiling softly at his lover across the table from him. Beneath, he reached out with his foot to playfully rub at the back of his thigh. “Had a pretty good chat with Rhys, though. He’s the one I wanted to talk to anyways.”

The conversation he had with his friend resurfaced in his mind, making the Rebel fighter chuckle before he took another drink of the wine. His eyes locked on the fiery redhead across the way from him and he smirked. “He whined about wishing he could offer the same extra credit that you seem to be seeking from me,” he teased. “Which, I’ve gotta just put it out there now. You won’t be getting any extra credit, so if _that’s_ what you’re after…” His words trailed off as a soft laugh took over, attempting to indicate that he was purely joking.

A sharp, jade gaze greeted the pilot when he met Hux's eyes.


	30. I Left

What did that mean? The ginger thought, brow quirking. Further, why would he, the youngest graduate the Academy had ever seen, need extra credit from a Resistance training program? And what did that insinuate more - that he needed the credit, or that he was fucking the teacher for it? Neither were true, but both were suggested.

Gavin took a sip of his own wine - not the best, but he was surrounded by uncivilized scum, who apparently need other means of getting passing scores in classes whose only exam was whether a person survived their first battle. And, perhaps, if he had been in a better mood and not still seething from the insults that had been so casually thrown his way, the General would take the words for the joke the pilot was playing them off to be, but he'd have to be an idiot to not see the glimmer in Dameron's eyes that indicated his own insecurities.

An idiot sleeping with his mentor in fucking flight school.

"I'm the last of your recruits that needs help," Hux's tone was joking, even as his eyes frosted over. "Besides, all things considered, I don't think I could put up with you solely for extra credit. You'd have to ensure my passing grade and a place on your squad." By the time he'd finished his taunt, his gaze had fallen back to his own plate as he readied his fork for another bite.

Gavin's words struck a little too hard with the curly haired male, who now sat there with his jaw clenched. "Excuse me..?" Surely Hux had not meant what he said in any sort of derogatory way, but after the way Rhys had teased him earlier, to hear that from his lover really did not settle well with him. "Well." He scoffed, forcing a mocking laugh from his lips shortly after. "If that is what you are seeking in the end, then I can assure you right now... Cooking me dinner and sucking my dick are not going to guarantee you either." He scoffed again, this time with a roll of his eyes as he leaned back in his seat.

Reaching forward, he grabbed his wine glass once more and gave the dark liquid a bit of a swirl. As he lifted it to his lips, his gaze locked on the recruit and he couldn't stop his lip from pinching up into a slight sneer. There was no way possible the redhead could only be seeking those from the Commander. Hux was too brilliant of a thinker to even contemplate asking for help. But then again... It seemed to be a night of discoveries when it came to the ginger. First the First Order business. Now this. 

"And by the way, if I'm so fuckin' difficult to put up with... The door is right behind you. The same one you leave through every morning." Poe was hurt now. And for no good reason. Rhys was joking. Gavin was simply defending himself. But both were at Dameron's expense. He huffed through his nostrils and took down the rest of the bitter liquid in one go, setting the glass back down onto the table. With a heated glare locked on Hux, almost in a challenging way, the Commander folded his arms over his chest and waited for his response.

The sneer that had adorned the redhead's lips turned into a scowl as he glared daggers at his current opposition - the man who had insulted him, questioned him, and now turned this into a verbal contest. The Commander should have learned by now, after all the times Hux had put him in his place, that a challenge extended to the General would only end in humiliation and a First Order victory. Because that's what they were back to, weren't they? Light and dark all over again.

"No, Dameron, you're right. Cooking you dinner and sucking your dick are all for show. Fucking you, that's to keep you from running away on a so-called mission, again. Apparently all I have to do to get a grade from you is listen to you complain and show you up in front of everyone," as he spoke, the ginger's shoulders tensed, falling back into their normal, militant, straight cut. 

And perhaps he was starting to drive the proverbial knife too close to the truth, perhaps he was prepared to twist it in a fashion which he knew would hurt Poe the most, perhaps if they had both been rational and not so caught up in their own sense of pride, they might see eye-to-eye and laugh the entire situation off. As it was, Hux was ready for a fight, and it was apparent that the pilot was, as well. The ginger set down his wineglass in a fashion that seemed almost bored - a put upon air of apathy - and crossed his arms as well.

"And, for the record, I did leave to escape you, once, if you recall. You flew away the next day and, upon return, had a breakdown in the middle of a hallway."

The look that took over Poe’s features wasn’t one of anger, or rage, or anything of that matter. It was pure hurt. He took full offense to every word spoken by the other and couldn’t keep his expression from reflecting it. “Debería haber sabido que no podía confiar,” he spoke with a flat tone, his heated gaze focused solely on the sharp brightness of jade eyes. “Usted pendejos son todos iguales.” He had to take a deep breath to calm the way his pulse throbbed in his temples and neck. Running a hand down his face, he chuckled darkly.

“Well, _Hux_ , if all I am good for is a few extra fucking puntos en una prueba, then consider yourself flunked in this round. I’m not going to be some idiota para que usted pueda fuck around with whenever you feel fit. So go running back to your niñita, fracas.”

He stood rather abruptly, both palms slammed down onto the edge of the table, rattling everything. Leaning in, his eyes narrowed on Gavin in a challenging way. 

“So sorry you sucked my dick and cooked me dinner for absolutely nothing. And, uh, don’t worry about needing to fuck me to keep me from running. Because voy a ser tu sombra. I will follow you around just to spite you. Just to _remind_ you of a test you lost. The door.” He lifted his hand, pointing straight to it. “Is right there. So, tell me, recruit. Lo que está usted en esto?”

Hux listened as only half of what the pilot said could actually be comprehended. The part that he understood, however, brought a scowl to his face and he rose from his seat, leaning into Dameron in the same fashion the man was doing toward him. His glare hardened as he gave up all pretense of control. He was _done_. With a quick scan over the shorter man's face - pinpointing and reading the level of anger that resided behind the hurt - the General stepped up to play.

"That door, thu mac galla, is looking more and more attractive by the second," he snarled, eyes flashing silver as they focused only on the man before him. He wouldn't let the man think that he could purposefully try and get a rise out of him and simply walk away without a fight. No. Gavin had already lived that life - that quiet, meek attitude that allowed people to walk all over him. 

It was what kept him with Marcus and had him not fighting back against his father. It's the part of him that he burned away when he took the rank of a commanding officer. He told Poe on the first night he was at the Resistance base that he was no one's bitch. He didn't just roll over when someone challenged him. "Well done, Dameron, I mean just brilliant. Follow me around all you want, I dare you. I want you to. Because that means that every time you see me, you'll be reminded of what you _lost_. And you'll always know that, just like everyone else in your life, I _left_."

As he jerked backward and away from the table, one of the ginger's hands knocked into his wine glass, tipping it to the floor. It shattered, there, in a horde of crimson liquid and jagged glass. Hux didn't turn at the sound, nor did he stop his leave. He was out of the door and down the hall before his fists even unclenched.

Stunned was the only way Poe could feel for the longest time as he rehashed the downward spiral of the evening over and over in his mind. How did they go from being so fucking good, to being… Nothing? As he numbly cleaned up the mess Gavin’s exit had made and the leftovers of the dinner he no longer had an appetite for, Poe tried to determine when, exactly, the threads started unraveling. He went through several different emotions in a short amount of time. 

The Commander felt foolish for ever thinking anything could _ever_ work out between him and a recruit. He felt pathetic for falling victim to the appeal of lust and the warmth a body could bring. Saddened that they seemed to have come so far in such a short period of time, only to allow their individual pride to catapult them right back to the beginning. 

But most of all, and the two emotions that latched onto his every fiber and refused to leave… Anger and betrayal. He felt like he was right back in the pub that night that everything took a turn for the worst between them. Hux had learned of Adrian. They conversed about him. About the whole ordeal. Poe’s anger for his late fiancé leaving him like that, the heartache, and the way it all piled up on him until he finally snapped.

Hux went and threw that all right back into his Maker-damned face. 

The recruit went and reminded him that, yes, everyone did, in fact, leave him. Poe was reminded with a proverbial slap to the face that he wasn’t worth anyone sticking around for. Hux got what he wanted from the man, and was now gone. Just like that. Like all their deep talks and connections meant nothing. Poe had given him an out, and he took it. He ran with it. 

What Poe truly loathed and despised more than _anything_ was how his first reaction was to reach out to Gavin and seek him for that comforting warmth. It skyrocketed every negative emotion he was already feeling and made his hands tremble. Sitting on the edge of his bed, his knee began to bounce up and down in a nervous tic. He fussed with his hands, tugged at his hair, rubbed at his nose until it turned raw, then rubbed it even more. He needed something. Something to take the edge off. But last thing he wanted was to give Hux that satisfaction of knowing he broke him.

\---

The ginger, meanwhile, stalked the halls, leaving a chilly air in his wake. People stepped aside for him as he made his way in circles, hands clasped behind his back like the military man he was. He glared at anyone who approached him, turning them away as soon as they made any move to talk to him.

It hurt. It all hurt - the insults, the accusations, the lingering feeling that he had come so close to finally being whole again and lost it all. Jade eyes closed as Gavin stopped walking. He was outside, but he didn't remember exactly how he got there. The cool, night air wrapped him in a blanket of darkness. Anger towards himself and Poe, hurt, and desperate resolution flowed through him.

Of course they would end in fire, be it from a massive laser in the sky or something they sparked themselves. Before they ever began, they had an end date. They were joking--No. The General was joking himself if he thought that everything would be okay in the end. And that angered him more than anything else - the knowledge that he had let himself be open and honest to a man he would inevitably leave.

Dammit, Dameron.

Strong arms suddenly wrapped around Hux from behind and his eyes snapped back open.

"Hey, hey, Red, calm down," Rhys voice soothed in his ear.

The ginger wanted to kick and scream and snap. He wanted to tear the portly man down the same way he shattered the other Commander to pieces. He wanted to inflict just as much hurt as he felt. He had fallen victim to his own self need. He needed to have someone, needed to be tethered to someone he could trust. He needed Poe and that made it all the worse.

Gavin collapsed back against Rhys and let the large man hold him up and shush him and calm him at least to the point that he didn't want to lash out at everyone he saw. The ice in his veins remained, but now he just felt tired.

"That's it, Red. Just breathe for a bit," the Commander cooed. He had no idea what set the recruit off, but he knew that Hux needed help. He could see that from inside the hangar as he had watched the redhead stalk outside and then become so eerily still. "I'm going to level with you, man. I don't know what's going on in your head and I've learn after years of dealing with someone else that if a person doesn't want to talk, they won't. But, you can always come and tell me anything, alright?"

Hux went back to the barracks shortly after he was released from the bear hug, where Rico instantly bounced over to him. The brunette slept on the floor beside Hux's bed that night - not quite naive or oblivious enough to squeeze himself into the General's bed, but not quite comfortable with leaving the ginger alone that night.

\---

Sleep was _not_ Poe’s friend that night. Quite the opposite, really. He would find himself dozing off for a few moments at a time before his mind tortured him right back into wakefulness. So there he laid, hands clasped beneath his head, staring blankly up at the ceiling. By now, his vision had long since adjusted to the darkness of the night, but even so, his gaze could focus on nothing. There should be a warm body between his arms. Soft lips against his own. Laughter should be filling his room until the sun threatened to peak through the starkness of the night. 

It irked the Resistance Commander how he had already grown accustomed to having Gavin by his side; after all, they’ve only spent a few nights together so far. But damn, was he missing that other body beside him… Poe tried to imagine the steady breathing of his lover sleeping. Or the soft little hums he would make after breathing in deeply, and the little mumbles of incoherent thoughts as he turned over. It was quite. Too quiet.

As morning light finally began to lighten the dark sky, the last thing Poe wanted to do was roll out of bed, plaster on a happy face, and tackle the day. Alone. Especially after how far he had come with Rhys just the day prior. If he were to go back to stalking the halls and throwing heated glares at passersby, it would send up red flags. So, Poe did the best he could do to make himself presentable before stepping out into the corridor with a feigned disposition of happiness.

Taking up a seat in the mess hall, Dameron had secured himself a large, steaming mug of coffee, black, and something he assumed was meant to be fruit. He was thankful his table remained void of anybody else, but he would surprise others by offering them kind smiles as they passed and caught his gaze. Inside, he felt cold and empty. But on the outside, there was the pilot they had all nearly forgotten existed. The smiling, friendly, almost welcoming persona that was Poe Dameron.

“Well, don’t you look worse than a pile of Happabore shit.”

“Good morning to you too, Rhys.” 

Looking up from his nearly finished mug of coffee, Poe smirked at his closest friend. He was sure dark circles haunted his eyes from his lack of sleep, but that was nothing a little, or a lot, of coffee couldn’t help.

“Rough night?”

Dameron sighed softly, shaking his head before he forced himself to chuckle. “Just.. Couldn’t sleep, is all. Taking the kids up into the air this morning,” he teased, rolling his eyes in a playful manner. “You know how nerve-wracking that can get.” 

“There always seems to be one puker, one panicking, one overly cocky, one too stupid to comprehend, and one that bursts into tears and ends up dropping the class the next day.”

That had both the men laughing, mostly because of how true Rhys’ words were. With a softer sigh and another chuckle, Poe finished off his coffee and stood. “Wish me luck,” he grinned, feeling a bit more at ease, as he started his way towards the tarmac.

The recruits were less lined up that morning than ever, and Hux had to stop himself from taking over and whipping them into a formation that was suitable for an army, no matter how makeshift it was. As it turned out, Rico provided a brilliant distraction. He was as full of the energy that the ginger was lacking, and, while everyone was buzzing with excitement for their flight training, Rico was vibrating. He bounced around and clung to Gavin, pulling him from group to group in an attempt to make him feel better and go back to being snarky instead of just still and quiet.

The truth of the matter was this: Hux was broken. He was tired and aching inside and already unhappy with himself for waking up as early as he had to go through his morning routine. He wanted to crawl back under the covers and sleep all day. But more than that urge, he wanted to show Dameron that he was fine without him. He wanted to prove that he didn't need the man's help or his company.

Hux wanted to convince himself of that, too, and perhaps that was more the reason why he had decided to move forward like nothing was plaguing him. He wouldn't admit to himself that someone could get so close to him and then be lost just as swiftly. No. He was a General. He could handle and control himself. He never needed support before, he could certainly go back to that, right?

As his mentor made his cocky appearance, Gavin straightened his stance, put on a smirk, and quirked a brow. The Winter Prince once more. He could hide away in his facade much easier than admit he was wrong and wanted Dameron back.

Somewhere deep inside, Poe was hoping that Hux would look as broken as Poe felt. Which, unfortunately, wasn’t the case. It bothered him to catch that initial glimpse of him that showed, perhaps, nothing was bothering the redhead, so Poe kept his gaze adverted. “Well. Good morning.” As he stood in front of his class, hands settled confidently on his hips, Poe grinned at the overly excited bunch. He absolutely loved being up in the air, in control of such a powerful craft. He did not love being stuck in the air in the hands of assorted recruits. However, flying was flying, and he was willing to make the best of it. 

The Commander went through each and every rule that he and the other flight instructors had come up with, pacing back and forth in front of the eager pilots. When he passed by Hux, he allowed his gaze to scan over him, attempting to keep some air of dignity to himself as he hoped he wasn’t coming off as too pathetic. Not so soon, at least. After finishing and going through a round a questions, he finally deemed them ready enough to get up in the air. 

Shoving on his own helmet, he held another one out in front of him, slowly making his way up and down the unassembled line once more, deciding who to pick first. For a moment, he stopped in front of Gavin, glaring at him through the visor. The ginger had requested going last… Poe could force him to go first, just to spite him. Just to fuck with him and piss him off.

He didn’t. Not even with as hurt as he was by the other, he couldn’t force himself to stoop that low. No, low blows like that seemed to be Hux's specialty. Why not leave it to the professionals? So, instead, he shoved the helmet against Rico’s chest, deciding it best to get the annoying brat out of the way first.

“Follow me,” he instructed as he led the brunette further onto the tarmac towards an overly large X-Wing specifically designed to properly accommodate two pilots. A craft that size wouldn’t be terribly valuable in battle, but it served its purpose on base with its duel sets of controls, for the situations where the recruit simply lost it and Poe had to intervene.

Green eyes watched the two men walk away before looking down and following the remaining recruits to a different spot in the hangar where they could sit in a large huddle and watch as the lesson commenced. To say he had been surprised that Poe stopped in front of him at all would have been accurate. He expected the man to ignore him or call him out again, not hover around him like ghost before deciding to haunt someone else.

Still, Hux glanced once more at the duo as they climbed onto the training craft. A part of him was saddened to think that he and Dameron wouldn't be as close as they were the first time he flew for the Commander, but that part of him was silenced by the coldness that still lingered in his consciousness. He turned away, catching sight of Rhys working on his own X-Wing across the hangar. As Rico and Poe made their way down the tarmac, Gavin made his way to the other man.

Rhys offered him a smile as he approached. "You look like you want to murder the shit out of someone. Are those your two settings, Red? Either you're laid back and unmovable or you're ready to kill everyone."

"More or less."

"Well, remind me to always stay on your good side. You've got a wicked glare," the pilot joked, his amicable nature rolling off of him and forcing a small smile onto Hux's face as well. "You ready for your flight?" He asked before changing subjects quickly. "Please do me a favor and don't lay into Poe up there. He's been in much higher spirits lately and he loves flying. Don't ruin it for him."

"I'm sorry, kindness was not listed in either of my settings," Hux snarked.

"There he is. There's the recruit we all know."

Rico, surprisingly, had done a rather decent job behind the controls. He wasn’t the greatest pilot ever, but he certainly wasn’t the worst. And while they were up in the air, Poe was temporarily able to ignore his dislike for the man and actually indulge in a relatively enjoyable conversation that had both of the pilots laughing as they made their final descent. 

Once they touched down on the tarmac again, however, Poe’s amusement faded; he was one person closer to being stuck up in the air with Gavin. Instructing Rico to send over the next person he named, Poe remained in the cockpit, subtly glancing over in Hux’s direction with a saddened sigh. 

One by one, Poe weeded his way through all of the recruits, using the opportunity to get to know them better. And just like Rhys had joked about earlier that morning, he came across the crier, the panicker, the cocky one, the stupid one, the one he was certain wouldn’t return, and the fifth recruit barely was able to wait until the cockpit hissed open before chunks were flying down onto the runway beneath.

Finally, he had to instruct the recruit sitting with him to send Hux over. As Poe sat there, nervously twiddling his thumbs, he felt a flurry of emotions overtake him. What were they even considered now, at this point? Exes? The term seemed so… Juvenile. And were they truly over, just like that? As quickly as they had started? Was this just a fight that they could somehow work through in the end? The Commander could only wish that he had the answer to those questions. But as he watched his lover – previous lover? – making his way towards him, he felt his heart clenching; this was going to be brutal…


	31. Not Okay

As he approached the X-Wing, Hux slowed his stride. He wasn't entirely shocked that he was the last person to have time with the Commander - not because he had requested it last night before things took a turn for the worst, but because he assumed that both of them wanted to put off the time they would be sharing in a cramped area as much as possible. The ginger took a moment at the bottom of the rope ladder to steel himself and thank the stars that Rhys had told the remainder of the recruits that they could leave once they had performed their own flight lesson.

Everyone had come back in such good moods, bouncing and happy as they retold the group of their time up in the air. Gavin knew that wouldn't be the case for him and his--whatever they were, now. Putting on a mask of indifference that didn't quite cover the emotion in his jade eyes, the redhead ascended the ladder and slipped into the open seat and strapped the awaiting helmet on.

Trying to lighten the mood and break the tension, if only for a moment and out of spite, Hux joked over the radio. "Wonderful planning, have the shortest girl in the class go before me so I have to waste time re-situating the seat. Well done, Fly--Commander. The minor inconvenience has done its job."

That came out much colder than he originally intended and the ginger deemed it time to just stop talking. He flipped the last few controls and settings over to his own preference without instruction. Within moments, the General glanced over at Poe to receive the go-ahead and, upon getting no reaction whatsoever, the General decided to just start the lesson and get it over with. "If there's a handlebar near you, feel free to hold it as tightly as possible."

What exactly was Poe expecting to happen? Did he assume they would suddenly be fine, everything between them settled and back to where it should be? Perhaps _this_ was where things were meant to be between the pair. After all, they started off fiery and at each other's throats. It'd only be fitting that was how they would end as well. Regardless, Poe felt disappointed when Gavin took his seat in the co-pilot's seat and was quick to start with the degrading remarks. 

Sighing, Poe simply shook his head and decided to ignore the other's words. "The objective of this flight is to, first, not show off, second, not get us killed, and, third, correctly maneuver the craft to display basic skill and any type of intermediate or advanced skill if you truly have it. This is not a time for you to try and impress me by going out of your skill set."

It was the same exact speech he started off every flight with the other recruits. The only difference with this, was Poe didn't allow himself to slip into conversation with Hux. Throughout the morning and early afternoon, the Commander had made an attempt at engaging in friendly chatter with each and every one of his recruits, the exception being Rico. But even then, he wasn't unfriendly. Just... Not as open. 

After laying out the ground rules, Poe settled back in his seat with another sigh. This sucked. Majorly. He was previously looking forward to spending time alone with his lover in the craft, switching into autopilot for a quick make-out session, teasing and just... Enjoying each other's company. Not this awkward, angry tension building up between them. The sooner they landed back on the tarmac, the better, in Poe's honest opinion.

With the corner of his lower lip bitten between his teeth, Hux put them into motion. He kept a wary eye on the Commander, watching for any kind of hint that the man's nonverbal language may give him, but he came up empty. Poe was very purposefully schooling his features - and, really, what more could he expect? The pilot knew what happened when Gavin was able to take in information without restraint. That's what got them into this mess in the first place, wasn't it?

As the training craft lifted into the air, the General ran through his options. He could break the ice - genuinely this time - and try to talk to the other man, try and figure out what was left after they had shattered so thoroughly last night. He could just get the lesson over and done with and bow out gracefully, fade into the background of the class and give his full attention over to where it _should_ be, not where it _could_ be. After all, he was here on a mission that was hardly fulfilled. Yes, he had gotten closer to his goal, bit by bit, but not as quickly as he or Snoke wished.

They always had an end date. Was this easier? Leaving it here and not looking back? Accept that the person who mirrored him so perfectly, knew about his past, and cared and supported him, anyway, was out of his reach? Hux never thought that he deserved any kind of happiness or second chances until he met Poe. He should just let it go and let sleeping dogs lie, but...

But once he committed to something, the ginger gave it his everything, and if he couldn't see this through, then it wasn't just a failure, it was another piece of 'Gavin' dying and another mark in favor of 'General Armitage G. Hux'.

As soon as he leveled them out, he reached across the control board, stretching over Dameron, to turn on autopilot. Pale hands dropped into the redhead's lap as he tried to figure out what to do, what to say, if there was anything to say. "If you want me to leave the program, just say it."

When the ginger stretched across him to flip the switch, Poe felt his breath catch in his throat and his body went rigid for a brief moment, but he was quick to relax when Hux was back in his own seat. The words next spoken by the recruit caught the Commander completely off guard, and for a moment, he froze. He tried to force himself to say, 'yes', and 'leave, see if I care,' but he couldn't. 

"You were invited into the program. It's not my call to make. If you want to leave, be my guest. Apparently, I am used to people leaving."

Had it been before they connected on the level that they did, Poe would be chomping at the bit for the fiery redhead to leave the program all together. And perhaps it would be better off in the end if Hux was gone. He could go back to focusing on the task at hand. He could fall back into being a good soldier, free of any emotions and any ties to anything. Rhys had only gotten a few brief moments of him in better spirits, it's not like it would make much of a difference. 

Deep down, however, he _wanted_ Gavin to stay. He wanted what they just had. That warmth, and connection, and that feeling of completeness. The Commander's expression remained void of any sign of emotion... He knew how well the recruit was at reading people, last thing he wanted was for Hux to catch on to how absolutely hurt he was.

The words spoken did not provide an answer for the ginger to go off of and he dropped his gaze completely, focusing on his hands clasped in his lap. He could get a transfer, refocus himself with another Commander or another sector all together. Surely he would be more useful as a recruit in a more strategically geared branch of the Resistance, right? But that would mean he would have to accept this as goodbye and he couldn't quite say farewell so soon.

Hux sighed and, against regulation, unstrapped his helmet and pulled it off. He dropped it to the floor with a 'thump' that seemed so loud in the tense air between them. He was _trying_ to do them both a favor by offering to leave. He was trying to move forward or start a conversation or do anything other than just mope in an X-Wing.

"Just putting it out there, Dameron, if you didn't push people away so hard, they probably wouldn't leave."

Oh, that was a thought that was supposed to stay in his head, not be vocalized as an attack.

"Of course, I'm sure that I'll be leaving soon, anyway, since I no longer have a form of extra credit that I apparently need." Force, that was supposed to stay internalized as well. Gavin bit down on his tongue before he could say anything else.

Poe could only shake his head as Hux continued to speak."Go on, keep i-insulting me. I can take it. Do whatever it takes to make you feel better about yourself." The pilot's jaw clenched as he fought hard to keep the hurt from fully surfacing. As it was, already, his voice wavered, betraying him with a quick stutter. But when he felt a burn appearing in his throat and in his eyes, he decided enough was enough. 

Taking over full control of the craft, Poe forced the large Starfighter to sharply turn and make its way back to the tarmac. He wouldn't sit there and allow the recruit to verbally lash out on him. Nor would he stoop down to his level and open the floor to a bickering match that would only further hurt the both of them. If Hux wanted to continue to berate and degrade him, then, fuck it all to hell. He's had enough fighting. 

"Y-You know what, Hux? I was going to apologize for what _I_ said. Because shit happens, you know? Whatever I said that pissed you off, I'm fuckin' sorry. But you... You're just an asshole. I mean," he scoffed, his throat beating hard in every pulse point on his body. "Just forget it, man. It's over, alright? You don't have to fuckin' worry about me anymore. I'm gone. Go do your life, I'll do mine. Drop the class, stay in the class. I don't fuckin' care anymore. I'm done."

The General flinched at the words. Yes, perhaps he deserved that, but he hadn't meant to bring back the fight. If only his stubborn pride had realized that, as well, he might have been able to control is tongue more. Now he was in an even bigger hole than before and left to awkwardly try and climb out of it.

Let it go, one voice said to him. You're not here forever. You have a job. Get yourself together and just accept this as fate teaching you a lesson.

The louder voice in his head told him to fix what he had broken. 

With another sigh and a slow twist in his seat to face the pilot directly, Hux bit back his natural response and snark. He shoved aside his persona to be something closer to himself. "Poe," he didn't know what he could say after that. There was so much that needed to be vocalized, but nothing formed in his mind. "I'm sorry. I was... Force, I was so out of line. And I would try and convince myself that some made up excuse validated what I said to you, but nothing does."

Glancing out the window and seeing the base and tarmac returning to view, the ginger stopped trying to hold himself back anymore. "This is what I do, Poe. I ruin people. I break them down when they get too close or I feel too much. And I don't know what... The idea that I started a relationship with you for petty points on virtually nonexistent examinations, especially because you know that I'm better off than the other recruits... I don't know. It made me question the validity of our connection and I regretted telling you about the First Order. I'm sorry."

Hux rubbed his hands over his face, willing away the sting in his eyes. "And you have every right to walk away, but, Maker, I don't want us to be over."

“So what now, then?”

Poe couldn’t help sounding distressed. Desperate, even. He glared at the recruit through the visor of his helmet for a split moment before focusing on landing the craft safely. When the brakes put an end to their travels, he quickly removed his helmet, dark curls falling into his eyes. A slightly trembling hand reached up to brush them back while the other settled the helmet in his lap.

“Are we just going to keep building ourselves up just to tear each other down first chance we get? Is that how we’re going to be, Hux? Huh? Tell me, because I don’t have the strength to be torn down anymore. I do that enough on my own.” The last three syllables were seethed through gritted teeth as the pilot’s nostrils flared. “I made a joke, Gavin. A simple joke. A _repeated_ joke. Maybe one that shouldn’t have been repeated. Maybe one that shouldn’t have been made in the first place. But he doesn’t know us. He doesn’t know what we have – had – between us. Fuck, _I_ don’t even really know anymore, to tell you the truth. But you _hurt_ me. And for what? Why? Because I hurt your pride? Because _you_ allowed yourself to open up to me? You punish _me_?”

He was on a roll now. Words poured from his mouth as his emotions finally boiled over. 

“You think I don’t know everyone in my life has left me? Maybe that’s why I push people away. Which, by the way, thanks for throwing _that_ into my face as well. Really needed to get that slap of honesty. Thank you.”

The Commander was fighting harder to keep his language focused on one, really wanting to make sure everything that needed to be said was said in a way Hux could fully understand him. On the flip side, he was beginning to speak with his hands now. They motioned wildly in the small space between them, occasionally smacking against the other for reiteration.

Hux shrunk back against the wall of the cockpit more and more, flinching away from the gesturing hands. The closer they got to him, the more cornered he felt, strapped and locked in the tight space. His breath slowly started to tremble and quicken. Poe's voice blended into another one - one from years ago as it yelled at the ginger. As pain shot through him with each slap of a hand against his skin. Each word burned into a child's mind until he still heard them in his sleep, no matter how old he was. Finally not able to take it anymore and he started to shake, the ginger unlocked the hatch and tried to get out, only to be restrained by the seatbelt.

With a loud whine and a few failed attempts at unbuckling himself, Gavin freed himself and jolted out of the ship. The anger was too real, tensions too high, and hands moving in too erratic of ways. The claps that sounded from the hands coming together were too loud and too familiar - too much like all those fights with his father and all the times with Marcus. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." The redhead repeated over and over in whimpers as he staggered away from the X-Wing, his right hand itching the scars that decorated his other wrist.

He shook his head, desperate to clear his thoughts and to bring himself back to the present. The General reminded himself over and over that Poe would never hurt him, even now, after everything, the pilot would not lay a hand on him. A few steps more, a few shivers and soft noises, and Hux slumped - dropping to his knees before falling sideways to just lay there, on the ground, his own arms wrapping around himself in a pitiful excuse for comfort and defense.

Poe’s reaction time was, perhaps, a bit lagging. He was still very much lost to the anger and hurt when Gavin had so desperately tried to get away from him. At first, he believed it to be because Hux had had enough; that it officially _was_ over. But those sounds, the almost pained, terrified whimpers, proved otherwise. Eyes widening and facial expression wholly changing, Poe felt his heart drop into the pit of his stomach. He felt stupid. He felt like the world’s biggest fool. To let his anger take over like that… 

In his quickened attempts at getting to Hux’s side, Poe had pulled the same move; attempting to bolt out of the cockpit with his seatbelt still very much attacked. It took him a few seconds of fumbling around with the belt before finally throwing it off of his body and hurrying out of the craft. 

What he failed to notice, however, was Rhys off in the distance, who had caught sight of the X-Wing returning to base just a bit too soon. Figuring the pair had went and got at each other’s throats once more, Rhys was fully prepared to step in between them and diffuse whatever energy was sparking between them and preparing to explode. But as he saw the recruit’s body hit the tarmac, his brow furrowed and concern etched over his otherwise joyous expression. Rhys wasn’t given enough time to properly get to the distraught male, however, as Poe had suddenly taken his exit from the Starfighter and knelt down beside him.

“Shh, hey, hey, you’re safe… I’m sorry, fuck. I’m so sorry… Baby, you’re safe, c’mon… C’mon, look at me, doll. It’s me. It’s Poe… You’re safe…” Though all he wanted was to tug Gavin straight into his arms, Poe knew he had to be slow and cautious. Any sudden movements or grabs to Hux’s body would only be detrimental to his wellbeing, so he slowly reached out, placing a comforting hand on the recruit’s shoulder. 

“C’mon, baby. You’re fine… I’m sorry… Hey, c’mere…”

Scooting closer, Poe dropped down onto his ass, his knees bent and held open so he could slowly pull his lover into his embrace. When he had the taller male halfway in his lap, his arms wrapped tightly around him, and he began to sway them back and forth. “Shhh, it’s okay… You’re okay…” Was repeated multiple times as Poe’s lips pressed to his eyes, just dying to get the other male comforted and calmed down. How could he allow his emotions to boil over like that? Especially after Gavin had confessed what had happened to him in the past?

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I won't... I won't do it again." The ginger's mind was a blur of sensation mixed with memory mixed with present awareness. Shivers ran through him and his open eyes focused on nothing in particular as his own arms held onto himself ever tighter. As he recognized the person with him as Poe, he relaxed slightly, his entire being understanding that the pilot was not a threat to him, even in the midst of this seeming shock-state. Jade eyes dropped to look at the fuzzy image of Dameron's arms around his body, and, slowly, Hux unwrapped his own self-hug to cautiously embrace the man currently whispering soothing little nothings to him.

That's what people did, right? They held one another, not themselves?

The shivering of his body very suddenly ceased, a complete stillness taking over the lithe form. Somewhere in his head, the stages of shock stepped forward as well as a med-droid's mechanical voice telling him about side effects that may occur based on his past experiences.

Get it together. Get it together. The General willed himself, whimpering softly as memory played on repeat in his head. He closed his eyes tightly and shifted so he could bury his face into the Commander's neck. He felt safe there, breathing Poe in and coming back to himself. Slowly, he calmed down and leaned more fully against his lover, or once-lover - he didn't care right now to ask.

With a small voice, Hux murmured, trying to joke and bring them back to a time when he wasn't a human puddle, "for the best pilot in the Resistance... Your turn was shaky." He moved from his hideaway to send a small, teasing look to the other man. "I'm okay." His eyes closed. "I'm here."

From a distance, Rhys was fully and completely and _entirely_ shocked at the scene playing out before him. At first, he had automatically assumed Poe was going to rush forward and just finish the obviously distraught recruit off, and a large part of him wanted to intervene, separate the two, and force common sense down both of their throats. But to see Poe actually _comforting_ him, like a… Like a lover would do.

Stepping further back into the shadows, the burly male watched with concerned interest. All too quickly, the clues were beginning to add up; Poe’s happiness, Hux’s interest in the classes, Poe’s look of disgust at his extra credit remark… “Force…” Rubbing his face with his palm, Rhys sighed. It all made sense. 

If Rhys’ suspicions were true, and his gut instinct was very nearly never wrong, then he would sit back and let it all unfold without any help from him. The two could be a lethal combination together, but destructive elements if too much of one or the other was added. It would be a balance that they needed to figure out on their own. 

The pathetic attempt at lightening the mood around them brought forth a chuckle from the Commander’s lips. He lifted one hand to stroke through helmet mussed hair before letting it cup Gavin’s cheek. “For someone seeking extra credit, you sure were quick to put on the autopilot.” There, the joke _needed_ to be said in its proper form. In a teasing, playful way. It was what sparked the flame that burst into an all-consuming rage around them, after all. 

Poe needed Hux to know he meant _no_ harm with repeating Rhys’ words earlier. And the last thing he wanted to do was belittle him or peg him as a pathetic sop in need of help.

The small scoff and weakened glare that followed Poe's words held no heat behind them - the jade eyes were, if nothing else, tired. The emotional turmoil and breakdown had drained Hux and left him feeling depleted. He pressed closer to the pilot, taking in his warmth and trying to draw on the man's energy and strength to use it as his own. 

"Well, what better way to pass a test than to have the ship do it for you?" The ginger joked, the upturn of his lips widening slightly, even as his eyes darted away and his gaze fell to the floor. "I'm sorry. Not just for last night, but for _this_ , too. It... Doesn't happen often. But, well, sometimes it does." He sighed. "I didn't mean to restart the fight up there. It's just... Sometimes my tongue works much faster than my mind."

A hand raised up to gently rest on Dameron's cheek as Gavin looked up at him once more. He wasn't entirely sure where they stood, now, but he knew that they were better off than they once were. Some of the tension around them had lessened, even if it took a mental breakdown to get them to that point of relief. With a head shake, he spoke once more. "What I said to you was... Absolutely terrible and cruel. I'm sorry, Love--Poe." A bitten lip and dropped gaze followed. "I really fucked it up this time, didn't I?"

Jade eyes focused on the Commander's lips, flicked up to dark eyes, and back down to the pilot's mouth once more. A silent question as well as a hope - Can I kiss you? Are we okay?

Suddenly, Rhys had all the proof he needed. He watched with widening eyes as Poe slowly leaned in to close the already minimal distance between them for a soft kiss to the lips. A smirk spread over the larger male’s features as he shook his head and finally turned, taking his leave and allowing the two their privacy. If anyone made their way through the hangar towards where he was just standing, he’d find a way to deter them. But other than that, the pair were on their own in the hopes of not getting caught by anyone else.

Just as quickly as Poe responded to that look between his eyes and his lips, he broke the connection. They weren’t okay, truly. Not fully. And Poe wasn’t entirely sure they were going to be fully okay any time soon. But they weren’t lost to their angered emotions anymore. And they certainly weren’t horrible. This… This, he could work with. This he could find a way to build up from once more. It wasn’t a total demolition of where they had built themselves up to, but there definitely was some rubble to sift through. 

“You fucked up,” Poe muttered with a slight nod of his head. “You… Hurt me. You just... You can’t throw that sort of stuff in my face, alright? Like I said, I know everybody left me. I get it… Don’t use it against me.”

The Commander knew they were running a big risk of being seen holding each other in such an intimate way, so he sighed and slowly pushed himself away. After standing, he reached out to help the recruit up as well, daring to risk one more much needed peck to the other’s mouth. 

“Look, let’s just take tonight separately, unwind from whatever the fuck we just put ourselves through… Join me for dinner tomorrow?”

The ginger answered with a silent nod. Separation with the promise of reunion. Or, rather, separation with the invitation of another chance. He didn't have to take it. In fact, Hux could just as easily vanish overnight as he could appear for dinner the night after. But then this would be left incomplete and walking away meant no turning back and, no matter how many thoughts flew around his head the previous night and how much he had convinced himself that he could be without Poe, the hard truth was this:

He wasn't okay. He was lost and floating in the middle of a world where he could not see, but Dameron could navigate. The pilot tethered them together and kept Gavin from disappearing completely. However, this minor divergence of their relationship would be nothing compared to what would happen when Hux cut the tether completely and left once more.

This wasn't a rock and a hard place. The General had placed himself between Snoke and a prison chamber in the Resistance and the sooner he had accepted that--

Hux shook the thought away and, with a smile that he forced onto his lips, finally responded aloud. "Dinner tomorrow sounds good. But you have to know by now that everyone I've cared for has seen me as worthless and as a toy. Jokes like that... They cut deep." A sigh and a pause. "And I know that you think everyone has abandoned you and that's how it will always be - people always leaving you." His gaze dropped before raising once more as he offered a single lie. "But I won't."


	32. What's Your Limits?

Poe nodded as a sigh fell from his lips. “You’re right… I wasn’t the only victim here. I’m sorry.” But while he was apologizing for things, he figured he might as well mention another flaw of his. “And… I’m sorry in advance for any future argument that I may focus on my own feelings… And maybe forget it takes two to argue.” It wasn’t a perfect apology, but he hoped it would at least get his point across. 

A part of him had hoped Hux would put his foot down, say something along the lines of, ‘why wait until tomorrow’, but no… Poe knew they both needed a night to just calm down. He still wasn’t entirely sure which direction his emotions wanted to take him, and the last thing they could handle right now would be the wrong words spoken once more, just throwing them deep into the pits of anger once more. 

“Again. I’m sorry.” Sighing, Poe leaned in and pressed a longer lasting kiss to the redhead’s lips before reluctantly pulling away from his warmth. “Dinner, tomorrow night. I’ll see you in lessons though.” Feeling slightly awkward, Poe shoved his hands into his pockets and turned, making his way back towards the X-Wing to park it in its proper space inside the hangar bay.

Walk away, Hux tried to tell himself. Walk away and put space between the them. Use the remainder of the evening and night to breathe and think - pinpoint when, exactly, it was that he had gone insane. It was never that easy, however, with the General, and he found himself once more speaking before his mind fully caught up with what he was about to request.

"Your X-Wing is custom, which makes _that_ one much easier to fly," Gavin closed his eyes as he finished his thought. "Care to show me what it takes to be marked the 'best pilot in the Resistance'?"

The ginger tried to convince himself that he wasn't desperately hoping that Poe would rise to the challenge and give them just a few more minutes together after they almost fell to pieces and shattered in different directions. He put a smirk on - another tease, another piece of the puzzle that shifted back into its original place.

"Preferably, show me in yours."

At the base of the ladder rope, Poe froze. He had one hand up, gripping on one the bars, and his right foot already ready to push himself up on the climb. But Hux’s suggestion made him stop. He needed that space, right now, or so he thought, at least. To clear his mind and figure out a few more things. On that same note, however, he needed that closeness and comfort Gavin could bring him. 

As it stood, he was precariously balanced on a tightrope, and big gale force winds were rapidly approaching. While Gavin offered him that safety net of a promised catch should he fall, he also held the scissors able to cut through the tightrope and send him plummeting before that storm even hit. Turning to face him, Poe flashed him a soft smile. “Meet me by my X-Wing,” he finally caved in, deciding to secure himself that extra time with the recruit and seek solitude later on.

Poe kept his helmet on as he walked across the tarmac towards his own craft, the recruit’s helmet tucked securely under his arm. He couldn’t stop the smile from reappearing as he neared to find the taller male leaning up against one of the engines. As he had parked the other one in its place, he had caught Rhys’ eye. He couldn’t quite figure out what the expression was that one on his face, but he shrugged it off with a roll of his eyes. 

Now, his cheeks flushed a soft pink to think of the closeness him and Gavin would be forced into with the tight confines of the more single-pilot accommodating cockpit. He wasn’t entirely sure if he was more excited or more nervous about it. If anything, they could use this closeness as their chance to talk… Save them the trouble of another night apart. “Ready?” The Commander flashed him another small smile as he approached, motioning up at the X-Wing.

In the moments that they were apart, Hux took the time to tell himself again and again that he had lost it. That he was coming across as needy instead of strong and that, really, there wasn't a difference between departing a few minutes ago and departing after they flew around. It was still a separation, but the ginger clung to the idea that, just maybe, it wasn't.

The ginger reached out and flipped up his hopefully-still-lover's flight visor up, giving into the temptation to steal a kiss before putting his own helmet on. "Am I ready to see the famous Poe Dameron fly first hand? Yes. Am I ready to be pressed against you? Yes. Am I ready for a helmet to once again mess up my hair? No, but I'll complain about it later."

Jade eyes glanced up at the cockpit, remembering how they had fidgeted and kicked at one another to find a way to both fit. He was hoping it would be different, now. That instead of pushing and shoving, they would pull and embrace. Instead of harsh words and challenges, they would be able to talk - and they needed to, regardless of if they were in the air or on the ground.

Without any more delay, Hux climbed the rope ladder into the X-Wing, shifting until he was as close to the single seat's edge as he could be to allow room for the other man. They could move around and get comfortable once they had both fit into the tight space.

Poe’s eyes shamelessly checked out the natural curve Hux’s slender body held to it as he ascended the rope ladder. Regardless of whatever they were currently going through, the pilot couldn’t deny the fact that he was still immensely attracted to the other male, and probably always would be… Once Gavin climbed into the cockpit, Poe was quick to follow; his leg swinging over in a smooth motion. 

As he expected, the space was extremely tight. It took him a few moments of fidgeting around, accidentally bumping into the taller male, before finally he was able to bend his legs in a way for Hux to slide on back, nearly pressed against him. He was certain once the craft lifted and took off, that there would be not a breath of space left between the two bodies. On one hand, he was perfectly alright with that thought. On the other, he was regretting this decision already.

“Alright, you ready?” The pilot spoke through their helmets once he had the systems on and ready for takeoff. In order to reach the controls, his arms had to snake around the lithe frame, and this time, Poe took advantage and held onto him a bit tighter. 

He didn’t opt for routine lift off. No… Dameron was in this to impress, now. He directed the craft towards the end of the tarmac, a smug look on his features, before engaging the engines nearly full speed. The Starfighter began to jet down the runway until it reached full speed, then he pulled back on the controls and lifted the X-Wing into the air. Fancy steering had him maneuvering quite dangerously through some trees before he finally leveled it out above the canopy.

The almost relaxed state that Hux had been in fell away into taut muscles and fingers digging into Poe's pant legs, until they were flying smoothly once more. The ginger found himself pressed back-to-chest with the pilot, fit snugly between the man's body and the steering mechanism. While he was happy to be in such close contact, words unspoken still danced in his mind.

His grip that clawed into the fabric beneath them slowly released its hold, and his hands simply rested there for a few moments as the General enjoyed the smooth flight. He fidgeted and frowned slightly, locked in place and more in the way than not. Jade eyes glanced around as an idea quickly came to him. With swift study of the small area around them, Hux began to wiggle around in the seat.

He squirmed and twisted until he was sitting sideways in the seat, one shoulder pressed against Dameron's chest as he finished maneuvering. It wasn't exactly the safest sitting arrangement, but it allowed the Commander's arms more room to pilot. And the fact that Gavin could actually see Poe, now, was quite the bonus.

The redhead sighed, "You're good." With a small hum, he pressed closer to the man, relaxing further. This was simple and calming. A flight over treetops. "You should be recommended to travel agencies," he sassed. "Show me what makes you the best."

That _may not_ have been the best challenge for the ginger to give in their current situation. While Poe was glad to have a better view of his lover’s – ex lover’s – features, he knew the sitting arrangement wasn’t the safest or smarted to be in. Regardless, he wasn’t one to back down from a challenge. Especially not when the challenge included showing off to someone he was highly interested in. “Your wish is my command, sweet lips. Hold on.” 

The warning came with absolutely no time for reaction before he was jerking up on the steering mechanism once more. This time, Poe fell into a roleplay of sorts, imagining himself in the heart of battle. Before his eyes, he saw enemy lines on the ground and dangerous obstacles to avoid in the air. His tongue caught between his teeth as his lips pinched up into a snarl the more into the moment he became. 

Knowing he shouldn’t be engaging his weapons, Poe thought ‘fuck it’, threw caution to the wind, aimed… Then ultimately fired. Down below, he expertly leveled a perfect line of trees, a proud smirk over taking his features. With as far out as they had flown at this point, he wasn’t concerned about anyone being in the forest that deep; over time, he had discovered himself to be the only one with an adventurous heart enough to seek travels and discover new things.

In the time it took for Gavin to blink, he went from lounging in the pilot's lap to clinging to Poe for dear life as they spiraled and flipped and twisted around invisible obstacles. His arms secured themselves around the pilot's neck, keeping them pressed together as the simulation continued. As much as he hated to admit it, too, seeing Dameron in action, even in an imaginary battle, was alluring and attractive.

The Commander was completely focused, and his face showed that, even though the playfulness in his onyx eyes still stayed. Rhys's words returned to Gavin all at once - Poe genuinely loved to fly and that passion was on full display, now.

They needed to talk and lay everything out. They needed to see if there were any bridges that hadn't been burned down. But all of those needs faded as they took another twirl that turned into a flip. Hux could feel his heart jump from his chest as they spiraled faster and faster toward the ground before pulling up last second and dodging through trees. He held onto his human handlebar ever tighter, cries of surprise and excitement being torn from him with the subsequently more dangerous moves, regardless of how expertly done they were.

"Okay! Okay! You're the best, I get it!!"

Once he had gotten that seal of approval from his co-pilot, a proud, smug grin stretched over his lips. Without really thinking, he leaned in for just a brief moment to the male sitting side-saddle on his lap and left a quick peck to the corner of his mouth. “I know,” was his playfully cocky remark as he finally leveled the craft out for a final time. Knowing that he was able to impress left the Commander with a feeling of elation that temporarily helped relieve him of the lingering negativity he had been feeling about the entire argument. 

Turning the Starfighter in one more swift barrel roll, Dameron had them heading back to the hangar. A soft chuckle rolled from his lips from the tight grip Gavin still had around his neck and he leaned in, nuzzling his cheek as best he could. 

“I gotta admit,” the pilot teased, his gaze moving from the window to Hux’s face, “this is much better than the first time we were in here.” 

It was amusing at this point, really, how vast of a difference it had all become from day one of meeting this firecracker, to the current day at hand. Even with their argument feeling _very_ reminiscent of the fiery attacks they originally started out with, it still seemed different in a way. Before, when Poe would have been anxious to put space between them, now, he still wanted the other male close and with that desire to put out the flames.

"I would be inclined to agree with that," the ginger stated simply. There was an odd, new air between them. They were balanced on a precipice, desperate to keep themselves from falling in two different directions while also trying to keep an arm's length between them. They were stuck in an odd and awkward pull-push grip with nothing left to do but decide whether or not to fall together or stand.

Couples fought, right? No pair was so perfect that they did not cut one another as well as mend them. Perhaps their knives were not as sharp as the one that Gavin had wielded, but, while he had aimed for Poe's heart, he had not fully pierced it.

That probably said a lot more about how utterly consumed he had become with the pilot than he cared to ponder just yet. But had he really fallen so far? Had he truly reached a point where a night without the other man felt less like punishment and more like hopelessness? Maybe the better question would be this: if they met in battle, would the General be able to bring himself to pull the trigger?

He shook his head.

Hux sighed, hating for this moment to end, but knowing that, one way or another, it needed to. "Can we talk? I know there's more that needs to be said between us than a short flight back can accomplish but... We might as well start now."

Suggestions to talk weren’t always a good thing, and Poe knew that. Regardless, they needed to talk, even if the conversation decided to turn away from their favor and work against them. He didn’t want his relationship with Hux to end, not so suddenly, and especially not over one fight… Their _first_ fight after establishing a relationship on top of that. But maybe it just wasn’t a good mix. Oil and fire were a lethal pair, after all…

They had to try, though. The spark they had discovered between them was something special. It grew to more than just a dull flame in such a short amount of time. One night without the other left Poe feeling rather empty and lonely. That had to mean something, didn’t it? It wasn’t just a simple fling. Gavin wasn’t a simple bed warmer for him. So, that alone, Dameron felt was worth fighting for.

Even still, the thought of conversing about it worried him.

“Right, of course… N-No point in putting it off any more, right?”

The Commander chuckled a bit nervously as he dropped his gaze for a brief moment to look at the recruit sitting sideways in his lap. He just wanted everything fixed. He wanted them back to how they were yesterday morning. Laughing and holding each other, kissing, having amazing sex… Not this awful tension that was so thick, it felt as though he were underwater.

With a heavy sigh, Poe flipped a switch, putting the craft into autopilot and the speed to a mere gliding through the air, no longer the powerful thrusters he was using previously. “We need to figure out where we stand currently. You said you didn’t want us to end, but, Hux… I don’t think this will be the last of what we just did to each other. I can’t promise that I won’t handle things maturely, I just… I can’t.. You have your own defense mechanisms, just as I do. And if we are going to make this happen, then we really need to find a way to figure those out. Together. Not once the situation arises and we’re at each other’s throats once more.”

The ginger nodded slowly, part of him wishing that he could put distance between them because, at the nearness they were, now, Poe could see every flicker of emotion that passed through his jade eyes. He couldn't hide, here. So he didn't try to shield himself. He didn't try to hide the way his eyes held a hopeful flame that was dimming with each passing second. He didn't want them to end, that was true, but it was equally likely that this would be the first of many fights between them. Would it get worse? Would they continue to cut one another deeper until the day that Hux returned to his post and ordered a swift destruction of this planet and everyone on it?

With a bitten lip, the General considered both possibilities. Could it be better? If they know one another deeper, that would give them insight to one another's rage and how they lash out in said anger. They could learn to work cohesively instead of in opposition - read each other like a flame helps someone read black ink at night.

So, what, then? 

"I think," Hux began, thoughts not quite fully formed as he spoke. "That you and I are mirror images of one another. And that leads to a lot of tension because we're so similar, but not identical." A hint of truth to go with his words, a change of subject from the proverbial to the actual. "My association with the First Order, for example." Too close. "That part of my past is something that I've yet to fully come to terms with and... It's something that I'd rather forget when I'm with you, but it's a part of me."

And, yes, perhaps they were talking about to different associations, for Hux did not want to reveal his current status and Dameron only knew of what was written on a made up file, but, it was the first example that has slipped into his mind in lieu of their previous fight.

"And I get defensive when I feel insecure and closed in. I'm sorry for what I said, I'm sorry that I couldn't stop myself... But I've learned over the years that the only way to not be hurt is to keep everyone away from you and that when you get too close, you end up getting used," the ginger's words were becoming more and more true as he spoke until he was baring himself to the pilot. "I learned a long time ago that loneliness was better than risking contact. And then there was you." He took a shaky breath. "And I'll be honest with you, Poe, it terrifies me that I'm comfortable with you and that I want to be with you and that I'm completely falling for you."

Gavin trailed off, looking away and out the window. "I can't promise that it'll be easy and that I won't say something inconsiderate, again, but... Force, I'll try my best."

So, had they come to an understanding? Were they simply arrived at a plateau? Regardless, it seemed that both Commander and recruit wanted their relationship to continue. And that truly did relieve Poe greatly. Yet, at the same time, he was left with a bit of uncertainty. Last thing he’d ever want to do would be to hurt Gavin in any way. Physically, he knew he could never lay a hand on him. But mentally… They both could throw daggers with their gazes alone, and heated words sometimes cut deeper than anything physical.

“I’m not asking you to be perfect, love… I’d never ask that. It would be far too hypocritical of me. But I am asking of you, what I’m willing to promise… Is to try. That’s all. We’re both… Unused to this whole thing,” as in dating, “and we kind of just need to find our footing. Maybe we’re moving too fast, I don’t know…” Leaning back as much as he could in the cramped space, Poe bounced his head lightly off the back of his seat. “Fuck it.” After pinching the bridge of his nose and groaning, Poe’s eyes reopened and he looked to Hux with a pained look in his eyes.

“I’m fuckin’ into you, Gav. I don’t know why… You drive me absolutely insane in way too many different ways. You can be rude, you know how to absolutely destroy someone with words alone, you can be cold and distant…” His expression softened and a much warmer look took over his features. “You also make me feel complete, in a way. Warm, appreciated… You’ve put a smile back on my face. And that, right there, is enough for me to know that you are worth fighting for. You are worth getting to know and getting past your personal insecurities…”

Why he was barring his true feelings, he wasn’t sure. Surely, he didn’t have to. And he felt a bit sappy while doing it. But if they were to open up to each other and have a full, honest conversation, then there was no point in hiding anything. “So if you don’t think this will work… If you have _any_ doubts about us, _at all_ , then please… Just tell me now. I can’t go through losing someone again.”

That struck Gavin deeply and he glanced out the window once more, unable to look at Poe for a long time. If you love something, let it go. That was the saying, wasn't it? Set free those you care for, let them fly unhindered and on their own. Don't tether them, but instead encourage their wings to open and their hearts to soar.

If it comes back, it's yours. 

If you never see it again, it was never yours to begin with.

Hux was very suddenly faced with a decision that had no win-outcome. If he was selfless, he would cut them both free. He'd let them both go their separate ways and he'd accept that he had lost the pilot forever. It would hurt and neither of them would be able to be anything to the other. It would be a clean cut, but a devastating one. It would tear Gavin apart until there was nothing left of him. But Poe would... He'd probably be damaged just as badly. But if they continued this, well, then the redhead was setting them up for the exact same fate - they would be torn and separated, regardless.

So, then the question was this: would it be better to sever their ties now or later?

The truth hit the slighter man so hard that he couldn't breath. A realization that he always knew what he was going to say, always knew what his answer would be, no matter how much it hurt in the end. His heart beat out the reason, the motivation, even though Hux was unwilling to admit it to himself or anyone else. Jade eyes turned back to Dameron as pale fingers unlatched first the helmet adorning the redhead and then the black one that protected his lover. With slow motions, he brought them together in a soft kiss. "We'll make this work. We'll figure it out. We can. No matter what."

Poe believed him, as he had not a single reason not to… The smile that commanded his lips was wide, genuine, and brighter than any star could ever be. And why shouldn’t it? Gavin, for whatever reason, captured him. And Poe no longer had the strength to fight against it, or continually question why. For now, it was him, and his lover. And he was glad. Happy. Content. Scared as shit. And nowhere near ready for any sort of announcements or letting anyone know. Not until he could figure out what the repercussions would be.

With his hand now gripping the back of Hux’s head, Poe brought him forward into another kiss, though this time, it wasn’t anywhere near as soft. The kiss held a lot of need to it as Poe’s mouth attempted to make up for lost time. He didn’t wait very long before parting his lips, using the motion to force Gavin’s open as well, deepening it into a heated make-out. 

He couldn’t let things get terribly heated though. Not when they were up in the air in a severely cramped space. Though… The thought alone was enough to arouse him. Still, he broke the kiss, panting softly for air. “W-We should head back…” The whispered words didn’t want to come out, as Poe had no desire to return at all to the base. “We should… Yeah… W-We should…”

Hux mumbled something in agreement, but didn't move from the pilot's lips, grazing their mouths together in a tantalizing touches. He debated asking for more time, pressed against one another as the ship takes them in wide, arching circles or straight across the planet. He wanted them to find a place to land that was far away from everyone else and make up in a much more physical way than sitting and talking.

Unfortunately, Gavin knew that the best thing for them to do for the night was leave one another alone, to collect themselves and finish letting go of their anger before coming back together once more. He didn't want them to rush into their second chance, only to completely ruin it by saying something that accidentally struck a cord that was still sore.

So, with all the will he could possibly muster up, the ginger pulled back and replaced their helmets. They would have more time with one another, for now that was certain. They would make time and make up, but they also had to learn one another's boundaries, which brought the General to a question he had once pondered that seemed so out of place in the present moment that it made him laugh. He took a few seconds to regain control as he chuckled and chortled before finally explaining. "I just remembered that I was going to ask what your limits were for sex last night. I have no idea why that's as funny as it is, now, but it is."

Almost instantly, Poe was regretting the suggestion that they take the night separately, even if it initially was his idea to begin with. Now that things were beginning to settle down between them once more, he wanted that contact and warmth that sleeping with Gavin between his arms brought him. It was with a sigh that he allowed the other male to place his helmet back on, not quite ready to part from the kissing yet. His lips still held a bit of a pucker to them even after the helmet was settled back atop his head, so he leaned in, knocking the hardened material together in order to secure himself one more kiss. 

Gavin’s statement, however, made the pilot laugh rather hard. “What sort of limits are you interested in knowing?” He chuckled once he had the craft switched back off of autopilot and into manual. The craft jostled a bit with the change, moving the recruit around on his lap, but Poe was quick to level them out. “Hm… Well…” How did he want to handle this conversation… He could easily make a few jesting remarks, but with some of the tension still lingering between them, he decided to keep things rather calm and basic.

“No freaky fetishes,” he was quick to state. "We can do some of the tying up and restraining stuff, but you already know I'm into that," the pilot smirked, lifting them higher so the craft disappeared through the clouds. "Not real big on being called daddy... But, uh... I'm guessing you won't mind that either. And I probably should warn you, that I can have a bit of a public kink... So... Fair warning... Now, tell me. What sort of limits do you have?"

"A public kink? Alright," Hux murmured as jade eyes tracked the clouds they passed through. He shifted around so he could rest more comfortably before actually thinking about an answer. What was needed to be said and what would be more interesting for Poe to find out on his own? "I'm in agreement with 'freaky fetishes'." The smile that came along with that statement was almost invisible, but nevertheless there.

A blush painted pale cheeks like watercolors. Really, after all they had done and already talked about, how was it this conversation that had Gavin so suddenly shy? He watched the clouds around them, putting together his words. "Boundaries. I don't mind restraints as much as people might think I should. But depending on how restrained we go, I'd like a safe word or something, just in case. I... Sometimes like overstimulation play. And roleplay, but, I think you already had a hint about that."

The General shrugged. "I'm willing to try almost anything once with someone I trust, and I trust you." He glanced back at Dameron, finally. "Where are we going if not to the ground?"

It was only then that Poe realized he was now circling the base without even catching on. Truly, he did not want to land. But what was the point of delaying their evening for another night, if he was just going to say screw it, chuck it in the fuck it bucket, and subconsciously find a way to drag out their entire afternoon? So he sighed, shaking his head, and aimed towards the tarmac. “Sorry, didn’t even realize…”

His mind was stuck on processing what Gavin had just said to him. He _did_ highly enjoy that little roleplay they had between them previously, and he was intrigued to find out more about the ‘overstimulation play’… But the roleplay… “So, when you were pretending to be the General of the First Order… Was that something deeper than just a spur of the moment thing?” Poe focused on landing the craft safely, though he chose the far end of the tarmac with the idea in mind that they would have a longer walk together.

“Were you trying to get to that point once in your life? To become General?” Before, he thought it was just a sexual fantasy played out between two lovers. He never actually thought that it amounted to anything more than that. But, now… Now that Gavin’s gone and confessed that he was once a part of the Order, it had Poe’s mind spinning with thoughts. Regardless of why Gavin felt compelled to play that role, it was hot. And he would gladly fall back into that role at another point for fun. The thought, though, of Gavin ever becoming something so prominent in the enemy's group made him frown. What if that had happened? They never would have met… None of this would be happening.

Something very close to worry and fear crept up the ginger's spine. Bad topic. Too close. Of course, Poe didn't realize exactly how wrong he assumption was - Hux was not striving to be a General, he was one. A powerful one at that, being so connected to Supreme Leader Snoke. As the X-Wing came to a smooth stop, he made no move to leave his place in Dameron's lap.

He had been reckless, again. Careless in what he said and did, and now, he was going to have to explain a roleplay that he had done to cover up the truth he was hiding. Gavin sighed, taking off his helmet once more and dropping it to the floor to instead take one of the Commander's hands in his own. Half of the man that the pilot knew was a lie - a figment created for the sole purpose of giving him an undercover opportunity.

He was a First Order spy and General. It was as simple as that. He had always been drawn to power and strove for it. He still did - his jade eyes were focused, now on a galactic throne.

"I wanted to be better. I wanted to be known, because that meant that I was not in my father's shadow," Hux lied. "And I don't know what I was thinking. I was prideful and rash and..." A long sigh followed as he let his words trail off. "I thought that with power would come control. I thought that's what I needed - to be in control. To pull the strings in every situation." Slender fingers unhooked and pulled off Poe's helmet. "Somewhere along the way, I realized that what I really wanted was to be able to let go. And to live life as _me_ and not just a number. I needed someone to give power to, not take power from, and, frankly, that's against everything the Order stands for."

He wanted out of this conversation before Dameron asked a question that he couldn't answer with a quick story and a hint of truth. "When we were roleplaying, I wanted to make you feel better, and you kept talking about where you thought I could go, so... I don't know, it just came to me." Gavin pressed a kiss to his lover's lips to hide the way the emerald windows to his soul cracked and shattered.


	33. Hey, loves!

As I am sure most of you have already noticed, it has been quite some time since this was last updated. Sadly, this will be the last post you will be seeing on this particular story. While Hux's writer and I have over 400 pages already written up for this current one, we have both come to the conclusion that the story is nowhere near where we want it to be. Along the way, our original plot got derailed due to outside sources, causing the entire tone of the story to flip.

Now, don't worry!

We have already begun revamping the entire thing and getting it back to where we originally wanted it to be. This story is near and dear to both of our hearts, and to both feel so empty when it came to the original story... Well, we were both quick to lose muse. Already, though, we have both found a new love for what we have, and when we've gotten a substantial amount together, expect to see the new and improved Breathe Me In posted.

Thank you so much for all of your feedback and for reading! We both hope you will continue on our journey with us on our new trek.

xoxo


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